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March 16, 2006

MONASTERY MASH

I was working in the lab late one night...

(Thanks to Candy Tutt)

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Prior to display, they plan to store the body in the monestary's Abby(normal)

Maybe he really is just pining for the fjiords.

EVEN HIS SOFT PARTS...

WTF?
WTD?

YOu call this a blog?

You just post stuff.

I wish I were Dave Barry... wait, is Miami Herald hiring? I mean they are going to replace you. Or did they actually just waited you to quit...

"Even the monk's soft parts are intact," he added.

I'm thinking the monk probably would have preferred to keep the status of his "soft parts" private.

My guess is it won't be long 'till they're singing, "Dead monk in the middle of the road, stinkin' to high heaven."

Pity about the soft parts still being soft after fifteen years, too.

I seem to notice a certain deterioration in Eleanor's formerly impeccable use of the King's English. I mean, ya know, WTF?

Thanks for the flashback, ScottMGS,
I used to have the 45 rpm of Lionel Wainwright's classic opus to dead skunks and played the hell out of it....

I used to watch him when he came on Letterman's daytime show (and yes, I know I'm dating myself but I was a kid at the time) and I remember his song about trying to find a cigarette in the middle of the night... Good stuff...

You would have thought at least something got hard after all that time. The monk is probably up in heaven going "DON'T TELL THEM ABOUT MY ER*CTILE DYSFUNCTION!!"

Maybe the Monk was pickled when he died.

Or maybe the sand there has a great rejuvination thing. People that think bathing in mud will come from all over.
And we will all wonder if those people bathing are dead or just weird.

Yathink maybe they dug him up hoping for a soft part NOT to be soft? I realize that's pretty gross, but those monastaries can get pretty lonely, I suspect...

PS, the way things were between me and my ex, I can relate to the 15 years of soft........ dang, is it too early for a stiff drink?

Huh? Do they just dig corpses up every few years to check on them?

*snork* @ KDF

BTW, my middle name is Fthiotida.

Aaannnnnddd, why was he exhumed?

Maybe I missed something, but why did they dig him up in the first place?

Inquiring but not so bright minds...

Psst! Clark! It LOUDEN Wainwright III. He's still kickin' around out there.

...and I remember when Letterman was the evening weatherman on an Indianapolis TV station. They were the funniest forecasts I have ever seen.

and *snork* @ judi for "monastery mash"

rockjay
Rule number 1 in the Quest to be like Dave Barry and work for the Herald on the way to winning a Pulitzer Prize, writing multiple best sellers, having TV shows based on your work, and having an adoring throng of admirers -
LEARN TO TYPE!!

sorry, fivver and LisaBFF - didn't see ya standin' there. :)

We all know that monks drink (and have been brewing beer since at least the sixth century), so why is it a mystery that he is so well preserved? And, BTW, alcohol can cause ED problems (in lesser men than myself, naturally), which could explain the soft parts.

YOu call this a blog?

You just post stuff.

I wish I were Dave Barry... wait, is Miami Herald hiring? I mean they are going to replace you. Or did they actually just waited you to quit...

huh?

southerngirl-you sent me that vibe!

It's

Pogo, it's what??

SG and LisaBFF - thanks for the three way!
*smiles, lights cigarette, falls asleep*

Steve - see my above post to Clark - I typoed "it" - s/h/b "It's"

"we are planning to sell him to a c*s*no in Las Vegas"

I see (now).

gotcha beat fivver - I was PART of a fiver up thar ^
AND a five way at 4:20 - it dont get any better than that!!

pogo - I just made a great post about my "country music phase", but I forgot to copy and "comment sp*m" took it, doncha know. ya know what I mean, pardner - can't do it again.:( It had a link and everything.:(

CoastRaven, I noticed. ;)

fivver, wake up and put out that cigarette before you set fire to the blog!

glad you noticed s-girl
*wink*
best I've had in many threads!

><\\\\\\~~~

Eleanor - Yeah I know whatcha mean. I'm sorta back in a country music phase, but it's maybe "alternative country". I'm finding the Texas singer-songwriters are kinda interesting. Including the ones who emigrated to ATL.

"I believe this to be a sign from God..."

Which caused God raise his eyebrows and reply, "Huh?"

Thanks for the correction, Pogo,
I didn't know he was still kicking either. I was thinking he was dead for some reason.... Isn't his son a musician too?

I really need to get out more....

YOu call this a blog?

You just post stuff.

Yeah! Not like other blogs where they...um...don't post anything. They just, uh...it's just less to have to read. Words suck!!

*rolls eyes*

Heard a story once about some kids who buried their cat. In order to check on the progess of its deterioration and to be sure it was really dead, they left part of the tail above ground so they would not have a hard time relocating the burial site.

Now that's a gruesome tale.

Not quite as sicko as digging up a dead monk.

Rimshot@Hanna, plus a hearty snork

The monk's body will be placed in isolation in the monastery chapel "to let God speak through the passage of time"

How does a dead monk's body allow God to speak through the passage of time? Can God speak through the passage of time without a dead monk, or is the dead monk imperative? Is "passage of time" a euphemism that I am missing?

Overthinking. It's what Jemmys do best.

"semi-state Athens News Agency"

Obviously, the monk in question was also in a semi-state.

A search reveals his son Rufus and daughter Martha are both singer/songwriters. I don't know anything more about them except one of Louden's better known songs, "Rufus is a Tit Man" is about his son's breast feeding stage.

*passes Jemmy a beer*

Here, Hon, sit down and don't think so hard for a while. Think time is over for today.

Rufus Wainwright sang Hallelujah in Shrek. I have the soundtrack. Jeff Buckley sings it better, but it's a beautiful song.

Because of something, I have some additional TV channels and one of them is VH1 Country with NO commercials. They have pretty mainstream stuff included: Bon Jovi, Sheryl Crow, James Taylor, Jimmy Buffett, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, Keith Urban, etc. And a new person I've discovered, Sara Evans, who is just terrific -

OK, I'll stop now. :)

Jemmy- I think it takes a lot more for a Greek Orthodox person to become a Saint then in the Catholic church. I can't rememebr

Jemmy, I agree. How would they know it was God and not the body passing gas? Does God really need a dead body to speak through? I think daffodils and sunsets do it pretty well...

gotta get back to work.

I used to see a magazine regularly that had something called the "green weeny" award monthly for nonsense stuff done in the name of religion. This one would be a two-or-maybe-three-weeny event, in my think'n....

"Oh, for Pete's sake, put him back in the ground already! What IS it with you people?!"

I remember that song in Shrek. Very cool....

Way off topic, but Jim Croce's son (and I can't remember his name) played at a club here several years ago. Amazing talent, just like his dad. Played the piano and sang blues/folk kind of stuff and he was blind.

The sad thing is that he was just a toddler when his dad died and barely remembers him. Croce only recorded three albums before he died in a plane crash in his early 30s, which has got to be one of the great musical tragedies...

Can you imagine how many cool songs he would have written by now if he lived...

Hanna - Just one and it's kinda soft...

Pogo-- ewww, beer! Liquid bread! ugh!

Hanna-- my sentiments exactly.

Why did they dig him up? Incorruption is a sign of sanctity. This is not the first time this has happened, in other words. People who are considered to be saintly are dug up after their deaths to ascertain whether they are incorrupt. If so, this counts heavily in their favor.

In some cases, such as St. Charbel Maklouf of Lebanon, weird lights and other supernatural events surround the grave which give them an indication to investigate.

Man, do we have great blogsters or what? Thanks, Eric. This may also help explain why some senators start to rot BEFORE they die.

I had no idea who y'all were talking about until pogo said Rufus and Martha are singers too. Suddenly I remembered a "special feature" interview with Louden on the DVD of "The Aviator"; Louden, Rufus, and Martha each performed in different musical numbers in that movie. If you consider yourself a Louden fan, you should check it out. Even though it is Leonardo DiCaprio.

And I hope rockyjay decides to stick around. It's nice to have someone to laugh at, instead of just folks to laugh with.

Uhhhhh...RockyJay appears to be a big-time self-proclaimed expert in the blog biz, as well as being a "semi-professional" race-car driver. His blog is sponsored by some link to lots of T & A photos, and one icon which shakes its booty and is labeled, "tap this ass to enter the gallery."
Ladies, don't reward him with a click.
Gentlemen, there are LOTS of other T&A sites.

I got a note from God once. It was in my lunch bag, and it said "Dear Hanna. Karen really really really wants a Cabbage Patch Doll." Nice try from my daughter who figured I might listen to a higher authority.

Maybe the dead guy sees notes. Lights? Maybe aliens. Can you see them with the home video, "Now, we went to this planet, and played some practical jokes on the local yokels..."

Thank you, Eric. I'm Orthodox myself and I was just about to explain that.

BTW they don't enbalm monks. It's a pickling-free process!

Speaking about buried cats.... (Hanna, 5:17pm)

Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the fresh-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your fricking cat.

Oh I guess there not in such a pickle after all.

I knew I had heard about this earlier. A friend of mine was a Orthodox Nun. She went a little -just a little- crazy. I think she lives in Denmark now.

Jewish folk don't do the embalming thing either. We just bury in 24 hours.
/end religious portion of blog

Thank you Eric. That's very interesting.

and

*snork* at Annie

Well, how much do you think he will go for on e-bay?

Not to be irreverant or anything, now that I know this monk may actually have been a saint, but isn't it interesting that this item was submitted by a person with the last name of "Tutt." NTTAWWT-Just an observation.

holy crap - Annie's God?!?

is anyone else scared by this epiphany?

YOu call this a blog?

You just post stuff.

by Rockyjay?

Oh, we do more than post stuff, my friend!

JOCK RAYY
JOCKY RAY
YAK CROY J (Czech)
RAY JOCKY
RAY KOCYJ (Serbian)
OJAY RYCK (Turkish)

(methinks anagrams ain't my forte)

's OK Daisy

A fer effort

"Hmm, this guy's been a good, faithful monk. I know...I'll let him die, but I'll make his tissues decay reaaaallly slowly, on the off chance (or is it Destiny? ha ha, I'll never tell) that somebody will dig him up 15 years later and put him on display as some sort of conduit to Me. Ha ha!"

God must have a pretty warped sense of humor.

Wavey - You got that right - just look around you.

All I have to do is look in the mirror!

When I read this, the first thing I thought of was Napoleon.

"Nineteen years after Napoleon’s death and entombment at St. Helena, his casket was opened to identify Napoleon before returning the body to France as the Emperor desired. Former attendants present, aged by nearly two decades, were astonished to see that the emperor’s unembalmed body was almost perfectly preserved. Arsenic has checked the processes of decay in the triply enclosed and sealed coffin."

It's not a miracle, it's...(dramatic pause)...MURDER!

"Incorruptibles" are not unknown in the West as well. There are a number of Catholic saints whose bodies are also said to have failed to decay as would be expected by natural processes.
Here's a book about it, which I've not read:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0895550660/sr=8-1/qid=1142614451/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-8152586-6472039?%5Fencoding=UTF8

Har! When I sent this in, I put 'There's a dead monk in the middle of the road...' in the subject line. Loudon is still alive, however Warren Zevon ('Werewolves of London') is dead...Whoa, wonder if he's 'decomposing' like all deceased music writers?

And - Yeah, I get the 'King Tut' thing all the time...I have a license plate that says TUTBUS on my VW van.

Welcome to the forums Candy.

Mike, I heard that somebody swiped Napoleon's p*cker and preserved it in formaldehyde somewhere. Like a trophy. Can anybody confirm this?

Isn't incorruptibility also evidence that the "corpse" is a vampire?

I'm just askin'.

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