Dave Barry's Blog: WE DON'T MEAN TO BE CYNICAL, BUT

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February 24, 2006

WE DON'T MEAN TO BE CYNICAL, BUT

...it'll never last.

(Thanks to M. Rosenberg)

Posted by Dave on February 24, 2006 at 02:27 PM | Permalink

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Top Africa Headlines Now (on the side of the page)
"Shell told to pay Nigeria $1.5bn"

The moral - Screw a goat and pay 50 bucks... screw a country and pay 1.5 Billion.

Posted by: CoastRaven | February 24, 2006 at 02:31 PM

ahem - and I modestly reafuse to comment on my third consecutive meaningful... well you know *blush*

But I will say *snork* @ TRWC

Posted by: CoastRaven | February 24, 2006 at 02:33 PM

Nor will I comment on my spelling capabilities.

Posted by: CoastRaven | February 24, 2006 at 02:33 PM

Eh, she could do better than him.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 02:35 PM

Sometimes, CoastRaven, you really get my goat.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 02:37 PM

OK, is anyone else thinkin' this is horribly unfair to the goat?

Posted by: TCK | February 24, 2006 at 02:44 PM

>> "let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Not true. He had sex with the goat; he didn't have the goat do his laundry.

Posted by: Nateislate | February 24, 2006 at 02:46 PM

Nate - nor did the goat make him breakfast in the morning, drive his children to soccer games, or nag him for being out late with the boys.

Well...maybe the nagging part...if it was a nanny goat.

Posted by: Schadeboy | February 24, 2006 at 02:47 PM

TCK - I am.

*snork* @ Annie

Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | February 24, 2006 at 02:48 PM

I wnat to make a funny comment, but this speaks for itself really. I mean, I had to check the date to make sure April hadn't arrived already this is so ridiculous. Excuse me while I e-mail that link to everyone who has ever given me their e-mail address. And some who haven't.

Posted by: KOW | February 24, 2006 at 02:48 PM

I applaud this solution. Maybe next time he'll pick a more attractive animal.

Posted by: Eleanor | February 24, 2006 at 02:50 PM

getting married was as easy as falling off a goat!

Posted by: insomniac | February 24, 2006 at 02:54 PM

Schadeboy:

They'll need a nanny goat when they have kids.

Posted by: Lairbo | February 24, 2006 at 03:05 PM

TCK - how often have you felt that way? ;)

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 03:11 PM

That is a really cruel twist of feta for the goat..

Posted by: Sean | February 24, 2006 at 03:11 PM

I still think the goat could do better.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 03:12 PM

just this once Annie - other times, well, I figure the goat pretty much had it comin'

Posted by: TCK | February 24, 2006 at 03:15 PM

Maybe they should make HIM become the wife of a goat.

Posted by: Sean | February 24, 2006 at 03:16 PM

It's usually about here where somebody comments that he or she sees nothing funny about this article.

Posted by: Dave | February 24, 2006 at 03:23 PM

I see nothing funny about this article.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 03:24 PM

1. Nate, I just laughed so hard, I have tears in my eyes.

2. Dave, I love you just the way you are.

Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | February 24, 2006 at 03:26 PM

So in Sudan, evidently this is OK, as long at you pay a dowry. Hmmm.... (scratches Sudan off my list of places to go on vacation)

Although, divorce would be economical. Imagine the following conversation:

Man: How was your meal?
Guest: Fine, thank you.
Man: You know, that was my wife.
Guest: What!
Man: Had some of the best years of my life with her.
Guest: What!
Man: But after a while, we just grew apart.
Guest: What!

But maybe that's just my warped sense of humor.

Posted by: Pablo | February 24, 2006 at 03:47 PM

I see nothing funny about this article of clothing.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 03:47 PM

Annie - I have an eerie feeling that you just won (not one) Dave ten bucks. I picture him sitting back drinking a beer and saying "Hey Walter watch this. I bet you ten bucks I can get them to say anything I want them to" then he posted his note. Dont ask how Walter made ten bucks to cover the bet!

Posted by: CoastRaven | February 24, 2006 at 03:50 PM

CoastRaven - maybe everyone gave Walter a dollar. ;) You are most likely right about the bet. But since Dave's probably putting on a birthday party for a 5-year-old without maternal assistance, I figured I'd humor (not hummus) him. Just as long as Sophie gets the pony named "Joy" that she wanted.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 03:56 PM

Such a baa-aa-aa-ad boy.

It's hard to type a goat impression...

Posted by: Bumble | February 24, 2006 at 04:09 PM

Somehow this reminds me of Britney and the goat she married.

Posted by: Cheesewiz | February 24, 2006 at 04:16 PM

Holy mother of Elvis..someone call PETA

Posted by: insolentwench | February 24, 2006 at 04:17 PM

Is the goat the first or second wife? Can you imagine being second wife to a goat. That would really put some dahla in my ghee if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Somewhere North | February 24, 2006 at 04:18 PM

Aren't their kids beautiful?

Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 24, 2006 at 04:19 PM

take 2

Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 24, 2006 at 04:23 PM

a hiaku:

super bowl party
call the deaf and dumb couple
they're a load of laughs

another:

I swear Officer
I just don't know what happened
It wasn't a fart

one more:

shrapnel imbedded
yet they survived the big boom
darwin was cheated

Posted by: mudstuffin | February 24, 2006 at 04:59 PM

hey... this is probably still legal in the state of washington. (i'm referring, of course, to a link i referenced yesterday. here it is again, in case ya missed/over-looked/chose to ignore it):

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=30811

there's a little break in the article, but don't let that stop you from.... er... scrolling down to read it all. then be afraid. be very afraid. for there are people out there who will not only marry an animal... but have sex with it, as well. (shudder)

Posted by: puppytoes | February 24, 2006 at 05:19 PM

Uh, Mud...? Wrong thread, I'm thinkin'...

NTTAWWT.

Posted by: Mr. Completely | February 24, 2006 at 05:31 PM

You know. When I heard that they where making a movie about Cowboys and sheep I figured this would happen...

Posted by: Alfred | February 24, 2006 at 05:40 PM

I don't know Mr. C - this one kinda applies:

I swear Officer
I just don't know what happened
It wasn't a fart

wellll - maybe not

Posted by: TCK | February 24, 2006 at 05:54 PM

Thank you puppy toes I now love living in Seattle. Maybe my boss will stop being an... Never mind.

Posted by: Alfred | February 24, 2006 at 06:02 PM

Ah yes, the Sudan, where men are men and goats are nervous.

Takes the attention off sheep-herders. Nice work.

Posted by: Hanna | February 24, 2006 at 08:16 PM

huge snork @ hanna!

I bet this guy was totally embare-assed. If he had internet access, he would be even more humiliated. I mean, both BBC and the esteemed DBBlog covered his 'indesrection.' I bet dirty talk for goaters will change though.

"Hey baby, I've got a PROPOSAL for ya."

Posted by: adonis | February 24, 2006 at 08:35 PM

Ya, know, I don't understand the problem.
It's not like they were second cousins or something.

Posted by: igloo | February 24, 2006 at 08:36 PM

That's just plain sick.

Posted by: Wavey | February 24, 2006 at 10:01 PM

Actually it's more than plain sick, it's extra special fancy sick, with goat cheese on top.

Posted by: bbescuela | February 24, 2006 at 10:32 PM

So, was his pickup line somethin' like ... Me Billy, you Nanny ... ???

Posted by: U.O | February 24, 2006 at 10:38 PM

Wham, bam, thank you, lamb.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 24, 2006 at 10:58 PM