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February 23, 2006


Mr. Gene Weingarten, who is well aware of this blog's policy of not making fun of names, has advised us to avoid posting this link.


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That must be why he looks so constipated.

Not to be confused with his Chinese cousin, Ai Fling Poo.

Looks like he hasnt Takenoshita in about a month.

Which translates into the vernacular as "Carl Hiaasen"

Talk about your air-tight alibi for the toilet seat theft...


"I think I ate the photonics labe manul whole!"

You guys better stop it. This fellow is Takenoshita from you!

Glowing with fluorescence, Mr. Takenoshita is a neon candle in the dark.

And his cousin: Pin Ching Aloaf.

I wonder if he knows Mrs. Blogisbrave Shepeedinahole?

Wait - we may be reading this all wrong, due to cultural differences (such as not having any culture).

What if he's a mega tough-guy Karate master?

"You don't want to make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

"Are you the Hulk?"

"No, I'm Mr. Takenoshita, bucko."

My friend James Ihaveabigmoleonmythighthatbleedswhenipickatit says there's nothing "funny" about having a "funny name".

I say, "Sure, not for YOU."

Then we throw stuff at him.

Good times.

Kinda like one of the new Powerball winners... Dung Tran. No joke.

Oh man, that's MY school.

I should have been able to beat Mr. Weingarten to it.

As William "Francis Bacon" Shakespeare once said, "What's in a name?".

and his first name is kazitushie?? what?? seems to be a good fit.

Guys in his defense maybe a "reporter" from the New York Times has been to his house recently.

I'm offended that they'd post this guy's name.

'Cause he's one of those horrible people who ends up being nicknamed Kaz and getting an account on some website right before I do.

Are we allowed to have naughty words in our randomly generated taglines?

I guess I could change it to say "needle-Waltered".

Words of the Sentient:
You say our country's never been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than a king, queen and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch. -- P.J. O'Rourke

Did you guys read through Gene's chat?

For a few minutes there, I thought I was a sociopath!

Oh, don't even say it.

And what is the blogs policy regarding just plain old making names up?

Unpopular opinion follows:

The immigration processors at Ellis Island did a lot of people a lot of favors by changing names before people could get into America. Somehow, I think Takenoshita would have been changed if he had come through Ellis Island. Without the foresight of those proud Americans, everyone in America would be a Takenoshita or a Dungeater or a Peeinmaself.

Right you are, Nate.

Professor: There's some shit missing from our lab. Did anyone borrow the plasma laser and forget to put it back?

Research Assistant 1: Are you accusing us of stealing shit from the lab?

Professor: Well, everyone but Kaz. Kaz, you can leave, I know you couldn't have done it.

Nate - one of the wondrous things done at Ellis Island was to anglisize spellings. I had the experience of taking retirement claims from two brothers (same mom and dad) with different last names. They came through Ellis on different days or were processed by different clerks.

What's the anglisized spelling of Takenoshita?

Nate - Takenoshita anagrams to "a Take no sh*t".

Just tryin to help.

I think it's Takhomasack.

I still haven't decided whether I should consider not being suspected in the laser theft flattering, or insulting.

It looks like my tagline randomizer found itself.

ls | head -$[ ($RANDOM % `ls | wc | awk '{print $1}'`) + 1 ] | tail -1

LTTG *SNORK* at Christobol! (honorable 'tee-hee' to the rest of y'all)

Tah - kay - no - she - tah

This is great, immature stuff. Today around our office I have christened Kaz as our new compliance officer. Now whenever anyone is screwing around they are told that Mr. Takenoshita will be informed of their activities.

Lou: So, let's talk about that baseball team of yours. Who's on first?
Bud: Takenoshita
Lou: Right, I won't. Now who's on first?
Bud: Takenoshita
Lou: Fine. I'm getting enough from you as it is....Who's on second, then?
Bud: No, What's on second.
Lou: I don't know.
Bud: He's on third.
Lou: How did I get to third base? I'm still trying to figure out who's on first.
Bud: Takenoshita....
Lou: Security!!

i love gene, and think all of his bloglits are CRAZY. why on earth do women use more than one bar of soap? i don't understand them.

Only those women. And, as you said, they are crazy.

Did you see the semi-recent "wiping" chat? Oh! Em! Gee!

no, and i didn't see the one someone referred to at the end of this one that sounded pretty funny...

Blue - you reminded me of a conversation I had with CG at lunch yesterday.
Me: Bon Jovi has a new album out. Have a Nice Day.
CG: U2.
Me: It's either How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb or Vertigo.
CG: I said, you too.
ME: I KNOW. I just don't know which is the newest.
CG: And Bon Jovi's? (he's figured it out by now, but I had a margarita and had NO CLUE)
CG: U2.
Repeat until he felt sorry for me and explained. It was hilarious.

Name-stealing bastards.

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