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March 21, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

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Omigod, omigod, omigod! Britney got a haircut!!!! But did she get, like, a manicure and a facial, too? I mean, that's just, like, totally lazy reporting!

reminding the hairstyle?

Holy. Cow. What are the national security implications?

So the heck what.

She looks fat anyway.

*is pleased she didn't click the link*

Is it just me or is gravity already starting to have it's with Mrs. Federline.

I remembered!! Mousie before clickie!! Didn't get me that time!!

Yay me.

Ooh... something shiny...

Do you think I could get 250 a week from her like KFed - she probably wouldn't even notice and I would never, ever threaten to take my clothes off & she would never, ever have to sleep with me. (after all I'll do alot for money but there isn't drunk enough for that!)

Yeaaa for wolfie, Mr. C, and ME!!!

I'm so glad she have has had may must might done that!

she had to sell her hair?

gift of the Magi, 2006:

Brit: I cut off my hair and sold it on EBay to pay for major print ads in every newspaper in the country including the Christian Science Monitor, praising your new CD!

KFed: (scrawls painfully on a chalkboard) I sold
my vocal chords to pay for shampoo made from the sweat of Romanian gymnasts so you could wash your beautiful hair!

Brit: You sold your vocal chords online?

KFed: No, millions of people checked a box on their tax forms to raise the money.

SeanPreston: Could someone change my diaper please?

Words Escape me again. At least I learned to avoid those headlines.

Wait, now I'm confused.

Why is the scrawling painful? And who is going to read it to her?

maybe next, she'll manage to make it into a lingerie shop for a bra.

pregnancy/nursing has not been good to her boobs.

I dunno. I like her haircut. However, that's the only thing on her that looks good. Someone needs to tell her what Victoria's Secret is.

Aunt Nancy - Victoria's secret is that she's a slut. And it's no secret - have you seen how she dresses? Tsk, tsk.

Oh, and Tamara RWC - WHUTcdid you done did say???

Addicted may be right about gravity:
BEFORE.
AFTER.

Britney Spears had chopped her long blond locks into a shorter, soft curly bob reminding the hairstyle worn by Marilyn Monroe.

Reminded who of Marilyn Monroe's hairstyle? Or do they just mean reminiscent of the hairstyle? Who is the editor? And when will s/he be fired for thinking a) this was newsworthy and b) for imparting this brain deadening knowledge with improper grammar. I'm also fairly sure that 'has' was meant instead of 'had' but I'll let that one go, though I highly doubt she did the snipping herself as the sentence implies.

Thighs need to be shot here.

*end grammar nazi mode*

You are evil. I got tricked again.

Mr. C - I'm sure you've done your research on Victoria. But Twitney could use some help before one of her nips vaporlocks into her belly button.
...what that out loud? - sorry in advance.

Was anyone else injured when the storm blew through her trailer park?

Perhaps she was hoping for the Marilyn Manson look.

She looks like Courtney Love. Where's the bottle?

Coming soon to Wednesday night!

You might think that having to report on Britney's haircut is a low point for a journalist.

If so, you're wrong. Think about this...

"Johnson, get your worthless hack ass in here, pronto!"

"Yes, Mr. Crassnipples?"

"Take a look at the Global Trend of Greater Omaha. Notice anything?"

"Sears is having a sale?"

"Under that."

"Oh. Uh."

"Oh! Uh! Britney Spears got a haircut! A haircut! Do you see a column in our paper about that? Do you see a candid photo of her sagging nipples gracing OUR front page?"

"No, sir."

"That was a rhetorical question, you monkey's toilet wand! Of course you don't see anything in our paper. Because it's YOUR job to cover that, and obviously YOU weren't doing it!"

"But you sent me to cover the celebrity cat look-alike pageant at Oozing Junction."

"I don't want to hear it, you sack of metric flatulence! Go get me a picture of her baby smoking weed or clean out your third of your cubicle, got it!"

Ya know, Brit, you could have just taken the 50 mil Fed-duh-line spent, gone to the plastic surgeon and had those puppies pulled back up again, and then maybe dirty old men would find you sexy again.

*Snorks* to Y'all -- The right one must have been affected by her size one dress. Or maybe from her six-foot fall from grace?

"maybe next, she'll manage to make it into a lingerie shop for a bra."

Ever notice there are no "jockey shorts shops" for guys?

"Ya know, Brit, you could have just taken the 50 mil Fed-duh-line spent, gone to the plastic surgeon and had those puppies pulled back up again, and then maybe dirty old men would find you sexy again."

Wouldja say that "the litter turned them pointers into setters?"

Actually Pogo, here in Omaha (of all places) there was a men's underwear shop. Needless to say, it didn't stay open too long. Way too many homophobes in the Greater Omaha Metro area! :)

Pogo -

Yeah there do be jockey shorts shops for guys ...

It's the "six-pack" section of the FTL area in Waldo's ...

(And no, in this example, "FTL" does NOT mean "Faster than Light" ... merely sayin' ...)

I think it may be time (if not too late!) to explain to Brit the long-term value of a properly fitted support garment.

Charlotte - I would think it would also have a lot to do with the fact that us guys hate to shop for clothes, and going to yet another store for underwear is just not on our agenda when we're in Wally World for motor oil and spark plugs anyway.

SNORK at everybody, especially insom and pogo!

And Chianca -- MY EYES! MY EYES!! EWW!!!

Looks like "chopped" herring but just after someone forgot to gefilter the fish.

This kid doesn't walk in with the pitcher...

*SNORK* @ C-bol!

I've gotten better haircuts for probably alot less money (like, for free).
This pic lends hope to the fat fat fatty sisterhood, of which I am a member, that soon we shall have Britney too.
MWAH HAH HA!

She don't look too happy...not to equate fat with happy...she's a flab and a half, butt beyond that, she's not cheerful at all...hmmm.

Hooray. I can sleep happy knowing the latest on Brittney's hair. *rolls eyes*

BTW, what's wrong with a chunky booty?

Nothing wrong with it at all - nobody except the owner ever really seems to mind.

I do wish Chianca would stop posting my picture though.

Assuming she is nursing, either the chocolate or the vanilla needs some attention because it is definitely getting the short end of dinner.

that heifer is pregnant.

Maybe her timer just isn't working.

I think she's preggers too.

We have a BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN for Britney but not for this?

http://www.thefutoncritic.com/cgi/pr.cgi?id=20060321fox01

(Sorry, forgot how to hyperlink (again)).

God help us all.

NOOOOOO!!

Oh now, Adonis, that was just plain mean. :-)

I can live with the offensive imagery from Chianca, but Adonis - that was just cruel.

Tellin' ya people, got to mouseover. I won't catch you anymore!

The Blog ought to blog this one tonight, a la the weekly "24" episode. But would he have the stamina to endure??

Renee, et al:

I've never understood the concept of "Adult Contemporary" music. Are the "adults" in question the musicians or the listeners? And why is it "contemporary"? What will they call it when both the musicians and the audience are old and/or dead (I know, I know, "Classic Rock").

Lairbo - If the musicians aren't yet dead, I prefer the term "geezer rock."

I know why it's called "Alternative" - it's an alternative TO music.

Major snork @ fivver for 'Trailer Park Brit'

Pogp: Wouldja say that "the litter turned them pointers into setters?"

I snorked coffee through my nose all over my monitor screen.

$50M in 18 months!!??!! Dayum! Their accountant must be working overtime to document all of it.

and yet, she still can't remember to put on a basic foundation garment.

*resheaths claws, settles in the corner with a saucer of milk*

That must have been one extraordinarily expensive haircut. Judging from the photo, Mrs. Spears-Federline didn't have enough money left over for a decent, supportive undergarment.

Hey, I have sagging ta-ta's and a bad haircut! Could it be that I am the fashionista and Mrs. K-Fed is following my lead as opposed to the other way around?????? Course, I have 20 years on the tart.

One wonders what would happen if you used that FBI age progression software on her what you would behold. The horror, the horror.

I'm sure glad they spelled out Britney's name seven times in that article. Had they not, I would have SWORN that was Marilyn Monroe.

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