THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Even for them, this is low.

Comments

[spinner8]

According to a graph included in his presentation, birds caused over 400 transmission line faults in 2000, but the incidence appears to have dropped since then.

There is no higher calling for a graphic artist than being asked to design a graph to show the African Bird Poop Powerline Faults of 2000. After you've done that, everything else just seems meaningless.

[CoastRaven]

Yeah spinner - they had to come up with a graph that showed that incidents of droppings dropped on transmission lines causing a drop in power have dropped. Thats why I dropped out of GA school.

[Bumble]

We spend our tuppence a bag to feed them, and this is how we're repaid?

[CoastRaven]

Nice Sound of Music ref there Bumble - I knew I liked you for a reason.

[CoastRaven]

YES I KNOW its really Song of the South

[CoastRaven]

I mean Snow White

[CoastRaven]

or maybe Robin Hood?

[slyeyes]

*Thinks she sees a Mary Poppins reference, but isn't going to argue the point.*

[CoastRaven]

THATS IT!! Mary Poppins yeah yeah Mary Poppins! Now what brought that up again?

[Stupendous Man]

Now I see why tourists en route to the Dark Continent are advised to always wear a hat...a really BIG hat.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Pardon me, do you have any African Grey poop-on?

[Bumble]

*sighs and shakes head*

CoastRaven, next time you come over for foot massaging duties, you're going to get some serious musical/Disney education.

[Eleanor]

At least it wasn't squirrels!

Mary Poppins - I love Mary Poppins, thx for the earwig Bumble and I mean that in a good way!

*zips out humming*

[Betsy]

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in poop.
The bird who sits upon the wire
Points to those who favor fire.
But having sat upon my stoop
And knowing what I do of birds
I find I that I must favor poop:
Aced out by turds,
We'll fly the coop.

[Kev]

Any idea what the "veld fire" mentioned in the story would be? All this time, I didn't think that veld was flammable...

[sparrow]

Bird poop causes power cuts - I think not. Signed...

[Betsy]

I think that "veld fires" are like "prairie fires". As for power cuts, we all know it's the squirrels as is behind it all.

[Robert Frost]

It was just pointed out to me that some interloper has been posting cheap knock-offs of my works under her name. A pox on her. *grumbles off to build fence higher*

[sparrow]

squirrels...that's right! Signed...

[Eleanor]

...and miles to go before I sleep....

[nicole]

So, those are power lines? I always thought they were just gigantic bird perches.

[CoastRaven]

Seriously - I really do know my Disney Musicals (NOT Broadway musicals). I have to rent one of my nieces every time they rerelease one so I can get into the theatre.

*praying no one took him seriously*
*praying for foot massage duty*

[Bumble]

CoastRaven~ You may resume your duties. But we're watching 1776 or Les Miserables while you perform them, and that's final.

[CoastRaven]

I'll be watching YOU Bumble! You watch what ya want.

[Bumble]

CoastRaven! You naughty boy. I'm shocked.

But go on... ;-)

[queensbee]

well, here's a new industry needed then... bird diapers. and then people to change the diapers, etc. seems to me there's some golden opportunities out there.

[Stupendous Man]

When I owned a radio station (an AM station), the tower was the antenna. The tower was less than a mile from Lake Okeechobee. Ospreys would bring their fish kills to the top of the tower to dine and drop fish parts and osprey poop around the base of the tower. At the tower's base was a lightning arrestor with two parts, a ball and plate, arranged about a quarter of an inch apart. If lightning struck the tower, the arrestor intercepted the incredibly powerful electrical flow; it jumped the gap between ball and plate and was bled into the grounding system. When bird poop, fish parts, the occasional lizard, the more occasional frog, or the rare insect made the mistake of providing the connection between ball and plate, they were instantly fried in place interrupting the station's signal. I would have to run to the tower base with a non-conducting bladelike apparatus and sweep it thru the gap to resume broadcasting. It was also interesting to note that some fish parts were fairly aerodynamic and , when dropped, would "fly" from the top of the 300' tower about 150 feet to the East ending up on my pick-up truck. Meanwhile, a friend's father lived due south of the tower on the lakeshore. One day, after retrieving his mail, an osprey, no doubt on its way to my tower, lost its grip on a mullet. Imagine the elderly gent's surprise when a half-pound mullet, still alive, hit him in the back of the head!

[Betsy]

Stupendous Man...damn! You've got an amazing history! (I hear Edward R. Murrow started out the same way) P.S. I'm not quite sure I believe that 'mullet' story -- is it true, or a veiled reference to hairstyles?

[Stupendous Man]

Hi, Betsy! Glad to see someone paged back to read that story. It's all true...and it wasn't a hairstyle. It was a real mullet, the original chicken-of-the-sea. Mullet are the only fish I know of that have a gizzard. Among us oldtime Florida residents, mullet and mullet gizzards are considered a delicacy.