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March 15, 2006

TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME

But not literally.

(Thanks to Kathy Dubin Flynn)

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Linky no worky!

(looks around)
First!

Drat! Foiled by the robot!
Second

Fed's right!

"The page you requested was not found."

*twiddles thumbs & waits around*

At Ease! Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

We'll have to just hang around here and post off-topic like we usually do, until we can get to the link and see what judi's talking about.

Meanwhile, I'll take a bite (well, several, actually) out of my lunch.

This is the Blog equivalent of waiting for the next bus

OK, it's gotta be THIS.

fixed now, thanks (again) to kathy

Watcha got, Mad?

(Wanna trade?)

*winks at Judi*

She bit a pupil?! Well if she's gonna bite the kid in the EYE she deserves to be fired!!

Quote of the day: "conduct unbecoming a teacher"

I didn't know there was such a thing.

Oh, for Pete's sake...don't just fire the crazy teacher, but also the moron who hired her. Sheesh!

Oooohhh..... a simul with judi! I'm on Cloud Nine!

I bet if she'd shot him in the thigh they wouldn't have done anything.

OK, lets guess:

I'm thinkin' "take a bite out of crime" would have to be the saga of a fearless crime fighter with a secret compulsion to actually eat the criminals. While our valiant hero is typically able to overcome his inner demons and turn captured evil-doers over to the proper authorities, his dark side eventually wins the day, upon which he blends up a coveniance store stick-up man and enjoys eating spreading him on toast for his breakfast.

um, or not I guess

GASP!

So, Ms. Flynn, how're those Chill-edrin™ workin' out for ya?

Wha???

daisymae asked "Watcha got, Mad? (Wanna trade?)"

What I got is an empty container. What I HAD was some nice leftover penne pasta to which I added some slices of leftover grilled pork chop. Unfortunately, no peanut butter, no crunchy frog, no pupils...

Caroline Kolb has pleaded not guilty to an aggravated assault charge for allegedly biting 14-year-old Garrick Hudson on the back during a classroom scuffle

So she didn't bite him, but there was still a scuffle. Does that mean the charge should be "calming assault"?

I knew they couldn't have gum in class, but candy too? No wonder they're failing all the standardized tests--teachers are focused on the wrong things!

*not to mention the fact that the school system is now hiring ex-roller derby queens as teachers*

Congrats KDF!

Kentucky, why did it have to be Kentucky?

new bumper sticker: "If you need a tetanus shot, thank a tecaher."

or even a 'teacher'... *sigh*

Why didn't they expel the darling little brat for disobeying a teacher?

I had a teacher once who would throw things like chalk or board erasers at students who were committing petty offences like passing notes or sleeping in class.
I was trying to sneak behind a book and make out with this girl in the back of the room and was rounding first when he threw a clock radio at us.
Inappropriate, but it solidified my status as class f*&kup, which was bragable.

*Loves KDF a bottle of Revive-enol™*

Don't you SEE Mr C?!? The STUDENT is the victim here. He shouldn’t have been ostracized and publicly embarrassed by being singled out. If the teacher would have respected the students privacy, and let him act on his own free will there never would have -- ah hell with it! I aint buyin it either - yeah kick the kid out!

OK, so he didn't spit out the candy. Why was the teacher so upset? Did she want the candy for herself!? Was she ticked because he took her favorite kind out of the assortment? Did she tell him previously she had dibs on the caramels? If it was caramels, he might not have been ABLE to spit it out, cuz it would have been stuck to his teeth, ESPECIALLY if he had braces! Poor journalism again! So many unanswered questions, and inquiring (but not very smart) minds want to know! Now we're going to have to wait until they get to court for the rest of the story™. That just makes me MAD!

The kid mighta been suspended had the teacher restrained herself from frickin' BITING him!

"If it was caramels, he might not have been ABLE to spit it out, cuz it would have been stuck to his teeth, ESPECIALLY if he had braces!"

*snork!*

The story leaves out some juicy details, like the fact that she keed him before she bit him. And that she denies biting him, but admitted to having fabric in her mouth during the incident. Gives new meaning to the word, "cotton mouth". Tee-hee.

Shoot, I meant "kneed." Although it doesn't say exactly where.

Fed - I think I had the same teacher. I will also never forget the nun-teachers I had in Catholic school, Sister Lefty and Sister Knuckles.

Coast - I stand in solidarity with you. I'm honored.

Mr. C - did they do the Good Nun/Bad Nun routine on you too, like mine did?

Good Nun/Bad Nun routine

Hel-loooo!

Meanie - There were good nuns?

All right, I take that back. My 2nd-grade teacher, Sister Anne Maureen, was a stone hottie.

And I shall never forget my weekend with the ex-nun who was making up for lost time... but I digress.

huh. Good Nun/Bad Nun sounds like some kind of whacked out Fox TV show. Or shomething that will replace Joey.

ACK! Mr C-- Change that to "ex-nun-wannabe" and you've got me checkin' to see if your name sounds familiar...

What's the problem?

Teacher: "you know there is no candy in class, spit it in the waste basket"

Student: "No! Make Me!"

Teacher: "I said SPIT IT OUT!"

Student: "NO!

Teacher: "NOW"

Student: "Get off me you crazy bitc... *&%*%^$ she bit me!!!!!"

Toss them both!

*offers Tamara her extra bottle of Chill-edrin™*

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

If the child won't spit, he must be bit!

See, in my day, the teacher would've clocked us one and our parents would have clocked us again when we got home.

That being said, I have taught my toddler not to bite by telling her I'll bite her back. Can I get fired? Does this mean I won't have to cook, clean or do laundry?

*SNORK-GUFFAW* @ Johnny C!

Jeez! It's getting now so you can't even discipline those damn kids!

*snork* at Johnny Cochran

Yeah - what happened to the good old days when you could tie a kid to the radiator and head off to work. THAT was livin!

Tamara RWC - Was that you?

Well in my Day we would wake up our kids. Kill them. Birng them back from the dead and use them as an undead household chore system. My those where the days. Kids aren't disciplined enough these days.
On the other hand we have had far fewer zombies.
Back to videogames.

(is anyone else thinkin' that maybe Alfred should cut back on the video games, just a little bit?)

Mr. C - Sister Lefty and Sister Knuckles? Did we go to school together?

And how about the b*tch (yes, a nun)in 5th grade who always called on me first after teaching something new in math, just cause my dad taught math, and who basically told me and the whole class that I was stupid, cuz even tho I was a straight A student in other classes, I sucked at math, and I shouldn't have, according to her, since my dad's a freakin' math teacher!, and...


KDF, can I have some of that Chill-edrin™*

*Express-loves a crate of Chill-edrin™ to Alfred*

What's mine is yours, s-girl.

pssst, and it makes the beer kick in faster ;)

PARTY!!!!!

thanx KDF! Are ya sendin' beer too? ;)

and I believe that was a simulpost with Toby, uh, Terrence, uh...TCK!

TCK will send the beer as soon as it blooms.

*Blurks at party window to see if Alfred has been restrained yet*

Alfred reminds me of a Deep Thought, by Jack Handey:

If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done--because you'd really be surprised...

Blue, no blurking. You're bringing the chips and Chill-edrin!™

I'm reminded of this.

*pulls up to the party, driving a schoolbus*

I brought the...! Oh.

Southerngirl, maybe we are twins. In my case it was my mother but despite medication, there will be forever embeded in my brain a memorable parent/teacher night where my math teacher started to cry saying "I don't understand her! She gets it one day and then not the next" and my mother just sat there going "I know, I know".

*zips in*

Hi gang, it's me! *waves at everyone*

The part of this story that I can't get past is they got into a scuffle - WTF??
After he'd been outside in the hallway for the whole period - huh? a scuffle - with a teacher.

I don't think we're talking about
Blackboard Jungle here.

Need more facts. (Which I used to use on my law school exams when I ran into a problem. Finally, in about my second year, one of the teachers wrote in the margin, Use the facts you have.
*snork*
end of that ploy.

Those darn homonyms.

*sets up bouncy house*

Mr. C - excellent selection.

Separated at birth: Somewhere North and Southerngirl? Did someone lose their compass at the hospital?

ooh - simulpost with southerngirl that was apparently so distractin' that she forgot my name

reason enuff to celebrate - I'll bring the beer, and that little somethin' I've been savin' up for a special occasion

KDF - easy on the Chill-edrin™, OK?

Weren't chill-edren what started the problems on this thread in the first place?

What? A girl can't throw a little party?

*sulks, agrees to treatment regimen*

*The doctor is in*

*and grinning*

S'North - Math Sucks. (sorry, Insom!)

I also had a nun for a teacher in 2nd grade (the worst school year I ever had) who'd slap my hand with a ruler cuz, according to her, I wasn't learning cursive writing fast enough. My mom went over there and straitened her out, tho.

I take pleasure knowing that if she saw my handwriting today, she be absolutely horrified.

heh heh heh

and my mom also straightened her out. :)

*terrified*

*yet grinning*

S-g: thank you for straightening that out. Couldn't read your handwriting there.

*jealous*

I'm sick, too! In the head! Severely!

psst...KDF...the "treatment regimen" involves a party, and lots of beer, and whatever TCK's bringing

*Dr. finds himself in sudden need of some Chill-edrin™ (for himself)*

*snork* at Meanie, the Blue!

*and grinning feverishly*

at first glance it looks like TRWC has a "tool in the head! Severely!"

You've just gotta help me, Dr Blue! *pouts*

*SNORK!!* @ CR!

Room 1: Patient no. 1 is lying down to relax before exam

Room 2: Patient no. 2 is looking at Rohrschach blots and writing down "Quack" for each figure.

Doctor is alternately downing Sam Adams' and Boddington's Best Bitters by the bucketful. And perspiring. Really perspiring.

Keep smilin Doc!

Weren't chill-edren what started the problems on this thread in the first place?

Posted by: CoastRaven | 02:37 PM on March 15, 2006

missed it the first time - *SNORK*

Erm. Nothin' worse than an under-confident, uh, doctor. Am I right, girls?

*slaps Dr Blue on the back* GO GET 'EM, TIGER!

*Prepares forceps for tool removal from head of Patient 1*

*Wait! Patient 2! Whew! That was close.*

I'm LTTG, as usual; and, as usual, want to say something about the original topic ^way ^up^there^, so I apologize for the interruption.
My mother is a retired teacher; my daughter has been teaching for 14 years; and I still have lots of friends who teach (or who ran screaming from the profession at the first opportunity.) Trust me, for every idiot teacher, there are probably fifty undisciplined loony and not infrequently psychotic students, a couple of wacked out principals, 25 insane parents (no one on THIS blog, though; I'm on HIS side), and a set of laws, regulations, and precedents that are designed to protect -- NOT the students; NOT the teachers; NOT the educational environment; but ONLY to shield the Board of Education from lawsuits.
So when a sixth grader pulls a gun in class (which happened to my daughter), you're supposed to exercise your professional demeanor and "bag of professional tricks" to disarm him. And periodically, in some neighborhoods, there's a set of sirens that go off, indicating a Community Violence alert, which means that the bullets are flying outside; and it's the teacher's duty to (a) calm the children (b) explain that they can't be released to go home at the usual time, but must wait til the all-clear, and (c) stand at the door of the classroom, facing the hallway, so that when they find your bullet-riddled body, it will be evidence that the school system did its best to protect the kids.
I'm not endorsing scuffling, biting, or kneeing; and I've had plenty of beefs with teachers over the years myownself -- just sayin', it isn't such a piece of cake as one might think.

*snork*

Actually, I'd like the tool to stay in, please.

P.S. Sorry. Rant over; you may resume the surgical procedure in progress.

*mops doctor's brow*

*makes appointment with plastic surgeon for scar removal*

Wait! He said Patient 2!

*cancels appointment with plastic surgeon*

*continues lying down to relax before exam*

*looks at watch*

*considers rescheduling appointment since doctor is taking forever*

Heh heh. He's been in my room.

Uh-oh.....

*Sink overflows with perspiration*

Tamara - Actually, I'd like the tool to stay in, please - if you had a nickel for every time you've said THAT, huh?

I believe we were in for different procedures.

Mr C -- *swoon!*

Tamara RWC - When you swooned, all these nickels fell out of your pocket...

;-)

*checks the clock*

*swallows hard*

Thirty minutes till my cold shower; can I make it?!

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