MESSAGE
Thank you for reading this blog. All of our bloggers are busy at this time. A blogger will blog something as soon as possible. This blog appreciates the hell out of your business, so please remain on hold and "chill" to some Easy Listening Hold Music.
Ooooookay.......
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 22, 2006 at 10:36 AM
Patience he**! I'm going out and shoot someone in the thigh! First?
Posted by: Hudge | March 22, 2006 at 10:36 AM
First to comment on a non-blogged blog! Or is it a blog if they blogged it? Hmmmm...I just don't know.
*hides thighs from Hudge*
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 22, 2006 at 10:38 AM
Yeaaaah!! Kikkoman's back!
Posted by: tj | March 22, 2006 at 10:41 AM
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnort!
*cough*
*scratchscratch*
*squints at blog*
Awwww, dammit, just another public service announcement.
Wake me up when there's something blogworthy.
*rolls over and goes back to sleep*
Posted by: djtonyb | March 22, 2006 at 10:42 AM
Rats, I wasn't first! And I just shot myself in the thigh trying to claim it! Suzy Q, can you to apply a pressure bandage?
Posted by: Hudge | March 22, 2006 at 10:46 AM
Dear Valued Customers:
To Whom It May Or May Not Concern, As The Case May Be, Etc.:
It has been brought to the attention of our Department of Timely Blog Postings Notification Subcommittee that we have yet to receive your blog posting for the time period of 3/22/06, at roughly 10:33 am, and that this puts you in breach of Article 35, Paragraph C-4, sentences 3.1416 through 8 of the Humor Specialization and Dissemination Contract, causing a massive backlog of pithy comments among our noble constituents, which furthermore, without proper distraction for aforementioned constituents, has cause an unhealthy level of productivity in the working environment, which is felt by the aforementioned subcommittee, to be unacceptable and your prompt and immediate attention to this matter will be greatly appreciated.
E Plurubus Uranium, Quid Pro Quo and So Forth, Amen.
- Mssr. Federal Q. Duck Esq. IV
Posted by: Federal Duck | March 22, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Whenever I think of Soy Sauce, I ALWAYS get the image of a nekkid superhero standing on hi voltage lines!
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 22, 2006 at 10:50 AM
Oosik sushi, anyone?
Posted by: Lairbo | March 22, 2006 at 10:52 AM
Coast...me too. Very distracting in Asian restaurants
And just for the record, I have already bookmarked Kikkoman. Also the dolphins, the real-life Simpsons, the ball toucher (NTTAWWT), Cows with Guns, Escapa!, the James Lileks site, and the singing reindeer.
Do you know how difficult it's becoming to get anything actually DONE these days???
Posted by: Betsy | March 22, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Man, Neal's out sick, the blog is on hold and the caffine has kicked in. I'll just patiently sit here and twitch.
Posted by: fivver | March 22, 2006 at 10:54 AM
If memory serves me right, the last time we had a non-blog where we were told it was just a test blog and not to respond there were a multitude of responses. Are we test subjects on how well we respond to commands?
Posted by: ncc1701 | March 22, 2006 at 10:55 AM
I've always said, if anyone can make a federal case of anything, it's The Duck. Bravo, Federal Duck!
How many blogs would a bogged Blog blog if a bogged Blog could blog blogs?
Posted by: MOTW | March 22, 2006 at 10:57 AM
*zips in*
Kikkoman punny!
Show Me, Show you, where shoyu is how you say soy sauce in japanese!
Makes up for having a fish head with a bottle cap on it. OK, GBTW.
*un zips*
Posted by: CJrun | March 22, 2006 at 10:59 AM
I kinda agree w/ncc1701 - on many occasions I picture SuperBlog sitting back with friends (or oosiks) and a beer, and saying "Watch this". He then tosses a piece of fish into the pool (IE - a senseless blog post) to see what kind of feeding frenzy will follow.
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 22, 2006 at 11:07 AM
HEY!! CJrun just stole Eleanor's zip!!
*runs off to warn Eleanor*
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | March 22, 2006 at 11:10 AM
"on many occasions I picture SuperBlog sitting back with friends (or oosiks...)"
Coast, the two things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, are they? :)
Posted by: southerngirl | March 22, 2006 at 11:11 AM
It's SPRING! Who wants to spend it inside blogging?
I want to spend it outside blogging. Dave, may I borrow your incredible phone/crapcam/net-surfing/thingee?
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 22, 2006 at 11:12 AM
Hudge: What - you can't take a little pain? Jack Bauer would SCOFF at your injury!
*pokes djtonb a lil*
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 22, 2006 at 11:13 AM
Oh, and a total SNORK at Fed Duck.
Posted by: Suzy Q | March 22, 2006 at 11:15 AM
correct s-girl... I shouldda said "and/or". Hell - if ya can't share an oosik with friends who CAN ya share one with (or is that "with whom CAN ya share one?")?
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 22, 2006 at 11:22 AM
CoastRaven, I think it is kind of a Pavlov thing...
I think the next is how they can get us to drool and blog at the same time.
Posted by: ncc1701 | March 22, 2006 at 11:23 AM
**News Alert**
"Suspicious Package found on the White House Lawn!"
Question: Would Walter be considered a suspicious package, or can any old Dick get into the White House (insert VP joke here)?
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 22, 2006 at 11:27 AM
Well, *I'm* not gonna get caught commenting on this feeding frenzy blog item!
Posted by: BlueLobster | March 22, 2006 at 11:37 AM
Aunt Nancy: I borrowed, the zip to get in, and then un-zipped to get out. Theft is OK, if it's funny.
Meanwhile, I have to catch a plane to Dallas, where I apparently better limit myself to 3-beers, even in the hotel bar:
http://www.nbc5i.com/news/8169246/detail.html
Comments?
Posted by: CJrun | March 22, 2006 at 11:38 AM
*whistling to pass the non-blogged time*
Oh, Hey, does that Kikkoman Show You thingie have sound? My speakers are fubared.
*goes back to whistling patiently*
Posted by: Bucket | March 22, 2006 at 11:40 AM
Now I'm earwigging out to: Oh soy, can you see?
Posted by: PirateBoy | March 22, 2006 at 11:40 AM
Ah! Thanks PB.
*changes whistling tune*
Posted by: Bucket | March 22, 2006 at 11:42 AM
gee, judi gives us men in kilts when she has nothing to blog. was anyone brave enough to click the hold music link?
Posted by: crossgirl | March 22, 2006 at 11:51 AM
CJrun - WOW!
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | March 22, 2006 at 11:56 AM
*wonders if he should just drive down to Miami and whine at judi's desk until she posts something*
*decides to go to lunch instead*
Posted by: djtonyb | March 22, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Well, I think I'll just ignore this post...
Posted by: Peg Leg Pete, CPA | March 22, 2006 at 12:03 PM
CJrun - if you limit yourself to three beers in Dallas, you are going to be a few tequilas behind the rest of us who are already here.
Of course, that's just the Wednesday pre-lunch quota.
Posted by: ASK | March 22, 2006 at 12:06 PM
Hell, I got nothin'.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | March 22, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Now that I read the link - since when is a bar not a place to get drunk?
But I agree - somebody in Irving must have been drunk over the weekend.
Posted by: ASK | March 22, 2006 at 12:14 PM
*ZIPS IN*
*ahem*
It was brought to my attention that a stranger was using my copyrighted *zip* and I dashed - er, I mean *zipped* right over here, prepared to file a lawsuit.
But after reviewing the matter, and seeing that CJrun only borrowed it for a brief moment and UN-zipped before he left (which could of course be some sort of violation in itself), I prepared to let this matter slide - for now.
And because I have to go see my tax guy.
AND - I just want to mention that I am NOT off topic, because there is, unfortunately, NO TOPIC. *sigh*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 22, 2006 at 12:40 PM
I would absolutely not check the Kilt thread if I were DJT.
Posted by: Just Some Guy | March 22, 2006 at 12:41 PM
They should arrest Jerry Jones for creating a public disturbance.
So, I guess the 'Unicard' I got the last time I was in Dallas is good for a uni-beer, or uni-tequilla shot. This should go over well at the wedding reception I'm going to on Saturday. Sequel to the Wedding Crashers: cops raid the reception and arrest everyone dancing to 'Shout!' Cop quoted saying 'Wedding receptions are places to go to have fun, not to get drunk.'
Posted by: CJrun | March 22, 2006 at 12:43 PM
All your foreign sauces are belong to us.
Posted by: Ford79 | March 22, 2006 at 12:48 PM
Why was Kikkoman in bed with another condiment? There's something vaguely disturbing about that... but I'm not sure what.
Posted by: Daniel | March 22, 2006 at 12:53 PM
This blog item is kind of like a car wreck. I find it hard to look away.
Also I'm wondering, did William have anything to do with this?
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 22, 2006 at 01:05 PM
Ooops...William
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 22, 2006 at 01:07 PM
DCK! THR'S A SHP ON UR HD!!
[subtitle: Duck! there's a sheep on your head!]
*Jumps*
*tackles evil sheep on Fed's head*
oh, ur playing a lawyer. th's ok thn.
Posted by: Bangi | March 22, 2006 at 01:19 PM
CJrun, u r under arrest for stealing other ppl's zips. Shall i handcuff u b4 or after i smear u with whipped cream?
Posted by: Bangi_in _police_suit | March 22, 2006 at 01:21 PM
(psssssssssssst...r we still naughty around here?)
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles_Dangerously | March 22, 2006 at 01:23 PM
did i scare off every1?
Posted by: Bangladeshi_gurl | March 22, 2006 at 01:24 PM
*swings in on tarzan rope*
*sprays bangi with silly-string#&trade*
*swings out*
Posted by: djtonyb | March 22, 2006 at 01:28 PM
*AHEM*
*sprays bangi with silly string™*
*notices his html badge is looking a little tarnished*
Posted by: djtonyb | March 22, 2006 at 01:37 PM
*clings to DJT as he swings out*
Posted by: Bangi_Sizzles_Dangerously | March 22, 2006 at 01:44 PM
Bangi! I've missed you! (but now that you're here, I'll have a better shot).
Posted by: ASK (aka elfbrains) | March 22, 2006 at 01:55 PM
Not that there's any point to commenting on-topic, but did that thing say that soy sauce "can even kill bacteria!"?
*speeds off to grocery store to buy out their supply of soy sauce, which may come in handy in case of ear infection, UTI, or biological WMD scenario*
Posted by: KDF | March 22, 2006 at 01:56 PM
MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!
KDF is making fun of us for being off-topic again!
*leaves a giant python/boa in KDF's backpack*
Let's see what effect soy sauce may have on this!
Posted by: djtonyb | March 22, 2006 at 02:02 PM
I thought the topic was that there is no topic.
Posted by: ASK | March 22, 2006 at 02:05 PM
i think it's ethically wrong to have a topic. Yah. Coz Im Muslim...and as all muslims know, on thursdays, u cannot have a topic.
i shall now burn a flag in protest...
Posted by: Bangi | March 22, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Somebody mentioned singing reindeer. Yes, but have you heard the singing horses?
Posted by: Ernie G | March 22, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Bangi, you pounced on my sheep! You know, that's prolly either naughty or illegal, but we'll let it slide since you're a total muslim hottie.
*sprays silly string on Bangi's flag*
Posted by: Federal Duck | March 22, 2006 at 03:23 PM
Bangi - Except today's Wednesday.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | March 22, 2006 at 03:37 PM
Well it's Wednesday HERE Mr C, but in the Far East it is already Thursday. Which is why I have been trying to place a call to Indonesia to find out what tonights lottery numbers are.
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 22, 2006 at 03:39 PM
*skips in front door*
*forages for Cocoa Puffs™*
*eats Cocoa Puffs™ and daydreams about Keith Partridge, cause he's SO. TOTALLY. CUTE.
*opens backpack*
AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
MOM!!! Soy sauce! Hurry!
SOY SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: KDF | March 22, 2006 at 04:16 PM
Stranger wipes off whipped cream, pulls silly string from hair, looks around and finds it's already Thursday.
Bangi's a whipped-creaming dateliner.
Posted by: CJrun | March 22, 2006 at 04:32 PM
When we saw Kikkoman™ in bed with the woman, there was a warning:
Kids: Don't try this at home
Posted by: | March 22, 2006 at 06:08 PM
try whut?
(n that "woman" still looks a mite young imo)
Posted by: | March 22, 2006 at 06:37 PM
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I must not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel.' Neither are Mom
and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an
unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, Our last question . . .
Dear God: When we get to Heaven may we have my testicles back?
Posted by: daisymae | March 22, 2006 at 08:17 PM
REPLAY? ....Uh, no thanks I think you show me enough
Posted by: hd4mtns | March 22, 2006 at 09:04 PM
Oh, come on, there hasn't been a suspicious package in the White House since Bill Clinton's.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | March 23, 2006 at 12:53 AM