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March 14, 2006

HEY

Get a load of those mangoes.

(Thanks to Celine Chamberlin)

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Monster Mangoes wbagnf ... well, you know

Those Hawaiians - always showing off their mangoes!

We got mangos and bananas you can pick right off the -
*thwack*
OOOFF!!

(*self snork* for thwack-ooff - is that legal?)

And yet when I show off my five-pound monster mango, I'm threatened with a restraining order.

Where's the other one?

"All the people I showed it to at Safeway and Sack 'n' Save were just amazed," she said.

Well... yeah...

"world's biggest jackfruit"? So many jokes, my head is spinning....

Chianca, you know I have a... [clearing throat] a deep and abiding interest in, um, [more clearing] five-pound [licking lips] mangoes... [fanning self]

psst, Coast... *snork* for "thwack-ooff."

I thought Jackfruit and the Mangoes WBAGNFARB.

Aww, Fed, what did you do to her???

WHAT? I just like fresh fruit! GAWD!

*adds Do you have a Guinness certificate for your record mangoes? to his list of "can't miss" pickup lines*

And just what in the name of screaming Jesus is a jackfruit?

"already a state mango record holder"

Yeah...I hate mango dilletantes.

This record is suspect - I think she 'neutically enhanced' her jackfruit.
..as in - planting implants in her plants.

Why would one jack fruit? Fruit has never seemed really the target of much crime before.

Somewhere North - you've never been to West Hollywood. :(


I'm not all that impressed. By definition her mangoes are in plants.

Still, judging by my physical reaction they could be passion fruit.

I hear West Hollywood is full of fruit, but I was actually referring more to the supermarket kind. NTTAWWT

SN - ever been to a cafeteria food fight? Does anyone ever call a pearamedic? Noooo!

By that standard Annie, what goes on in your average cafeteria should be considered mass murder. Eleanor - there's a good lawsuit waiting to be filed!

It's obvious that this was a spiritual thing for her -
"I just looked up at the sky and saw it.:

She's not a Pastafarian, that's for sure. :)

Did anyone test it for steriods? That fruit is juiced!

How about they also test it for steriods, after they're done testing it for steriods, whatever they is.

Personally, I'm not even allowed to lift my mango...without a spotter...doctor's orders.

Stupdendous, um... usually playing with your mango is more of a private affair. Just saying ..

If there is any "spotting" on your mango you might want to get that checked too.

I climbed the ladder and when I touched it, it fell right into my hands ...

O ...

...

...

K ...

pssst Annie - huh?

hmmmm...seems as tho' one of her mangos is somewhat larger than the other...egad, it's my first wife!!

Run, spot! Run!

So three midgets (NTTAWWT) were standing in front of the Guinness Book of World Records Building one day watching people troop in and exit minutes later with a certificate and a big smile.

One midget turned to the other two and said, "I think I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records ! I'm pretty sure I have the world,s smallest feet! I'm gonna go in there right now and find out!"

And in he went. Minutes later he exited wearing a big smile and carrying a certificate that announced he had the world's smallest feet.

One of the others said, "Look at that! He's in the book! I think I should be in the book, too, 'cause I'm pretty sure I've got the world's smallest hands!"

And in he went, dashing out minutes later with a big smile and a certificate announcing he had the world's smallest hands.

The third midget, not to be outdone, declared, "Well, I believe I have the world's smallest mango!" And he dashed into the building.

A few minutes later he exited the building without a certificate and wearing a deep scowl.

"What happened?" asked his proud friends.

"Damn that Stupendous Man!" he growled.

el - steriods are often referred to as 'juice.' They bulk up both your muscles and your temper.

You wouldn't know that because you follow the Yankees, a good, clean-cut, honest baseball team that would never ever need to cheat with drugs.

Stupe - "Go, man, go!"

Stupe, I was just on the previous thread thinkin',
"it's been a while since we had a superhero story."

And here you are.

*SNORK*

He's my favorite stuperhero. :)

Thanks for the 'splanation, Annie. No one on my team would ever do that. :)

http://www.crfg.org/pubs/ff/jackfruit.html

"The jackfruit tree is handsome and stately. In the tropics it grows to an enormous size, like a large eastern oak.All parts contain a sticky, white latex...Jackfruit is the largest tree-borne fruit in the world, reaching 80 pounds in weight and up to 36 inches long and 20 inches in diameter...When fully ripe, the unopened jackfruit emits a strong disagreeable odor, resembling that of decayed onions, while the pulp of the opened fruit smells of pineapple and banana. There are two main varieties. In one, the fruits have small, fibrous, soft, mushy, but very sweet carpels with a texture somewhat akin to a raw oysters. The other variety is crisp and almost crunchy though not quite as sweet."
-------------------
1. The jackfruit tree snorts haughtily at 5 pound mangoes!
2. Raw oyster-like texture; scents of decaying onion, pineapple, and banana; sticky, white latex;
everything you'd ever want in a tropical fruit in a convenient 80lb. package!
3.They're finger stickin' good!

- The Jackfruit Promotion Board (wbagnfarb)

I'm still waiting for the story where Stupendous Man gets a sidekick named "Dangly Bit."

"And just what in the name of screaming Jesus is a jackfruit?"

It's what Jack Bauer carries in his JackSack™!

Annie - to semi-quote General George Patton:
"Only a pimp in an Alabama wh*rehouse would have a sidekick named 'Dangly Bits!'"

Stupe - so - my original question still stands, oh Pendin One.

Annie - your original question on this thread was:
'"world's biggest jackfruit"?'
Are you sure that question still stands? And if that's not the question to which you are referring, what is? You've really stumped the Stupe here!

Stupe- when are you going to write the story where you meet your sidekick, 'Dangly Bit?'

Maybe I need to write it....sigh.

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