COUNTY DURHAM TRAFFIC ADVISORY
Be advised that Deadman's Lane has been closed to allow some hot toad lovin'.
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Be advised that Deadman's Lane has been closed to allow some hot toad lovin'.
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Please be advised that Fait Ave in Baltimore will be closed this weekend to give this bird a chance to breed... What the hell, if it works for toads!!
Just sayin.
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 24, 2006 at 08:43 AM
"let's do it in the road"
Posted by: crossgirl | March 24, 2006 at 08:43 AM
CORRECTION:
"Why don't we do it in the road? "
it's too early, and i'm too young to get my beatles lyrics right. a thousand pardons to all you geezers.
Posted by: crossgirl | March 24, 2006 at 08:50 AM
Some of the geezers don't seem to be awake yet either, crossgirl, but the accuracy of any statements about doing it in the road are graded "on the curve" so to speak.
Posted by: spinner8 | March 24, 2006 at 08:55 AM
*squish -- squish -- squish*
What's that sound?
Nematodes ...
Nah ... they's just common toads ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | March 24, 2006 at 08:55 AM
Reminds me of a song from childhood
Oh Tom the toad
Oh Tom the toad
Why are you crossing the road?
Oh Tom the toad
Oh Tom the toad
Why are you crossing the road?
You see my pond is over there
And I'll be jumping on her there
Oh Tom the toad
Oh Tom the toad
Why are you crossing the road?
Posted by: toads for breakfast | March 24, 2006 at 08:59 AM
"Honey, I might be a little late tonight, because I'm stoppin' by the breeding pond on the way home."
"The hell you are!"
----
Adds to list of sure-fire pickup lines: "Say, don't I know you from the breeding pond?"
Posted by: Christobol | March 24, 2006 at 09:18 AM
Of course, if you're at the breeding pond, the appropriate line is, "Come here often?"
Posted by: Christobol | March 24, 2006 at 09:19 AM
In Chicago, we'd build'em a $7 billion overpass and hang flower baskets from it.
Posted by: Betsy | March 24, 2006 at 09:35 AM
I want to say something about toad foreplay and, "Tastes like chicken", but I'd rather not start the weekend in that manner.
Posted by: MartiniShark | March 24, 2006 at 09:36 AM
M-Shark...your restraint is admirable;)
Posted by: Betsy | March 24, 2006 at 09:39 AM
Of course, "Tom The Toad" is sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree". Our Girl Scouts learned this song just in time to have banned-not P.C.!
Lyrics as we learned 'em:
Oh Tom the toad, oh Tom the Toad,
Why are you lying on the road? (repeat unless you're impatient)
You were so small
And green and fat!
But now you're big
And red and flat.
Oh Tom the toad, oh Tom the Toad,
Why are you lying on the road?
Just trying to be P.I. this morning!
Posted by: Curious John | March 24, 2006 at 09:44 AM
Frog motto: Time's fun when you're having flies.
**come on coffee, WORK dammit**
Posted by: fivver | March 24, 2006 at 09:44 AM
Why do I have Alanis Morrisette singing "Lets do it, Lets fall in love", from De-Lovely stuck in my brain.
Grrr I say. Grrrr
Posted by: Some_people_juggle_geese™ | March 24, 2006 at 09:50 AM
You're lucky SPJG - between this and the squirrel blog, I've got 'Muskrat Love' on an endless loop. AAARRRRRGGGGG!
Posted by: fivver | March 24, 2006 at 09:55 AM
Another toad pickup line: "Ever kissed a prince?"
Posted by: rita | March 24, 2006 at 09:57 AM
you'd think that by now the road would've been renamed Deadtoads' Lane.
Posted by: pepe | March 24, 2006 at 10:00 AM
For my part, I would like to make some sort of comment about "horny toads" but I, too, wish to begin my weekend on a positive note.
Posted by: Bill | March 24, 2006 at 10:07 AM
*snork* @ fivver for Frog motto.
:( @ fivver for Muskrat Love! Eeewwww.
Posted by: southerngirl | March 24, 2006 at 10:33 AM
SNORK@Curious John!
This is obviously a sting operation staged by the Deadman's horney toad make-out police.
M. Shark's reply to Betsy:
"That's not a restraint my lovely, I just brought it along to cover the gravel so we don't get small rocks up our butts."
Posted by: herb | March 24, 2006 at 10:38 AM
County Council Countryside Rangers would make a good name for a country a-capella four-man enemble group.
Posted by: Schadeboy | March 24, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Let me be the first to point out the obvious...
"Love Struck Toads" WBAGNFAn Alternative RB
Posted by: Idle Warship | March 24, 2006 at 11:05 AM
Why don't we do it
Like the toads?
Why don't we do it
Like the toads?
No one will be
Squashing us
Why-y-y don't we do it
Like the toads?
Posted by: Lair "Geezer Boy" bo | March 24, 2006 at 11:15 AM
CR - if you close Fait I'll have to take the long way to Safeway. Why not just go to the block?
Posted by: Kat | March 24, 2006 at 11:28 AM
Road closure... Or TOAD closure?
Posted by: Nateislate | March 24, 2006 at 11:34 AM
I gotta say, Hot Toad Lovin' W also BAGNFARB.
Posted by: TrillianAstra | March 24, 2006 at 11:46 AM
Good one, rita! *snork*
Some day my prince will come...
Also, I had an independant on-topic remark but after read all the posts I can't remember it. *sigh*
*wonders if toads lick each other during breeding procedure*
Posted by: Eleanor | March 24, 2006 at 11:50 AM
Kat - I won't go to the Block 'cause I will be using Lagers as my "breeding pond" and don’t want to be run over crossing the street. We have thought of installing a walkway, or zip-line from our house to the front door, but the funds we set aside for construction always wind up in their cash register.
(Stop out sometime, & I'll buy ya one or three!)
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 24, 2006 at 12:00 PM
In Dutchess County, NY, there's a place called 'Toad Hall.' I always wondered why it was named that until I drove by one evening in a spring rain. I thought there was something wrong with my car - thunk...clunk...gush...whap...sploit! They were hitting the side of the car, the bottom of the car, the front bumper...eeeeewwwww!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | March 24, 2006 at 12:52 PM
In Germany, they put up a little "toad fence" along the road with buckets set in the ground so the toads will fall in them as they go along the fence. Several times a day, they carry the buckets of toads across the road so they can get on with their "business". One year, they didn't get the fence up in time, and a couple of cars lost control on the squashed toads that were all over the road. ("squashed toads" or "buckets of toads" WBAGNFARB)
Posted by: Flash | March 24, 2006 at 01:00 PM
I live near Davis, California, which was the target of MASSIVE press coverage years ago when it built its 'Toad Tunnel' to facilitate safe local amphibian travel. It was the laughing-stock of northern Cal. at the time - toads and frogs aren't all that common here in the hot Sacramento valley and the overriding sentiment was one of 'Who gives a [!!]?'
Posted by: CandyTutt | March 24, 2006 at 01:55 PM
Maybe if we can get the snakes to eat the squirrels ...
Posted by: The Sarcasticynic | March 24, 2006 at 02:15 PM
The road covered in toads reminds me of a road I once drove on that was covered in Mormon crickets. Gross! I usually drive through Nevada in July or August and stop at a certain rest area that has the huge buggers (har!) flying around. I once drove through in early June, when the yuckies didn't have wings yet and were crawling all over the road. It was so gross. I had to reach in through to the trunk to get my icky old sneakers because there was no way I was going to wear flip-flops when there were hundreds of thousands of four inch long (those were the small ones!) crickets crawling around eating everything they could get to, including their dead comrades. ICK!! The lady I was traveling with decided to take a few home for her kids to see and grabbed an empty jam jar and scooped up three and a half bugs. When we got to the CA border there was no half, and when we got to her house there were two and a half left.
*shudders uncontrollably and the horrid memory*
blechk!
Posted by: Sarah J | March 24, 2006 at 03:35 PM
Mormon Crickets? Do they all sing soprano and alto?
Posted by: CoastRaven | March 24, 2006 at 03:59 PM
As far as I know there haven't been any Mormon crickets in MoTab.
Posted by: Sarah J | March 24, 2006 at 04:40 PM