« Previous | Main | Next »

February 03, 2006

ATTENTION, LADIES LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT MAN

You could search your entire life and never find someone like this.

(Thanks to Karen W., who recommends the "hair" option.)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

(looks around again)

First!

Daisymae's going for the hat trick...!!

Fantastic - one word!

wow, previewing the clips really chews through the toilet paper.

JU

How much toilet paper does this guy need ?

Ah, WHO? keeps a pony in his living room?

*gaaaag*

whoa

I guess the pony helps him "occupy" his time while he's waiting for you... .

:::sniff::: man! That stuff just gets right here, don't it?

Oh...I need a tissue.

Wow, I am sooooooooooooo relaxed after my virtual foot massage. Can I just pay this guy to come over and talk at me for awhile?

Um, Mr. Urinalcakes, and Mr. Texas: It isn't toilet paper. He's the Brawny Paper Towel guy. Gals of the feminine persuasion are well acquainted with him.

... and getting better acquainted with the Productivity Enhancer ...

*Wiping tears - of laughter - off my cheeks*

Wonderfully absurd. Sinfully smarmy.

I watched the "Hair" clip twice. The second time I imagined it as a "Brokeback Bounty" scene.

Seriously, NTTAWWT!

OK - I understand that it is Brawny paper towels, and the guy is hot and buff, and I understand (and even enjoy performing) a foot massage... BUT WHERE THE HELL DOES THE PONY IN THE LIVING ROOM FIT IN in this this fantasy ladies!?!?!?!

Nannie, you know what they say:
Everything's bigger in Texas!

CoastRaven - who cares? just say the part about the foot massage again...

it's a real blog-and-pony show...

**did I say that out loud?**

INsom: *SNORK*

I understand (and even enjoy performing) a foot massage
Make ya feel better Nannie?

Made ALL of us feel better, CR

Mmmm. Foot massage. CoastRaven, I will consider throwing over my husband for you...

Oh My Gosh! Let's not even joke about this--"Thinking about you." gave me shivers.

Happy Valentine's Day to Me!

Gag me with a Ginsu knife
the whole set!!

Where's the men's version? You know, the one with Rosie the Waitress following us around the house, wiping up our spills with a sheet of Bounty?

Actually, in real life that wouldn't be so bad...

I don't know... the guy looks like a lumberjack
to me...

Nurse Tammy - Are you by any chance near Disneyland Hong Kong?

We'll just pass Tammy over the fence...

A store that sells husbands to single women opens where a woman may go to choose from many available men. At the at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

There are only six floors. It states that the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: As you open the door to any floor you may choose any man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, Jane decides to go to the Husband Store to find herself a mate.

She gets to the first floor and the sign says:

"Floor 1 - These men have jobs."

She figures she can do better, so she goes up the next flight.

"Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids."

Not bad, she decides, but what about companionship? She moves on.

"Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking."

Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:

"Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework."

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor, where the sign reads:

"Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 46,012th to this floor today. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step when you exit the building and have a nice day!

Nope. I've never gone to any Disney park. I always sort of hoped Mickey would wander into Looney Tunes territory and get smashed by an anvil or something.

Mr. Completely - THAT might just get you that extra room on the house you have been buggin the Mrs. for.
*snork*

Mr. C - with that one, you are in the basement.
The Valentine's Day one was pretty funny, especially when he translates the name of the star from Italian.
*goes back to find the clip with the pony.*

Mr. C: *SNORK*

I'm not so hard to please, Mr. Complete-Me. I would have stopped at floor #4 and taken the stairs the rest of the way.

For some inexplicable reason I can easily image that Brawny guy picking up a chain saw going totally Hannibal Lecter.
"Hi, I'm so glad you're here. I was out shopping today and I saw something that made me think of you... I just had to buy it." RRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrRRRRRRR

*loving* the Brawny site! Glad to see that the marketing people over there have a sense of humor.

"Pony in the living room" - sounds like it could be a euphemism for something undesirable. "I met this great guy! He's so sensitive and sweet, but I think he might have a pony in the living room ..."

Am I the only one who had trouble keeping up with the postings today? I'm worn out already.

One more thing - the guy in this movie totally creeps me out. It's so premeditated, he's like a stalker. I'd take tck over this guy any day.

Hey CoastRaven -- my initials are CR, so I keep thinking people are talking to me.

Like I'm not confused enough when I bumble through the blog. :-)

this guy is in need of some serious stylist attention... right after he gives me another foot massage and shows me where he's hiding that pony.

Dont worry Cheryl - I hear people talking to me all the time too - even when there isnt anyone around... hmmmmmmm

trying desperately not to say "I'll be your pony crossgirl"... I just wont say it... nope!

**SNORK** @ CR. (not cheryl.) you'll excuse me while i go drain the coke from my keyboard.

Mr. C ~ The version I saw had a little more at the end...

Across the street there was a new "Wife store" for men.

First floor sign says "these women love sex"

Second floor sign says "these women love sex and have lots of money"

No man has ever gone above the second floor.

Cheryl~ Don't use that word. Now you're confusing me. It's like in school; whenever things were outlined in books using letters of the alphabet, the teacher would say "B" and I'd be like, "Huh?"

This is too hilarious. He is kind of creepy though. I'm gonna send it to my friend, then go back and play with it some more.

Mr. C~ Where might I find this store? With my pre-knowledge, I can stop at floor five. And since I'll be the first to stop, I should have an excellent selection. Thanks for the tip.

This lumberjack guy is better than my marriage counselor. I think I now get this whole marriage thing. I'm cured.

*high five to southerngirl*

"Don't be tellin' me 'bout no foot massage. I got my technique down and everything. I don't be ticklin' or nothing."

AnnieWBH ~ I agree with you. I think he's waaay creepy.


(Oh, and TCK says "hey") ;)

You'd think that people
Would have had enough
Of the Brawny stud'n a thong
I look around me and I see it isn't so (oh no)
Some people wanna fill the world
With the Brawny stud'n a thong
And what's wrong with that?
I'll let ya know
So here I go again
He loves you, He loves you

I can explain the feelings of pain to thee;
Will you see?

Ah, he can't give more,
He gave it all to thee now can't you see?
What's wrong with that?
You need to know

Brawny man'll come in a minute
Most times you won't come at all
He only knows that when he's in it
It isn't pretty, it isn't pretty,
It isn't pretty at all

How can I tell you about the Brawny one?
How can I tell you about the Brawny one?

Bumble - Hate to break it to you, but the store, like the perfect man, is only mythical.

Kinda like a unicorn, only without the horn.

On second thought, never mind.

I started a couple of those clips, hurled, and gave 'em up, so I don't know if there is anything in there that answers the question THIS inquiring mind (such as it is) wants to know: the pony he's cohabiting with, is it male or female?

"Pony in the living room" - sounds like it could be a euphemism for something undesirable. "I met this great guy! He's so sensitive and sweet, but I think he might have a pony in the living room ..."

Excellent

Why C-bol, that was such a silly little love song!

S'girl - is he under your bed again? He's suspiciously quiet today.

Man. I don't know how Brawny Man and the camera person managed to shoot all that without breaking down in uncontrollable spasms of laughter.

southerngirl~ We should get together and film some kind of stepford wife counterpart to this. I've got the perfect costume: Sleeveless a-line button-down dress that comes mid-calf; white with black polka-dots. Pearl necklace and studs, white pumps.

"How was your day, dear? Oh, I know. Sitting in front of that computer blogging all day long is a rough gig. I've got some beer and homemade fried chicken set up on the TV tray there. Why don't you sit down and watch the game? I'll massage your shoulders."

Nah, wouldn't work. We'd be in stitches before we got halfway through.

I ... even enjoy performing a foot massage


Just thought I would throw that out there again

Annie, we're...uh, I mean he's...uh, you see, we were just...and then what happened was ...um...Just never you mind what he's doing, um, I mean where he is! *winks*

Bumble, that would be a RIOT!!! Count me in!

CoastRaven~ Come on over anytime. ;-)

Count on it Bumble!

D'oh! Brawny Man loses points for the spider clip in the custom section. You're supposed to squish the darn things, not release them into the wild so they can come back in!

I'm with you Bumble - you'd think he of ALL people would have a paper towel to squish it with!! (sorry thats "with which to squish it")

Where's the foot massage? I found the pony in "that thing you're going through". Is the foot massage a custom one? god, that Brawny guy has no brains, but he makes up for it....

CR, enjoy bumbles feet, but remember, you're (not your) MY pony!

"My little pony, my little pony..."

Our secretary here pointed out that Mr. Brawny, aka Mr. Sensitive Pants looks an awful lot like Jeff Foxworthy, although I imagine his take on "That thing you're going through with your pony" might be a tad bit different.

crossgirl - ready for a ride?

66 posts and no one has mentioned "The Continental"
Ok, Would you like some cham-pog-nay?

I sent "random breakdown" to a friend of mine who is having a bad day.
I have never encountered any problem that can not be over come by a good looking man, a loud guitar, or a large slab of cake.
Combine all three and were talking problem solving on world peace levels...

God bless Brawny. Despite the fact it's pure schmaltz, I still had to resist the urge to crawl into the monitor.

if u are the man for ne here is my number4880178 or 3893884

cll me 4880178 or 3893884

i am mr peter , am businessman i will like to meet u call me if u wish totake to me am very atltice

The Valentine's Day one was pretty funny, especially when he translates the name of the star from Italian.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise