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March 29, 2006


So now, all of a sudden, clawing an Avon lady is "crazy"?

(Thanks to everyone)


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I'm "everyone" AND first! Yay!

I hear they named the cat Claude.


A person can have catlike stealth, but can a cat? Its not catlike if you are a cat, its just cat. I mean, we wouldn't say, for example, that some perosn has "human strength."

Dang - not first. Oh, well. Ummmmm...how about a shovel to the cat's head? I love animals, but SIX CLAWS on each foot??? Demon spawn, I tell ya

*ding-dong* "Avon calling"

"Yeah, do you have any of that make-up that covers up long disfiguring lacerations, that are possibly infected?"


"Sic 'em, Lewis!!!"

This is one of those that I saw earlier today, and said to myself
"Self" I said (thats what I call myself) "I am quite sure that the rest of the world has already sent word of this vicious mutant to Dave and judi"

Thanx for not letting me down.

*snork* at insomniac and CoastRaven!

And so it begins. . . the animals take revenge for all that cosmetics testing. Just wait till the bunnies born with smear-proof lipstick show up.

This looks like a job for...

The Mary Kay Commandos.

Berke Breathed. I miss Bloom County.

"So I hear they finally caught that cat that was running around eating children and shooting puppies."

"Yeah, they put it on house arrest."

"What about the owner?"

"The villagers drug her out in the street and beat her with a shovel."

"Ah. Good, good."

so He looked like this.

Felix the cat

As the proud (and sometimes a little scared) owner of a bona fide psycho ninja killer cat myself, I would tell all those people the same thing I tell my neighbors (who also live in terror)...

You will be fine as long as you don't do anything to set Bella (that's my monster's name) off. Like walking anywhere near her, making noise of any kind (like breathing in and out... she hates that) or looking in her direction (which she apparently considers rude).

Once my neighbors understood that, the maimings and killings have been reduced to only one or two a week. No need for a restraining order at all...

Coast - that's what everyone calls me! Are we related?

Or are you just pretending to yourself that you are me?

My male Ragdoll comes out of his coma every morning at 6:30 to remind me it's time for breakfast. His breakfast.

I am so hoping that you are still talking about a cat.

Ragdoll is one of my favorite breeds. :)

Still, *SNORK* @ ASK!

*SNORK*@ASK (still talking about a cat)

as an aside to ASK - I am constantly pretending to my self that I am someone else - That way I don't have to confess the sin of m@sturbation to the priest on Sunday.

*Still snorking, wiping away tears*

we too have a psycho that has been named Cricket. She wakes my wife up at four thirty am every morning for breakfast. Even on our days off. Our former kitty Kimba used to wake me up for breakfast by lying across my mouth and nose. It was cute once.

Cricket is grey

I just want to clarify that Kimba was lost to Cancer, not because he liked to lie across my face. I just realised it sounded like I killed him.
We had him for almost 14 years.

"Animal Control Officer Rachel Solveira placed a restraining order on him. It was the first time such an action was taken against a cat in Fairfield."

It's been done else where?

Too late, S_p_j_g. You are SO busted.

I guess my wife and I shouldn' be picking up our new kitten tomorrow from the Plymouth shelter.

Oh my GAWD, you killed Cricket too?

*dials 411 in search of number for Plymouth Animal Shelter*

Jeezely ... I know they quit making Plymouths a few years ago, which makes them "orphans" in the auto world, but now they've got a shelter for the homeless ones?

I actually saw this cat on television last night, and noted his behavior carefully, because I just KNEW he'd turn up on the blog today.
He appeared WAY fuzzier than Felix, and therefore probably well able to carry any number of concealed daggers, epees, switchblades, and piano wire about his person.
My cats, I'm proud to say, have never been busted for anything other than an occasional misdemeanor; and they've never been convicted. (Of course, they have a top-notch legal team.)

No, we are getting the new kitten because cricket is lonely.

yeah, well, he's only really dangerous if he also happens to be *this* cat:


(i hope that's the whole link--tho' it's a pretty big freakin' cat, so, y'know...)

*hangs head in shame*

i'm baffled as to why anyone would continue to feed and house a cat that woke them every day at 4:30 a.m.

at the very least, that animal would be outside, the 2nd day it tried that sh..

Sometimes when you are around cats, you begin to wonder if perhaps they are more intellegent than you are. Then they do something stupid and you feel a lot better. An example:

Last week I visited the Akron (Ohio) Zoo for the first time in many years. Since I had last been there, they had added many animals, including a pair of snow leopards. The enclosure they were in was glass on three sides, with a stone 'cliff' making up the back wall. Directly next to this enclosure, and sharing a glass wall with it, was the enclosure for the Himalayan tahrs, a kind of mountain goat that is the leopard's main food supply in the wild. When I approached the cage, the leopards were up on top of the 'cliff' at the back of the cage. In the cage next door, a Tahr sauntered up to the glass partition between the cages as started chewing its cud. The male leopard stood up, sauntered along the back wall, moving away from the tahr, then hopped down to ground level at the opposite end of the enclosure. He crawled on his belly about three quarters of the way back towards the tahr. The tarh continued to chew. He crouched down, and tensed up. The tahr blinked lazily. His tail twitched slightly. The tahr belched. Then, with terrifying speed, the leopard leapt the fifteen feet separating itself and its target and, *WUMP*, slammed into the glass barrier face first, and HARD. As the leopard recovered itself and began scratching maddly at the barrier, the tahr, completely unphased, turned around, pressed his hindquarters against the glass, and let out a long burst of flatus. I swear I am not making this up. (If you doubt, e-mail me and I'll send you the picture). I talked to one of the employees, and evidently the male leopard does this at least once a week. The female just sits up on her rock and watches, smirking.

I've always found that clawing an Avon lady is a good thing... oh wait, that was her clawing me :-p


ASK, I'm not sure about what you said. I think of you as having human humo(u)r.

Forget it, it was a lot of posts ago.

I guess I'm the only person who's first reaction to "Clawing an Avon Lady" had to do with Edward Scissorhands...

I also have a grey cat that had her psycho moments when she was younger but she is ancient now - has always been my favorite cat though. We've also had three orange female tabbys (still have two). Sweetest and most intelligent animals on earth. But they rule the house - they just let us live here and would probably charge us rent if they could.

My pets always make me feel stupid.

My first cat, Lucky, looked like a grey watermelon. I was convinced she had an eating disorder -- she thought she was starving to death. Any food left out...any food left out...she would break into (tear open bread wrappers, boxes of crackers, bags of cat food). Nothing was safe. She even learned to open the kitchen cupboard, pull out the drawer, open the Rubbermaid plastic container holding the catfood, and eat.

My cat, Boom, who has gotten fat this past year, wakes me every morning at 6:45 a.m. for breakfast (his). You can set your clock by it. When his girlfriend, Mona, lived with us, they would get on either side of me, and meow very softly until I woke up. Now that Mona is gone, Boom chews on the bedspread if I don't get up.

Don't even get me started about dogs.

Hey, y'all ... we've got a cute little wall plaque @ home that sums up a lot of whut's been said here ...

Dogs thing they are Human

Cats think they are God

El - just found it a little odd to decribe a cat as being "catlike." I mean, you are definitely something like a human, but I wouldn't go out of the way to point out that you are human-like.
Superhuman, maybe (he says, to avoid the trip to the house for dog-like people).

ASK, The Dolphins sent me a telepathic message to report here. May I say with all possible affection and also taking into consideration that I'm stilll a little sick that your answer makes about as much sense as my question.

Shall we continue beating this to death? :)

O. - in ancient Egypt cats were revered as gods, and they have never forgotten this.

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