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March 27, 2006


This is why we do not allow our children to read Shakespeare.


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"I've found more than a hundred terms for vagina alone."

Do tell...

*rolls eyes*

So ... they finally figgered it out? ... and hadda use a computer to do (!) it?

I had a class of HS seniors who (when reading/hearing) studied Hamlet and they got all the "juicy" (!) parts (!) without any explanations from the teacher ... merely sayin' ... some folks take a long time to reach a conscious state ...

... and ...

ONLY a hundred?


Conversely, in retrospect, the Devil in Miss Jones was clearly an underappreciated work of literary genius that figuratively addressed the epic moral battle between one's conscience and one's inner drives.

*Heh, heh - I said retrospect*

LOL at everyone...especially Mme. Senechal (supply accents ad lib). Shakespeare would have doubled over in his doublets.
I hope they're keeping her away from the Chaucer.

...sexual innuendo, toilet humour and smut buried deep in the national poet's oeuvre

So... hanging out here in Club Dave is kinda like reading Shakespeare? How many credits per semester?

But soft Romeo. Wherefore shouldst I put thy carrot twixt mine cherry lips and caress thy stones. Wouldst thou be bumbling to find my buggle boe with thine own digits at the same time?

Something tells me phone s&x wouldn't have been very exciting in the Bards time.

ms. wassername needs a new hobby.

"To be [i.e., short for breast] or not to be [i.e., breast again]
That is the question [wanna...you know?]

I think Ms. Senechal's got a bit more smut buried in her own ouevre, IYCMD, than she's letting on.

*Do I get my diploma now?*

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on her hands.

**snork* @ Coast and applause for coming up with the appropriately versioned Shakespeare script this early on a Monday**

*goes for more coffee, is devastated to discover empty pot*

I knew there was some reason I really love reading "The Bard". I just couldnt put my finger on it. Until now.

Heh, heh - she said "empty"...and "pot"!

C'mon, I have work to concentrate on, ya know.

I know someone mentioned this, but I'm so dumbfounded.

She needs a computer to recognize double-entendre?

Maybe I could get that computer! Then I could screen what I want to say before I say it. That'd be useful.

Sorry. My innuendo is showing.

pssst, everybody, Blue said "c'mon," "work," and "on"

KDF - just make sure SomePJG doesnt put a finger inuendo!


Aww, Belgium! I'm too sublibidinal for my own good.

"And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" - Sigmund Freud

"And sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" - Sigmund Freud

Oh, it is not.

*rolls eyes*

Snork @ CR

*politely ignores CoastRaven*

Please, KDF, let's not overthink it.


No Kubrick fans out there? WTD?


Watch your mouth! This conversation was borderline profane to begin with, but language like that may just set off my Corporate Oversensitive Filter For Explorer Exclusions (COFFEE)!

The woman's got her head so far up her Manilow that she can see her Copacabana...

JT - didn't you hear Coast? Watch that language! Big Sister is listening.

But I bet she's enjoying it.

Ah, nothing like a good literary discussion to start the day.

Exactly nothing like...

Knowing how bad the B word is, I have often (okay, just once, a few seconds ago), wondered about the term "Belgian Waffle."

Oh, MacArthur Park it.

Who's enjoying it? The woman with her head up her [unspeakable word], or Big Sister?

Ya know Meanie - JT MAY have just found an even more offensive word than ours... Mr Adams just shivered in his grave.

Better cut that Honey out, JT! Dave and Judi won't put up with this much longer.

Who's enjoying it?

Well, I meant Big Sister, but I suppose the woman you mentioned might be enjoying it too, depending on her personal preferences.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Sheesh.

Moving on to other things, who do you think Jack is going to Oh-Mandy up on 24 tonight?

If BOTH of you dont Macarenan cut that out I am gonna beat you Brand New Key-less!

You're just looking to take one right in the Sugar Sugars, aren't ya?

I know what she means though. I just had my computer re-read Hamlet and it found the following coded iambic couplet:

What doth, forsooth, a young bipolar wench
When meeteth rugby leaguers from Maroochydore?

People forget that Shakespeare was writing for the filthy-minded groundlings. We're put off by all those thees and thous, but ol' Will wasn't above a little smut.

This article doesn't mention the infamous scene in MacBeth where the two guards complain that the drunker they get, the hornier they get, but the less likely they are to, um, be able to perform.

*Sprays blog with powerful new EarwigAway™. Penetrates deep into those hard-to-reach aural cavities for fast-acting relief*

I think she was reading the Kama Sutra and just had a Shakespeare book cover on it.

I used to do that all the time in my English Lit. class.
oops, did I just say that out loud? :-)

Note tongue emoticon, make of it what you will.

KDF, I'm out of coffee too.
To make another pot or not, that is the question....

the critic's statement is loaded with innuendo...
'If the best thing (p*n*s) you can say about a new edition(reproduction, hence s*x) is that it's(as in 'doing it') filthy, it(ibid.) doesn't say a lot. It's a gimmick(from the Olde English for 'giant breasts', an attempt(as in temptation) to grab(genitals) attention.'

She thinks it's news that Shakespeare is full of filth? If I can still dig up the cast contact sheet, I can show her about twenty-five former teenage actors who can save her a lot of work when she gets to The Taming of the Shrew.

*exchanges cancelled airplane ticket to Florida for one on next flight to su.so.ca, wraps fresh coffee and long-haired Johnny Damon pictures in attractive hostess gift packaging for Eleanor, speeds off to airport*

Gives a whole new meaning to "Hints from Héloïse," does it not?

I hope this won't get me "Bard" from future postings on this blog...

If music be the food of love, play on,
Though food seems not to mean what once it did.
I’ll never eat a carrot or a pie
But that I think anon of naughty bits.
And though I’ve found them tasty up till now,
A lime or fruit dish just won’t be the same.
And as for “buggle boe” what can I say?
I think I need the brain bleach straight away.

Nobody sexed up Shakespeare better than the writers of that one episode of Moonlighting...and if you don't know what I'm talking about, you aren't old enough to be visiting this site, shame on you.

and just yesterday an interviewer asked me what i thought of Shakespeare... I'm kind of glad I hadn't seen this thread til now, cos I bet "smutty" and "full of filth" isn't what she's looking to hear.

Just sayin'.

JT - Moonlighting "sexed up" just about everything it touched.

Yeah, even Cybill Shepherd...it'd be quite a trick if they could do that today. Brrrrr.

The difference between Shakespeare and Contemporary Smut (official gov abbvn - CONTEMSMUT) is that Shakespeare is also a psychologist, philosopher, and delicious observer of the human condition. Whereas if one looks for redeeming social or cultural value in, e.g., "Booby Sitter's Hot Orgy Pix", it'll take a while.

it's okay, I've got time.

ummm - Betsy? Could you tell me where I could find that title please? For completly camparative purposes you understand... Just so I know where you are coming from. Not that I want to see such a thing mind you.

English majors have to write Ph.D theses.This research is as good as any other on Shakespeare. Few would say:
"this field has not been plowed before."
I'm not saying this is tiresome,but most Shakespeare lecturers have to break the tedium with freshmen and sophomores with a few dirty jokes.Now, in today's world,we would want to see the members revealed.The beauty of Shakespeare and his severe doubts should be inspiring,his theatrics are known.

HEY JT, you got something against older women? Or women getting older? :)

Will you all just stop it! My boss thinks I'm working! Snork..Wheeze...Snork...HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I have that problem too Nancy, But most of my co workers think I am weird anyhow and don't even question me when I break out laughing.

Eleanor--nope, too informal, I'll be more polite--Miss Rigby, I have nothing against ANYONE getting older. I've been doing it all my life, and like getting older so much that I want to do it awhile longer. I'll just reiterate what I said earlier, with some help from this:


"But doctor, you're the one with all the dirty pictures!"

Hey, a guy I know has a friend who's cousin's step-brother heard a rumor that if you look for a very long time, there are one or two sites on the INTER-net that have dirty pictures--can you imagine?

I'm wonderin' if Wille Boy would've used the limerick form instead of the sonnet, he'd have sold a lot more poems ...

Methinks the lady doth find vulgarities in her alphabet soup!IYCMD

Actually she is right. Tom Stoppard built a career on it.

The good professor missed the next line of Flute-playing Thisbe: "'Ere once, at band camp.."

God is that guy who made me 83 years old. Way back in 1998 AD I registered OpeningPage dot com. Want it?

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