THIS CAN'T BE GOOD
(Thanks to KCSteve)
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(Thanks to KCSteve)
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I warned mankind that no good would ever come of letting stars sance on TV.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 22, 2006 at 02:37 PM
What's next, chicken fingers?!
Posted by: Brainy Jello | February 22, 2006 at 02:37 PM
At least it's dead and won't be breeding Mutant Alligator Chickens!
Posted by: Sarah J | February 22, 2006 at 02:39 PM
I would think the chicken's lips would have hidden the teeth. "Scarcer than hens teeth." (old folkism)
Posted by: pogo | February 22, 2006 at 02:43 PM
I once managed a restaurant. One waitress that worked there used to write "Chicken Snake" when she meant to be ordering a "Chicken Snack". I, of course, made fun of this, making hissing sounds, elaborately avoiding walking near a plate of chicken, etc. When I later fired her, she accused me of discrimination.
Good times.
Posted by: mudstuffin | February 22, 2006 at 02:46 PM
Perhaps it's "The Mark of the Beak"?
Colonel Sanders was truly a great man for his efforts to save us from them by slaughtering and frying these vicious monsters.
Posted by: Gonzo_Jones | February 22, 2006 at 02:48 PM
so why are we wastin' our time trying to grow chickens with teeth? ya cut the heads off anyway. if they could grow a chicken with four drumsticks, well then they'd have done somethin' worth braggin' about
Posted by: TCK | February 22, 2006 at 02:52 PM
Gonzo, my compliments. Reading that story all I could think about was 11 herbs and spices... Thank goodness the good Colonel had the sense to slaughter the little beasts, aye?
Posted by: DDi | February 22, 2006 at 02:57 PM
'Nevertheless, the underlying genetic mechanism that produces teeth in mice, alligators and mutant chickens remains the same.'
Something to cling to in these troubled times.
Posted by: Betsy | February 22, 2006 at 02:58 PM
We could grow mutant chickens and have them invade France or French Canada. Most of the country would immediately surrender anyway and the remainder would be caught trying to make a sauce out of the chicken stock.
Posted by: Texas | February 22, 2006 at 02:58 PM
(With apologies to Bobby Boris Pickett)
I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
The chicken on my slab had lost his beak
And suddenly - I really freaked
*He did the gnash*
It was the bird flu gnash
*the bird flu gnash*
It was an avian smash
*He did the gnash*
In a blast from the past
*The bird flu gnash*
He had enamel held fast
Out from his beak grew a little spoke
Which birds only have when their in the yoke
Alligators have teeth that grow like it
So when you prick your finger it hurts like **it!
*It was the gnash*
He did the bird flu gnash
*the bird flu gnash*
It was an avian smash
*He did the gnash*
In a blast from the past
*The bird flu gnash*
He had enamel held fast
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 22, 2006 at 03:03 PM
*tosses YOLK up there to replace the ugly error in the parody*
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 22, 2006 at 03:05 PM
first hen's teeth, then frog hair.
Posted by: crossgirl | February 22, 2006 at 03:09 PM
I'm not gonna worry about this until chickens mutate lips. Once that happens, I'll have the boys in the lab doublecheck the Pope's religious affiliation and where bears poop.
ps: Fastest-growing new profession: Poultry dentist?
Posted by: Lairbo | February 22, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Eeeeuw! *snork* @ CoastRaven...I DON'T like that song and now it's in my hdad.
Earwig alert!
Posted by: daisymae | February 22, 2006 at 03:12 PM
hey, i sent that in too, and no thank you from Dave?! :(
Posted by: Betsi | February 22, 2006 at 03:12 PM
*snork* at Coast and Brainy Jello.
Birds with teeth? Next thing ya know pigs will fly.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | February 22, 2006 at 03:12 PM
Lairbo - inspired. Sorry hennypenny, you'll need a ROOST canal.
sorry.
as my lil grammma used to say - if we wouldnt eat the chickens they would eat us.... deeeee-lish. just hold the teeth please.
Posted by: queensbee | February 22, 2006 at 03:14 PM
Not the biggest fan of the song either, but when the story starts out "Working late in the developmental biology lab one night" it was screaming for that treatment.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 22, 2006 at 03:19 PM
I think most've you are missing an important part of the article...
Previous efforts to produce teeth in chickens had relied on introducing genetic information from mice, resulting in chickens growing mammalian molars.
That's right... there are mad scientists out there, deliberately trying to make toothy roosters. And after this discovery, they'll probably try to make them with alligator teeth instead of mice teeth.
Posted by: reneviht | February 22, 2006 at 03:19 PM
Scientific American.com - SCIENCE NEWS February 22, 2006
Mutant Alligator Grows Chickenlike Feathers
Working late in the developmental biology lab one night, Harry Matthews of the University of Florida noticed........
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 22, 2006 at 03:20 PM
'Quand les poules auront des dents' (French expression, similar to the hen's teeth one from pogo above, means 'never.' Well so much for THAT.)
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | February 22, 2006 at 03:22 PM
"C'mon over here, and I'll gnaw on 'ya . . . "
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | February 22, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Scientific American.com - SCIENCE NEWS February 22, 2006
Mutant Raven Reveals Song Parody Talent........
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 22, 2006 at 03:29 PM
(channeling Yacov Smirnov)
in soviet russia, chicken picks bits of you out of its teeth!
Posted by: insomniac | February 22, 2006 at 03:32 PM
TCK - If they COULD grow a chicken with four legs, they'd never be able to catch it.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | February 22, 2006 at 03:33 PM
*snork* @ Blue Meanie LOL
Posted by: daisymae | February 22, 2006 at 03:33 PM
Holy cow! No, that's another thing altogether.... Chicken teeth? Who knew? Besides mother chickens and scientists who check into this sort of thing. When you think about it, the dinosaurs developing into birds doesn't seem so far-fetched, does it?
Posted by: Kathy P. | February 22, 2006 at 03:38 PM
Freakin' global warming...
Posted by: JT | February 22, 2006 at 03:40 PM
CoastRaven, I'm lttg, but you had the same first thought as me. Maybe my ponytails a little too tight, too. ;)
Posted by: southerngirl | February 22, 2006 at 03:46 PM
Kathi, if we continue on that theme, since they are apparently growing their teeth back any day now chickens should be back to 35 feet high with crocodile teeth. Then they'll be raptors instead of roosters.
I'm going to eat all the KFC I can now! From underneath my bed since this has to a sign of the Apocolypse.
Posted by: Somewhere North | February 22, 2006 at 03:51 PM
Kathy P-Yes, but what I dread is birds turning BACK into dinosaurs!!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | February 22, 2006 at 03:55 PM
*snork* @ Blue Meanie - but really... you call that "talent"? Poor reporting if you ask me.
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 22, 2006 at 04:06 PM
CoastRaven - you're poultry in motion. Now get outta here. ;)
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 22, 2006 at 04:23 PM
Well, if they can give an alligator a hen's beak, then they'll have something.
Posted by: Prairie Dog | February 22, 2006 at 04:57 PM
Alright: Cross chickens with alligator teeth with dumpy tree frogs, and you could have a household pet who could lay eggs, savage burglers, and keep mosquitos away. Now if I could teach one to get me a beer, I could dump the old lady . . . sigh.
Posted by: J M Walker | February 22, 2006 at 06:06 PM
"I thought you said we were having chicken tonight?"
"Well...no."
"What happened to your hand?"
"Just shut up and eat your beans."
Posted by: Christobol | February 22, 2006 at 06:50 PM
Welllll, I had a little chicken and he wouldn't lay an egg...
So I poured hot water up and down his leg,
And the funny little chicken, welllll he hollered and he begged,
And the funny little chicken bit the h*** out of my finger.
Posted by: Hanna | February 22, 2006 at 07:11 PM
cuold not think of anything to make it rhyme sigh
Posted by: Hanna | February 22, 2006 at 07:13 PM
Hanna - I like it. It has the element of surprise.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 22, 2006 at 07:46 PM
Chickens don't have teeth????
Who knew?????
How do they chew????
Posted by: City Girl | February 22, 2006 at 07:48 PM
City Girl - they prefer protein shakes. Gives them the energy they need to cross the road.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 22, 2006 at 07:54 PM
hey, i sent that in too, and no thank you from Dave?! :(
Posted by: Betsi | 03:12 PM on February 22, 2006
I believe I pulled the same thing a couple of months ago, and it didn't go over very well.
Watch it or angry blogger will throw tyrannosaurochickens at you.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | February 22, 2006 at 08:50 PM
That makes sense, AnnieWBH - thanks for the explanation. :)
Posted by: City Girl | February 22, 2006 at 09:31 PM
so, City Girl - whaddya think of country boys? you know, like in the John Denver song?
Posted by: TCK | February 22, 2006 at 09:35 PM
Citygirl...Off topic: Mission completed. See ice worm post.
That is all.
Back to chicken dentition.
Posted by: Betsy | February 22, 2006 at 09:36 PM
City Girl watches the Odd Couple?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 22, 2006 at 09:47 PM
I'm wonderin' if attempts to cross-breed chickens with alligators would encounter problems similar to those cited earlier on another thread, with the mating of lions (or tigers) with goats ...
I'm guessin' ... yes ...
Posted by: U.O | February 22, 2006 at 09:48 PM
All avians are born with a tooth...called the egg tooth. Otherwise they'd have to gum their way out of their shells. The egg tooth falls off the beak shortly after birth so the young avians can suckle at their mothers' ramparts. Yes, students, all avians have nipples...called egg nipples. Otherwise their young would have to seek sustenance from the soil, scratching for it like chickens, which, by the way have breasts...oh, look! There's a shiny 25 cent piece! Gakkk!
(wipes hand)
Okay, who spit like a quarter?
Posted by: Stupendous Man | February 22, 2006 at 10:31 PM
They had better be careful with them mammalian genes. It could give a whole new meaning to the phrase "breast of chicken."
Posted by: Ernie G | February 22, 2006 at 11:04 PM
"Introducing Disney Nuggets - taste like Mickey."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 23, 2006 at 02:51 AM
"...there are mad scientists out there, deliberately trying to make toothy roosters..."
reneviht, you touched on what really made me MAD about that article: here we are as a world, going to heck in a handbasket, and there are fool scientists wasting time and money on researching BS like this! How the $%^#@#%^& did they ever get the FUNDING for it? Oh yeah, it had to be Federally funded... any government that will spend a bazillion bucks studying cow farts will SURELY pay a bazillion bucks for hen's teeth research.
Hmmmmmmmm, now how can WE cash in on this? Anyone got the grant forms handy? I'm thinking of research that cries out to be done: "The Medicinal Properties of Elephant Boogers"; "The Long Term Effects of Addiction to '24'"; "Just When DOES Jack Bauer Pee?"; "My Oosik Is Bigger Than Yours"; "The Economic Impact of Adulterated Dalda on the World's Ghee Supply"... there (not they're, not their) must be more we can use to get some of our tax money back where it belongs (in OUR wallets)...
"It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money." W. C. Fields
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 23, 2006 at 09:31 AM
MadS - I suggest an investigation into why it is that when I check the box for "Remember Personal Info?" in these threads that I still fail on a regular basis to remember key birthdays, anniversaries, names of close friends, where my car keys are, what I said three minutes ago, whose turn it is to make the coffee, PIN numbers, what I said three minutes ago, and my blog screen name.
Posted by: Blue Something | February 23, 2006 at 09:39 AM
BS'er ... I know whut you ... um ... whut wuz the question?
Posted by: U.O | February 23, 2006 at 09:48 AM
Mad...I totally sympathize, but in the interests of accuracy I have to point out that the feds don't fund the study of cow FARTS: it's actually cow BURPS that are the problem.
Hmmmm...*applies for federal funding to study 'farts v. burps: public perceptions as a barrier to methane research'*.
Posted by: Betsy | February 23, 2006 at 09:58 AM
Betsy, if one hangs around cows, my guess is that BOTH cow burps and cow farts are gonna be a problem, but I'll defer (from upwind) to your expert knowledge of the subject. I'll add your application to the pile. Of course, you've touched another nerve: the government has taken a half-a$$ed approach here, studying only one end of the "issue"...
"There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation." W. C. Fields
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 23, 2006 at 10:25 AM
Given the unfairly negative reaction to this story, I'm afraid at the backlash the following development is going to produce . . .
Brainy Jello, I'm afraid that the days of chicken fingers have already arrived. Chickens are already theropods -- the primitive condition in chickens is to have three fingers, each with a claw. Chicken embryos already have these, but one finger is lost and the other two are fused before the chick hatches. Except in chickens that have been engineered by Hans Larsson of McGill University. They've got FIVE fingers, the primitive number not for theropods, but thier tetropod ancestors. They've also got long tails (the tail is normally reabsorbed before hatching). Put that together with the teeth, and you've got something right out of Jurassic Park. Only small. And with the brain of a chicken. What the hell, I want one anyway.
P.S. Dear Mad Soapboxer: Most paleontological research is privately funded. In defense of the very few publicly funded projects, I would note that if the public kept money, they would probably spend it on singing robotic fishes. Anyway, if you really want to save money, how about stoping the government from 'liberating' miserable little desert nations that express thier gratitude by blowing us up? That costs 100,000 times more than a whole army of toothy, long-tailed, five-clawed chicken monsters, and isn't nearly as much fun. I really don't know why we mad scientists get such a bad rap when its the mad lawyers and the mad politicians that cause all the problems.
P.P.S. Go here (http://www.mcgill.ca/reporter/35/10/newprofs/larsson/) for a short biography on Larsson.
Posted by: D. Esker | February 23, 2006 at 10:34 AM
D.E., your scienterrific info on the bizarre embryonic development of a chicken has reinforced my firm belief that chickens DESERVE to be marinated in 11 herbs and spices, breaded and deep fried. (That works for ‘gator too, in fact – GOOD eatin’!)
BTW, I am not a mad scientist, I’m just MAD. My daughter is one of those mad scientist types though, but I have it on good authority that SHE has no part in any effort to develop unnecessary body parts in chickens or any other edible critter.
I beg to differ on what we here at Dave’s Blog would do with newfound riches, however. WE would not spend it on singing robotic fishes, but would apply every dime wisely and effectively on BEER! Beer and pretzels. And oosiks. And blue shirts. And thongs. And Dave’s books.
I am in favor of deep frying the mad lawyers and the mad politicians as well, but I don’t think we could get even cockroaches to eat them…. Bleaugh!
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 23, 2006 at 12:32 PM
By now scientists studying the alleged ill effects of bovine flatulence have probably noted by now what any dairy farmer would have told them for free: A cow only burps when its asshole locks up.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | February 23, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Yay - I got a 'thanks'!
Of course it would be on one of my rare off-line days.
Ah well, it's still good.
And Betsy, I sent this in when I saw it in Scientific American whereas most of the others probably didn't see it until it got picked up elsewhere.
Or I just got lucky.
Posted by: KCSteve | February 24, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Welllll, I had a little chicken and he wouldn't lay an egg...
So I poured hot water up and down his leg,
he screamed and he hollared and he hollared and he begged,
that little chicken laid a hard boiled egg... whith teeth
see, that rhymes
Posted by: jeremy | April 14, 2006 at 11:28 PM