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February 06, 2006

CAR CARE IN NEW ZEALAND

Polly want to be chopped?

(Thanks to Michael Greenspan)

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first!

ooh, shiny!

"The best method to prevent Keas from damaging vehicles is to squirt them with water pistols, he added."

Squirt the cars with water pistols? every time I wash MY car the birds use it for target practice

Somebody REALLY confused the "Wax on Wax off" Karate Kid thing.

Maybe water cannons, moving targets are difficult to hit. Maybe they should stand by with water pistols to wash the poo off the cars, instaed.

"Where are the keys to my Kia?"
"The kea took the keys to your Kia."
"I'm not keen on keas near my Kia."

now i've got that kid's song that ends in "chopped up baby parakeet" running through my brain.

Are you guys listening to Dave on KMOX?

SOUNDIN' GOOD, DAVE!

Tamara - wish I could. Can't get that at work - certain "Entertainment" sites are filtered.

Adding one more to Annie-WBH's punny story, can I put the kia in the Kia, and return this parrot to Ikea, where, when the clerk ask "What kind of bird is that?" the parrot will then say "I kia!"

Or from the Princess Bride:

"You kia my father. Prepare to die"

True story about keas. When they get really hungry, they will land on the back of a sheep, and peck through the back of the live sheep until they can eat the kidneys out of it. The sheep apparently can't do anything about it. Those birds are nuts.

Oh for pity's sake . . .

And I always thought that it was wax on, whacks off... .
No wonder I always got disgusted looks!

The obvious pun was missed here:
Ki-ais for keas!!

re gfunksizzle: If I had to deal with a bird like that, I wouldn't hire karate experts. I'd get people with long range weapons. Unless, of course, I thought the karate and laughing birds would draw crowds better than people armed with the squirt guns recommended by Ray Bellringer. I suppose having one of the black belts getting their brains pecked out would only add to the publicity.

Someone came into the office and started TALKING during Dave's interview! THE NERVE!

Well, I heard the first *half*, at least. :(

Those so-called karate experts sound pretty lame....

Chuck Norris could just glare at the birds for a few seconds and they'd all fall from the sky in a comatose state....

Why not graze a bunch of sheep in the vicinity of the cars?

Or just hold a skeet shooting match with live skeets.

I dunno... the thought of a bunch of men in white pajamas running around after "marauding parrots" has just about moistened my briefs. I don't think we can improve on this concept.

Right On!
It's about time somebody found a practical use for the martial arts.

Also Off-Thread: Just read Gene's latest column. HA! :)

"YOU SO STUPID!"

Reference, anyone?

*zips in*

I can't believe that no one's said it yet but Marauding Parrots
WBAGNFAheavymetalRB!

Parrots laugh? Who knew? I have wild parrots in my neighborhood. They're beautiful - but all they do is eat the apricots off the tree before you can pick them, so I guess I'm lucky!

*hands box of Depends to Mud*

and

Tamara's right

Eleanor,
I have some friends who have a parrot just like the ones in your photo named Kermit (natch) and he's pretty darn funny...

He's got a fairly large vocabulary and one day I was sitting there and he started swinging upside down from his perch and then he jumped up, ran over to the side of the cage where I was at and screamed, "DID YOU SEE THAT? HUH?"

So I clapped. I didn't know what else to do. My friends were like, "Oh, good God, don't encourage him...."

Strange little creatures....

My daddy would shoot all those parrots in the knees
if he had to. Cause my daddy is a patriot!

Do parrots have knees?....

Just wondering....

Last week I made a phone call to a woman and heard a second phone ringing--it was a parrot. She said he wants to be picked up, and he noticed that they pick up the phone when it rings. Time to get a new phone?

My question is, if parrots are so smart, why would they want keys to a car when they can fly?

Parrots can laugh?

Apparently, parrots can laugh and have knees...

Well my parents didnt NAME me CoastRaven El, so it is an alias. But I am new(ish) here (funny, he doesnt LOOK newish) - I discovered this wonderful oasis just before New Years (2006).
And since southerngirl liked it so much, I'll say again...
"Y'all are just my kinda odd. I kinda like it here". I think I'll stay, and hope I am welcome.

so were gonnna have a buncha pajama clad asian men jumping and shouting to scare off wild parrots... insert Jacques Clouseau in there... and its a money maker!

raven, im relatively new too and they tolerate me... passin raven the pez dispenser...

Can't we just get it over with and start
talking about 24 tonight?

I'm betting we exceed the 450+ posts we got
last week?

Who's gonna start?

Yup the natives are friendly here and most of 'em have a goodly sense of the absurd, and there isn't that constant pressure to constantly contribute, constantly. It's ok to blurk; by all means snork away but please clean up after yourself. Yo' Momma don't blog here. (Or maybe she does......cue Twilight Zone music...do do dodo.....DO!!!!!)

"UHF" will always be one of my favorite movies. :)

There's a better way to deal with keas? Nobody told me about it.

man im lost....

so thats why i earned a black belt?? to protect the world of classic cars from birds??? All this time...all that training...sigh

Random.... The Ghi is hot!

All this blogging about 24. Why is there no fun being made of LOST--the next most overly dramatic drama where everybody is constantly emoting and looking over their shoulders for invisible keas who are threatening to eat their brains, as has been happening to some bloggers of late?

ty Kat...I think it brings out the colour of my eyes. :)

These keas are awesome. I've read they have been known to break into homes in search of shiny objects. Hey, they could run for president!

And, they could probably "parrot" speeches as well. Hey, if a guy with Alzheimer's could do it, a kea could.

This is Jack Bauer.
Cease and desist all Kea transmissions.

The keas are sleeper cell agents...repeat
The keas are sleeper agents!

THERE GOES ONE NOW!!!

BLAM! BLAM!..................KAPOW!

CoastR - been hanging here for a coupla years myself, posting occasionally. T'would seem all are welcome, save flamers and spammers. Mostly no serious politics. (Meet ya for a beer if ya wanna talk poitics, first one's on me.)

< inserts many "wolf blitzer comments" in politics chat as i can... because he is hot.....

I never asked if I could play, I just jumped in. May I? (Comes from being a Navy brat, I suppose...)

I agree. This is supposed to be a chuckle, and there is nothing funny about politics.

I have always appreciated how Dave pokes fun at them all.

But back to serious stuff, last time I watched 24 I got the impression that Jack was actually going to die so he could disappear graciously. I sure missed something!

JL, I disagree. Anytime people act insane its funny, and I think we can all agree that ALL politicians are insane. Sooooo, booger!

hey pogo, can i take you up on that free beer? i'll try real hard to be serious!

Chuckle - proof that I am still new(ish) that I dropprd my comment in the wrong thread - Thanx for the pez and the warm welcome all!

anytime raven...

BTW - Pogo (and anyone whos interested) If yer ever in B-more lemme know and we'll do that drink.

raven, pez too?!

Sure - I got some from Kat, so its only fair to share

you're the best!!

I like pez, but I especially like parfait. Unfortunately my dealer (Bumble) has cut me off. Shootdang! I got parfait withdrawl, not cool.

how 'bout a pez and beer parfait?

Opens trenchcoat and shows weasel a spray can of whip cream... wannna make a deal?

YEAH! That would help with my earlier mentioned affliction also.

Okie-doke. I'll just be quiet and read.

Pez makes beer too fizzy crossgirl...errummmm, at least thats what I am told

Helps weasel with infliction...

Whoa! Bad posting arrangement! I meant yes to crossgirl, not kat! (Do you really make parfaits with whipped cream and flashing? Or is that not what you meant by "opens trenchcoat"?)

Do I really have bad inflection kat?

you dont like trench coats an whipped cream,and flashing? silly man....

Just realized how off thread we are here... wheee

"silly man" well, DUH! I would think with a name like weaselbooger that would be evident! I never made any comment on whether I prefered flashing and whipped cream, I just wondered if they were involved with parfait preparation.

Being a man of the male persuasion I would like to inform Kat that "silly man" is about the most redundant that any two words can be without actually repeating yourself.

gender acknowledged, raven...

OK its time for a shot of Cuervo to mark the one hour point til 24 actually begins, and the 10 minute mark til Dave posts the actual 24 posting. CHEERS!! Who wants one - I am buyin

(whispers) me?

I think the only men you cant automatically classify as "silly" are those D&G models, which, amazingly enough, happen to be "of the male persuasion", if you know what I mean.

No insult meant, CR, dawg. (sends CR one of the male-patented imperceptable-head-nods-that-means-wassup)

Cervaca? Por favor? >>> winks

my kinda gurl baligurl!! Say it looud - say it proud - say it slurred!

and for Kat - Agave is a language universal

I think I'm allergic...tequila makes me break out in handcuffs. But I'm game if you are.

thanks for the clarification weasel, for once i didn't lose out to the chic with the whip cream and trench coat!

Crap, I forgot to whisper. Sorry.

I think CR is on to something here. The "Jack Bauer": take a shot, stab the guy next to you in the throat, shoot him in the leg, and then look around like your head is one of those lawn sprinklers! Fun!

seems as if Garik has had enuff tequila

raven, forgive me... i only know one phrase in spanish, and it usually gets me in trouble

i actually invented an interesting libation.... tequila and maple syrup )( canuck here...) try it sometime./....

-The "Jack Bauer": take a shot, stab the guy next to you in the throat, shoot him in the leg, and then look around like your head is one of those lawn sprinklers! -

Can we take out an eye, if it seems more fun?

Okay, I've been accosted by the TypePad police 4 times, and I'm real! But these goofball robots keep posting. (sigh) Oh well, my team in Schweiz needs some more major applications it seems.

3 of those, ya have lumberjack fantasies...

Y'all up north REALLY do put maple syrup on EVERYTHING?? hmmm - interesssssting, and what the hell - worth a try

ya mean those lil codes ya have to type in? slows things down
...

How many before you start singing the "Lumberjack Song" from MP?

mmmmmmm - lumberjack(bauer) fantasies

DAMN - I DIDNT SAY THAT OUT LOUD!!!

I think garik came in the Newsweek wormhole.

garik - May the doorknob hit ya where the good L0rd split ya.

Raven, yes... we use it on everything!

Hes a lumberjack and hes ok... heheheh
actually has the dvd right here... my kid has discovered monty python

mmmmm - everything?!? ... hmmm - interesssssting, and what the hell - worth a try!

i'm a lumber jack bauer and i'm okay? wait no, that's not right. more tequila here please!

In some small northern towns, raven, its considered a marital device

< passin cross the bottle

more tequila - GREAT IDEA rouind for the house!! ... BTW what the hell does this have to do with car care in New Zealand - should we get back (hic) on topic (or can I just get back on top?)

(quiet again...)

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