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March 20, 2006



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That is good news. I think.

You now have a good place to send all the snakes and squirrels.

Not to worry, Dave, what with your 30 years of experience and all.

Congratulations, Mr. President.

"His work also included managing a multibillion government contract involving multiple infrastructure projects successfully in a war zone."

Dave Barry, this is simply outstanding and amazing!

Dave Barry in charge of the nuclear division? That could be Big Trouble!

Cool! Can we all get free nuclear services now? And are you going to use company resources to develop a nuclear oosik?

Why am I thinking of Homer Simpson?

Wow, think about how fast Dave can get his bbq grill going now!

it s*cks you having to report to mr. barfield, now get to work, those atoms won't split themselves!

" up and atom"


What a glowing review! have a blast in your new position Dave!!

be afraid, be very afraid

"Dave possesses superior leadership skills and project execution capabilities."


Qualities I look for in a President absolutely include the ability to turn GLORIA into a 8 minute homage to greatness....

Anyone else picturing Dave sitting in his home office and upon hearing this news he starts to drum his fingers together muttering, "Ex-Cellent!"

The Shaw Group Inc. is a leading global provider of technology,engineering, procurement, construction, maintenance, fabrication,manufacturing, consulting, remediation, and facilities managementservices for government and private sector clients in the energy,chemical, environmental, infrastructure and emergency responsemarkets.

And yet they can't figure out how to work the space bar on their keyboard.

Dave, please bring their PR person an extra spacebar when you arrive your first day.

*Ahem*... Not suggesting anything, grammer-wise, but doesn't "ANOTHER TROUBLING DEVELOPMENT THAT I WAS NOT INFORMED OF"...errr...end with a preposition??

tsktsk, That's called literary license. Pulitzer Prize winners are allowed to do that. :)

And may I also say,
Dave, we hardly knew ye.

tsktsk: Isn't it spelled 'grammar'? ;)

And Dave, if they send you pay checks without you having to do anything, I think it's amazing. Either way, update your CV as this is information that's sure to impress.

pssst, Dave, I got your back

Tsktsk, I believe the official Creative License Rule of Thumb is that it's okay to break the rules as long as you know the rules before ya break 'em. ;)

tsktsk --

My sentiments, exactly ... I think it should have been cast more as: Another troubling development of which I was not informed ...

Merely sayin' ... that you beat me to that one by a few minutes ...

Besides which already, they also misspelled "Nukular" ...

*reminds self for the 217th time to check for new posts before posting*

Sorry, El.


You (as usually) are exactically write!

I (for one) have allways managed to promote this doctrine ... I no the rulz, somewherefore, I kin brake 'em ...

Apparently the "Dave Barry for President" campaign has worked, but in a totally unforeseen way.

I'se the rulez knows I am.

AKKKK....honest, I really, really meant to say grammar...ummm...just like I meant to say proposition....

...retiring from the fray, suitably humbled...

Our Blog, a true Renaissance Man! I, for one, am exceedingly proud of your accomplishments!


Well, ending with a proposition comes from an entirely different rule book.

Prepositions at the ends of sentences, eh? Are you familiar with the classic case of the small child complaining about the bedtime book his mother has picked for him as a goodnight read?

"What did you bring the book I didn't want to be read to out of up for?"

Bill, my favorite spacelack in that release was the accidentally coined word "aseamless". It perfectly encapsulates the concept in the run-on.

YA got NUKEs you can pretty wll have any job you want.

"If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve."

- D. Barry

Damn, Dave. I didn't know you were that smart.

Wait... that didn't come out right. Uh... look over there! *runs*

Congratulations, Dave! My advice is to hustle on into the office, do as much WRONG as you can, IOW, do as much damage as possible as quickly as possible and then kick back and wait for them to fire you. Houston Chronicle Business columnist Loren Steffy wrote an article (just about a year ago) the gist of which was that there is BIG money to be made as a FAILED CEO/Executive. He gave a long list of examples of the obscene amounts of money being made primarily by various CEO's and former CEO's who have sent their companies down the crapper in some way or another. (I'm sure Presidents can capitalize similarly.) They are either given bonuses to keep trying to screw things up worse, or they are fired with a huge severence payment just so they'll go away. I know it would be hard for YOU (*ahem*) to take that kind of approach, but it wouldn't be any trouble for ME! Shoot, I know *I* could screw up a company like Shaw without even trying!

Anyway, I don't know WHY that article came to mind while reading this bit about YOU.... (*cough*) I'd send the link to you, but I think you have to be a subscriber to get to it. I can email the text on the sly, if you're interested in how others have benefitted from failure (TOTALLY anonymously, of course).

Good luck!


I think George may be willing to lend you his "Nucular Science For Dummies" book if you promise not to get cheetoh stains on it.

Oh, and by the way, this could really increase your presidential creds in Jimmy Carter kind of way. Well, okay, maybe not really increase.

Still, if it will help your campaign, I'd be willing to play the role of "brother who likes beer", and I think I can track down a fierce bunny to attack you. Her name is Sinaman Sweets.

Why are you thinking of Homer Simpson? The real question is... Why am I thinking of Jack Bauer?

Somehow, I think Dave will spend too much of his time making fun of Tim Barfield's name and too little time doing his nuclear things.


All your grammar rules are belong to us.

ok then, lunch on dave for everybody!

...he studies Brad's post of 12:33, examining it frontways and in reverse, plumbing the depths of all grammatical nuances, and concludes: "no doubt about it, apparently I have offended Brad in some manner".

Checks the WorldwideBlog guidebook, eyes immediately drawn to published attributes of Dave's Blog, notes that characteristics include "humour, gentle spoof criticisms hopefully accompanied by good humour and some degree of wit and just all around good fun".

He remains puzzled, and decides to alter his identity in the hopes of providing some degree of abject, humiliating apology to Brad, as well to cloak himself in complete anonymity...

I work in the global nuclear power industry, and I know Mr. Dave Barry, and YOU, sir, are no Dave Barry!

*snork* at artistfkatsktsk.

I dare ya to say that 3 times fast!

AFKA tsktsk,
relax. set a spell. the blog n its denizines are very forgiving of grematicle eroar. trust me;)

Dave you quite the column for this??? What has the world come to

Sprechen sie Deutsch?

"Better active today than radioactive tomorrow"

Reminds me of a comment I heard years ago, about an engineer: "He's a nice enough fellow, but I'd sure hate to see him working with subatomic particles."

We all know that Dave's just a figurehead. Sophie's the one with the real power!

tsktsk...That post was an example of the grammatical rule that you can obviate the effects of ending a sentence with a preposition by the simple expedient of tacking on a vocative noun, as in,
"Little Timmy! Your paper says your cousin is your favorite person to go to the circus with. You can't end a sentence with a preposition."
"Ok, Miss Smithers. 'My cousin is my favorite person to go to the circus with, b*tch!'"

artist formerly known as "tsktsk", what betsy said. The other joke is the Texan who goes to Princeton. Asks a student, "where's the bathroom at?". Student informs Texan that "here at Princeton, we do not end our sentences in prepositions". Texan ponders a moment, then asks student "where's the bathroom at, asshole".

Thought everyone knew that as joke #27.

Betsy & Brad:

Tks for the grammatically (and atonomically as well) correct 'splanation. I am greatly relieved, having thought that I had inadvertently run afoul of some "codeword" or "secret handshake" type of blog regulation.

In acknowledgement, I will slighter later my current cloaking identity in order to reflect my educational failing with respect to standard joke #27 (we don't go up to that high a number in Canada)

And why is it considered poor taste to end a sentence with a preposition?

For the same reason that very and quickly are considered the same part of speech.

For the same reason English teachers don't want you to ever split an infinitive.

That's the way Latin works. After all, all good anglophones speak Latin.

Kongrats, Herr Dave! Does zis mean zat you vill be leaving ze Florida fur ze Stuttgart?

apparently you were never informed either that you named me in your will to inherit ALL your talent, and your entire collection of radioactive oosiks.

Does it bother anybody else that not only have they hired Dave Barry as their president, but they are apparently unable to spell or punctuate?

Our nucyoolar industry is in safe hands fer sher.

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