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March 16, 2006


I thought we were going to strumpet in Scotland today, because that's what Ridley told me. But instead we were in Birmingham, which -- according to local residents, who seemed knowledgeable -- is in fact a city in England. There we spoke to 240 ten-year-olds, who managed to hold fairly still for an hour. We were very impressed. In the U.S., that would not have happened without the use of tranquilizer darts.

Anyway, it was fun, and now we are off to London again, at least according to Ridley. Which means we will  probably wind up in Norway.


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Ridley is a guys guy. He doesnt need directions to know where he is going.

Birmingham, huh?

Judi, Mr. Blog is in Alabama and will probably be back tomorrow. Better clean the office, STAT!

Norway? That reminds me of an old song...
"Spam, spam, spam, spam...."

Does it really matter exactly where you are, Dave? Get out there and strumpet, dammit!

Could it be that you neglected to nip up the wickershams? I seem to recall that Scotland was up that way, the last time I asked for directions in the UK.

Then again, the gent who helped me out tossed me a bit of a curve ball -- I never was able to find the first landmark he mentioned. I think it was called "bloody yanks".

'bloody yanks' could be the title of the serial killer-meets-Daytona prostitute movie...

I asked my Norwegian flatmate if Norway was a good place to strumpet.

Her reply was a suspicious, "What do you mean, strumpet?

Dave, in honor of All Willy-Nilly Week, I'm tossing back a Guiness for you and Ridley. And watch yourself; them Alabamanese are tricky.

Dave - while you were therre with the kids, did you happen to bite any of them in the back?

Dave, if you do find yourself in Scotland, would you please bring me back a nice phlegmatic lad with a strong Scottish burr?

Tamara, wouldn't your phlegmatic lad always be coughing and spitting all over the place? Yuck.

Dave - considering THIS, I recommend that if you are in Norway you do not mention the English. Conversely, ixnay on the Orse-Nay when in Brittania.

Key quote: "The Chronicles tell us that Normandy was founded by a Danish fleet lead by a Norwegian called Hrof Ganger at the time of the French king, Charles the Stupid."

Dave, where's a CrapCam shot of the 240 10 year olds? And what did you and Ridley wear to amuse them? Did you bring Barney with you?

I hate to say this to you Dave, but better journalism requires more facts. :) Love ya!

p.s. Yes, I know about the Pulitzer. Anyone can have an off day, and what with all the jet lag, etc. :-)

*snork* at El!

I'm with Tamara...make that two nice phlegmatic lads, please, Dave, one for Tamara and one for me.
She wants a Scottish burr (I think that's a haircut), I'd prefer a pip from Oxford.

(what?...you mean this isn't the 'order your favorite British lad' site?...oops!...sorry...slinking away)

The kids were just waiting for you to say "Booger!"

Dave, obviously you can't trust geography lessons from someone with two last names.

Silly, Annie. You mean "Crusty Dragon!".

ach! that close to edinburgh and you didn't stop in to see lord g, sir? ;)

FYI, i updated the "Tuesday's update" thread with the podcast link.

Sir? Did Dave get knighted whilst there?

Aren't all European countries the same? Lots of foreign type people running around talking in weird languages (especially the British)...

And most of them drink warm beer. What's that all about?

No, but he got 'Dayzed.' It's a lesser-known ceremony where instead of placing the sword on each shoulder of the receiver, they whack him over the head with it.

Why does 'Sir Ridley' sound so much more regal than 'Sir Dave?' Crusty dragon!

sly-That's kind of a personal question.

*Disclaimer: This comment is intended for humor purposes only and in no way reflects a lack of integrity on the part of The Blog.*

Ooo, Clark, don't knock it until you've tried it. That stuff is good.

Disclaimer: Do not attempt with bottled beer.

*Snork* @ Lisa

Here, have the rest of my Chill-edrin™.


*accepts Chill-edrin(TM thingy) from KDF gracefully then searches old threads to remember what they are*

Clark - don't listen to her - if God had meant beer to be drunk warm, than He wouldn't of given us fridges, now would He?

besides, what do chicks know about beer anyway?

Trent, it doesn't work with Icehouse.

*sneaks up behind TCK and paints a bullseye on his back*

Git 'im, girls!

*hi-fives djtonyb*

*takes one giant step away from TCK to stay out of the line of fire...*

That's because the children of England grew up on old reruns of DR.Who, while American kids got Barney. They also go into telephone booths and disappear for years at a time.

Their parents think they are at school.

dont forget to have some banger and mash when youre up there in the midlands.

Oh dear. If you are in Norway and it was founded by a someone from Denmark, do NOT make jokes. You could set off another international incident and frankly, I'm just settling back into complaicency from the last one.

My mother is from the Guinness clan of Eire. Because they make beer, they're considered royalty. That's what chicks know about beer, Tiny.

This time send TCK to the henhouse instead of the doghouse!

Lisa, the blog has integrity. When did that start? Why didn't I get the memo.

I'm going to have to rethink some of my recent posts.

And T-bone has his Ice handed to him.

*Snort* @ Annie for "Tiny"

Hey, Teensy, the little lady knows the path from the fridge to your recliner, right? And she knows how to fetch, right? Just so's you survive to be our whippin' boy another day, make sure she doesn't open the beer for you. 'Cause you can't taste cyanide in beer. Cheers!

*snork* at KDF!

Deon-Yeah, I think he’s got it. He just keeps it hidden in the interest of literary freedom.

Blue-I shall return thy *snork* in kind.

While you're in Norway, you can investigate the pipes at the Gunderson household.

The children were fascinated by the Americans. I dated a bloke from London, and he told me that the British are secretly obsessed with Americans because everything here is so much BIGGER.

This only further exemplifies the fact that America is run by men.

Just try to get 240 American adults to sit still for an hour... I dare ya!
* A true American would take that dare, too.

And KDF has her SNORK handed to her.

pssst, Daisy....don't snort at u-no-who. She's dangerous when riled

Annie - the "little lady" that most often fetches my beer is only 7 - not old enuff to be corrupted by the likes of you - and she probably can't even say cyanide (all of her front teeth decided to fall out at the same time, so she talks funny just now)

Thanks, Annie, but I stole the joke from Blue (see end of Tambien thread.) When he was a kinderbloglit, he got an A in sharing.

*flutters eyelashes*

Meanie - I thought a *snork* was an appreciation of another blogits humor, No? Why would anybody be offended at being apprecited?

make that "appreciated"

KDF-While searching for the true meaning of Chill-edrine(TM thingy), I came across your announcement on the Martha Stewart thread regarding the "frozen banana and I'm with Stupid" post.

Let me just say I was not offended--just distracted for a few days by work. And, I love you too in a girlfriendy (thinks you're a great writer) kind of way.

but daisy - methinks Meanie is meanin that you sed *snort* ... thats a whole other animal.

Blue -- I just saw that I typoed 'snork'.

Sorry Annie, my inner editor is asleep. It was meant to be a *snork* in appreciation of your aside to "Tiny."

Thanks for the heads up, Blue.

Thanks, CR. I went back and read what I wrote...imagine my surprise seeing the 'snort'. I may have to go back to drinking coffee, since I don't seem to be doing too well without it. No telling what would issue forth from my nimble fingers if I were drinking beer.

Thats ok daisy - if she asks, tell her you were offerin her a *snort* of whiskey - that'll be acceptable

We are a full-service blog. Yer welcome.

Lisa, aw shucks. And stop, you're embarrassing me!

Your 12:53 disclaimer just got even funnier, because now I think you're psychic, and I love you even more.

*cracks open an icehouse and leans back to wait and see if this is gonna develop into a chick make-out session*

I still say put TCK in the henhouse, so he can see what 'chick's know about beer. (If Annie's post didn't clear that up...)

KDF-I know! "Great minds" and all that...

Oh, Tory. I so gave you that one.

*rolls eyes*

daisy: being related to somebody that used to make beer doesn't impress me - my granpa bill made killer moonshine, but that does not make me a moonshiner

pssst, Daisy, he likes the henhouse. That's where the chicks are.

daisymae - I kinda liked the *snort* - your heart was in the right place, if not your fingers on your keyboard.
KDF - still, good use of a 'borrowed' joke, and how kind of you to reference the comic auteur.

Is it too early for a few margaritas with my ever-so-wonderful girlfriends?

Nah - no tranquilizer darts required cuz the kids were so, um, well-behaved because they were reared with the saying, "Mind your 'P's and 'Q's." By the by . . . a bit of English folklorish trivia fer Mr. Blog and The Ridley (great book title!) to ponder:

In downtown prehistoric England, before it was even swinging with the pendulums -- ale was served at taverns out of a tankard. A chap was charged by the angle of his elbow ... half-way up... you wanted a pint, all the way up... you wanted a quart. Since the QUART cost so much more than the PINT, you were warned to "Mind your P's & Q's"

So Dave, puleeeze, watch yours and (now that you know the body posturing) don't order with both elbows all the way up, lest you be mistaken for Georgia's Big Chicken with Bird Flu and get squashed by a large purple dinosaur in heat.

*walks away and ponders macabre visual imagery*

Annie - My blog clock says 2:11. Never too early!

Annie-I'm up for Margaritas!

for the posse!

southerngirl - those are gorgeous! They'll look even better empty!

Dave, if you do find yourself in Scotland, would you please bring me back a nice phlegmatic lad with a strong Scottish burr?
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | 12:05 PM on March 16, 2006

Very humorous, Tamara.

Dave - Follow Ridley! Isn't Norway where last weekend some bar accidentally hooked up their upstairs tentant's water pipes to the beer lines??
It didn't get fixed til the following Monday....mmm....beer showers!!!

And if anyone already mentioned this, I apologize . I have not read this thread (oh, I Rhymed! Sorry, damn ADHD) Um, I didn't read it because I'm in a hurry to get my 4 yr old to ballet. So, g'bye!

Annie, and we'll feel better!

I would say Denmark might be funner for him. Punkin Poo

So Dave is strumpeting in England, Scotland and Ireland? What did WALES do to p*ss you off, Dave? Cardiff not good enough for you?

Paging Terrance, hey pal you still around?

Ya know, s'girl and I were talkin' last night about one thing and another and - well, your nam - no, I better not tell.

s'girl, should we, or not? :)

Does he even answer to Terrence?

Tiny! Here, Tiny, Tiny, Tiny!

I will answer to Terrance - I will not answer to Tiny

(or did I just - doh!)

OK, I might answer to Tiny, but only from a southern california cowgirl goddess

Wait S'Girl is a Goddess?

Which religion? Does Zues still run the patent office or was that turned into anothers job? Bill Still rule?

actually, Annie is the southern california cowgirl goddess - southerngirl is neither from southern california, nor is she a cowgirl

southerngirl is, IMHO, a south louisiana cajun goddess

Gee so many different denominations.

Am I too late for a margarita?


No. Here you go.
"Hello I am margarita."

stake will mistery unconditionally: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/ when slot expect cosmos lose , lose give increase - that is all that TV is capable of

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