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March 20, 2006

24

Here is where I believe the situation stands: Following last week's gas attack on CTU HQ, the Hobbit is dead. So is Tony, who is not to be confused with Tony Soprano, who is in a coma after getting shot by Uncle Junior. In addition, many nameless CTU staff extras are dead. Edgar also remains, tragically, dead. Audrey is still alive, prompting us to wonder where Uncle Junior is when we need him. Jack Bauer is also still alive and now holds the world indoor breath-holding record. The terrorists still have something like 18 Killer Kanisters, and evidently they will stop at nothing in their cruel and inhuman quest to make this particular plot thread last for the rest of this season. The president of the United States contunues to be a big girl's blouse and a complete handbag. Speaking of which, this item is still only $10.

Having missed the last two weeks, I'm depending on you keen observers out there to explain what is happening tonight. Since I have no idea what's going on, rather than put my clueless updates here in the main section, I'll put my comments down in the comments section, where they will mingle freely with yours. So I hope everybody is wearing protection.

Comments

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Tropic Hunt Guy (tm) - I used the e-mail address at the bottom of the Tropic Hunt page (I changed the Subject line), since it was officially related to the Tropic Hunt!

Steve, got your email. I'm replying from my clandestine account. I need to keep it secret from the likes of Adonis, or else she...er...HE...will keep pestering me...

;)

I'll reply back from my other email address. :)

If you think some "clandestine" account could stop me if I really wanted, you're dead wrong!

What'd I miss?

*reads Steve's recap*

OK, got it. My daughter got here 2 days early so the snow storm wouldn't strand her for spring break.

DOES SHE NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ON MONDAY NIGHT?!?!?!

Sheesh! Kids.

Okay, Adonis...send me email...to the right account!

DAMNIT! STOP THAT!

I know i'm late and no one will read this, but i've got a few comments:

First, Dave I totally agree with you about the Volvo commercials, they totally suck. It's a shame too, because I own one and it's not nearly as crappy as they make it out to be.

Second, still on the subject of cars...How the hell did the A-Team catch up with Wayne? He was diving a highly tuned German/Japanese Luxuary sports sedan and he got outran by a big freakin van? Either Wayne doesn’t know how to drive, or I need to trade my Volvo in for a late model dark blue conversion van.

Finally, I'd like to say that i think wayne will find a way to survive, because if he doesn't they will be required (by law i think) to introduce at least one new black auxillary character. Either way though i think curtis is safe for the next couple of seasons now that president palmer is out of the way. Also, it just occured to me that CTU is in LA and they don't have a single hispanic character in this show? I wonder how many letters they've gotten about that?

Lightbulb! We need that Asian dude from Lost to replace Tony's dead Hispanic presence. Then 24 would have gone totally 'United Nations' for broke. Oh wait, we're missing Marwan. Dang, dang, dang. I still miss Marwan. Maybe they can bring back the son...I always wondered what happened to him.

A few thoughts:

Vice President Scary MUST be in on the whole Plot of Evil-Doings and Badliness®. How else could the A-Team know that President Allstate's brother was on the way? Vice President Scary is a bad, bad man.

Looks like the tree shrew is more trouble than we thought. Maybe she'll resist Jack's demands for information next week and she'll be forced to remember just how good Jack is at this whole torture thing. Did she already forget about what Jack did to Paul with the wires from the lamp? Silly, silly tree shrew...

Instead of saying that he knew what Jack's word was worth, German Secret Agent Man should have just said something ominous and vaguely threatening like, "Just remember: ve Germans are not all smiles und sunshine."

Chloe is so awesome. Spilling liquid on Homeland Security Jerk's pants? Priceless.

A few thoughts:

Vice President Scary MUST be in on the whole Plot of Evil-Doings and Badliness®. How else could the A-Team know that President Allstate's brother was on the way? Vice President Scary is a bad, bad man.

Looks like the tree shrew is more trouble than we thought. Maybe she'll resist Jack's demands for information next week and she'll be forced to remember just how good Jack is at this whole torture thing. Did she already forget about what Jack did to Paul with the wires from the lamp? Silly, silly tree shrew...

Instead of saying that he knew what Jack's word was worth, German Secret Agent Man should have just said something ominous and vaguely threatening like, "Just remember: ve Germans are not all smiles und sunshine."

Chloe is so awesome. Spilling liquid on Homeland Security Jerk's pants? Priceless.

CURSES!

Sorry about the double post. This infernal Interweb drives me crazy sometimes.

The van outran the car 'cuz whathisname is a doofus driver and din't you hear those special sound effects when the van driver tromped on the gas? It musta had about 900-hp with a double turbocharger and jato ... merely sayin' ...

Also, mebbe Marwan has a twin brother?

I agree with Dave, the 59 more tedious minutes were well worth the excellent revelation about Audrey at the end. I just hope it's true. I guess I've gotten used to having some episodes be "connectors" between the more action-packed ones.
I do like some of the Volvo commercials though...esp. the platypus one. The Volkswagen ones, however, really suck.

Wow... another episode down. At least Audrey's finally going to get some heat for being such a crybaby, but I bet they'll find out somebody framed her (my money's on Vice President Evil-Pants).

Somehow, I think Chloe must be related to Jack. Think about it: Jack can get any person to talk. Chloe can get any computer to give up its most secret information. Their children would be unstoppable... or at least weird homicidal computer geeks.

And Jack, if that German guy won't let you help recover his mission, you can come help me find a mission. I still trust your word. *wink wink*

If Jack and Chloe had children, they'd have some major scowls going on.

Time to go huntin', Jack.

Ok. I missed last week, but it is becoming more and more difficult to stand by and allow the writers to tell me how dumb I am. ONE hour ago, a bunch of nerve gas was released at CTU, killing half the employees, the other half being ziplocked into a room with a separate air supply, the ziplock seals having some magical sensors that tell you when they're corroding. Ok, whatever. Once Chloe, Jack, and the dead Hobbit managed to figure out what to do, it only took 15 minutes to decontaminate CTU? Ok. It's nerve gas. Fast-acting and deadly in confined spaces, but easily diluted out and neutralized by ventilation. Sure! We'll see how that fact pans out in the next episode when 200,000 people are supposed to be killed by the stuff. So what, did it then take about 30 seconds to remove all of the bodies in time for last night's episode? Who removed them? Was the hungry CTU dead body removal team unleashed from their pen?

Adonis...report to the infirmary...don't make me come get you.

Leetie, I'm a chemist. Try not to think about the real world in "24" or it will make your head hurt. Things not to think about:
1) Aerosolized nerve gas residue EVERYWHERE--like computer keyboards...
2) Removing bodies killed by Centox with normal body bags and no hazmat suits (absorption stops soon after death)...
3) Centox produces the same symptoms as Mentadent peroxide toothpaste...

Now MY head hurts.

Allen, me too. I've actually worked with VX! Once.

Great comments everyone!

I'm still confused about something, tho.....isn't Aaron at the White House? Isn't he supposed to be having a clandestine meeting with Palmer brother? Why is Palmer brother in LA? Did I miss something??

Awwwdrey? Awwwdrey?! Up until this point, Jack shooting people in the thigh and torturing them has just been warming up music for what he'll do when he sees Audrey next.

Rather ironic, isn't it, that Collette was betrayed by her lover Desmond. "Who ARE you, Theo?" she asked as he turned her over to Jack. And now Jack is wondering the same thing. (About Audrey, not Desmond/Theo.)

I'm still trying to figure out how Aide to President Weenie can be in handcuffs surrounded by Secret Service guys and be hanging from the ceiling fifteen minutes later NO LONGER IN HANDCUFFS! and no one seems to find anything unusual about this, not even the First Lady.

Leetie, if you continue to infuse 24 with realism, we will be forced to put you in the cage with Audrey. We will then shoot her in the thigh every 15 minutes so that you are forced to hear every whimper. The blog knows that Jack is The Man and we do not question his Manliness

If Jack's related to Chloe AND they had children, I think they'd have worse problems than scowls.

So, predictions, anyone?

Does it worry anyone else that the Evil Veep is giving off far-too-obvious evil vibes to be actually evil? I'm worried that he's a Red Herring of the First Order, and someone else at Faux Camp David may turn out to be the baddie.

If they make Aaron or the First Lady evil, I'm shooting everyone in the thigh, indiscriminately.

Predictions?

In the immortal words of John Maynard Keynes ...

The Market ... will ... fluctuate ...

Renee--
I thought about that after I posted and went to bed. Maybe I'll settle for Chloe being Jack's long-lost sister or something (no spawn involved). *shrugs* anything's possible with this writing crew.

The more I think about it, the more upset I am over Tony's death. Nothing against Edgar, may his oversized body rest in peace with the Twinkie in the sky, but why does he get a silent clock but Tony doesn't? Tony's been Jack's right-hand man for ages. Tony's gotten shot, stabbed, blown up, and everything and STILL comes to work. Edgar lost his mother to a nuke and that's about it.
Not to mention the way he died. Isn't that stuff he got injected with the same stuff they've been pumping into evil Robocop? He took like 10 doses of it and still managed to fake a coma and run off! Like I'm suposed to believe that would kill Tony!
I have come to the conclusion that they killed Tony for one reason only: The writers felt they had to kill off someone as much or more loved than Edgar to follow up the previous week and Tony was the only one besides Jack (and maybe Chloe) who is liked as much as Edgar.
I swear, I'm one canister away from personally ensuring than 24's writers will not survive to write again. Reprecussions? Fine!

great commentary steve!

Hey everyone!

Not sure if you guys are aware of the "24 Fan Phone." For more info, check it out on Wikipedia.com because I'm too lazy to try to explain it.

Anyway, so I called last Friday 3/17 and actually got to talk to Jon Cassar (Executive Producer, Director) for 15 minutes! I held back screaming "WHY THE EFF DID YOU KILL TONY! WHY THE EFF DIDN'T YOU KILL AUDREY? I'M GLAD THE HOBBIT IS DEAD!!!" so the conversation went pretty well.

Check my URL...I blogged about it.

Dave, as always, LOVE your site. Please don't leave town again....or else more people on 24 are going to die (unless I can get some guarentee that it's Audrey or Kim...in that case please go on another trip!)

Dave (In case you are still reading),

If you didn't see last weeks episode, you missed Chloe's best line ever.

When Kim asks her how she is doing, Chloe replies, "This morning, I woke up with a strange man in my bed, who I will probably never see again, and I just watched my best friend die. So... not so good."

Chloe will never see her bed again?

(Merely commentin' on the misplaced antecedent usage ... I'm assumin' your quote was the way she said it ... I, too, did not see that episode ...)

The whole Audrey thing is either a tease or it's ridiculous.

I'm writing a new fanfic based on this latest twist, if anyone is interested. Hope it's ok to say that here.

Not sure if anyone's still reading, but I wanted to report that one tv guide's reporters said the following on their web site today:

I'm 90 percent certain Audrey is not a traitor. Her father, however, is another story.

Daddy Devane is back this season, hopefully to do to Audrey what he did to her brother last season.

Oh, and Suzy Q - the Prez and VP, First Lady Crazy and Secret Service Aaron are all in LA as well. They're at some kind of presidential retreat.

Another day....another fan phone conversation : )

I finally got the answer to the two most important questions ever in the existance of "24"--

Q: "Where's Behrooz?"
A: "He's finishing High School"

Q: "Where's Jack's man-purse?! Where'd it go?!"
A: "He left it in the car. They will be united later on."

Phew.

And of course...I blogged about the convo : )

SONOFAGUNN!!! FREAKIN' President Manalow is a Freakin Terrorist! I hate that dude. I wish He went down in a plan last season. I bet his little advisor guy who hung himself earlier in the season corrupted Marilow...

I think the show has just gotten better.

Cause now Jack must Kill the President.
Oh yeah....it's either death for jack, or regicide (or treason if you prefer.

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