A POLL OF MARRIED COUPLES

If Dr. Cresswell's exploration is successful, there will be no need for compromise.

Agree ______

Disagree _____

(Thanks to Mollenkamp)

Comments

[Scott]

I've learned to agree that my wife is right all of the time, and I'm not backing down from that position after 14 years of marriage, darn it!

[Chris]

Dang, all this time I thought the secret to a successful marriage was "Yes, dear."

[Olo Baggins of Bywater]

You're right.
I'm wrong.

So far (23 years) so good.

[Meanie the Blue]

"Boggins."

*Very close to "Boogers", actually. Is that the Australian version?*

[Meanie the Blue]

Well, it's "Boffins", not "Boggins", but.....

*Opens another beer*

[KDF]

Wow, that last paragraph came out of nowhere:

Dr Cresswell will explore this theory, and whether there is a formula for the perfect orgasm...

I believe there is a strong correlation between these two topics.

[Musically Challenged]

Disagree - Married 30 years. My wife will not compromise on anything. I just give in to stop the fights. 30 years of pure misery. But the kids will be gone soon and I will be free to leave. Can't wait.

[mathmom]

bof·fin also Bof·fin P Pronunciation Key (bfn)
n. Chiefly British Slang
A scientist, especially one engaged in research.

And why is a mathematician giving marriage counseling advice? I mean, I know that mathematicians are smart and all...

(hee hee!)

[Ford79]

In the search for the perfect orgasm, I'm willing to be a-boffin.

[djtonyb]

Dr Cresswell will explore this theory, and whether there is a formula for the perfect orgasm..."

There is. Unfortunately, it does not involve your partner.

[mathmom]

And I wonder of the "formula for a perfect orgasm" will motivate students to learn their math!

[CoastRaven]

Wife - "I want a divorce"

Husband - "No you don't"

Wife - "That's why I love you honey!"

[Meanie the Blue]

Perfect formula available here! Money-back guarantee! Batteries not included (though optional).

[mudstuffin]

I think the stealth bloggerette's query was in reference to the "perfect orgasm" part of the article, making the question a funny joke - like if we were to have "perfect orgasms" when we had sex, we would not fight with our spouse. Ha ha!

Secondly, Scott, Chris, Olo and M.C.: y'all are just a bunch of cynics! Cynical, cynical cynical!

("Yes Dear. Just answering some email Dear. Right away Dear.")

Gotta go. Bye.

[mudstuffin]

oh, yeah - mathmom: I didn't think mathmeticians had sex.

[insomniac]

Is there a 'Mr.' Cresswell? (I'm guessing Clio is female being named after a muse and all) is he helping with the perfect orgasm formula?

(yes ,she is)

and then there'll be the arguments on whether the orgasm was perfect or not...

[TC]

OK, if you just agree to disagree, then how do you know who won?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I agree. (I'll just leave it at that.)

[John T.]

I'm away from home right now, so yesterday, I was looking for a good radio station. I ended up mesmerized by a hip-hop song where a guy was telling his girl that he's sorry he makes her mad all of the time. He can't help himself, because she's just so sexy when she's angry. Maybe that applies here...

Him: "Have I told you those jeans make you look fat?"

Her: "What?!"

Him: "Oh, yeah, baby. Let's get it on."

OK, maybe it doesn't apply here, but I thought it was so goofy, I had to mention it.

[Mikey]

John,

You are more likely to end up in intensive care than in a sexual situation.

[mathmom]

mudstuffin--

of COURSE mathematicians have s*x--and not just for multiplying--they make it count!

[Suzy Q]

I will agree that searching for a perfect orgasm is an admirable, if possibly unattainable, goal. But, ya gotta keep trying!

[Eccentrica Gallumbits, The Triple Breasted Whore of Eroticon 6]

Perfect orgasms... getcher perfect orgasms here!

[Brainy Jello]

I don't see how a marriage can last unless it has two very stubborn people.

[KDF]

I second what Brainy Jello says (whose initials are quite apropos and a coded partial answer to Dr. Cresswell's second exploration, IYKWIM.)

[KDF]

And Mud's 11:00 comment? *SNORK*

[Meanie the Blue]

Let's see....Bass Jamming? Brick Juggling?, um.....

*Aside: wonders where Leetie is.......*

[monkey butt]

POOOOOOPPPPPPYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats the perfect orgasm poooppppppp

[insomniac]

and 'dr. clio cresswell' = 'scold? ill screwer!'

[Bill]

KDF--Actually, the full sentence reads: "Dr Cresswell will explore this theory, and whether there is a formula for the perfect orgasm next month in a free public lecture as part of the 2006 Sydney Science Forum on May 17."

Frankly, I wouldn't want to have an orgasm next month in a free public lecture, but I'm a private kinda guy.

[Numb3rs]

*chalk on board* *clickety* *clackety* *clickety* *clackety*

OMGWTFBBQ! I FOUND THE FORMULA! OOOooo, Yee-a-h...

[queensbee]

I say: Splunge.

[KDF]

Bill - what sorts of visual aids and demos do you suppose will they be using to enhance that lecture? That's gonna be one wild Science Forum!

[Hullabaloo]

Agree? Disagree? What was the question, again?

26 years and counting. Both stubborn. Plenty of disagreements, large and small. Found the formula - not sharing, find it yourself. Marriage better than ever. Two of three children out of the house and self-supporting, one to go. Not sure what correlatins to make.
Whoop!

[Hullabaloo]

Sorry - correlations.

[Russell]

Perfect orgasm??? of all the grail quests.....

I know, I'll write a novel suggesting that the secret to the PO is found hidden in the texts written by a mysterious fellow named Barry....hmmmm....and the artwork of someone named Brandon Bird ... Dan Brown, move on over....

[MrToad]

After some 20 years of married more-or-less bliss, I have to agree with the esteemed doctor: It's very important that you and your wife 'agree to disagree' on important issues. Don't give in on your strongly-held positions simply to avoid marital strife! Stick to your guns! Just, whatever you do, Do Not Ever give her even a _hint_ that you don't agree with her completely. It's crucial that you have your own opinions - just keep them strictly to yourself.
This obviously does not apply in any way to wives (not that I'd want it too, of course - without the periodic uproar, there'd be no wild, enthusiastic, and most importantly guilt-driven making-up process)

[AFKAT]

I long ago acknowledged that I lack the ability to have independent thought...it just makes her so darn happy. And it has resulted in 14 years of perfect marital bliss...and 14 out of 32 ain't half bad...

[Rocket]

Interesting. I've only been married 8 years, but we disagree on lots of things, and I don't think either of us has a problem with that. We don't fight either. I don't care if he disagrees with me.

[Sean]

Will there be a visual aid to go along with the disscussion?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sean, yes, however there is a 3 drink minimum.

[Sean]

Annie, I'll start now..Drinking, that is..

[Cheesewiz]

Somehow, She who must be disobeyed just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[Alex]

Dr. Cresswell is a genius. There would be no more abusive relationships...

HUSBAND: Honey, why are you so fat? Get some **** exercise already!

WIFE: Hey, at least the house is clean and we have money. When are you getting off unemployment?

HUSBAND: Aw, no, you didn't just go there!

WIFE: Yes I did!

HUSBAND: Oh, no you didn't!

WIFE: Yes I just did!

HUSBAND: I got an idea. Let's go give each other the perfect orgasm and we'll forget about all this!

[Somewhere North]

The best advice I got was from my brother (a guy) who said "Why are you arguing with him? Just cry and he'll do whatever you want."

Maybe that is fighting dirty, but Rumsfield fights dirty and look where it got him...

[Betsy]

DJTony...*Snork*

[Bill]

KDF--and how often does this even come up (you should pardon the expression)? I mean, if you can only have the perfect orgasm next month in a free public lecture as part of the 2006 Sydney Science Forum on May 17, do we really need to understand the formula?

[insomniac]

("The Impossible Dream")

To scream the unstoppable scream
To bite to increase the blood flow
To plow an unquenchable furrow
To last while we rock to and fro
(It might take some practice ,you know.)
To love,though we're chased from our car.
To try, though I'm out of V***ra
To reach the unreachable "O"!

This is my quest my je ne sais quoi
To give students a reason to take algebra
To write on the board
Amidst xs and ys
A magical form'la
To open your thighs!

And the world will be better for this
That one man, tired and covered with chalk
Still chose, with his last ounce of manhood
To reach the unreachable "O"!!

[Annie Where-but-here]

"O"de to Insom -

The perfect "O" is not a dream
The perfect "O" can make you scream
While it is not unreachable
It may be quite unteachable
Without an awesome head of steam.

[mudstuffin]

haiku:

to reach perfect "O"
the sound of one hand clapping
if you get my drift

a Quixotic quest
worthy of it's own theme song
I snork at insom

must find formula
with the writhing and screaming
and hoiven-glaven

[mudstuffin]

to satisfy any young maiden,
this formula's surely worth savin'
take X multiplied
by the square root of pi
and divided by hoiven-glaven

[Hanna]

Methinks Dr. Gray had some good ideas. He says men's feelings are like a rubber band (pull away, snap back) while women's are more like wave on the ocean (ebb and flow). Different, but similar.

The trick to staying married a long time is to somehow get through the times when he is pulled as far back as possible, and the tide is OUT. Those mornings when you wake up next to the other and say "What in the H*** was I thinking?"

Then after a while, things snap back into place, and the relationship thrives again. And striving for perfect O's can be a journey, not a destination.

I will now hand the podium over... Speech over.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Last time I checked, the ocean tide could whoop ass on a rubber band.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

I am more awestruck than usual that insom could so beautifully work the phrase je ne sais quoi into his poem/song.

*applauds wildly*

[TC]

Somewhere North has,unfortunatly, hit the nail on the head - we can argue and disagree, sure - but then they cry - and we just can't handle that - so what do we do?

anything to stop the cryin'

it's so, so unfair

[TC]

and it's worse than that - it's doubly unfair, cuz we can't do it back - if we cried, they would just say:

geez - you are such a girl

and they'd still win

[Annie Where-but-here]

Tiny, quit crying in your beer. You're such a guy.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Or, if you prefer - Teeny, quit yer bellyachin' and be a man!

[TC]

HEY!

I wasn't cryin'in the beer - that'd dilute it - heaven forbid

[Annie Where-but-here]

Then that must be MY beer.....sniff...sniffle.... whimper

[TC]

*looks longingly at the icey cold beer he was just gonna crack open*

*looks at Annie's teary eyes*

*looks back at the as of yet unopened beer*

*looks again at Annie's teary eyes, and that one, solitary tear just startin' to roll down her cheek*

*sighs*

*hands Annie the icey cold beer, still unopened*

[Annie Where-but-here]

VICTORY IS OURS! (AND SO'S THE BEER!) WOO-HOO!

*grabs beer to go watch Yankee game*

Hey, where are the chips?

[TC]

*snork*

chicks - give 'em your last beer, and what do they do? they ask where the frickin' chips are

we're doomed I tell ya

(the yanks are gonna lose by 2 runs - just so ya know)

[KDF]

Hey Tippy, since you're going on a beer run, could you pick up some salsa on your way back? Thanks, sweetie.

[TC]

hmmmm

I could pick up some salsa - but what's in it for me?

oh man - you're not gonna cry are ya?

[OOOOooooooohhhhh the U(manity)]

Well, I dunno about "perfect" ... but the worst I ever had was pretty much of the fantastic type ... merely (OOOOOooooooohhhh) sayin' ...

[KDF]

Tory, what's in it for you? One ticket to the 2006 Sydney Science Forum on May 17. I hear they're doing demos.

[TC]

*snork*

like I need a demo

if you're lookin' for the perfect orgasm, I know the secret - I can't tell ya what it is, it's one of those things that requires demonstration

so, the question is - how bad do you want to know the secret?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Waiter, check please!
btw, Teensy - Yanks won - 4-1. Keep your deja vu job.
btw(2) - I don't need a demo - just got back with fresh batteries and beer for my horses. :)

[TC]

well, before you give that beer to your horses - I think you owe me one

[bulldog]

perfect orgasm WBAGNFARB

(sorry to make comment #70, the previous total
seemed more appropriate for the topic)

[John]

"Writers, by trade, are a solitary lot. That is, unless it’s April."

What, is that mating season for writers?

[John]

whoops, that was for the LA post. Still, question stands

[Annie Where-but-here]

The question stands. Since it's April, I, however, do not. ;)

[KDF]

Tiny, why so shy? And, without delving too much further into the ever deepening circle of He!! that is this thread, I will simply say...

I know the secret.

'Nuff said.

[KDF]

What, is that mating season for writers?
Posted by: John | 12:13 AM on April 28, 2006

John, apparently. Yes.

[Article]

I agree