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February 01, 2006


Reason number 93

(Thanks to Tamara Rhymes With Camera via someone called "Mimi Smartypants")


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I'm getting the eggs and bacon on now...

Didn't they already warn guys that this could happen to their own eggs?

I wonder how long it would take to defrost a turkey. Start now for Thanksgiving!


Did someone post this from 1960?

So do we think 'Suzanna Decantworthy' is a real name? In any event, she should be doing wine reviews...

*SNORK* at insom!

*looks around*

Where's insom? Or are you just snorking now to avoid the rush?

Go to the hardware store? Check your user manual? Cooking time is proportional to the inverse square of the output power for a given distance from egg to phone?!!
Uhh. Wouldn't it be MUCH easier just to learn how to cook an egg the normal way?

I am so going to try this after 9:00 tonight, or maybe on the weekend...

a haiku:

cell phone egg cooker
snork now to avoid the rush
insom, what a card

"Or are you just snorking now to avoid the rush?" -- *double-snork!*

I... I... I got posted! I stole a link from Mimi Smartypants, and I got posted!

Judi, you're a sweetheart! :)

'Suzanna Decantworthy' = "I am full of crap"

looks like i know what my kid can do for his science fair project this year. THANKS!

Somehow I think ya gotta be a little cracked to come up with an idea like that. And a little scrambled to try it to see if it works!

Some things to think about here:

1. Mobile phones cooked a chicken egg in three minutes.

2. Antenna of said phones were approximately an inch or so away from the egg.

3. Relatively speaking, when talking on said phones, antenna is also approximately an inch away from our brain.

So the obvious conclusion is...our brains are made up of chicken eggs!

The technician in me is very skeptical about this cooking technique.

Congratulations Tamara RWC!

Schadeboy-I think that logic is sound.

slyeyes - I was just avoiding the rush....you know he's workin' on something funny. And I wanted to see if anyone noticed I was faux-snorking. Nice catch.

Annie - ain't it a little early to be hittin' the sauce?

And then you have these people who say it's not possible to cook an egg with cell phones. But what do they know? They're not even conspiracy theorists! Heck, they're probably the same people who think that squirrels are cute, docile creatures who have no terrorist instincts what so ever.

A couple of weeks ago I saw the guy from the "how stuff works" website on Oprah. He said that radio waves are passing through our bodies ALL THE TIME.

If they can cook and egg in three minutes, I shudder to think what my computer screen is doing to my face--RIGHT NOW!

Make that "an" egg.

Instead of having to use 2 cell phones of two watts each wouldn't a single 4 watt light bulb be easier?

Good save, AnnieWBH!! :)

Did someone post this from 1960?

Posted by: slyeyes | 01:34 PM on February 1, 2006

No, sly. They posted it from a planet called "UK".

um, describes the antenna as 'that pokey thing on top?" um, but tells you how to cook with phones? WTF?
please, i need to pack heat in case i come across these MORONS anywhere.

These are British cell phones, people... They may be on a different wave length - and judging from the hi-fi reference, I do believe they are....

From the directions...
"8. Cut out these instructions for future reference."

DAMN - Now I got a big hole in my computer monitor!!!!

new saying:"That person talks so much he could hard-boil an egg."

For annie-w-b-h...

("Annie's Song" by John Denver)

You "snork" at my postings
When I haven't made one.
Now, that kind of pressure
I really don't need!
A guy can get anxious
'Bout all kinds of performing
Though it's really quite flatt'ring
It's confusing to read!

If this actually works, wouldn't it be like microwaving an egg? And doesn't that result in the egg exploding? Poor poor college student... goes to all the trouble of getting extra wood scraps from his local hardware store (!), only to end up with egg on his face.

*I am so going to try this after 9:00 tonight, or maybe on the weekend...*

Not me, I'm clear I'm NEVER trying this.

"Faux-snorking" - giggle, Annie

24 catch up ketchup catsoup

Basically the mole got caught and told Jacky B and the Presedent everything. Because, of course, Jack was holding a razor sharp eye ball gouging knife up to his, yeah, eyeball. Moley gives the president a lame excuse about the nerve gas being in a contaner ship headed for souther china/asia. CTU boards the tanker and their is nothing there but empty nerve gas cases and a dead guy. That's about it. ohh yea and the Presedent finally believes his wife about the David Palmer/Phone records consperacy theory, and doesn't send her to the nutty house..... Hope you didin't want to watch

24 catch up ketchup catsoup

Basically the mole got caught and told Jacky B and the Presedent everything. Because, of course, Jack was holding a razor sharp eye ball gouging knife up to his, yeah, eyeball. Moley gives the president a lame excuse about the nerve gas being in a contaner ship headed for souther china/asia. CTU boards the tanker and their is nothing there but empty nerve gas cases and a dead guy. That's about it. ohh yea and the Presedent finally believes his wife about the David Palmer/Phone records consperacy theory, and doesn't send her to the nutty house..... Hope you didin't want to watch

given the technical information provided in this encrypted recipe, i'll have to shoot all of you in the thigh. i'll have to shoot judi, too, although it seems a such a waste of a nice lady. but then, i'm not known to be nice, am i?

real *snork* at insom this time. I used to like that song....sigh. And I really did just want to see if anyone was paying attention. I did it on another thread and no one said anything. But you can't pull the wool over slyeyes. *sheep jokes, form a line here, please*

tck - no sauce, just whipped cream.

"24 catch up ketchup catsoup"

it's...Monday?...in India...(scratching head)

*BANG* @ Bodhi B. wrong thread, dude

Annie ~ sauce, whipped cream, whatever. It's 5:00 somewhere!

(btw - I caught your (not you're)faux *snork*, but since we're friends, I chose not to call any attention to it)

daisy' - I'm thinkin' that guy is a DB blog hater.

Can I get a shot at him ? Pleaseeee ? You said I could !

Maybe he's a mole from the blog last night...here to wreak vengence

southerngirl - I figured you would be too classy to mention it.

Annie - I noticed both times but assumed the blog was moving posts around again. So neener! ;)

Also, my posts are never funny, just because I want to see if anyone notices. No, really!

Annie - I SAW your ghost *snork* the last time... checked all the e-mail addresses of the previous posters to find insoms snorkworthy comment... didnt see insom... chalked it up to me being either new(ish) or certifiable. But ya had me running for a few minutes trying to catch a snork. Kinda like the snipe hunts my big brother took me on as a kid. I could hold that bag SOOO steady!

T RWC - I've noticed that also, but figured no one said anything since they found out how cute you look. Your posts are funny, though, since they change the tempo of the thread.


ROFL, Annie!!!

Camera. You are sorta funny. At least your name is, but we are keeping score on you.

Annie and whipped cream - hmmmm

*thinking of numerous possibilities*

Sorry, CoastRaven. I didn't want to waste anyone's time. I'd better rethink that joke.

*snork* Thnx, Annie - I think. ;)

Texas - Then you've noticed...[adjusting garter clips] ...that I have no trouble scoring. Wait, I'm getting myself mixed up with Punky. Again. (I love when that happens!)

I keep a catalog of all of the posts each person makes and use them to rank everyone from funniest to least funny. Then I only read the posts from the top four people. Saves me lots of time.

It wasnt any more of a waste of time than any other workday Annie. Just kinda left me with a hollow feeling since I didnt get my snork. :-(
You know - kinda like when ya eat the last cookie and dont REALIZE it was the last cookie.

I would say that I do the same thing Lab does, but I never read his posts.


(Jumps into a cold shower thinking...I am a married man. I am a married man.) Don't do that to me Tamara !


I'm a Tamara RWC fan. I laugh.

Hey, T___, yew got anythin' stashed in them gartas?...like mebbe guns or sumthin'?


*now thinking about Annie and Tamara and whipped cream*

Coastraven - I HATE that feeling!
Lab - you're scaring me. I didn't know I was being graded.

Hey, T____ d'yew jest snap yor garta?

*oh, and garters*

"y'all are just my kinda odd. I kinda like it here."

*The proceeding quote has been stol...um, I mean borrowed from CoastRaven.*

(Sorry, CR, but I liked it and thought it should be repeated!)

W'ere ay cum from, gurl, yu kin git arristed fer snappin' yor gartas!

Speshuly, ifn yu got fararms stuck inem.

You guys are always so sweet to me. And you know I'm a sucker for attention. *swoons*

Ok, so, what's in my garters, you ask? Let's see!
[lifts skirt, runs hands along left thigh]
There's nothing in my garters!
But that's not funny, so let's try the other leg!
[lifts skirt, empties garters]
Oooh, Punky's phone number!

Annie: C-

*all brain function ceases*

Hey, Lab, is that on a sliding scale...?

Proud to have a my comment borrowed southerngirl!

*blinks at TRWC*
*grabs egg cup for fivver to drool in*

somebody mentioned whipped cream?...
*accidentally pours whipped cream on Tamara*
*accidentally spreads it all over*

Heh..sorry Tamara..it was an accident

ahem - I seem to be sweating again - not the uncomfortable sweat I had trying to refrain from listening to Daves song earlier. This is a pleasant kind of sweat - you know - the kind that Rhymes With Camera

Hurry up in that shower, Tex.

BANGI! *tackles Bangi in a whipped-creamy hug* :)

wow...we've drifted far afield from cooking eggs with cell phones

*remembers to breathe*
*wide-eyed staring*
"I should, um...I've got a meeting, and - er (trailing off)"

Betsi - shhhhh - this is important, uh, research


This isn't really too surprising, considering the fact that you can, in a pinch, when no other means of cellular communication presents itself, stick your head inside a microwave oven and cook on high for 2 mins.

You'll need to know the phone number of at least one cell phone, though.

Preferably, one owned by a coroner.

Hurry up in the shower guys..Tamara and I need a bath
*winks at Tamara*


"What's that crackling sound?"
"Oh, you didn't know? Bangi sizzles."
"Must be the whipped cream."

*snork!* 'Nite, Bangi! :)

I love that girl!

Diner Waitress: What'll ya' have?
Customer: Two eggs over easy, please, slow cooked by a pair of cell phones.
Waitress (shouting, to cook): Two cacklers on hold!

*I love Dinerspeak*

This cold shower is not doing ANY good.

Tex - That's 'cuzza whatchyer doin' in there.

Does it help to know I'm not really wearing garters today? Because I didn't feel like washing the laundry?

Fun fact: I'm going to be single soon.
Funner fact: My kitchen floor is crunchy.
Funnest fact: Those two items may be related.

No, that does NOT help.

Ok. Now I feel better. (Climbs out of the shower)

*contemplates moving to Georgia*

Rice Krispies on that kitchen floor?

I think this is actually whimsical, not accurate. If true, Stephen King and James Frey should BOTH be on Oprah. "So, Steve, it turns out that cell phones DO microwave your brain. We didn't realize it was non-fiction. I feel...sob...cheated."


"You got truth in my fiction!"

"You got fiction in my truth!"

Two great...[blah blah blah, joke over!]

OK, all of you who've earned it: into the doghouse. You know who you are.

*sigh* I miss all the fun going to school.

I hate to add a semi-serious note to this blog but
A) this WOULD make a wonderful science fair project
B) has anyone actually tried it?
Science fair season is upon us up here in the Great White North and (let's cut the cr@p and admit it) harried mothers everywhere are trying to out do one another. It would make me terribly proud if my daughter would be able to credit Dave's blog in her bibliography.

I carry my cell (not sell) phone in my pants pocket. Does that now explain that nice, warm feeling I get when Mrs. PirateBoy calls me?

And a serious aside: I suspect this will not work on the US "CDMA" common type of cell phones, due to frequency and power limitations. I believe that domestic phones here are right around 800 milliwatts. Europe uses GSM phones, which talk via satellites, and have output power typically the 2 watt range.

(I'm also an extra-class amateur radio operator, not that it means anything)

Well, PB, if you get the same nice, warm feeling when the IRS calls then, yes, otherwise, no (unless Mrs. PB works for the IRS).

Island Red - not sure how old your kids are, but my third grader just did a mini-science experiment about static electricity. He took a balloon filled with helium on a long string, rubbed it on his head, and by using the static electricity charge on the balloon, raised the balloon to our ceiling. he then proceeded to clean the cobwebs off the ceiling. For the tough ones, he added some sticky tape to the top of the balloon. Nothing exploded, it was cheap, no trip to the emergency room, and I now have a clean ceiling.

Lab' --

Who are the other two?

"This is your brain.
This is your brain on a cell phone.
Any questions?"

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