24
Here is where I believe the situation stands: Following last week's gas attack on CTU HQ, the Hobbit is dead. So is Tony, who is not to be confused with Tony Soprano, who is in a coma after getting shot by Uncle Junior. In addition, many nameless CTU staff extras are dead. Edgar also remains, tragically, dead. Audrey is still alive, prompting us to wonder where Uncle Junior is when we need him. Jack Bauer is also still alive and now holds the world indoor breath-holding record. The terrorists still have something like 18 Killer Kanisters, and evidently they will stop at nothing in their cruel and inhuman quest to make this particular plot thread last for the rest of this season. The president of the United States contunues to be a big girl's blouse and a complete handbag. Speaking of which, this item is still only $10.
Having missed the last two weeks, I'm depending on you keen observers out there to explain what is happening tonight. Since I have no idea what's going on, rather than put my clueless updates here in the main section, I'll put my comments down in the comments section, where they will mingle freely with yours. So I hope everybody is wearing protection.
Blah blah the Wet List blah.
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:42 PM
O the U, RIGHT!
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:42 PM
That's a Jack-fact!!
Posted by: bizrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:42 PM
Now you know how Buchanan feel like, Miss Hayes.
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
repercussions! kinky :)
Posted by: judi | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
This is great dialogue, isn't it?
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
Repercussions!!! No!!! Not repercussions!!!
Posted by: Betsy | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
What repercussions? Like pretending I'm dead again?
Posted by: Stevo | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
FINE!!!
Posted by: jim | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
Is Jack shining a flashlight on his own face for dramatic effect?
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
Ha! Jack wins round 1
Posted by: wolfie | March 20, 2006 at 09:43 PM
You all realize Palmer's Bro was on "Buffy". He can SO kick ass. I'm just sayin'...
Posted by: baligurl | March 20, 2006 at 09:44 PM
I think she's gonna send him to his room when he gets back.
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:44 PM
I don't like the connotation of this Wet List.
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:44 PM
Jack got to pat down Colette.
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
Everyone's gonna fight to frisk her...
Posted by: bizrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
Jack check her holster...slowly
Posted by: Cheesewiz | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
You have my permission. But be careful the tests have not been finalized yet.
Chloe just needs to give her boss the German stare.
Posted by: Alfred | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
he didn't get to shoot anyone! damn.
Posted by: judi | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
no shootin' yet - how about torture time
Posted by: Brad | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
Jack took a little extra time searching her leg....
Posted by: Aubrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
YEAH!, now THATS a professional frisking
Posted by: MoFaux | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
... THEN CALLED ME A GIRL OR BROKEBACK!!!! AAAAHH!!!
*boom*
*mushroom cloud emerges*
heh heh. Take that Andy, atomic chicken.
Posted by: Adonis | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
the staging area?????
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:45 PM
That's for sleeping with weird accented scruffy looking guys, you French named, wrong accented terrorist helperess!
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
awesome music
Posted by: Salamander | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
Der Sucker!!!
Posted by: bizrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
Har! The old exploding memory chip trick!
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
SUCKER!
Posted by: Wes S. | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
jack you sneaky devil! heh.
Posted by: ShutUpChloe | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
Dave, aren't most of the roads in Los Angeles shut down by traffic jams almost every day anyway? I've never been there, but the rumor is that driving in LA is nearly impossible on a good day.
Posted by: Jessica R. | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
He who sparks last laughs last.
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM
that jack. he's such a tricksy trickster!
Posted by: judi | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
now we're gonna get a very chinese like german subplot. damn it
Posted by: homeybeef | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Moohaha! Great going, Jack! Feeling Colette's thigh, and blowing Desmond's mind...er...memory stick.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
so the chinese and the germans are now after Jack?
Posted by: Salamander | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Dummy!
Ya can't put an xD card into an SD slot and then pretend to be surprised when it burns up ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
That explains what happened to my last pda. Faulty JackChip.
Posted by: wolfie | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Was that sparkler chip from his secret knapsack too?
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
Jack should have rigged the PDA to shoot him in the thigh
Posted by: Jerry | March 20, 2006 at 09:47 PM
that was some BADASS music in the background during that whole sexy colette exchange.
Posted by: jeese | March 20, 2006 at 09:48 PM
Also? Jack Bauer can kill you with his brain.
Posted by: Jason | March 20, 2006 at 09:48 PM
the german dude is maaaaaaaaaaaad and dead
Posted by: horselover | March 20, 2006 at 09:48 PM
i really think jack was just inspecting her thigh to see where he was going to shoot first
Posted by: mnich | March 20, 2006 at 09:48 PM
OK, we are nearing the end of this episode facing a very real possibility of no violence. You read about this kind of thing, but you never think it's going to happen to you.
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:48 PM
good thing jack always carries an exploding SD card with him
Posted by: homeybeef | March 20, 2006 at 09:49 PM
Wait til he gets Colette back to CTU...you reckon he'll...torture...her?
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:49 PM
I'm going to make an exploding version of everything I own.
Posted by: 2.0 | March 20, 2006 at 09:49 PM
notice how anything important on this show dies/blows up?
Posted by: Salamander | March 20, 2006 at 09:49 PM
who isn't after jack - including Canada and points north
Posted by: Brad | March 20, 2006 at 09:49 PM
Was that really Desmond?
I was wondering where he went when he ran off into the jungle.
Posted by: Aubrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
Yeah, torture ... like his yelling at her, pretending he's really REALLY mad ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
I vote that Chloe gets to shoot the home security wench in the thigh. Her lazer vison can't seem to get through the forcefield...
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
Dave...violence is like sex, when you aren't having any, you talk about it.
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
Volvo, if you are reading this blog (and you know you are): Your current ad campaign bites.
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
Don't give up hope yet. It's never too late for a thigh shot or an attempted razor-blade eye-ectomy.
Posted by: Betsy | March 20, 2006 at 09:50 PM
I am right, after all, the dead electrocuted rat in Prison Break was a more violent episode than Jack and the exploding PDA chip...so far. Of course, 24 can still kill somebody like Curtis off for fun.
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:51 PM
Adonis...remember who you're dealing with...the "Jack Bauer of the Blog"™!
Moohaha!!! I bet you'd love to be chained up like Colette in front of Jack!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | March 20, 2006 at 09:51 PM
shoot her in the thigh
Posted by: horselover | March 20, 2006 at 09:51 PM
Jack and Colette, sittin' in a cell....
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Colette wants to talk about...feelings. Jack wants to talk about Bierko. Typical Venus/Mars delemma
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Jack knows what he WANTS her to want!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
GO Bucket! Right there with ya!
Posted by: baligurl | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
everyone wants immunity signed by ze pres.
Posted by: Salamander | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
HEY! I AM for sale , lady!
Posted by: MoFaux | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
My she has a very firm policy.
Posted by: wolfie | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
a schematic!!! What kind of schematic??? who cares!!!
Posted by: Betsy | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Uh oh, not schematics!
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Why is Jack believing her at face value?? Shoot her wife in the thigh Jack!!
Posted by: bizrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:53 PM
So, I have been reading the comments for the past 20 minutes...sound like BLAH BLAH BLAH canisters, BLAH BLAH Wet List...BLAH BLAH...no stabbing no shooting no show ... glad I missed it. Now I will go watch 2 1/2 men on the DVR and have a few chuckles.
Off Topic: Anyone here homeschooling? email me.
Posted by: Jessica R. | March 20, 2006 at 09:53 PM
Wow, Jack has lots of seconds from Curtis.
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:53 PM
Independent contracter? Yeah, you can always believe them!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 20, 2006 at 09:53 PM
This is the worst episode in like, weeks.
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
Commercial breaks account for so much yappin'. If I could hear the TV from the computer room...
Posted by: baligurl | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
Home lans security lady gets all the good likes today. *yawn*
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
HLS doesn't like surprises, Jack.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
I'd love to be tied up with Collete...
And just admit fault already!
Posted by: Adonis | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
I think Jack should torture Colette.
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
homeland security are a little mean
Posted by: horse lover | March 20, 2006 at 09:54 PM
Sumpin' gonna happen to Brother Palmer
Posted by: Aubrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Finally! Some violence!
Posted by: Wes S. | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
LINES, lines, lines and Land land land!!!!
Posted by: Bucket | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
violence!!!
Posted by: Salamander | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Race car noises. That'll liven things up.
Ooh a crash!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
It certainly is taking Wayne a LONG time to drive into the compound...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Why didn't he just slam on the brakes?
Posted by: Momanon | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Was that the A-Team in that van?
Posted by: LucyVanPelt | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
There goes the Prez Palmer's bro.
Posted by: daisymae | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Oh yeah, good thing for Brother Palmer that the VP ain't up to no good...
Posted by: bizrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
Damn, his car is beaten out by a van?!
Posted by: Glow | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
So he's going to take her word about not knowing what the diagram was for without even raising his voice? And he shot JoBeth Williams just to make a point? Weak, Jack, very weak.
Posted by: ShutUpChloe | March 20, 2006 at 09:55 PM
the only shooting was a tire? dang!
Posted by: Brad | March 20, 2006 at 09:56 PM
Everyone looks confused, including us here
Posted by: Stevo | March 20, 2006 at 09:56 PM
AWWWWWDRAYYY!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!
Posted by: Betsy | March 20, 2006 at 09:56 PM
WHAT?????!!?!
Posted by: homeybeef | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM
AUDREY!!!
Posted by: Dave | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM
NO FREAKING WAY
Posted by: judi | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM
ACCCK! AUDREY!
Posted by: LucyVanPelt | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM
AUDREY!!!!!!
Posted by: Aubrey | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM
Cool! Jack's going to shoot Audrey!!!!!!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | March 20, 2006 at 09:57 PM