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February 18, 2006


Omieri is back! And Tom has his groove on!


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Let me be the FIRST to say I wish Omieri and Tom would get together. Although Tom would probably start trying to convert Omieri but then again, that might get him a nice 'hug'.

The sighting of Omieri is far more newsworthy, in my opinion...

EEEEWWWWWWWWWW, this gives me the willies! And I'm not too fond of snakes, either.

Too bad Cruise wasn't losing his grip just a bit more. That would really have been life-changing.

*goes off to order a pair of the snake-proof chaps advertised alogside the Omieri story, in case Tom shows up here (he went to high school near where I live).*

I went to Wikipedia to find out what Scientology actually was--er...has anyone else read abt Scientology in Wikipedia? Did wikipedia get it right?


"He told us that Scientology changed his life and his fiancée’s life, and it could change ours, too."

The question is, do we want it to?

Bangi--Yep, it seems right, scary isn't it?


Now do you suppose it would be good luck or bad luck to make a Nairobi omlett from the eggs of a revered omen? I suppose that would hinge on the attitude of the gentry.

Obvious, but needed-to-be-asked question: Just how much luck can this snake possess considering it had been burned in a fire?


Aren't wild fires part of natural habitats too?

Wonder if Tom's ever been in one.


When the VIP section was told ... that Scientology changed his life and his fiancée’s life... the entire balcony exploded with,

"YES TOM! WE CAN TELL! Will you get off the railing now?"

*blushes because bangi talked to him*

*snork* at Punkin.

Awww, Noob, you make me blush.... :)


I'm nostalgic for the days when he was just a hotbod Top Gun. He keeps talking and ruining my fantasy.

So I checked Scientology in Wikipedia, and if you read far enough, you find the following startling information:

"...a number of groups practice Scientology and Dianetics outside of the official church...The Church takes an extremely hard line on breakaway groups, labeling them "apostates" (or "squirrels" in Scientology jargon)..."

This, of course, opens up a whole new area of inquiry. For starters, is the zapping of power lines a form of religious expression covered under the First Amendment?

So if Tom and the snake hook up and practice scientology together the entertainment news media would have to refer to them as "Tomieri."

*snork* @ cobra

The funniest site for The Cruiser is located at:
Tom Cruise is Nuts.

Bengi: For an "objective" (Yeah, right. This is a humor blog) look at Scientology, try this one:

Sorry! Misfire.


LBBF - nothing ruins a fantasy more than when a partner goes and starts talking.

*blushes becoz Kibby looks so hot when he blushes*

CoastRaven-You know it!

CruiseControl-That web site is hilarious. I'm amazed the man still has a career.

Cruisecontrol--am just abt to visit...

CoastRaven- Unless....well never mind.

"snake-worshipping changed my life! ask me how!!"

does the steering wheel on Tom's car lack a certain button? the one marked "Cruise Control"?

Omieri shows up: good luck

Tom shows up: bad luck.

Cruisentology? I know this is off topic, but if im worried that if Yoko Ono marries Brian Eno, Her name will be Yoko Eno.

*Snork* at Insom

I heard on the news that Tom and Katie are only together until the baby is born. He built her a house close by so he can see the baby often.

don't scientologists eat their offspring?

oh wait, that's guppies


Ditto, me, Lisa BFF. Too bad he had to open his mouth.

Hmmm...the <> didn't mean anything. It left out some of the message I typed.

The most interesting part of this is the creator of religion known as scientology. I hvae one of his books. In it he talks about how difficult it is to get good satire and farce. He goes on to describe famous actors like Charlie Chaplin who made great farcial movies.
The book is a farce. Even he admits it. But it also seems to have scientology in it.
Tell Tom before he gets to the roof.

As for the snake. Good for her. She has survived all sorts of stuff and is now being worshipped. I would call her very lucky.

Did anyone check out the "French" version of the snake story?

Serp-Franc...C'est une miracle!!! I can read French avec no problemo!
Should I credit L. Ron, or Omieri for this amazing event???

P.S. To the right of le version Francaise of the snake story was an ad featuring two croissants, stacked. My first thought was, "eewwww - organs masquerading as food" Second thought: "no...some kind of excrement." Only after additional perusal were they recognized as fancy foodstuffs.
I can only say, "Thank you, Blog, for changing the way I view the world."

excellent - it appears Betsy's transformation is complete - it may be time to initiate phase 2 of her indoctrination

Le Tom cést un petit off le wall, nón?

L. Ron:

oui, oui, et vous aussi!! :)

*blushes because kibby and Bangi are blushing*

At our house we call Tom "The Nose" because it seems to be the only part of him that shows any growth as he ages.

I suspect that Tigger may be his hero... Or the other dude who dangled his offspring off a balcony...

As for the snake, I am glad she does not live in our neighborhood, as we have three cats and one fairly small boy living at our house. But I am happy for her and I would not break one of those eggs unless I knew for sure for sure how long she has been nesting. Just suppose...

*enters, notices everyone blushing*

Oops, pardon me.


TCK...Oui, oui! Je suis tres enthusiastique! Ou sendez-moi ma cheque grande? (Perhaps when I reach the next level, I'll be able to write Frence, too!)

P.S. If anyone hasn't viewed the South Park (Parque Sud) episode referenced above, it's well worth the 22 minutes, and downloads fairly fast.

Question? If the snake is laying eggs, maybe the reason she has been roaming is because she found a male of her species and GOT LUCKY?

it's kind of sad, really, you've got people whose everyday life revolves around the comings and goings of an animal utterly oblivious of its surroundings, trying to interpret it every move... and then there are the Kenyans.

>He told us that Scientology changed his life and his fiancée’s life, and it could change ours, too.

WOW! where can I score a few grams of scientology - that stuff is wicked!

El le Noir,

Vous rendre mois a la rougir, aussie. *Le shucks*


le snorke a le insom

As if puberty isn't hell in and of itself, Cruise's kids must be suicidal by now.

But he's marrying a kid and has another one on the way, so I'm guessing he's thinking it's a fair swap.

As a "perk" to a former position, I received frequent mailings of expensive slick-paged booklets dedicated to the adoration of L. Ron. I would read them for the zaniness and note that the booklets were written by L. Ron; the photos (including self photos) were all taken by L. Ron; and everything illustrated had a glow reminiscent of Mao depictions during the Red Guard event in Communist China. Even the photos of L. Ron were backgrounded by a golden glow as though they were tinted. The booklets described L. Ron as, among other things, an explorer, world traveler, soldier of fortune and photographer.
As for the other snake in this thread, I recall a time when training Cambodian soldiers in Vietnam where the Montagnard security guards captured a rock python about 6 feet long. The python had crawled up on the chest of one of the Montagnards while he was sleeping on guard duty near a beach on the north shore of Cam Ranh Bay. The Montagnards were going to friccassee the snake, but the Cambodians put up a strong protest, 'cause they were convinced the snake was the incarnation of "The Old Man from the Mountain." I had to make my Montagnards let the snake go to prevent an uprising by two battalions of irate Cambodians. So, I guess that python had luck.

Tom, why did it have to be Tom?

Scientology is full of such weirdness, L.Ron must have laughed himself silly making up that stuff. The last thing I read is that newborns are taken from the mother immediately after birth, then placed in isolation for the rest of the day, so their spirits can recover. They are kept completely separate from Mom for three days. That pesky breastfeeding isn't a problem, because L. Ron came up with a recipe for formula made from barley water and corn syrup. Sounds like a recipe for a completely messed up kid, right? How else are they gonna make sure that there is another generation wacky enough to believe this stuff?

And we all know how much Cambodians hate to stew. Nice story. SM-you speak cambodian?

Anyone else notice the L Ron and Enron similarities.

...and the middle brother, Mmmmmron, was a song by Hanson...

Oh, and if Junior hurts himself, Mom is not allowed to give him a comforting cuddle. Say Junior (clumsy oaf!) stubs his toe against the wall. Mom is supposed to gently press the toe against the wall so that the wall can absorb the negative energy, thus easing the pain.

Sorry for the rant.

Stupe - I thought you were going to say, "and the rock python that we spared turned out to be Tom Cruise." But you said it was 6 feet long, so...

btw - Tom Clueless, Mel Godson, Mr. Barry and I all grew up within about an hour of each other near White Plains, NY. I haven't talked to any of them years. Ok, I've NEVER talked to any of them.

I should be at the So Cal blogger meeting, but I'm a bit under the weather. What does that mean anyway? Not sure. I think I caught something from Tamara RWC. Hope she's doing ok. I REALLY hope she's doing ok.

LOL at insom

artchick - so if his wife has a headache, Tom 'gently presses' her head against a wall until she feels better?

artchick, kudos. More people should rant at the abuse of kids, even if prescribed by "science." Sorry, but that is the appropriate word...

I read or heard that L Ron self-published all the books. No credentials, no editor, no accountability.

Cruise is probably driving more people away than the snake, who is just being herself, whereas he is trying to convince the world that he is some kind of expert. NOT!!!!!!!!

*zips in*

For the last 4 (FOUR!) hours I have been in a LIFE AND DEATH struggle with my computer, which managed to - if you can even believe this but ISIANMTU - removed all the lyrics (!) from my WMP and iTunes music. Yes. It really did.

I know some of you are asking how this could be, but those questions will have to be directed at the computer, who at this time is not available due to having been beaten down by me and a friend of mine!
Women Rule! Even over computers!

HAHAHAHA! I won. And I am now listening to music avec words.

I just think I'll give my kids an extra big hug tonight. Of course, my teenage son is having a bunch of kids over for a sleepover party, so I'll have to make sure I do it when everyone is looking.

I will give my kids a hug too. Anyone know a good place to get a time machine?

artchick, make sure to call him "Sweety Pie" and tell him to "sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite." And whenever possible, pick him up from school in the OscarMeyerMobile.

Met him on a Monday and my brain stood still
The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron
Somebody told me I should take these pills.
The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron.
Whoa, my brain stood still.
Yeah, I've no free will.
And then they took my home,
The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron

He knew what he was doin' when he got me high.
The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron
He locked in a closet, but my, oh my.
The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron
Oh, he got me high.
My, my, my, my, oh my.
And when I stubbed my toe,
I shoulda run run run so you run run.

Apologies all around, I know this is effing awful, but this stupid song has been stuck in my head all day.

*makes mental note not to let El and her friend near my head*

ROFL @ l gehrig!

El, you're scaring me. It took me forever to figure out how to get the music from the CD to the ipod, since the 'oh so chic' apple packaging for the ipod nano doesn't include instructions.

Now you're telling me that my computer can, on it's own, decide to hide/erase/lose the little bit of music that I've oh so carefully installed?

daisy who missed all the free file swapping from the early Napster era

*SNORK*@the Iron Horse

I can't believe no one has thought of this before, but maybe we should start our own pseudo-religion. It would be called: Scatology.

It would encompass raising our consciousness to a higher level by making fun of anyone we see, but using poop references. (hehe! I just said "poop" and "but"!) L. Dave Barry could be our leader, and if he wrote any books, made any movies, or did anything at all we could praise his wit on some sort of common posting device so all could read our mind-enhancing comments. And all would be required to use our newly acquired "tools" of Scatology, lest certain important females would look disparagingly at us. We shall call the supreme one "judi" and the rest shall be called "the posse". We would usher in a new world order, to be enjoyed by all!

...and if anyone (especially a man of the male persuasion) were to say something inappropriate, they would be sent to "the doghouse", although they would receive a parting parfait and beer to console them. Ours would be a kind society.

daisy, it only lost the words in each song. The music was still there.
Cue Twilight Zone Theme Song, which spookily enough, has NO words! Imagine Born to Run as an instrumental!!!
But Bruce is now back singing as well as before.
pssst daisy, I also missed out on Napster *sigh*

adonis - while your idea is an interesting "concept", a few flaws immediately come to mind.
"Posse" has already been patented and is not available for general use. And I thought we already had a blog religion.
Flying Spaghetti Monster. Check it out.

louis g: The L Ron Ron Ron the L Ron Ron I like it!!! We need a dance to go with it. :)

Je ne comprend pas tous, mais j'ai grande du beirre, alors, ca va.

Oh goody the dog house is much nicer then hell.
I would recomend D. Barry. It sounds better. Unless he has a middle name then we say Dave L Barry. Or D Leonard Barry. This would make it sound very official.
And then must have a group we despise. The spaghetti monster people sounds like fun.
We must also stop me from posting to much when I have homework due today.
What if the person doesn't drink? What do they get if they are going to the dog house?

Here, ve see ze bloglit Eleanor, engached in a life or death shtruggle vith her compuuuter.


Sorry. I can't read the words "life or death struggle" without hearing John Cleese in my head. The doctors assure me it's nothing to worry about...

Anyway, pretty scary to think a computer can decide to remove the words to all your songs. Who knows what it might do next? Download William Shatner's Greatest Hits? shudder

*SNORK!* at L. Gehrig and The L. Ron Ron Ron the L. Ron Ron. The disciples will probably soon be singing a version (sadly lacking L. Gehrig's more correct lyrics) at their revival meetings.

Alfred- Near-beer! Or milkshakes! And you get out in a day or two. Remember, our common greeting is "Pithy comments and refreshing beverages to you!"

El- That you have been caught up with the Fetichinites worries me. Earlier I examined this group, but found too many gaps in their theology. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy pasta the same as the next guy, but really, who can compete with boogers?

qetzal -

yes, it really was scary. How can a computer take away the words and leave the music - unreal. The only album that was untouched (and I probably have 40-50 downloaded) was - wait for it - John Denver, who has always been there for me in stressful times, and came through once again, even though he's dead. (RIP)

So what was up with that?

I'll leave that thought for everyone.

*zipping out now*

*waves bye*

Alfred? We 'despise' FSM-ism? As one of the Left-coast deacons of Pastafarianism, I must respectfully take issue with your comment. I'd ask you to give yourself 20 lashes with a wet noodle, but I'd rather save the pasta for dinner.

The basics of FSM:

* An invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a "midgit" [sic].

* All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by this being.

* Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 19th Century. (Note: This is my personal favorite)

* The Flying Spaghetti Monster tests Pastafarians' faith by making things look older than they really are. "For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.

We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease."

Long live Bobby Henderson, Our Founder!


In zee hard und unrelenting vorld of nature zee ceaseless shtruggle over electronic music continues. Zis time, Eleanor's compuuter concedes defeat und so lives to fight another day.

Alfred - I did not mean to ignore your question. I do not speak Cambodian, but Commandante Danh Ty, the commander of the battalion I was training, spoke fluent French and a bit of English. He had served in the French Foreign Legion as a 1st Lieutenant and was captured and imprisoned by the Viet Minh at the fall of Dien Bien Phu. In addition, I had an NCO who was of French extraction who spoke French fluently.

I fear for the life of my friend Commandante Danh Ty. An alleged USAF captain forwarded me a letter from Danh Ty before the US embassy in Pnomh Penh was closed as Pol Pot took control. The return address on Dahn Ty's letter had been snipped from the envelope. Inside the envelope was an eloquent letter seeking help to leave Cambodia with his family. Also included in the envelope was a black and white photo of the two of us in a clearing in the jungle. Efforts to locate my friend failed, and I gave up hope for this brave man over 30 years ago.

pirateboy- great we are now going to have to bash our beliefs against each other.

ok lets see now. I will say that you believe in Spaghetti and meatballs.
You will say I bow down to the toilet.
I will point out that you do not listen to common knowledge that obviosly the Spghetti monster was a hoax because at one time the author spoke with a squirrel.
You will mention that Dave has an oosik.
5 hours later one of us gets tired of arguing and use some kind of trick to get off the fricken subject.
Tom Cruise is whacked out. But then again how many famous people can you remember that seem sane anymore.

Nicole Kidman!

Tom may be whacked out, but TBS just re-ran Jerry McGuire to remind us of what he was before his abduction by aliens. And also I guess, to prove why he still has a career in spite of it all.

*snork* @ everyone. G'night all.

Okay - back to the zany stuff we all came for. El says she is missing the lyrics from the songs on her ipod. Doesn't an ipod have several channels for full music body, like stereo? Maybe she just lost the vocal track. That used to happen with stereo turntables.
And, while it will probably get me banished to the doghouse, I must ask El and anyone else reading this if they know the difference between John Denver and a good pilot?

About 6 feet!

How come everyone's always talking about Snork, but no one ever mentions Fleagle, Bingo, or Drooper?

Just wonderin....

Stupendous- I know your feelings. I completely understand your hesitancy.
During my mission I met thousands of Vietnamese refugees. They are wonderfull people. As are the cambodians. It stuns me to know that such terribleness came from people that seemed so kind.
One of the officers in Phoenix taught me a great deal about work with refugees. He was a vietnam vet. It is so odd to imagine him in those jungles with a gun. I remember him doing a Donald Duck voice for his grandchildren.
Yet he could speak to these people with understanding. He knew what some of them experienced. So it was easy for them to speak to him. I could only shudder when I heard some of the stories. Or saw the results.
He never forgot and used it for good. I have met a few soldiers from our most recent war. They have the same doubts and emotions that you have. I have often wanted to tell them to donate there time to help the refugees nearby.
I can't remember where the saying came from, it says, 'Friends from this life and the next.' I agree with it. Hopefully in the next life you can see your friend. Thats what gets me up in the morning sometimes.

I apologise for bringing up such a subject. I just miss my mission.

HAHA! I finally got a snork! See? At 11:10 Lisa BFF (NOT to be confused with Lisa Best Friends Forever) gave me a snork! HA! And you all said I would never amount to much. I have to attribute this recent recognition to my new savior L. Dave Humor, and Scatology. And to any naysayers, POOP!

Romaine to that adonis

Alfred - TNX for the encouraging words and for caring and sharing.

adonis - While your answer (About 6 feet!) can't be entirely ruled out, the absolutely correct answer is:

A good pilot breaks ground and flies into the wind.

And beer or similarly refreshing liquids to you Alfred, true believer.

Stupe, I don't get it. But, I do know this really encouraging social "movement". I'll send you a pamphlet, which may include beer.

For all:


1) Do you feel stressed?
If yes, drink a beer.
If no, then why? I mean
2) Have you ever felt stressed?
If yes, drink a beer.
If no, are you an infant? I mean
3) Do you breath?
If yes, drink a beer.
If no, are you in fact, a toaster?
If yes, drink a beer (carefully)
If no, drink a beer.

To all: Come and revel in the joy of the Funny One, L. Dave Humor!

My apologies Alfred, Oh King Of The Non-Imbibers, and all of his ilk. Where the stress test says "beer", feel free to insert "refreshing beverage of your choice". Pithy comments to all!

Stupendous Man, in a sign of peace and pithy comments, I offer you a new "handle" to be used whenever you see fit: Beer Man. 'Tis a fine name, to be sure. Also, in sancimonium to His Funniness, your new initials are BM! Congratulations and beer to you!

Annie! *snork!*

Have you heard of Airborne(TM)? It's a supplement-thingee Punky recommended to me. Took some Friday evening*, felt completely better by bedtime!! This was a cold I had been dealing with for TWO WEEKS!

*(along with homemade chicken noodle soup, plenty of water, lots of rest, and no sugary foods)

PS Punky says the Original flavor sucks, but Lemon-Lime is quite nice.

PPS I saw Arlo Guthrie in concert tonight! I cried! He was great!!

ok lets see now. How about I add the word Root right in front of the Beer. Even though originally it was supposed to be an herbal tea. Nobody bought it so they called it root beer instead.
D. Leanord Barry for all.

I thought we could just add an "av" to the middle. And change "drink" to--Oh my gosh! There's a rust-spot on my halo! (Nevermind.)

Another is welcomed into our circle! Tamara RWC, do you see the effects of Scatology? Alfred's last post was both witty and informative! (Also notice my new email address) D. Leanord Barry for all!

I know this is way off topic, but I just posted my first "iMix" under Apple's iTunes. "1979 - High School Graduation Music". For those on the Geezer Bus, please load up your iTunes, find that iMix on Apple's Music Store, and please tell me what song(s) I might have left out? I'm not going for just the ones I liked, I'm trying to put up a cross-section of that entire year, both the good (September) and the bad (Le Chic).

Sorry, was not even alive at the time. My Dad was still stuck in Argentina. And my mother thought he would never return. Though I think the Star Wars theme song came out around then.

*blushes 'cause it seems like the thing to do*

According to a concert-goer, "As Kanye sang about the need for pre-nups, Tom threw his hands in the air."

And did he subsequently wave them like he just didn't care?
*sigh* Yes, the man is crazy, and unfortunately, it's not crazy in a fun way. I have been meaning to take my MI:2 poster down for quite some time now because I've been officially anti-Tom Cruise for quite awhile, but I don't know what to replace it with.
Oh and...
*snorks* for everyone! (What can I say? I'm feeling generous.)

Added. Thanks!

Yay for us young'uns around these parts. I was born yet then either. :o)

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