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April 01, 2006


Effective Monday, this blog will be changing to yet another blog program (no, we don't know why) and also moving to a new site. Here's the link; please bookmark it. Sorry.


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Argg, go and ruin my saturday morning


Have you no shame???



Dave Dave Dave, You should say "April Fools" after a gag (pun intended) like that.

*sigh* I bookmarked it.

it is WAY too early for this. i'm sorry to say that i didn't note the date until after the link click. i am soooooooooo gullible. at least there was an apology.


Now I shall never see the glorious flowers of spring... *snif*

(Feel guilty yet? You evil, evil man.)

ALMIGHTY BLASTED DANG IT! Hook, line and sinker. Now, please excuse me while I go boil my eyeballs.

ACKK!! you got me.

Hey Dave ~ I'm flying down to Key West next Saturday and have a layover in Miami - can I treat you to a fabulous airport lunch? :)

(even though I haven't yet forgiven you for the evilness yet)

(just remove one of those "yets" from above....thank you)

what a clever april fool joke..........duh.

*snork* @ Dave!

7:40 in the morning, and I've already been fooled twice - once by daughter, now by Dave.

It's gonna be a long day...

Heh heh heh! Ya didn't get ME, Dave!
*pats self on the back* ;)

A stunning photo. I am currently printing out my 14th lazerprinted copy in order to have a collection of that wonderful visage . . .AND THEN GLUE THE WHOLE LOT TO COVER DAVE'S VEHICLE.

AAAAAAUGH! You got me! Dave is EVIL. Feh! Ptooey! Martinishark, I will bring my Superglue and join you.

But will two dozen copies be sufficient or will we need three dozen to adequately cover Dave's compact SUV?

that was just wrong.

Well, I for one don't know WHAT everyone is complaining about ... I thought that was a lovely photo of Dave Barry.

Oh, Mandy.

geez - guess i don't need coffee - i'm wide awake now

(Dave's an evil genius - good thing he ain't plottin' to take over the world)

but at least I didn't bookmark it like Sam G.


Who's the ugly chick?

"I write the blog that makes the whole world shriek........"

Hey Dave, did you hear that BM has written a new song that he's performing in his Vegas act. It's called Dave Barry's makin' this up.

*Crouches and waits for Dave to fall for it.*

I prefer the "Love is a many splendid thing" old and tired version of Manilow myself...

But then again, I liked the FAT Elvis better.

Fell for it. Fell hard. I think I scraped my knee.

I'd forgot it was April Fool's Day. Thanks for the wake up call and my apologies to the neighbors who heard my shrieks of agony. Any other "prank" I encounter today will seem mild by comparison.

Dave - In Florida, do they call it April Cruels Day? Nah - all those old hearts couldnt handle that sort of thing.



That wuz sure a jumpstart for the day ... but I don't think you should be countin' on a bushel of Thank You notes any time soon ... merely sayin' ...

Pranked by Dave first thing in the morning. That is no way to start off the day. At least now I'll be on my toes.


P.S. For you 24 blogits, I will not be in the comments on Monday...I'm will be without computer. So do your best without me. And, hopefully, Dave won't link to another photo like that...

HAH! I knew it was April Fool's! I will not be tricked!! I will be doing the tricking!

You are Evil dave. For some reason I found that amusing. Of course I was drinking coffee at the time.
I think I need a new laptop.

I got served by Dave Barry.

That needs to be a t-shirt. Quickly.

Quoting: "Have you no decency, sir? At long last have you left no sense of decency?"

Sara J - That is pure evil genius! I love it!!! (check her link gang - Thats the kind of thing most of us will appreciate, and some will replicate)

SPJG - I think you need to shrink-wrap any electrical equipment you may be around whenever you visit the blog. It will save you millions in the future.

OK, Dave's not all that evil after all - compared to Sarah J, he's an amature

I just got a phone call from one of my co-workers ... after he's been waiting for his truck (and helping me on the job) to be repaired since last Tuesday, he finally got it back ... he left the motel about 45 minutes ago ... he's now sitting on the shoulder of the freeway with a busted transmission ... so, my leisurely Saturday a.m. will now be a bit rushed, as I leave the blog to take him to a rental car ...

I really don't think this is an elaborate April Fool's joke ... he's not that sort of guy ... well ... he'd better not be ...

talk @y'all after I help him, and then move moi ownself down the road to Pico Rivera ...

Sarah J, you are the best kind of April Fooler. Disguised as sweet and innocent, even offering homemade treats, yet underneath, evil to the core. I'm making some of those today. You are a genius.

*makes note to self - never eat chocolate at SarahJ's*

*Completely reforms previous mental image of Sarah J*
*grins at new image*
*Begins new April Fool's Day diet of scrambled nothings with no bread of any kind (dry), imaginary coffee, with non-fat non-milk*
*Looks furtively over both shoulders*


Chille-drin™, Blue?

*knows Blue will not accept her offering because he fears it is NOT Chille-drin™, but instead some April Fools concoction of disgust*

*hopes Blue makes it through the day*

Yes, as long it doesn't take away from the otherwise dazzled frame of mind I'm in.

Is Pico Rivera any relation to Geraldo?

I had to take a xanax before I clicked on the link Dave. I hope you're happy. When I read the first sentence, I relived the last horrific blog/server change.


Not Happy but Still loves Dave

Actually I didn't spit any coffee on my computer this time. It was a general observation that I might need a new one. Thank you for the idea though.

LOL!!!1 LOLZ!!!1
Good one, Dave. Thankfully THANKFULLY i clicked on it before bookmarking.
But you are evil.

That's funny...I had to take a Xanax AFTER I clicked on the link.

*breathes deeply in and out*


*breathes deeply in and out*


*thprayth thaliva in Dave's general direction*

Yeah, Geraldo would be Pico de Gallo's ugly, bad-tasting fourth cousin, twice removed ... (once on ingestion, the second on regurgitus spewitus ... merely sayin' ...)

Unlike Manilow, I CAN smile without you, Dave.


I do not handle change very well, especially when it comes to my bookmarks. I got all stressed out because for a minute there I forgot how to bookmark and then I clicked on the link and well...it's a good thing I'm on medication.

SarahJ! Who would have guessed that YOU would be capable of such evil and premeditated April Fooliage?



Re SarahJ's prank: A co-worker of mine did something similar one April Fool's Day, only he used cut-up rubber erasers and cloves of garlic. When covered with chocolate they looked a lot like commercial candies. The lucky victims chose the erasers. The unlucky ones --- well, let's just say they were aromatically marked for the rest of the day.

Early Morning Strangers

Every mornin' many late night lovers
Wake up to become early mornin' strangers
Things always look different in the light of day
Every mornin' many late night lovers
Just silently stare, seein' all the changes
It's hard to make small talk
When there's nothin' to say

Early mornin' strangers
Lookin' at each other
That is all we are to one another
Early mornin' strangers
Who wake up to discover
It's just no good without love
To live without love is no life at all
Somewhere baby
There's got to be more

Somewhere baby there's a life worth livin'
Where nobody takes more than they are givin'
Where love is forever
Not just for a day

Early mornin' strangers
Lookin' at each other
That is all we are to one another
Early mornin' strangers
Who wake up to discover
It's just no good without love
To live without love is no life at all

Bye bye baby
I hope you find your love
And I hope I find mine
I hope you find your love
And I hope I find mine

(Happy April Fools Dave!)

Pass the damn eye bleach. He got me, too.

Damn you, Dave!!!!

Dave, you're just frikkin' brilliant.

NOTE to Southern California bloglits: Don't forget - Dave, Ridley, and the Rock Bottom Remainders at the Los Angeles Times Festival o' Books, April 29 - only 4 weeks from today!!

anybody else here think manilow looks like Bambi?

Dave, you are a very bad man. I had the same thought as when I built my lake. What's the first thing you do when you build a lake? Dam it.

gaaaakkkk! AND whateverybodyabovesaid!!

Dave...have 'ye no shame?

Thank you for the April Fool's wake up call.

My hair is still standing on end.

Of course you know, this means war.

*winks at DJT*

Hey, any of u ever pull Leetie's finger...go ahead
pull it...i dare u...pull...

merry christmas to all.... and to all a good night.... whut?

It is that most wonderful time of the year.

Yes it is.

The changing of the clocks.

Ahhh...Tramp, thank you. Somebody mentionned that last night, and (as usual) I completely forgot. Of course this is my least favorite night of the year 'cuz we lose an hour. It takes me two weeks to get used to it.

oh, that is just EVIL.

Thanks for the smile, though!

Shame on me. The tinyurl should have tipped me off.


I should know better by now

I've emailed this out to a buncha people today, but I'll post it here, cos I don't have everyone's address.

The Top 10 Best April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time

#1: The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in, and many called up wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. To this question, the BBC diplomatically replied that they should "place a
sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best." Check out the actual broadcast archived on the BBC's website.

#2: Sidd Finch
In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch and he could reportedly throw a baseball with startling, pinpoint accuracy at 168 mph (65 mph faster than anyone else has ever been able to throw a ball).
Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans everywhere celebrated at their teams's amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more
information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the writer of the article, George Plimpton.

#3: Instant Color TV
In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the
news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, all viewers could now quickly and easily convert their existing sets to display color
reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen, and they would begin to see their favorite shows in color. Stensson
then proceeded to demonstrate the process. Reportedly, hundreds of thousands of people, out of the population of seven million, were taken in. Actual color tv transmission only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

#4: The Taco Liberty Bell
In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell.
Hundreds of outraged citizens called up the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell is housed to express their anger. Their nerves
were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed that it was all a practical joke a few hours later. The best line inspired by the affair came when White House
press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale, and he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold, though to a different corporation,
and would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

#5: San Serriffe
In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement in honor of the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small
republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and
culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica.
The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that everything about the island was
named after printer's terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that then gripped
the British tabloids in the following decades.

#6: Nixon for President
In 1992 National Public Radio's Talk of the Nation program announced that Richard Nixon, in a surprise move, was running for President again. His new
campaign slogan was, "I didn't do anything wrong, and I won't do it again." Accompanying this announcement were audio clips of Nixon delivering his
candidacy speech. Listeners responded viscerally to the announcement, flooding the show with calls expressing shock and outrage. Only during the
second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon's voice was impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted
to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the
internet, and then it rapidly made its way around the world, forwarded by people in their email. It only became apparent how far the article had
spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended
as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

#8: The Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans.
According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

#9: Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers
In its April 1995 issue Discover Magazine announced that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had discovered a new species
in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could
become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the
penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that
the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he
would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had
received for any other article in their history.

#10: Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this
planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

© 2003 Alex Boese

so tonight is the night we "spring forward" - just confirming

*mind is still numb from earlier April Fools attack by Dave*

Proof that I'm still gullible even after having been awake for 10 hours.

Oh, ouch...

Haha, Dave, you can't get me that easily. Not this time. The other 27 times, maybe, but not today.

I promise that all food I make on any day other than April 1st is good and tasty. I am always trustworthy except for today, although I'm saying that today, so who knows if it's really true:)

Wouldn't you think that daylight could save itself by now?

Oh, and
someone didn't get past the peak-a-boo stage of cognitive development.

Stinkin peek!


Geeze. I don't bother reading the comments first and what do I get?


You'ds think mousing over and seeing a tinyurl might have given me a clue, but no, I'm a gullible dope.

Good one Dave.

*right click - save!*

Art Buchwald goes to heaven. Dave, well that's another story....


Meanie, after that last comment, the dawg house is too good for you!
Don't worry everyone - God can't find a parking space.

I just knew it was an April Fools joke, and yet I clicked anyway. My brains must be addled from a day's worth of trying to help customers who say "It's green with purple flowers." and expect me to magically know what kind of plant they're talking about and produce it from my sleeve.

Dave, your fly's open.

Do I sense that that wasn't one of those Norm-walks-into-Cheers kind of enthusiastic greetings, El?

"If you leave
this web site,
I will kill this
defenseless toilet."

so does the loo get whacked or ain't it?

Meanie - El is no longer talking to you, and I can't blame her. Sometimes, comedy is not funny.

Blau Junge~ Was hast du getan?

Hmmm....maybe if I clarified, and apologies (especially to Art) for my stupidity if this wasn't obvious. I wasn't saying Art's flight was leaving immediately, just that he has a confirmed arrival at that destination whenever he's ready for it.

Does that clear it up, or am I in trouble for giving Dave a tongue-in-cheek hard time, too?

Okay, who taught Dave about tinyurl? The only way I didn't fall for these things before was by checking the addy first.

Yes, he got me too.

Hmmm...I truly thought Art had gone to the big blog in the sky. I still think Meanie should be punished...maybe make him spend purgatorial time in New Jersey.

Thank you Annie for explaining my remark to Meanie (not to be called "Blue" by me for a while).
I raced over to the Wash.Post to see...

Meanie, have you been reading his columns written from his hospice bed? Please answer through Annie as I'm not speaking to you for an hour or so because you scared me.

OK, obviously it was my stupidity for not recognizing what folks might think by my ill-chosen words. Apologies to Art and Art fans everywhere. And to Dave for putting stupidity on his blog.

And just so no one thinks anything further, this was not intended as any kind of evil April Fool's joke. I was riffing on the Art-bound-for-heaven thing from yesterday just as a way to rib Dave for his hideous link.

Intended to be funny at Dave's expense, not Art's, and I missed that altogether.

Dear God, I'll be seeing that as I try to sleep because it is BURNED TO MY RETINAS. GAH.

We all choose the wrong words now and then. Blue, your reverence for Mr. Buchwald is evident in the heartfelt comments you added to that thread.

Nothin' to see here, folks.

And thanks to those who cared enough to call me on it, as I would have not had a clue as to what I'd done without you.

Psst....Meanie...*I* thought it was funny, and didn't infer that our beloved Art had departed.

Not altogether correct, I'm afraid, KDF, on the nothing-to-see-here take. A good illustration of the power of words and the responsibility to be careful. Thanks for sticking up for me, but I deserved the hits.

*Goes to corner, sucks on Blankie*
*Prays for another post*

Well, okay then.

*kicks Blue, in solidarity regarding the power of well-chosen / not so well-chosen words, and just to make him feel better*

You always know how to say just the right things, KDF.

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