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February 13, 2006

SOON TO BE IN A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE WITH KEVIN BACON

The Huge Lily-Scented Worm

(Thanks to Charley)

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I'm glad I was a grad student in a different discipline.

"Ding" Johnson's got a three-foot worm! Pass it on!!!

(the news, not the worm...)

Australian verminologist: You call that a worm? Now this (pulling out 15 foot specimen) is a worm!

I felt really excited when I found it!"

Who wouldn't be?!

Exactly who decided to smell the worm? Just curious. My reaction to worms is slightly different.

Mix this worm with the whale vomit and you've got a h*ll of a perfume.

Oops. Forgot to close my tag: </sarcasm>

While many Americans would be startled to find a three-foot-long worm, its relative in Australia, Megascolides Australis, may grow to 15 feet.

*HEEBIE-JEEBIE DANCE!*

Hey, since it's lily-scented, wouldn't it be ginchy to tie it around a bouquet of wildflowers for your favorite Valentine?

My Kalifornia worms make no scents (Not cents).

Non-scents?

I just had a double cheeseburger with Kevin Bacon.

He had the fish sandwich.

Key quote: The worm may be suffering from competition from non-native species, revealing that even underground soil dwellers are vulnerable to ecosystem disruption.

I take this to mean that most of the program directors I worked for during my radio career are in danger. Works for me.

"Bigger size doesn't necessarily give a competitive advantage to natives."

There's a joke here somewhere, but I'm waaaay too tired to figure out what it is. Help, someone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

*snork* @ insomniac regarding "Ding" Johnson.

.. researchers estimate that human activities have destroyed all but approximately one percent of the worm's original population.
.. including excavating in the worms' habitat with shovels and pickaxes.
.. what's worse than finding a lily-scented worm in your excavation pit? Finding half a lily-scented worm in your excavation pit.

[Ding] Johnson also told Discovery News that the worm has another "appealing feature that has not been widely reported."

And that "appealing" feature is that they puke on you if you poke 'em. Yum. TamaraRWC is so right -- the perfect Valentine's Day present. Too bad they didn't analyze the liquid -- was it lily-scented? Does it attract guys of the male persuasion?

"Palous -the other white meat."

...revealing that even underground soil dwellers are vulnerable to ecosystem disruption...

So much for my plan of digging a big hole in the ground to live in.

Who was the brilliant scientist who thought underground soil dwellers wouldn't be vulnerable to ecosystem disruption?

"And so, we've killed all the plants and animals in the region, creating a desert. However, we expect the worms to be fine, because, well, they're underground."

"...had not been seen in nearly two decades and is believed to be extremely rare..."

Or perhaps they're extremely common, but have learned to hide by standing vertically behind tall trees. (Where's Gary Larson when you need him??)

oh, aunt nancy, so many jokes, so little time....
supersize what?

Wurm smells like lilies?

"...called the giant Palouse earthworm because it can grow to around three feet long..."

Soooo...palouse means three-feet long? I would have thought they'd give it that name because it was found on the Palouse Prairie! But then, that just goes to show why I'm not making the big bucks as the Director of Whatever Department It Is That Comes Up With These Names.

And C-bol - Underground Soil Dwellers wbagnfarb.

"When [we] held the worms in our hands to examine them, they 'spit' when prodded."

I could SO make a nasty little sexual innuendo here, but I won't 'cause I think the doghouse is still full.

Mr. C ~ I think by saying that you could make a nasty little sexual innuendo, you kinda did.

But I'm pretty sure that was your intention, so it worked out well. :)

S'girl - Yes, I can see how you'd think so, but if you read my post carefully, you'll see I did in fact NOT make an innuendo, and that you made up your own joke in a sick little recess of your mind. NTTAWWT, of course.

So you can see that I am totally and completely innocent and blameless.

*adjusting halo*

This is a close cousin to the Giant Lily-livered Worm. That worm never volunteers for fish-bait duty and tiptoes waaaay around the ant farm.

Mr. and s'girl...be careful, or I'll repeat my educational post on the rhetorical device known as 'prateritio'

C'mon, Betsy, let's not mention THAT again..

Here's a picture from the Judi-with-Walter genre:
http://www.wormdigest.org/images/stories/wormrope.jpg

Here's a picture from the Judi-with-Walter genre:
http://www.wormdigest.org/images/stories/wormrope.jpg

ouch

ouch

sorry

Betsy - I must have missed your post about "praterito" - can you enlighten me?

Although I gotta say, "praterito" had better be a new item at Taco Bell...

so ... if an Aussie worm grows 15 feet, and we take care of it and it grows 85 more feet, would it be a centipede?

Point of interest, perhaps: Palouse is supposedly a bastardization of the word Appaloosa, you know, the beautiful horse. Appaloosas were supposedly first bred by the Nez Perce Amerindians in the general vicinity of this earthworm find.

Also, I sent this item in three days ago. *sigh

Stupe' ... (old horse-owners' joke follows)

Do you know why the Appaloosa was developed by the Néz Percé?

Those were the only horses they could catch on foot ...

Stupe - this is a huge worm - it probably took 3 days to post the thing. And you do your case no good whining about it.
btw - "Palouse" is the river valley where the Nez Perce lived, right? "Appaloosa" ia a b@stardization of "Palouse." Most Indian tribes rode their best horses into battle. The Nez Perce let their best, most colorful stud er, 'work from home.' Something to think about on your way to work tomorrow (wink).

Mr. C...You hadda ask, din't you? ;) OK: here's the short version: when you're a great writer or speechifier, like Cicero, or you, and you want to 'say something without saying it', thus appearing to be 'above such petty or boring things', and you say, f'rinstance, "I shan't stoop to alluding to the Vice President's unfortunate tendency to blast his friends with birdshot," THAT's praeteritio.
Not to be confused with other rhetorical devices such as hysteron proteron and hendiadys,
which I shan't even mention. [See??? Like that!]

Betsy - Ah. I see.

As a resident of the Palouse, I would like to point out that it is one of the most beautiful places in the world, even the parts that are no longer prairie because of the farming. (It's probably where your lawn came from. Either that, or your bread.) In some places, the topsoil is estimated to be 200 feet thick.

Thus endeth the lesson.

Booger.


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