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March 31, 2006

AWWW

Wally the cat saves himself.

(Thanks to Claire Martin, who also sends this heartwarming pet story.)

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I'm first.

Woulda been a CATastrophe..sorry, I'll go...

It's too early to be funny... I guess you could say I'm CATatonic.

First of all, horses do not meow.

And cats don't whinny.

Talk about dog breath.

"Let me out NNNNOOOOOWWWWWW!"

I'm 100% supportive of the wall insulation industry's commitment to using recycled materials, but this is ridiculous.

*snork* at KDF

How did you know the cat was recycled?

Wally -- clever. I shouldn't mock, if had to name a cat pawing through sheetrock I probably would have called him Spackle.

Clearly, the prospective buyers should be suspicious when the builders failed to KILL the insulation before sheetrocking.....any amateur knows that.

Customer (on phone): Hello, Wallseal™ Insulation? You folks were here a few weeks ago insulating my house. The furnace is working much more efficiently now, but I'm afraid I have a complaint.

Insulation guy: What can we do for ya, ma'am?

Customer: How do I... well... what exactly did you spray into my walls?

Insulation guy: Ma'am, we use 100% recycled, pre-shed kitty fur in our turbo blowers. Blow it right up in 'ere. We find it makes a for a nice tight seal -- keeps things nice and cozy for ya.

Customer (shaking head): But sir, there's a cat in my wall.

Insulation guy: We do strive for a perfect safety record, but once in a while some of the friskier little fellas get caught up in the blower. We can send over a bag of kibble for ya, free of charge, but that's the best I can do, ma'am.

Customer: Uhhhhhhh..... I... don't...

Insulation guy, to warehouse guy: Gus! We got us a wall climber! Grab a bag out of the kibble pile and load it on the truck, wouldja?

so much for the all-cat version of The Cask of Amontillado

Oh, and why would the owner give the DOG "the kiss of life after she choked on a piece of meat"

Wait, oh, the DOG choked... ok...well be a little more clear next time.

But, just for future instances: If you DO ever find yourself choking on a piece of meat and the only one around to help is a dog - hope it's a hungry chiuhahua and shove him in after it.
(This advice not recommended by The American Red Cross, the AVMA or the NTSB)

So she cut away at the wall in a house she was touring. Since she broke it, was she forced to buy it? And how much did it set her back?

Pet CPR is big and getting bigger. I get calls occasionally asking me to teach pet CPR but I hold my classes to those dealing with humans.

Pet First Aid

Pet Dog and Cat Mannikens
another

And what was left out of the article is that immediately upon being freed, Wally killed the contractor, tore up the remaining particle board and peed on the couch.

You do not tick off the cat.

SN! *HISS SNORK*!

I hope the cat isn't going to be put down. That would suck, but at the same time be quite ironic.

"help, I'm stucco!"

"Hey, Ed, did you hear a hoarse meow?"

"No, but I heard a cow bark once."

Clearly, the prospective buyers should be suspicious when the builders failed to KILL the insulation before sheetrocking.....any amateur knows that.

Posted by: Punkin Poo | 09:56 AM on March 31, 2006

that is sooo wrong.

*snork*

and *snork* at KDF!

My question is...how do you put up sheetrock (wall board, drywall, what have you) without knowing there's a freakin' cat in the wall?

And let's just think about the dog issue, k? This ain't like kissing a person, now. We're talking sticking the entire snout in your mouth! And what if you got a drooler?

Wally.

Lame, very lame.

And *snork* at SN!! and KDF too!! And all.

*doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings*

*wide-eyed look*

"911 what is your emergency?"

"Hey, some idiot sealed me up in a wall"

"Are you okay, Ma'am?"

"It's SIR, and no, I am NOT okay. I have to wizz like a racehorse and my sandbox is 2 doors down"

"Your SANDBOX?"

"Yeah, I'm a cat."

*click*

~~~~~

*hits redial*

"911 what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, I'm at 29 Elm Street....there's a hole in the wall with a little pussy peeking out"

"We'll have 5 trucks there in 1 minute"

And to think I live 20 minutes from Collierville (they just opened a nice new mall there). *rolls eyes*

ha ha ha ha ha insom

"stucco"

Snorks all around. I'm glad the cat is re-covering his fur.

Question-inducing quote: He was spotted Saturday by someone touring the house.

Whut color was he on Friday?

As to the horse speaking cat ... mebbe it wuz learning a foreign language?

and ... in a similar vein, my youngest brother-in-law once asked me if I knew how to make cat bark or a dog meow ...

Well ... no ...

"First," he said, "you turn on the table saw, and when you slide the dog across it, he goes Mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooowwww!

"Then," he explained further, "you dowse the cat with gasoline, and throw a match at it, and it goes WUff!

(He wuz only about 12-years old at the time, so I think you should forgive him ... even tho he's 45 now ... merely sayin' ...)

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