RESTAURANT REVIEW
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
WARNING: Some strong language. Funny, but strong.
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(Thanks to Claire Martin)
WARNING: Some strong language. Funny, but strong.
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So I guess the lesson learned here is that apparently the Chinese don't make sense to each other either. Their just pretending to communicate.
Posted by: Somewhere North | March 09, 2006 at 10:57 AM
Rurality salad with retchup on the side.
Posted by: MOTW | March 09, 2006 at 10:58 AM
I'll just have the cow nuts. And a long cocktail.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | March 09, 2006 at 11:00 AM
I need to rustle me up a filter lasso, and wrangle my way past the dern thang.
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 09, 2006 at 11:01 AM
"Color Hot Pepper Fries the Chicken"
...say it with me...
WBAGNFARB!
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 11:14 AM
KDF, The: I think it makes a better album title than band name. But yes, it is special.
Posted by: GDogg | March 09, 2006 at 11:18 AM
See now, that's teamwork. Thanks, GDogg. ;)
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 11:20 AM
FYI-Maybelline's newest waterproof mascara doesn't work.
Posted by: CAB | March 09, 2006 at 11:21 AM
OK, WebSense didn't like the page.
A little help, here! Maybe with some well-placed punctu@tion?
Then again, if it's served with recthup!
Posted by: Curious John | March 09, 2006 at 11:22 AM
There certainly seems to be a lot of sex going on at this restaurant, and not all of it concentual!
Posted by: yanya8 | March 09, 2006 at 11:23 AM
"J&J Large Intestine Pot?" Wow, Jimmy Walker's career is really in the dumper!
Posted by: bbescuela | March 09, 2006 at 11:25 AM
I had to stop reading after "retchup"
Laughing too hard
Posted by: Leetie | March 09, 2006 at 11:32 AM
i think they got the menu mixed up with the fortune cookie messages... and except for 'carbon burns' probably ="charcoal -broiled" it can't be decoded...
Posted by: insomniac | March 09, 2006 at 11:34 AM
Carbon burns fatty cow New Zealand
Well, now we know what happened to the cow in the last post.
Posted by: Jemmy | March 09, 2006 at 11:37 AM
Some gross stuff. Funny, but gross.
Posted by: Ramona | March 09, 2006 at 11:38 AM
"Yes, I'll have an order of the 1315: Slippery meat in king's vegetables in pillar."
"Excellent choice, sir. May I recommend a side of Big bowl flavor vegetable pig livings bowel?"
"You know it!"
Posted by: Federal Duck | March 09, 2006 at 11:44 AM
Ummmmm.... no thanks, I'm not hungry any more. With intestines (and the other assorted grossities) on the menu, RETCHup seems totally appropriate to me.
One thing for sure, we may not know what the heck 99% of the menu items are, but there sure are a LOT of 'em! Whatever THAT means...
Posted by: Mad Soap the Boxer | March 09, 2006 at 11:46 AM
Thanks Dave. Now excuse please while I retchup.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | March 09, 2006 at 11:47 AM
I'm not sure it really qualifies as language at all.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | March 09, 2006 at 11:49 AM
My my my -- so many choices on this menu, I don't know where to begin. One item, in particular, reminded me of an old adage:
"Better to have Slippery Meat in the King's Vegetables than in the Crown Jewels."
Posted by: herb | March 09, 2006 at 11:54 AM
John Candy said it best.....
[go here if link fails: http://www.geocities.com/yank2010/checkplz.wav ]
Posted by: Meanie, the Blue | March 09, 2006 at 12:03 PM
Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?
Yes, but they drive by and hand over their weapons.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | March 09, 2006 at 12:04 PM
all your italics are belong to us!
Posted by: Meanie, the Blue | March 09, 2006 at 12:05 PM
</i>
Posted by: Brainy Jello | March 09, 2006 at 12:05 PM
I thought item 1327 would be the blog's favorite:
"Fragrant spring onion sauce explodescow son"
Must be some good onions.
Posted by: KCSteve | March 09, 2006 at 12:09 PM
Susan, can you please play Let's Hear it for the Boys?
I was going to ask for Goin' to the Chapel, but you're playing it RIGHT NOW!!!
WTG, Susan!!!
Posted by: Eleanor, the frightened | March 09, 2006 at 12:15 PM
*snork* @ brainy... right on!
Posted by: Mad Soap the Boxer | March 09, 2006 at 12:16 PM
Eleanor, the Misthreaded ;-)
Posted by: Meanie, the Blue | March 09, 2006 at 12:17 PM
oops, wrong thread, wrong place, wrong time.
Please ignore above.
Posted by: Eleanor | March 09, 2006 at 12:18 PM
OK, they got cowboy leg, and cowboy meat, but what I was really hungry for was some cowgirl...
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 12:27 PM
Terrence~ Good luck getting any.
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 12:34 PM
Final Score:
Bumble - 1
Thaddeus - 0
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 12:38 PM
Well, that explains the missing cowhands from my state. The d*amn chinese are eating them !
Posted by: Texas | March 09, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Bumble - are you a cowgirl?
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 12:54 PM
"Eleanor, the Misthreaded"? - I knew she had some screws loose, but didnt know the bolts were stripped!
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 09, 2006 at 01:00 PM
gotta have that rurality salad with a side of redneck potatoes.
Posted by: queensbee | March 09, 2006 at 01:06 PM
El, please, we talked about this before - no stripping on the blog.
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 01:06 PM
*Exiting, stage left....quickly*
Posted by: Meanie, the Blue, who doesn't know that other guy | March 09, 2006 at 01:06 PM
You gotta wonder, English probably doesn't translate too well for them, either. Maybe that's why they laugh at the wrong time. NTTAWWT.
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 01:12 PM
Okay, I'm sitting here unable to breath because I'm laughing so hard. Coworkers are walking past staring at me! They probably think I've finally lost it.
I love the domestic life beef immerses cabbage. Maybe that is what my domestic life is missing cabbage & beef. Also, did you notice the sauces for steaks - sheet iron. Bet that will add a little fiber to your diet.
Posted by: Kat | March 09, 2006 at 01:16 PM
*wakes up*
Wha?? I didnt say that willingly!! I was forced psychicly to finish the thought... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IT WASN'T MY THOUGHT!!!!
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 09, 2006 at 01:17 PM
I lost it right about the time I got to "Cashew Not"
"black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date."
Heh heh...
At least I don't have mascara running down my face tho...
Posted by: Melissa | March 09, 2006 at 01:17 PM
KAT - enough cabbage and beef will force you to move to the fart thread... just sayin
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 09, 2006 at 01:19 PM
And of course - "You want flies with that?"
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 01:22 PM
I want the "cowboy leg beautiful pole". It sounds like it might go with the "F*ck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin" although I was not aware that ducks had chins or that you could do that to salt....
Posted by: Kathy P. | March 09, 2006 at 01:25 PM
*From secret undisclosed location*
CR - You may need that new identity after all.
*More roast quail, Mr. Cheney?*
Posted by: Meanie, the Blue, who doesn't know that other guy | March 09, 2006 at 01:26 PM
*SNORK* @ Annie and CoastRaven!
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 01:26 PM
Tobias~ Define "cowgirl."
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 01:29 PM
When you consider that "Coca Cola" means "Bite the wax tadpole" in Chinese,* you see the translation problems you're facing.
* I read that in a Dave Barry column. It must be true.
Posted by: Ford79 | March 09, 2006 at 01:34 PM
*ducks under the table*
She'll never recognize me now!
Posted by: ShoreCrow | March 09, 2006 at 01:37 PM
*zips in*
Hmmmmm, I see that CoastRaven has changed his name to "ShoreCrow". Identity crises (crisi?) abound on the DB blog. We may have to start group therapy.
*zips out*
Posted by: El-enough | March 09, 2006 at 01:41 PM
Hey, we didn't get a lunch-hour gross-out thread today! Or was this it?
Posted by: Tamara, With Camera, Rhymes | March 09, 2006 at 01:45 PM
bumble - it's not something that's easily defined - its part attitude and part wardrobe. It's a certain way of lookin' at things. It relates to your preferences - what kind of music you like, what kind of food you like, what kind of men you like, do ya drive a truck, or wish you did? Sometimes its geographical...
see? hard to define - tho I will say that it has nuthin' whatsoever to do with cows...
either way, if you don't know, then most likely you are not one
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 01:46 PM
Tell ya what Bumble - lesse how well ya ride, and I'll tell ya if yer a cowgirl.
;-)
Posted by: ShoreCrow | March 09, 2006 at 01:48 PM
A cowgirl is defined by how well she keeps her heels down....translate that any way you want.
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 01:52 PM
I'm a cowgirl. You know what's the one thing we cowgirls cannot stand? Rap music, and the musical "Rent"--The TWO things we cowgirls cannot stand are rap music and the musical "Rent", and coy ducks--AMONGST the THINGS... which...we cowgirls cannot stand are such diverse elements as rap music, the musical "Rent", coy ducks, and perms on school-age children...
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 09, 2006 at 01:55 PM
*sits back to await Bumble's no doubt scathing response to ShoreCrow, fka, oh I forget...*
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 01:55 PM
ooh, a simul w/Tamera whilst talking about ducks....
wait, what the hell does that mean?
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 01:56 PM
El, you're just entirely too sensitive to names. I mean, a fart by any other name..... er, something...
Posted by: Soap the Mad Boxer | March 09, 2006 at 01:57 PM
TAMARA
I didn't mean it, really!
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 01:57 PM
Tamara, I certainly didn't expect the Chinese Inquisition!
Posted by: Ken | March 09, 2006 at 02:00 PM
S-girl: I was wonderin... ;)
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 09, 2006 at 02:02 PM
...and phony cowboys. We hate phony cowboys.
....why are there ducks under the table?
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 02:12 PM
*replies scathingly to Shorecrow*
And I don't like rap or Rent, but I still don't think I'm a cowgirl. I do enjoy horseback riding, but I don't get to do it as often as I'd like, living in northern Indiana. There's a riding trail place up here called Crooked Creek; I've been up there a few times. It's fun, but it always leaves me a little saddle-sore.
*exits and waits for the boys to start making dirty jokes so she can lock them in the doghouse*
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Annie, do you like this kind of cowboy?
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 02:26 PM
southerngirl - that's not a cowboy
These are cowboys
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 02:36 PM
Travis, that was so sweet of you! That looks just like my first horse, a fleabit grey that used to try to toss me any chance she got. I sure miss her. Oh, and the kids are cute, too.
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Awwwww!
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 09, 2006 at 02:40 PM
S-girl - sorry. I go more for the "Ma'am" and "Darlin'" type. I've always thought the sexiest cologne for a guy was a cross between Absorbine and Murphy's Oil Soap.
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 02:41 PM
Ken - No one expects the Chinese Inquisition. I mean that. Really.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | March 09, 2006 at 02:42 PM
I am curious how southerngirl found that picture tho - I'm thinkin' she googled "naked cowboys", but that would just be a theory
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 02:44 PM
I din't see the "Sheepherder Special" on that menu, either ... merely sayin' ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | March 09, 2006 at 02:44 PM
lookout ladies, TCK's trying to be sweet - that could only lead to trouble.
And, btw, TCK, I do notogle naked cowboys.
oops, you said google!
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 03:11 PM
This is my kind of cowboy - you know the song, Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy!
And I love RENT - saw it on Broadway and bought the movie DVD the FIRST day it came out. :)
Posted by: El-enough | March 09, 2006 at 03:14 PM
and Annie, just kiddin' - you can have your cowboys anyway you like 'em.
And I, personally, am not interested in cowboys. I prefer "wild-eyed southern boys."
Although a "northern boy" might not be so bad, either! ;)
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 03:14 PM
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy!
Yes! Thanks, El - that's what I was tryin' to find to send to Annie!
and Kid Rock - who'da thought!
Posted by: southerngirl | March 09, 2006 at 03:16 PM
Sometimes cowgirls mistakenly claim to despise the musical "Rent" when they mean to say they absolutely freaking ABHOR the soundtrack to the musical-comedy "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels".
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 09, 2006 at 03:20 PM
TCK sez, "southerngirl - that's not a cowboy
These are cowboys"
I hate to be the one to tell you, those DO look like BOYS, but that COW has a serious identity crisis! Just sayin', it's either a horse or cow 139 outta the mine shaft, which was described as "pretty beat up".
Posted by: Soap the Mad Boxer | March 09, 2006 at 03:35 PM
SNORT!!! SNERT!!! OMG!!! ROTFLMAO!!!
Posted by: the bartman | March 09, 2006 at 03:35 PM
southerngirl - "wild-eyed southern boys" - is there any other kind?
Kid Rock - the Detroit cowboy.
I'll pass on both types, thank-ewe-very-much.
Cowboy up! (remember Kiefer in that one?)
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 03:37 PM
much as I hate to agree with Annie - Kid Rock ain't no cowboy
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 03:39 PM
Whatever happened to Long Tall Texan, anyway? All this cowboy talk is making me miss him.
Posted by: Renee | March 09, 2006 at 03:41 PM
the bartman - are you ok? Do you need the Heineken manouver? I just agreed with Travis, so I could use one my own self.
I have no idea where Long Tall is buried...erp!
Posted by: Worn-but-here, The Annie | March 09, 2006 at 03:44 PM
CR - ever been to Nam Kang in Bmore? The menu there is entertaining (and scarey). Lots of ox & beef blood in the stews and hot pots. Also crispy fish chunks or chicken chunks. What cut are chunks exactly?
Posted by: Kat | March 09, 2006 at 03:45 PM
Nope kant say I've ever been there. sounds like the place blows chunks. :-)
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 09, 2006 at 04:04 PM
You should try the Big Bowl Fresh Immerse Miscellaneous Germ. It is a big favorite of the health department. (How the heck did they get miscellaneous spelled right???)
Posted by: DouglasG | March 09, 2006 at 04:08 PM
Kat sed "What cut are chunks exactly?"
They are what's left of the chicken trying to cross the road after he meets up with a truck rolling on
these.
Posted by: Soap the Mad Boxer | March 09, 2006 at 04:21 PM
Help! I'm being distracted from schoolwork, and this is driving me nuts:
Looks like some of them are spelled phonetically. I was able to figure out what things like "retchup," "saue," or "seleeted" actually mean, but I'm still wondering what the heck "gral sauce" is.
Posted by: Alex | March 09, 2006 at 04:23 PM
Thanks Soap, I feel so much better now knowing what I've eaten in the past.
Posted by: Kat | March 09, 2006 at 04:24 PM
Whoa... hotlinking to cutesy tutesy cowboy pictures, agreeing with AWBH... someone is laying it on thick today. What's up with that, Trent?
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 04:47 PM
Nevermind. Gral must be the name of a local band or something.
Posted by: Alex | March 09, 2006 at 05:24 PM
it's bumble's fault - she always seems to have a bad, um, i mean, positive influence on me - whenever she's around, I just have this urge to be, well, nice
besides, it's not my fault that Kid Rock ain't no cowboy
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 05:33 PM
Awwww!
That is actually quite charming, Tallulah.
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 05:44 PM
Excuse me Tate? Just what are we blaming on the angelic Bumble-girl here?
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 05:45 PM
Good behavior? Oh. Okay.
*scratches Tyrol behind the ears*
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 05:48 PM
Bumble - would it really bug ya if I said that you actually said my actual first name sometime in the last 2 days?
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 05:53 PM
but it ain't Tallulah
Posted by: TCK | March 09, 2006 at 06:04 PM
Theodore - I just said that Kid Rock was MY kind of cowboy. Whether or not he fits anyone else's description is totally irrelevant. And him too. Maybe even more so.
I believe that this blog allows for freedom of expression and individual opinions, unless of course something negative is said about one of the posse.
Posted by: Eleanor | March 09, 2006 at 06:23 PM
Tommy, would it really bug ya if we told you that figuring out your actual first name really isn't our goal here?
Posted by: KDF, The | March 09, 2006 at 06:27 PM
Tibalt~ By "last two days" do you mean today and yesterday, or yesterday and the day before?
Posted by: Bumble | March 09, 2006 at 06:28 PM