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April 19, 2006


(Thanks to Mr. Gene Weimgarten)


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And we do thank Mr. Gene Weingarten.

Oh, and First!

I'd pay that...
Oh, wait. I thought it said $.99.
My bad!

It said author denied. So, it's not a real note that you wrote?

Apparently Dave will autograph anything, whether he wrote it or not.
I hear he crashes signing groups at athletic events, too. Someone may even have a World Series ball with his autograph!

OK, I'll bite. What was the "cow-sneeze quote"? Misfiring minds want to know.

Who is this Weimgarten guy?

And I like the fact that this is listed under "Other Autographs" - it doesnt qualify as a Celebrity Autograph... or even a Presidential (candidate) Autograph?

now if it was a cow fart comment, dave would've claimed that.

cows sneeze?

queensbee - Of course! But only when they have hay fever.


*ducks ubiquitous sock o' nickles*


That's about - multiply by 12, subtract the prime number, add eleventy, divide by 4 - hmmmm,
that's about $5 a word.

It would be a cool thing to have, but it's a little pricy for me.:(

Gene really shouldn't sell memorabilia. Unless you get a cut, Dave. Then its okay. Maybe if you're running short of cash, you could get your job back?

It even has a strikethrough! I think that makes it extra collectable.

Umm... can I get a free one, Dave? Pleeeeeeeeeease :):)

Damn. Maybe I should sell my genuine Dave Barry autographed 3x5 card!

Several years ago, I wrote to Judi asking for two "Dave Barry for President" bumper stickers. I also asked her if "The Rubber Bandit" had ever flown. Dave wrote me back saying that to his knowledge, The Rubber Bandit never got off the ground.

That's got to be worth more than $99.00 on eBay!

Is this note from the Oscar hosting Steve Martin brainstorming days, Dave?

Now if it was about weasel-sneezes and had the word "booger" placed somewhere in the note it would of course go for 99 dollars but I am afraid cow-sneezes are just not going for much this year.

I would never never never never never sell my autographed postcard from his Daveness.

I keep it with me in case I ever pass out so the rescue personnel will read that I am "an Alert Reader and should seek some kind of treatment immediately."

Not the autographed books, either.

MOTW, that is a badge of honor, that postcard.

The following is a true story:

The year was approximately 1997. I read something funny that I absolutely had to send to Dave Barry. So I put it in a green envelope, addressed it, and took it to my truck thinking I'd mail it sometime.

Only, instead of mailing it, the envelope just sat there.

In 1999 I got a new truck and moved the green envelope into it. The envelope was unscathed, except for a clearly visible footprint.

I'm not the kind of guy who cleans his truck all the time. So I assume the green envelope is in my truck outside my office right now, at this very moment.

DAVE: At lunch I'm going to look for the green envelope. I will mail it to you, but in return I would appreciate if you'd send me something worth upwards of $.99 on Ebay.

p.s., I don't remember what's in the envelope. I'm sure it was funny at the time.

When I see those little write-ups about Dave they always mention the Pulitzer Prize but they never mention the Sewage Pumping Station. Why is that?

Cow-sneeze joke exclusive - I believe the joke is:
"When a cow sneezes, does milk come out its nose?"

sidenote - raised with cows myself, I can say that you do not want to be in the path of a real cow sneeze - it's snot pretty. But I've always had cow-tongue envy - they can pick their noses with their tongues! Think how many car accidents would be avoided if we could do that!

MrBill - Yeah, what's up with that?

UPDATE: I found the green envelope. The cleanly defined footprint has become a brown smudge. Somehow the envelope collected a hunk of mud. Next to the hunk of mud I wrote "as referenced on the blog." I stamped it, updated my address, and stuck it in the mail. Enjoy, Dave.

p.s. I'm not a crazy person.

The Sewage Pumping Station gave him a Peeyewlitzer Prize. (scratch 'n sniff, of course)

Hm, Dave have you been reading my friend's web site?

annie: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Many years ago my parents somehow managed to put Dave up to sending me a postcard for my birthday. I was in law school, and it said, Matt, happy birthday to a potential future prosecutor. Sincerely, Dave Barry, potential future defendant. I treasure this postcard to this day and wouldn't consider selling it on eBay unless this guy really does get $99 for his.

Nate, wow! You could get blogged 9 years after the initial idea. Be sure to let us know if it happens (in case Nate isn't your real name).

Nateislate-We'll be waiting--it's kind of like a time capsule...er...envelope.

Matt-How cool, don't sell it for nuthin'!

PS I just reread the text on the posted item. There was ANOTHER Dave Barry??? No way!


For 99 bucks you could have written a little neater!

Snork...this is a tough crowd!

Like many of you, I was an Alert Reader way back when Dave sent out handwritten response cards.

My most treasured Dave postcard came after I sent him an article about a local pig farmer who walked into his barn and caught someone with his pants down..um..."porking"...one of his pigs.

Dave's postcard merely said: "Oink" and was signed "Dave Barry, pervert"

I'll never sell that one on eBay, don't worry Dave. :)

*is really jealous*

Did my eyes deceive me, or is the note signed "DB"? Oh my GAWD, those are Dave's initials. It's gotta be him!

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