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February 17, 2006


This woman deserves a medal.

(Thanks to Dawn Cameron)


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Can't touch anyone for 90 days? THat seems kind of harsh.

That's outrageous. I'm with you, Dave. They fined her?!? Sheesh. I need to go write some letters. Bastids.

This is all about perspective. Had the woman received her call during "Big Mommas's House 2" nobody would have filed charges.

This was actually a Solomon-ic decision by the judge - the Australian lady can pump a few rounds into the idiot and not violate the sentence terms.

I think "Attempted Cellular Assault" should be a new classification of crime, defined as a premeditated attempt to render unconscious anyone who takes a call in a theatre. The fine would be a bag of jellybeans and a sincere apology to the other patrons of the theatre that you let the perp survive.

"SSShhhhhh....." is Australian for, "Shut the @#%!&* up and cram your cell phone."

people are despicable creatures
loathsome inexplicable creatures
good-for-nothing kickable creatures

Taking a phone call in a crowded movie theatre is SOO Brokeback!

A Texas movie theater? Why is it always Texas? I ask that as someone who has lived here for six years and is still bemused by the things people do here.

Oh well, at least she wasn't in the theater when Dick Cheney took a cell phone call. She'd have been peppered (and then sauteed).

Maybe in Australia at the beginning of movies, they have a public service announcement on the screen: "LEAVE RINGER TURNED ON!" "PLEASE CONVERSE IN LOUD TONES" "IN CASE OF FIRE, STAY SEATED UNTIL OVERCOME BY SMOKE INHALATION"

I mean, they're upside down, right? Stands to reason they're also backwards.

this very incident is why i always carry a airhorn can to the theatre. someone gets on a cell you just blast 'em with it, and they get the message.

*whispers to guin - the Aussie's not the villain in this one*

oops...just scanned and figured it was an Oz newsbrief...Americans! Always those wretched Americans!

Well, since she was being charged with assault anyway, she should have gotten a few free hits just to make it worth it.

I cannot believe that tapping someone on the shoulder is considered assault. Maybe she 'tapped' by cramming the cellphone into the nearest orifice.

Mud: Amen!

Partial conversation snippet from woman with phone:

"...oh, I totally agree. Watching it right now, it, it, it's just so moving, and it clearly shows that all of us, not just a few people, but ALL of us, need to reach out and try to be a little more tolerant, a little more accepting, because who are WE to impose our own...hey! HEY! WHO THE #$%* DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUCHING, YOU **(%%!'ING &&!!$$!!! I'LL RIP YOUR **$$ING HEAD OFF IF YOU 'SHH' ME AGAIN, YOU &%@'ING COW!!!"

(End transcript.)

Of course, the Australian sued the American and the Police for $5 million for emotional trauma.

The American then claimed that the cellphone was her Emotional Support Line and sued the theatre for an additional 2 million for posting signs that said not to use cellphones.

The Theatre then sued Hollywood claiming that the movie caused emotional distress to the American.

This is what makes shooting lawyers (all except Eleanor) funny.

Good thing it wasnt me in the theatre as I would definetly had been arrested.

C'mon now, remember this IS Texas - it has to be illegal to shush and touch someone on the shoulder - otherwise you'll get shot (we do all carry concealed handguns here - those of us who aren't out hunting).

I'm giving her a standing ovation.



*sits dumb-founded*

Well, goes to show that if you're going to be charged might as well carry a baseball bat. Do her in GOOD.

Judge should have dismissed the case.

And a 90 day "suspended sentencing" IS easy for the Australian. She simply returns home and all is forgiven - forgiven but not forgotten.


When is somebody going to invent a "reverse bluetooth" thingy that will render certain spaces incapable of supporting cell phone reception?

Think of it. First date, you could carry one in your purse (or pocket), and when he/she gets a call in the middle of your meal, zap it right in the middle of the "blah, blah, blah" and THEN excuse yourself to go to the rest room, never to return...

I agree, she should get a medal, and a free ticket to see the movie without interruption. Sounds like the judge did not want to punish her very much.

Invaded "personal space"?

Where's that defined? What?

Four inches?
Six inches?
Twenty feet?
Sixteen degrees Centigrade?

*goes to look for accussor's name*

In shrink lingo, "personal space" is usually defined as the invisible bubble people carry around. It is based on cultural norms, and also personal preference. For example, some Japanese people have a pretty large bubble, and would prefer that you don't make eye contact unless you are a trusted intimate, depending on how long they have had to acclimate to US. In other words, it is a very personal variable, but any kind of touching could be considered an invasion.

With youngsters, it is usually defined by "chicken wings" --put your arms out in a wing formation and spin, that is your and other's "personal space."

So your question is a good one.

And I know, this is WTMI. sorry...

Hanna, I believe there is a jamming device for cell phones out there. Don't know if it works with Bluetooth, though. I'm with American Kibby, judge should have thrown the whole thing out. What a dolt.

Dylan is correct they do exist, and the main "reason" for not allowing cell dampening devices to be installed in movie theaters has to do with 911 capabilities. My response to that though is what happened BEFORE we had cell phones when there was a fire or other emergency in the theater?

That's not assault. Technically it's battery. Assault: Any word or action intended to make another person fearful of immediate physical harm; a reasonably believed threat. Battery: The unprivileged, intentional touching of another. I personally think it's crazy that a polite tap on the shoulder to an obnoxious person qualifies as either, but I guess that's why I'm a reluctant business law student rather than a judge. To the Aussie gal I say: You go, girl!

So why don't we start a Free Pauline Clayton fund? Dave can collect our pennies and quarters and dollar bills and forward them down under over out....

Fined $176 for a single assault. Hmmm. How much for a season ticket? Can I buy a discount card? Do I get frequent flyer mileage?

*pulls out pencil and starts making a list*

Just remember, this is the same country that has a judge granting a restraining order to a woman against David Letterman. The accuser said that Letterman is stalking her through her tv in New Mexico all the way from New York.

Ooh. Another Firefly fan. S-p-j-g, pleased to meet you.

This recently happened here in Atlanta (MARTA) is our bus/rail transit system:

Man A: Rats the token machine is broken.

Man B: Here, I've got an extra one.

Man A: Hey thanks, here's the $1.75.

MARTA Police Officer to Man B: Sorry Mr. Goodsamaritan but selling tokens is illegal. Here's your handcuffs and now we'll take you to your cell.

Some_people_juggle_geese.™ I believe that was thrown out also.

Sensible Judges are there - just few?

Smart MARTA guards? Well, guess there's a reason they're not real cops.....

Bumble, you took the words right out of my mouth! You're getting there - woo hoo.

This however, COULD be an assault AND battery, if, when she made the sshhhh noise she had a mean "I'm about to touch you" look on her face. That would be the asault and then the actual touch would be the battery.
/end criminal law seminar

Private message to SN - everyone else move along - NOW.

psssst, SN, thx.

Now I've heard everything. I hope she sues. And wins. Big time.

JT: ROTFLMAO. Thanks - I needed that.

Seems the "offended" woman was charged by the Police for indecent behavour for the outburst. Her hearing's later.

Thanks for the legal beagle lesson, and the tech knowledge. Can a person get a "personal space dampening field generator?" It could be programmed to detect both assault and battery, and would have to be powered by batterings?

so if i shout at you and you drop your cellphone and i steal the battery, that's not battery battery?

insom -

FCDA says only if after stealing it you touched her with it without her permission.

Then we would have robbery oooh, and battery! But you could probably get a plea bargain, dismiss battery, plead guilty to robbery, one year local custody! :)

*snicker* I love this blog. You people rock.

My first sentence would have been funnier if I'd said Then we would have robbery oooh, and battery battery!


*takes 5 minute time out*

Just trying not to see where fivver pulled the pencil from.

So ... whut's the fine/sentence for mopery? Doing ugly in public?

(Obscure references there ... both of 'em ... if you know from whence they were borrowed, you may return them to avoid legal fees and a trial before a jury.)

Someone find out where Pauline Clayton lives - let's all take up a collection for her reward.

from Stev0
"...let's all take up a collection for her reward"

damn, why didn't i think of that?

I'm sorry that she was an Aussie. If she had been a native she would have known about local customs and could have just shot the woman and then used the classic "Texas Defense" - The bitch had it coming!

And reasonable jury would have acquited her in a heartbeat.

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