CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE DAY SO FAR
OK, you want to steal a toilet seat, so you pose as... a reporter for the New York Times!
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February 23, 2006
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or Gene Shalit ...
Posted by: MOTW | February 23, 2006 at 10:12 AM
Wow, I thought the Times paid better than that!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | February 23, 2006 at 10:12 AM
I hear that's how Maureen Dowd gets all her toilet seats.
Posted by: Chianca at Large | February 23, 2006 at 10:14 AM
"The men said it was the first time they had stolen toilet seats, although the police report showed the clinic had lost three of the seats recently."
A rash of toilet seat thefts?
Posted by: pogo | February 23, 2006 at 10:16 AM
"They must have falsified the identity cards."
ya think???????????
Posted by: queensbee | February 23, 2006 at 10:16 AM
Given his "LIBERAL use of expletives," maybe he did work for the Times.
Posted by: bbescuela | February 23, 2006 at 10:17 AM
No, Pogo,
A rash FROM toilet seat thefts!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | February 23, 2006 at 10:17 AM
Actually with the way things have been going at the times lately this is not such a bad thing.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | February 23, 2006 at 10:17 AM
A Tangerangian in "a New York state of mind, speaking in broken English, including liberal use of expletives."
I wonder if this story will show up in the NY Times. Then Paul Napitupulu would probably say that that PROVES he works for them!
Posted by: MOTW | February 23, 2006 at 10:18 AM
Why? I just want to know why?
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | February 23, 2006 at 10:19 AM
Maybe the city is in a competition to become The Hover Pee Capital of the World?
Posted by: pogo | February 23, 2006 at 10:22 AM
The cops are stymied. They claim they have nothing to go on.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | February 23, 2006 at 10:24 AM
He was yelling "YOU &%#!!! HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON!!!"
Posted by: JT | February 23, 2006 at 10:24 AM
I wonder if these are the same guys who took the toilet that Mrs Blog falied to sit on yesterday!
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 23, 2006 at 10:25 AM
(Nodding affably at MC)
Posted by: JT | February 23, 2006 at 10:25 AM
*thumbs up* to Mr C & JT
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | February 23, 2006 at 10:27 AM
He was yelling so much that he became flushed.
Posted by: JT | February 23, 2006 at 10:27 AM
"Paul seemed to be unaware that the U.S. daily's only magazine is its Sunday edition."
Does this imply that the others (clinic workers, etc.) knew that the New York Times Magazine was a weekly? Why would it matter?
Posted by: daisymae | February 23, 2006 at 10:29 AM
Some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhood
Hop a flight to miami beach or hollywood.
Vandalizing toilets - ah that's my line-
I’m in a new york state of mind.
I've pooped with movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines,
squatted high in the rockies under the evergreens,
But I know what I’m needing and it's porcelain and white-
I’m in a new york state of mind.
It was so easy living with double-ply
Warm bidet stream to knock it loose
But now I need a little rougher wipe,
The new york times, the daily news...
It comes down to reality-and it’s fine with me ’cause I’ve let it slide,
Don’t care if it’s Crane or Kohler,
I don’t have any reasons, I’ve left them all behind-
I’m in a new york state of mind.
Posted by: mudstuffin | February 23, 2006 at 10:30 AM
kudos and snickers to mudstuffin!
By the way, this is why, when reporters come to my house with their crazy allegations and wild insinuations, asking for a statement regarding the mangled puppy underwear line I'm selling, I never let them use my bathroom, unless they're cute.
Posted by: Christobol | February 23, 2006 at 10:34 AM
Mud...sheer genius! esp. 'the NY Times; the Daily News' A big ol' platinum *SNORK* to start the day:)
Posted by: Betsy | February 23, 2006 at 10:40 AM
In Jakarta toilet seats are a valuable resource. Most people just have to go on the ground, or in a hole. Many people dream of owning a toilet. As the toilets themselves are difficult to steal, the seats are often stolen instead. From a practicality standpoint, a toilet seat mounted directly to the ground isn't a perfect system, but it is an easy way for people to boost property values.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: The chicken teeth controversy rages on with yet more modifications to the poultry genome. Check out the thread for new information I got from attending the AAAS meeting over the weekend. I swear I am not making this up.
Posted by: D. Esker | February 23, 2006 at 10:46 AM
"...Denta Medika Klinik on Jl. Pasar Minggu Raya in South Jakarta."
Bet you can't say that three times fast. In fact, I daresay you can't say it once.
Posted by: Bumble | February 23, 2006 at 10:46 AM
Coco! Coco-coco! Coco-coco-cococo? Coco? COCO!!!
Posted by: Coco the Bird-Airplane-Plant Thing | February 23, 2006 at 10:49 AM
Coco was trying to say: "Hover Pee" WBAGNFARB!
Posted by: Kalamazoo Q. Bloo | February 23, 2006 at 10:50 AM
On the news I sit and squint.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | February 23, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Mud:
Brilliant, and thanks for a day-long earworm.
Posted by: Lairbo | February 23, 2006 at 12:10 PM
*applauds for Mud*
One of your best!! :)
Mr. C. - Didn't you use that same joke on a previous "toilet" thread a day or so ago?? We need new material!
Posted by: Eleanor | February 23, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Toilet Seat Rash WBAGNFARB?
Posted by: ScottMGS | February 23, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Well, with all the crap they publish, it was a foregone conclusion!
Posted by: sct72 | February 23, 2006 at 01:33 PM
El - Yes, I did. Good to see you were paying attention.
And it's not plagiarism if you're stealing from yourself... and besides, that line just HAD (HAD, I tell you) to be used for this story.
At least I didn't say "BOOGER".
Posted by: Mr. Completely | February 23, 2006 at 03:22 PM
*Holds lighter flame up for Mudstuffin!*
*Ducks minor explosion*
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 23, 2006 at 03:42 PM
Mud's creation started me thinkin' ... I'm wonderin' if NEbuddy here knows whut "newspaper" would be reporting on a famous TV guy's herd of quadrupeds?
My guess is that it's gotta be the "Daily Gnus" ... merely sayin' ...
Posted by: U.O | February 23, 2006 at 09:44 PM
Maybe the "Buffalo Gnus"?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 24, 2006 at 12:27 AM
Well, technically the Wildebeeste is a member of the antelope clan ... um ... how about "Horny Gnus"?
Posted by: U.O | February 24, 2006 at 04:35 AM