WALTER UPDATE

Mr. Gene Weingarten is visiting Miami, and as you can see is deeply impressed with my oosik.

Comments

[Betsy]

clark...as nearly as I can remember, Simon didn't directly make anyone cry, although the fact of being chosen/not chosen unleashed floods of weeping from both winners and losers. I don't actually remember Randy saying "dawg", except in clips from previous shows. And, um, lessee, the Twins, as you may know, were both disqualified for their individual and/or collective rap sheets (fraud, forgery, self-righteous pontification); and the skinniness-challenged girl forgave Simon, citing the precedent of Christ on the cross, and he hugged her.

On other topics:

Happy birthday to Mr. C, along with my personal assurances that 49 is nowhere near a reason to get depressed. (You can get depressed when people observe your birthday by saying, "Gee...he would have been [fillintheblank ]years old today, if only he hadn't suffered that tragic oosik accident.")

And congratulations to Bumble for the A+ on the accounting exam, although I feel the same affection for accounting that I did for my three quarters of statistics.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

If anybody needs a laugh, this was a really, really fun and funny day in blog history.

[Blue Meanie]

Tamara - that clip was crying out to be saved.

And thanks for introducing the new Classic Blog feature.

[Somewhere North]

Tamara - are you saying you are tired of the oosik conversation and are reviewing the archives? You can come on a pillaging and looting crusade with Coastraven, C-Bol and I. We were going to start in Washington but it turns out they have nothing we want so we figured we'll head down to Hawaii and loot there for awhile unless we get distracted by the Bellinis and beer.

[Bumble]

Betsy~ I'm not fond of it, but since I have to do it, I'm glad that (so far) I'm doing it well. Thanks. :-)

[Annie Where-but-here]

Oh, great. Gene shows up and Dave ditches us. Nice! A pox on their oosiks!

...sure could use a Happy Hippo about now.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

"We were going to start in Washington but it turns out they have nothing we want"

*snork* :)

[angene15]

Ah yes, the pre-Rhymes With Camara days.

[angene15]

*camera*

[Somewhere North]

You know, cruising through that year old thread (yes, I'm bored) it is truly alarming to see how many comments were indirectly about American Idol contestants. Apparently we are having the same conversation. That means I'm a year older and the only thing I've learned is the meaning of Dirty Sanchez.

[CoastRaven]

Hey yeah SN - I think Hawaii would be a great place to start looting! Especially since they steadfastly refuse to harbor ANY walruses as a native species, and therefore are oosikless heathens. We shall plunder all of their fancy umbrella drinks in coconut shells. Force them to perform sunset luaus, and introduce them to the Holy Wayz of the Walter!!!

[Bangi]

I had 2 of my best teachers ever for intro to accting and business law :D

*avoids glare from El and Bumble*
congrats Bumble

and Belated Happy Valentine's Day

[Bangi]

*sets up Flag stores*

Lemme know whn u start burning flags SN

[Somewhere North]

Coast - I am very glad, honored etc to have you along as we invade and conquer Hawaii because of their refusal to acknowledge walruses as a native species. And don't accept that 'its not cold enough for them' excuse! I believe we now everything necessary for a bona fide religion - the holy book - ie: Dave's blog, sacred implements - the oosik, traditional garb - the coconut bra and the banana sling and even a good ol' religious war.

I'm going to now attack a few margaritas just to show my outrage over... my outrage... um... my...Can I get another drink here?

[Somewhere North]

Bangi, we can begin as soon as I've finished my drink.. er...drinks. Be right there.

Can I get someone to draw a cartoon of Walter to get some interest among the bloggers in this little drinking spree.. I mean religious war?

[Eleanor]

{{{Bangi}}}
There is NOTHING that you could EVER say that would draw a glare from me because I lv u.

SN - I'd like to joing the crusade as soon as I finish shopping on line at Albertson's (I have a coupon), which has the s-l-o-w-e-s-t web site in the universe and when I had to call because it froze, I mentioned how slow it was and the answer was, and I quote:
Yes.We.Know.
Ok then.
So I'll be back when I finish, hopefully before the end of 2006.

And
*snork* at queensbee*

[joe]

gene looks like that actor who endorsed Cheetos back in the '70's.

what was that guy's name?

[Somewhere North]

Eleanor... it is kind of one of those you have to be truly dedicated to invade, rampage, pillage, burn down assorted buildings, drink excessively while wearing inappropriate clothing and dancing the laua on a tabletop with exotically attractive men and/or Walter etc. Not something you can put off, if you know what I mean.

[sthnbelle]

Well, if you're invading HAWAII, count me in! I know the 18 inches of snow we received last weekend probably pales in comparison to some, but I'm ready for some sun, please! Pass one of those coconut-shell drinks this way, SN, please.

[Somewhere North]

Sthnbelle - my pleasure. Would you like an exotically attractive man with that coconut drink?

Glad to see your devotion.

[sthnbelle]

Lovely idea, thank you. (as long as all he is wearing is one of the previously mentioned banana slings)

And pardon me while I go shed the parka for some more appropriate garb. Might the bikini pictured on C-bol's blog be appropriate?

[southerngirl]

drink excessively while wearing inappropriate clothing and dancing the laua on a tabletop with exotically attractive men and/or Walter etc

S'North ~ lookin' for one more? I'm ready to sign up!

And please pass the margaritas.

[Annie Where-but-here]

As much as I love these guys, I think Dave and Gene might be a bad influence on Walter. Maybe it's time he got a real job - workin oosik

[Somewhere North]

Sigh.. you've all restored my faith in the spiritual devotion of our nation.

*hic*

[Eleanor]

OK! I'm back, I'm dressed inappropriately, and I'm ready to go. I had to call Albertson's can we put them on the pillage list, please ONE MORE TIME and when I again mentioned how f&&king slow the web site is, the new reply was, and I again quote:

Yes. Especially on days when we're doing maintenance, like today.
OK then.

Let's Roll!

[random thunking]

WARNING for Bumble, First and foremost congrats on acing your first account exam. But let's be honest here, they ask questions like:

Suppose you wnet to the store with $5 in your pocket and oranges are 3 for a dollar you buy 6. How much do you have left?

On the second exam they ask questions like:

What is the effective tax rate on debentures held in escrow? Assume alternative minimum tax rate applies.

My advice: go buy Dave's book and cite it as a reference when answering questions.

[Mr. Completely]

Noob - I would *oof* thank you, but I'm *oof* trying to get out from *oof* under everysandwich's pile-on.

*gasp*

Tell your daughter "happy birthday!" from me. *oof*

[Somewhere North]

Eleanor - we'd be delighted to pillage Anderson's for you. Bangi - please light an appropriate flag on fire. I'm thinking maybe Sweden's? We're all out of Danish flags.

We're going to be holding the Annual Holy Oosik Pillage and Plunder Festival down by the sand dune... just look for the cow on a spit. C'Bol will be doing the Holy Banana Sling dance for us with a chorus line led by Southern Girl and Sthbelle followed promptly by another round of Sacred Tequila shots.

[Eleanor]

*sigh*

I guess Dave is too busy "playing" with Gene to give us any new posts.

Where's judi??

Paging judi, paging judi, are you playing with them too?? Can't you come and play with us??

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Dave: “Gene, they’re calling you. They want to talk to you.”

Gene: “I don’t want to talk to them.”

Dave: “It’s okay, they’re harmless. They do this to me all the time.”

Gene: “But Tuesdays is my day to talk to people. Besides, they’re strange.”

Dave: “Have you SEEN the picture I posted of you this morning?”

*pause*

Gene: “Hello bloglits--happy Thursday.”

(This is not meant to in any way suggest that Gene is strange. Just that he may be more like us than he’d care to admit.)

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

C'mon, give it up, y'all! That old thread was funny. The infomercial? Classic. The part where I pull back the wrong curtain? Pure comedy, people. I mean, that is comedy.

Bo knows comedy.

*slips on a banana peel*

[queensbee]

thanks lisa!! i'm sure gene woulda said that if he thought of it, right... and yeah, dave, you still playing w/ your friend... didya forget us out here... i mean, we do have each other to talk to... but the weirdness out there is mounting.....and needs to be posted!

[Bumble]

Bangi~ I'm not glaring; if you had good teachers in those classes, I'm happy for you. :-) My Accounting teacher is awesome, but the Business Law guy is terrible. Haaaaate him. And thanks.

[King Wingbipeekaboo]

Mr. Gene: You give a new name to the color purple as a fashion statement. And that name, of course, is: Suicidal.

[CoastRaven]

*steps back in after setting fire to an unholy pineapple stand (after first securing a few of said atrocities for ornimental drinks for the ladies)*

queensbee - YES the wierdness out there is definately mounting, and the wierdness in here is fast moving off the scale. Part of me in the deepest darkest recess of my mind pictures Dave, Gene and Walter sitting back with some beers, watching the mayhem unfold here, and laying bets on how long we go before Dave (or Walter) actually has to fuel the fire with a new post... my money sez Walter wins the pool. Oh yeah -- and they have judi tied up to a post so she cant post anything in the meantime.

[Blue Meanie]

And we're up to the challenge, CoastRaven! And as I leave for my twice daily transportation nightmare, I ask you: are you related to ToastROven?

[southerngirl]

*choke, snork, gasp*

LOL @ Blue Meanie!

[The Good King Wingbipeekaboo]

The Good King has a toaster oven. Mainly he uses it for Pop-Tarts.

[Eleanor]

Dave heard us!

New post - hooray!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Annie WBH-That workin' oosik is different from Walter. I'm tellin' ya, Walter is unique among oosik. I never noticed it until today.

Tamara RWC-Your archival post was very funny. I laughed at "the curtain" and and I also laughed at C-bol's transfats from Heaven.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Lisa - that is one smooth oosik, isn't it? No wonder it works in a bar. In comparison, Walter's got a bit of a bulge around his middle. Guess he could work it off.

[southerngirl]

Bo knows comedy.

*snork* at TRWC

that's what she said!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Annie, smooth yes; bulge yes--but there's just something almost indescribable (meaning, I'm not going to describe it) about Walter.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Please? With low-brow humor on it?

[Bumble]

random- Har har. I only wish it had been that easy. Journal entries, adjusting entries, worksheets, financial statements, closing entries, debits=credits, assets=liabilities+stockholder's equity, normal balances, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! No more! No more!

*sits in the corner to whimper about the upcoming business law exam for awhile*

[Poop "Da Popp" Dogg]

So Dave, where's the rest of you?

[Stupendous Man]

Gene to Dave: "You know, if Walter was just two inches shorter, he'd be a perfect oosik."

[Stupendous Man]

I clicked on TRWC's archive link and got the link as well as this:

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Tracked on Feb 1, 2006 10:22:05 AM

All I can say is WAIT A DARN MINUTE!

[Chuck]

I'm sorry. I still don't know how to do the linking thing right yet, but here's the last time Gene held dave's oosik. It feels like it's been a month. uh..wait a minute....

http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/2006/01/oosik_update

[U.O]

Yeah, that trip down memory lane wuz sorta fun ...

Happy B-day, Mr. C ... (see you Satuday?)

[Blue Meanie]

Chuck - paste that address between the quotes below, and replace link text with something descriptive.

<A HREF="">link text</A>

[Chuck]

like this?

previous pic of Gene w/Walter

[Chuck]

COOOOOOOL!!!!

Thanks Blue!

[Mr. Completely]

U.O - Thanks, and yup.

[Hanna]

CB'er handle--the "polished oosik?"

"Hi Polished Ossik, what's your ten-forty?"

"What? No, only 30 inches. You're lookin' fer my cousin, Humungous Oosik."

Polished Humungous Oosiks! WBAGNFARB?

[kibby F5™]

Chuck, Italics and BOLD are by using "i" and "b" repsectevly in the same format as the link.

Demonstrate all 3 and earn the html Merit Badge.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Note: The previous pic was Gene holding his own oosik, "Tiffani"--not Walter.

Thank you.

[EB]

Gene - a multiple choice Hypochondriac Question:

What is the single greatest cause of Hematochromoatosis??

a. Too much iron

b. Not enough hemmorhaging

c. You get it from too many X rays.

d. It make you "twirl" in the MRI machine, and iron particles fly out your nose.

e.Don't be ridiculous, all of the above are absolutely true.

F. None of the above are True

g. Cheap wine

h. What???

i. All of the above will make you die.

[My Spin On Things]

"My Dad's Oosik is better than your Oosik" Sorry I couldn't resist:) You left yourself wide open:)

[My Spin On Things]

Wait wait -- that shoulda been "Bigger" not "better" -- all I know was my mother was horrified when she saw it as my father pulled it out of his suitcase from one of his many trips to Alaska (he worked on the pipeline in Valdez).

And you know to this day, that damn things sits on the mantle???

[denise gomez]

how is hugh jackman doing with his wolverine origins movie.i hope he is doing good