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March 19, 2006

SPORTS UPDATE

In a crushing blow to American pride, Shahimi Abdul Hamid has broken the record set by Gordon Cates of Florida.

March 18, 2006

AS YOU WISH

We recommend the package builder.

TRAVEL UPDATE

We had fish and chips last night, at a place in London where the menu also featured Spotted Dick. We also observed St. Patrick's Day in an appropriate and tasteful manner. Which leads to the observation that, if you are looking for truly comical plumbing -- and who is not? -- you need look no farther than the men's room of an English pub.

Today we head back to the United States, so blogging will be minimal, unless judi comes up with yet another excuse to link to pictures of men in kilts.

March 17, 2006

ATTEMPTED MEDIA MANIPULATION

NBC6, you are so BUSTED: The very last thing you think of after you see the picture is "Grandma."

(Thanks to daisymae)

WE SINCERELY APOLOGIZE

But it's really azred's fault.

WHY WE LOVE THE INTERNET

Part HUH?

(Thanks to Susan Gleason)

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to all the lads and lassies out there. Slainte!)

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Is there a large Irish population in Alabama?

(Thanks to Stupendous Man, and brought to you by the perky Channel 5 news team)

UPDATE: We would be remiss if we did not re-post this link today. (Reminded by Heshy Zaback)

UPDATE: Today's People With Lots Of Spare Time link: Irish Drinking Songs for Cat Lovers, brought to you by Bryan McBournie

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!

Take that

(Thanks to Ian Clark)

¹Men: Do not click the link.

BOOK-STRUMPETING UPDATE

Ridley and I spoke today to 200 children at a London theater. This sign was posted outside.

Signoutsidelondontalk

BLOG QUESTION OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Mr. Completely)

SPORTS DILEMMA

Who do you root for if you're a gay Muslim?

(Thanks to Tom Delaney)

March 16, 2006

UPDATE

OK, this may well be the crappiest CrapCam photo ever posted. This is a shot of me and Ridley (Ridley on the left, wearing a pirate-style bandana) on the River Thames aboard a barge hired for the evening by our lovely London publisher, Walker Books. Behind us is the famous Tower Bridge. In honor of the occasion, our barge flew the Jolly Roger, which we were told is a violation of British nautical law, but the British navy did not mess with us, on account of how fearsome we look.
Photo_031606_003

MONASTERY MASH

I was working in the lab late one night...

(Thanks to Candy Tutt)

TIP FOR POLICE

Just look for people with huge smiles on their faces.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

UPDATE: Hmmmm, could there be any connection?

(Thanks to Karl Weckstrom)

PUT TO THE TEST

Wanna go Dutch?

(Thanks to Poop Dogg)

UPDATE

I thought we were going to strumpet in Scotland today, because that's what Ridley told me. But instead we were in Birmingham, which -- according to local residents, who seemed knowledgeable -- is in fact a city in England. There we spoke to 240 ten-year-olds, who managed to hold fairly still for an hour. We were very impressed. In the U.S., that would not have happened without the use of tranquilizer darts.

Anyway, it was fun, and now we are off to London again, at least according to Ridley. Which means we will  probably wind up in Norway.

March 15, 2006

FLORIDA

We don't fool around.

(Thanks to Brad Slager)

IMPAIRED, MAYBE

But which group remembers having more fun?

(Thanks to queensbee)

WE HAVE ONE QUESTION

Can you take the Leprechaun Train to the testicle festival in the Bucket of Blood parking lot?

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

NEWS REPORT ON POPULAR SLEEP PRODUCT THAT RHYMES WITH TAMBIEN (SORT OF)

It's not just for breakfast any more.

(Thanks to F. Strong)

EDGAR, EDGAR, EDGAR...

WHY?

(Thanks to Gavin Taylor)

LEGAL WRANGLING IN LODI

You win some, you lose some. Or not.

(Thanks first to Susannah Nation)

TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME

But not literally.

(Thanks to Kathy Dubin Flynn)

MOVE OVER, MARTHA STEWART

He writes columns and books, "plays" the guitar, strumpets like a house afire, and can still surprise us with his hidden talents.

BOOK-STRUMPETING UPDATE

Dustin the turkey isn't the only famous celebrity we have met in Ireland.

Davecelebs

IRELAND UPDATE

In Ireland, if somebody is a wimp, you call that person, quote, "a big girl's blouse," as in "Ah, you're a big girl's blouse." You can also call such a person "a complete handbag." Speaking of TV shows wherein the president is a complete handbag, there are people in Ireland who keep up with "24," and they cannot BELIEVE what happened to Edgar.

March 14, 2006

ATTENTION, GUYS

If anyone ever makes fun of you for refusing to ask for directions, show them this story.

(Thanks to Luis Calvo)

FLORIDA DRIVERS

You think we're kidding.

(Thanks to Suzy Q and djtonyb)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Is this just a ploy to get us to buy his cd?

(Thanks to the Habtesource)

WANT TO WIN THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS?

Give her jewelry that says she'll always have your heart. Or something equally important.

(Thanks to Donald Esker)

HEY

Get a load of those mangoes.

(Thanks to Celine Chamberlin)

JACK BAUER FANS

They're getting younger.

(Thanks to LaDawn Haws)

BOOK-STRUMPETING UPDATE

Here we are strumpeting for our book on a popular Irish TV show hosted by a turkey named Dustin. That's Dustin on the left. No, wait, that's Ridley.

Ridleydaveireland

TUESDAY'S STRUMPET UPDATE

The guys are on near the end of this show (which will "migrate to the Monday box after tonight's show has aired," according to the lovely Brett Spencer)

UPDATE: The Simon Mayo show is now available as a podcast, here, according to Brett Spencer, who says he is definitely not single, though flattered by the bloglits' interest, and may or may not be lovely (we have to ask The Blog).

GREAT SERVICE?

We'd rather not know.

(Thanks to Nikki)

24

Excellent job of commenting by you commenters, especially the amazing Steve. As I understand it, several more major characters kicked the bucket and NONE OF THEM WAS AUDREY. Also it has become clear that the epicenter of terrorism in the U.S. is the U.S. Counter Terrorism Unit. Maybe they need to move it to an uninhabited area, such as Canada.

Anyway, thanks again for your efforts. Ridley and I are strumpeting in Ireland. We have been informed that today we will be interviewed by a turkey named Dustin. I am not making this up.

March 13, 2006

24

Here is the situation as we begin tonight's episode: I have no idea. I missed last week. All I know is that Edgar went to that big Krispy Kreme store in the sky.  Also Jack finally shot somebody in the thigh. Apparently she was an innocent woman, but sometimes Jack just gets to a point in his life where he has to shoot somebody in the thigh, and there she was. Also of course the Lethal Fatal Deadly Death Canisters of Doom are still loose in Southern California, where they have been seen shopping on Rodeo Drive as well as in the audience of the Jay Leno show.

That's all I know. I'm counting on you to keep this blog posted on tonight's developments. I'll be reading your comments from Ireland, where Ridley and I will be strumpeting for our book Tuesday.  Of course if, God forbid, anything happens to Chloe tonight, we will cancel everything and go straight home.

ATTENTION, CRIMINALS

You may get away with it, in Macedonia.

Key quote: He added that they were finding cockroaches in the printers, but the heat and the laser were killing them so there were no bigger defects. Yet, some of the judges said that cockroaches have eaten the toners of the printers on several occasions.

(Thanks to Mahatma Kane Jeeves)

ATTENTION, THE BLOG

If you have time amidst your strumpeting, there is something you might want to see. If you can.

(Thanks to Stupendous Man)

TERRIFYING SQUIRREL UPDATE

Now they're rising from the dead! And if this was blogged last week, well....it's happening again!

(Thanks to everyone in the universe, and Peter Metrinko who put us on the trail with this link)

FOR EVERYONE WHO LOVES THOSE STORIES THAT, WHEN YOU READ THEM, MAKE YOU SAY, "HUH"

Have we got a story for you.

(Thanks to warren anderson)

WHY THE BLOG WENT TO ENGLAND INSTEAD OF TEXAS

Reason Number 13

(Thanks to Russell Mc)

SKAL!

(Thanks to lushes everywhere)

24

Just wanted to send you this exact quote from our local TV reviewer, Elissa Bass of "The Day" (see her column online at theday.com):

24

9 p.m., Fox

My sources tell me they killed the fat guy last week, and everyone's really sad about it. There's your update.

Some people just don't care the way we do!

Helen Lancaster

STRUMPETING UPDATE

For those who were baffled by the Strumpeting Alert, or unable to tune in to Simon Mayo live, here is the interview, with thanks to Brett Spencer.

UPDATE: Open Book (click on "Listen to this programme in full" and fast forward to about 13:00 for a few minutes with Ridley)

UPDATE: Somewhere on www.bbc.co.uk/london there should be a video clip, eventually, but I can't find it, so I'll just toss it out there and maybe some brilliant person will find it and email it to me. (Note: The publicist can't find it either, so we're assuming it's not up yet.)

UPDATE

Here we are at are at the Peter Pan statue. Moments after this picture was taken, we froze to death and were eaten by a pack of the tiny dogs that roam Kensington Gardens.

Daveridleypeterpanstatue

STRUMPETING ALERT

Is it almost 2:15 in the UK? If so, go here now!

UPDATE: Ooops. Sounds like we have an hour to wait.

UPDATE: Oooops. This was posted by judi, not Dave. Mea culpa.

LITERARY UPDATE

The publisher presented us with a cake decorated with the cover of our book. Seconds after this picture was taken, Ridley ate it.

Ridleycake

March 12, 2006

CRIME IN ENGLAND

I swear Ridley and I had nothing to do with this.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

 
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