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March 22, 2006

MESSAGE

Thank you for reading this blog. All of our bloggers are busy at this time. A blogger will blog something as soon as possible. This blog appreciates the hell out of your business, so please remain on hold and "chill" to some Easy Listening Hold Music.

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Ooooookay.......

Patience he**! I'm going out and shoot someone in the thigh! First?

First to comment on a non-blogged blog! Or is it a blog if they blogged it? Hmmmm...I just don't know.

*hides thighs from Hudge*

Yeaaaah!! Kikkoman's back!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnort!

*cough*

*scratchscratch*

*squints at blog*

Awwww, dammit, just another public service announcement.

Wake me up when there's something blogworthy.

*rolls over and goes back to sleep*

Rats, I wasn't first! And I just shot myself in the thigh trying to claim it! Suzy Q, can you to apply a pressure bandage?

Dear Valued Customers:

To Whom It May Or May Not Concern, As The Case May Be, Etc.:

It has been brought to the attention of our Department of Timely Blog Postings Notification Subcommittee that we have yet to receive your blog posting for the time period of 3/22/06, at roughly 10:33 am, and that this puts you in breach of Article 35, Paragraph C-4, sentences 3.1416 through 8 of the Humor Specialization and Dissemination Contract, causing a massive backlog of pithy comments among our noble constituents, which furthermore, without proper distraction for aforementioned constituents, has cause an unhealthy level of productivity in the working environment, which is felt by the aforementioned subcommittee, to be unacceptable and your prompt and immediate attention to this matter will be greatly appreciated.
E Plurubus Uranium, Quid Pro Quo and So Forth, Amen.

- Mssr. Federal Q. Duck Esq. IV

Whenever I think of Soy Sauce, I ALWAYS get the image of a nekkid superhero standing on hi voltage lines!

Oosik sushi, anyone?

Coast...me too. Very distracting in Asian restaurants

And just for the record, I have already bookmarked Kikkoman. Also the dolphins, the real-life Simpsons, the ball toucher (NTTAWWT), Cows with Guns, Escapa!, the James Lileks site, and the singing reindeer.

Do you know how difficult it's becoming to get anything actually DONE these days???

Man, Neal's out sick, the blog is on hold and the caffine has kicked in. I'll just patiently sit here and twitch.

If memory serves me right, the last time we had a non-blog where we were told it was just a test blog and not to respond there were a multitude of responses. Are we test subjects on how well we respond to commands?

I've always said, if anyone can make a federal case of anything, it's The Duck. Bravo, Federal Duck!

How many blogs would a bogged Blog blog if a bogged Blog could blog blogs?

*zips in*

Kikkoman punny!

Show Me, Show you, where shoyu is how you say soy sauce in japanese!

Makes up for having a fish head with a bottle cap on it. OK, GBTW.

*un zips*

I kinda agree w/ncc1701 - on many occasions I picture SuperBlog sitting back with friends (or oosiks) and a beer, and saying "Watch this". He then tosses a piece of fish into the pool (IE - a senseless blog post) to see what kind of feeding frenzy will follow.

HEY!! CJrun just stole Eleanor's zip!!

*runs off to warn Eleanor*

"on many occasions I picture SuperBlog sitting back with friends (or oosiks...)"

Coast, the two things aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, are they? :)

It's SPRING! Who wants to spend it inside blogging?

I want to spend it outside blogging. Dave, may I borrow your incredible phone/crapcam/net-surfing/thingee?

Hudge: What - you can't take a little pain? Jack Bauer would SCOFF at your injury!

*pokes djtonb a lil*

Oh, and a total SNORK at Fed Duck.

correct s-girl... I shouldda said "and/or". Hell - if ya can't share an oosik with friends who CAN ya share one with (or is that "with whom CAN ya share one?")?

CoastRaven, I think it is kind of a Pavlov thing...
I think the next is how they can get us to drool and blog at the same time.

**News Alert**

"Suspicious Package found on the White House Lawn!"

Question: Would Walter be considered a suspicious package, or can any old Dick get into the White House (insert VP joke here)?

Well, *I'm* not gonna get caught commenting on this feeding frenzy blog item!

Aunt Nancy: I borrowed, the zip to get in, and then un-zipped to get out. Theft is OK, if it's funny.

Meanwhile, I have to catch a plane to Dallas, where I apparently better limit myself to 3-beers, even in the hotel bar:

http://www.nbc5i.com/news/8169246/detail.html

Comments?

*whistling to pass the non-blogged time*

Oh, Hey, does that Kikkoman Show You thingie have sound? My speakers are fubared.

*goes back to whistling patiently*

Now I'm earwigging out to: Oh soy, can you see?

Ah! Thanks PB.

*changes whistling tune*

gee, judi gives us men in kilts when she has nothing to blog. was anyone brave enough to click the hold music link?

CJrun - WOW!

*wonders if he should just drive down to Miami and whine at judi's desk until she posts something*

*decides to go to lunch instead*

Well, I think I'll just ignore this post...

CJrun - if you limit yourself to three beers in Dallas, you are going to be a few tequilas behind the rest of us who are already here.

Of course, that's just the Wednesday pre-lunch quota.

Hell, I got nothin'.

Now that I read the link - since when is a bar not a place to get drunk?

But I agree - somebody in Irving must have been drunk over the weekend.

*ZIPS IN*

*ahem*

It was brought to my attention that a stranger was using my copyrighted *zip* and I dashed - er, I mean *zipped* right over here, prepared to file a lawsuit.

But after reviewing the matter, and seeing that CJrun only borrowed it for a brief moment and UN-zipped before he left (which could of course be some sort of violation in itself), I prepared to let this matter slide - for now.

And because I have to go see my tax guy.

AND - I just want to mention that I am NOT off topic, because there is, unfortunately, NO TOPIC. *sigh*

I would absolutely not check the Kilt thread if I were DJT.

They should arrest Jerry Jones for creating a public disturbance.

So, I guess the 'Unicard' I got the last time I was in Dallas is good for a uni-beer, or uni-tequilla shot. This should go over well at the wedding reception I'm going to on Saturday. Sequel to the Wedding Crashers: cops raid the reception and arrest everyone dancing to 'Shout!' Cop quoted saying 'Wedding receptions are places to go to have fun, not to get drunk.'

All your foreign sauces are belong to us.

Why was Kikkoman in bed with another condiment? There's something vaguely disturbing about that... but I'm not sure what.

This blog item is kind of like a car wreck. I find it hard to look away.

Also I'm wondering, did William have anything to do with this?

Ooops...William

DCK! THR'S A SHP ON UR HD!!
[subtitle: Duck! there's a sheep on your head!]

*Jumps*
*tackles evil sheep on Fed's head*

oh, ur playing a lawyer. th's ok thn.

CJrun, u r under arrest for stealing other ppl's zips. Shall i handcuff u b4 or after i smear u with whipped cream?

(psssssssssssst...r we still naughty around here?)

did i scare off every1?

*swings in on tarzan rope*

*sprays bangi with silly-string#&trade*

*swings out*

*AHEM*

*sprays bangi with silly string™*

*notices his html badge is looking a little tarnished*

*clings to DJT as he swings out*

Bangi! I've missed you! (but now that you're here, I'll have a better shot).


Not that there's any point to commenting on-topic, but did that thing say that soy sauce "can even kill bacteria!"?

*speeds off to grocery store to buy out their supply of soy sauce, which may come in handy in case of ear infection, UTI, or biological WMD scenario*

MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!

KDF is making fun of us for being off-topic again!

*leaves a giant python/boa in KDF's backpack*

Let's see what effect soy sauce may have on this!

I thought the topic was that there is no topic.

i think it's ethically wrong to have a topic. Yah. Coz Im Muslim...and as all muslims know, on thursdays, u cannot have a topic.

i shall now burn a flag in protest...

Somebody mentioned singing reindeer. Yes, but have you heard the singing horses?

Bangi, you pounced on my sheep! You know, that's prolly either naughty or illegal, but we'll let it slide since you're a total muslim hottie.

*sprays silly string on Bangi's flag*

Bangi - Except today's Wednesday.

Well it's Wednesday HERE Mr C, but in the Far East it is already Thursday. Which is why I have been trying to place a call to Indonesia to find out what tonights lottery numbers are.

*skips in front door*

*forages for Cocoa Puffs™*

*eats Cocoa Puffs™ and daydreams about Keith Partridge, cause he's SO. TOTALLY. CUTE.

*opens backpack*

AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

MOM!!! Soy sauce! Hurry!

SOY SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger wipes off whipped cream, pulls silly string from hair, looks around and finds it's already Thursday.

Bangi's a whipped-creaming dateliner.

When we saw Kikkoman™ in bed with the woman, there was a warning:

Kids: Don't try this at home

try whut?
(n that "woman" still looks a mite young imo)

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I must not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel.' Neither are Mom
and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an
unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room
and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, Our last question . . .

Dear God: When we get to Heaven may we have my testicles back?

REPLAY? ....Uh, no thanks I think you show me enough

Oh, come on, there hasn't been a suspicious package in the White House since Bill Clinton's.

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