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March 06, 2006

MY TARGET READER DEMOGRAPHIC

Sorry for the blur (low light this morning)--but I wanted you to see this moose calf, who's OBVIOUSLY trying to get to the copy of "Dave Barry is from Mars and Venus" that's on my bedroom windowsill!  She banged her head into the window a few times, but (fortunately for me) she didn't actually get the book.  Maybe I'll have to buy another copy to leave outside for interested wildlife.

Jocelyn E. Krebs, PhD
University of Alaska, Anchorage

Moose

Comments

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Well if I had to sleep outside all winter I'd want to know how to make enough money to get inside too.

I recommend "Mooses Come Walking" by Arlo Guthrie (yes, it is a book.)

Mind you, a moose bit can be pretty nasty.

that's a CALF!!!?? whoa.
i'm originally from NYC. we have other creatures roaming around, but not mooses.

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a Monty Python reference today.

whoops - Dave R already has one up. ^

Don't mind us....

That's just priceless! This calf is obviously trying to get ready for moose mating season.

Maybe he's waiting for Dave Barry's Guide to Cows.

That looks like the moose that bit my sister... but then they all look the same to me. (That is, moose, mooses, meeses, whatever the heck the plural is, all look the same to me, not sisters.)

PS, queens, you took the words "that's a CALF!!!?? whoa." right outta my keyboard.

I prefer Decalf.

she was probably looking for this book.

Jocelyn,

While it is entirely possible that the moose was, in fact, interested in reading Dave's book, I think you may also want to reconsider the whole "horny moose girl" pajamas idea.

*zips in*

It appears to me, both from this thread and the previous one, the "Blue Meanie" is having some sort of identity crisis.

You can talk to us, Blue! :)

*changes name to show solidarity*

There ya go coast, as requested... always glad to oblige. The uninitiated can click here for a transcription of the moose references from the Holy Grail.

"Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a Barry out of my hat!"

Baby mooses are so cute!

Of course I'm saying that from the safety of my office which is a designated moose-free zone.

El -- yeah, I caught that too. Okay, I'm on board. However, if Blue turns out to be bald for whatever reason, I am not doing this.

Phhbbttt. Never mind. Link was supposed to go to an image of a guy getting his head shaved. Cue laugh track.

It's not an identity thing, El. To quote that eminent philospher, Popeye, "I Yam What I Yam".

It's an attempt to nudge the initials BM away from that identity, especially when thread topics appear involving He Whose Image Sears the Retinans or to intestinal matters, as has been known to happen at this blog more than once every millenium.

Very likely a little old lady used to drop food there. And now a biologist gets a government grant to see what books Meeses like.
I wonder what a Baby Godzilla would look like. Would I consider it Cute.
I realize there is a movie. I want to see a cute baby Godzilla still.

A Moose... obviously Love Sick... and in dire need of a read from the Mars and Venus book, Dr. K....

Nice to know other Intellectuals waste time here, Dr. EB.(Time is a wonderful thing to waste, on vacation)

Dr. Krebs - are you Maynard G.'s sister?

Me either, The WriterDude.
Solidarity only goes so far.

BTW, any update from the school?

if i drink decalf i fall asleep at my desk. not that anyone would notice.

The El: Even better, there's an entirely new outrage with respect to The Grrl's spelling bee. But I won't get to blog on that until I run a bunch of errands. Moose with me... um, I mean bear with me... hope to have it up this afternoon.

Sees homeschooling in The Dude's and The Grrl's futures. (Wow, built-in solidarity - cool.)

Meese 1: I say old bean, what the devil are you doing?

Meese 2: Aside from contemplating the Unified Field Theory? I'm getting myself photographed in hopes of getting my big break as a featured player on Dave's blog.

Meese 1: That's dash cunning of you. Am I to guess that your audition for Cats was a peck of suck?

Meese 2: Bah. They said I'm not gay enough to play Grizabella but too clean cut for Skimbleshanks. I ask you, what sort of grab-assery is that?

Meese 1: Blatant grab-assery of the highest order, I say.

Blatant Grab-Assserty of the Highest Order wbagnfa ... um ... Moose band?

...and of course, Blatant Grab-assery may or may not BAGNFARB. Or would be an appropriate (albeit obvious) choice if Dave's band wants to change its name.

Maybe she's studying animal husbandry.

Whatever you do, don't give a moose a muffin, 'cause if you give a moose a muffin...

Ok, does anyone else ever wonder if Fed Duck is safely locked away somewhere, with a nice slow haldol drip in one arm, and a hot nurse in the other?

*Snork* at blatant Fed-Duckery.

TCK! I thought that was your gig! Except, in your case, the IV contains various types of highly-concentrated alcoholic beverages. But, yeah the hot nurse there.

is there.

And sign me up for the identity solidarity team.

Okay, I'm in with the solidarity thing.

*jumps on the identity solidarity bandwagon*

hmmm - spooky Mr the C...

Ok, I'll try it, too, but I might need help.

In style this would come, I knew.

Try not, only SNORK. There is no try.

*shrugs*

still doesn't work with the anagram. i'll have to change my real name to fit.

*spewing snork* @ Yoda!

I'd like to jump on the solidarity bandwagon, but I'm not as nimble as I once was. How bout I just send ((hugs)) ?

The Moose Muffins WBAGNFARB

PS, those of you with "solidarity" issues can click here

PPS, I'm not so sure about this "renaming" thing...

OK, I gotta say it:

Coast the Raven - Nevermore

there, I feel better now

MadS - it's OK, you already fit the mold. I guess you're just ahead of your time (darn, was gonna save that for the next toilet post, but.....)

Mad - THAT's soliderriere issues - comple - uhhh TOTALLTY different.

and thank you T(he)CK - I was SO wanting to do that!

Annie, The - It's the same thing for a moose as it is with a mouse, you knowv-

Give a mouse a chocolate chip cookie, and he'll want a glass of milk. :)

So I think with a muffin a moose would want a glass of apple juice.

pssst, I know that none of the above is funny, but I typed it and I'm posting it.

Certainly good to know that we've gotten back to the "basics" in life ... such as the solidarity issues and/or emissions ...

Okay - I gotta ask - why are we in solidarity? Not that I disagree, I'm a sheep - if there is a line I have to get in it, but I'm just curious.

Is there an surplus of "the" floating around that must be used up? Does Blue get a $1.00 from Microsoft per use of "the" as in those e-mails we are supposed to forward to 500 of our closest friends?

Ya know, I think muffins are what the moose leaves behind.

Anyone notice the calf is standing on window-sill-deep snow?

O. the U(manity)

LOL!

Solidarity - yea!

To summarize.

Blue Meanie changed his name to The Blue Meanie when he got tired of being referred to as BM. Thought it would make people refer to him as TBM. It didn't.

Today he changed it to Meanie, the Blue, thinking the initials MTB would follow and resolve the problem.

El noticed all the changes and was worried that Blue might be having an identity crisis.

She changed her name to The Eleanor in solidarity, hoping that Blue would feel the love and lean on his friends.

The rest of us followed because we too, are sheep. But we are a loving sheep.

El, I think it goes - "If you give a moose a muffin, he'll probably come back tomorrow and smash your window trying to get another one...." If You Give a Moose a Muffin

TSTN - Blue is simply seeking the right screen name formulation that will banish the initials BM from future references to him. This is because of unfortunate association of these initials with the creator of hideous earwigs and with certain bodily functions that crop up on this blog with frightening.....regularity (*sob!*).

In the spirit of kindness for which this blog is world-renowned, others have taken up the cause despite not having the same initials issues.

*Wonders which third-person is writing this post for him*

*sheepishly (and lovingly) grins at Blue*

TBM, I may be past my expiration date, but I don't have THAT much mold!

Coast, thanks for the clarification, and for your admirable restraint in not tossing out another MP reference, which I then would have to respond to with yet another... next thing you know we'd be off topic, discoursing about shrubberies and outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. We certainly wouldn't want to do that...

Hmmm....but now I look too much like The Penguin. *Reverts back to just Guin.* (Which is short for Guinevere, anyway.)

Confused? You won't be - after this episode of Soap!
whamp- wahda da da da wha dadada whamp wahda da da ...

It's OK that addled minds think alike, KDF, the Sheep.

Oh, I love when it all comes full circle. Addled 'R' Us.

I'm not sure what surprises me more.... that moose trying to get that book, or the squirrel in the background trying to get the moose from doing something stupid.

Ok, I'm in!

Same thing happened to me except it was a longhorn steer and afterward we had bar-b-que. Dave's books are the best bait.

So that's why Dave's books sell so well in Texas. I certainly didn't think you were reading them.

I'm late to the party, but I'm all for solidarity, especially when it comes to excretory functions. And mulitple *snorks* to everybody.

Loans Annie one of the *ka-pwwwiiinnnggg!*s I rented from Stupendous.

I love you too Annie. You are my favorite.

I want to change my initials, too! I'm having some trouble, though...

aaaah, gawrsh.....(Texas) - now, no tellin'!

Tamara Rhymes with Camera was pretty good. Keeps things in focus.

I really enjoy the fact that, when I show up late, I wind up having no idea what the duck you people are talking about. ;)

I think this is just a trick of the light. As the photographer stated, there was "low light". One can also assume that the window has glass in it, which tends to have a reflective quality in photographs.

Remembering the lessons we recently learned studying a UT player's alleged penis (and of course, "alleged penis" wbagnfarb), I think we're safe in concluding that what we are seeing is not, in fact, a moose, but rather John Travolta playing a banjo while stradling a My Little Pony.

Which leads me to believe Ted was right last night.

*Le Snork*

for solidarity

But Annie/the,
the mouse would still want a glass of milk. That's a proven theorum.

Mouse/chocolate chip cookie/milk.

Sure, if you give a moose a muffin...
But if you teach a moose to bake muffins...

But if you teach a moose to bake muffins...

Posted by: runninutes | 04:48 PM on March 6, 2006

They'll take over and trash your kitchen. However, if you teach them to grow bran.........

If you teach them to grow bran they can create their own fertilizer.

If they can create their own fertilizer, they can grow their own parfait.

Meanie. Come to my office, lay on my couch, and I will teach you to chant: "I am who I am" until the meaning of it all becomes verrrrry clear. Or, you run out of money... er...

Pay money to chant? Hmmmm....

Couches are good for other things, and it's OK if no sisters are involved.

(I am who I am, after all).

But if they grow their own parfait, they're gonna get the munchies.
And if they get the munchies...

Blue Meanie- Just change your name to something with one word. Like Bluigi. Or Meanblue color. And then your an MC.
I of course have one word and have not had any worries about it yet. I can think of a few. But no one here grew up with 80s television and hand puppets.

Then they have grown their own bran and dont have to waste time going to 7-11 for granola bars...
DING
Full Circle!!

Bravo, CoastR. :)

Hand puppets? Hmmmmm....

Blue. People pay money for stranger things. Had a professor once who snuck into a seminar where people had paid $500 to learn about "past lives." He did the exercise and determined he had been a horse during the crusades...

*LTTG, as usual, but makes plans to sell Dr Krebs the latest model of the FirstAlert™ Moose Alarm for her outhouse*

I've come to the conclusion this thread has been invaded by Jabba the Hutt.

Oh! Let's give a *snork!* to everyone!

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