24

OK, I read through the comments on last night's episode. Many of them were about ice dancing. I don't recall there being any ice dancing in 24 last night, but I am not ruling it out, either, because the spisode was very confusing (to me, anyway).

This season seems to be caught in an endless plot loop, wherein bad guys get canisters, and instead of going after the bad guys, the authorities go after Jack Bauer, but of course he gets away and goes after the bad guys, and either he or somebody else kills the bad-guy leader, whereupon a new bad-guy leader appears immediately, and the authorities react by... going after Jack, who gets away and goes after the new bad guys, and either he or somebody else kills the new bad-guy leader, whereupon an even newer bad-guy leader appears, which prompts the authorities to... go ice dancing.

No, seriously, the authorities go after Jack again. Also in every episode President Manilow stands around gaping like a grouper and not making any decisions, and Chloe continues uplinking and downloading amid various melodramas at CTU HQ, and various extras continue setting up perimeters, and at the end of the episode... nothing seems to have changed.

I miss Marwan.

UPDATE: Commenter puppytoes sends a link to this article on last night's episode by Ken Tucker, who is clearly a LOT smarter than I am, although he totally missed the ice-dancing angle.

Comments

[Punkin Poo]

I think the commercials for 24 are way more exciting than the actual show. Now, last night's ice dancing was like a soap opera with all the whining and cold stares. Now, if you could get Jack on skates with an AK47....that would REALLY be must see TV!

[Peg Leg Pete, CPA]

I miss BerOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZZZ

[Punkin Poo]

Oh....and I find it really easy to be FIRST! on tuesdays...all the 24 junkies are still sleeping it off....

Good Morning, DAVE!

[Suzy Q]

It's like the song that never ends.

[Punkin Poo]

"This is the plot that doesn't end..
It just goes on and on my friend.
Some people started writing it
Not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue writing it
Forever just because
It is the plot that doesn't end......"

[MOTW]

Marwan is busy Ice Dancing with the Stars.

[Lamb Chop]

Very funny, Punkin Poo.

[wolfie]

gaping like a grouper could be the next hottest ice dancing move.

[mudstuffin]

or groping like a Gabr

[puppytoes]

we haven't been watching 24 this season... apparently that was a massive mistake (what can i say? we just got so stinkin' sick of sherri and jack's daughter, kim. we didn't know it would get better. WE DIDN'T KNOW). sigh. nevertheless, i did read i fairly decent overview of last night's episode by ken tucker on cnn.com, which you can find at this link:

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/commentary/0,6115,1161488_3_0_,00.html

do i care? no. do i hope this sheds a bit of light on whatever it is that needs light shedding... er... on? sure. i'm still working on last night's whole house/supermodel/slept with daddy/oh-my-god-she's-not-a-girl-cuz-she's-got-balls episode.

[daisymae]

gaping like a grouper

or Groping like a Gabr

WBANotBadNFARB

[CoastRaven]

Dave - I gotta say, after missing last weeks episode, I was almost as confused as you when the episode started. However, several Brewers Art draft beers, and a couple of shots of Cuervo helped to clear things up a bit. It's kinda like AlQueda. We are always killing "The Number Three Man in the AlQueda Leadership", and they ALWAYS have a new number three guy to replace him... wouldn’t you think that after awhile, people would stop lining up for the Number Three Gig? Maybe they would start treating it like the thirteenth floor of a high-rise, and just skip it... you know got from the Number Two guy straight to Number Four. Anyhoo - that’s just what the Cuervo told me last night. It failed to explain however, why they keep treating Jack like a sport fish... catch him and throw him back catch him and throw him back... It also failed to explain how I got home, and the name of the lady whose underwear I was using for a helmet.

[daisymae]

Who said, 'The more things change, the more they stay the same.'

(don't tell me something st*pid like Homer Simpson)

[Punkin Poo]

Mmmmmmmmmmm....lamb chops......

Oh, and by the way, when does Jack eat, pee or shave?

[J who.]

Hello,

Never read last night's 24 comments when you are in your 3-hour long cataloguing class. You might squeal at some of the funny comments, and shriek out a response, and then your professor would stop expounding on AACR2 rule 2.12, and glare at you, and if your professor is anything like this one, she might ask you to "share," which would make you feel 5 years old.

Nope. Better to save the comment-reading for later, and school your features into a nondescript expression, and pay some attention to the lecture, or pretend to do so.

But those comments are still calling to me.

[Suzy Q]

*snork* at CoastRaven

So true!

[Mad Soapboxer]

"Who said, 'The more things change, the more they stay the same.'" ??? Daisymae dear, YOU said it, right up there in post number something or other!

Sheeee....

[Some_people_juggle_geese.™]

"Oh, and by the way, when does Jack eat, pee or shave?"

on the 25th hour. or maybe he wears depends.

[«LabSpecimen»]

DaisyMae, I think it was the French novelist, Alphonse Karr.

[daisymae]

*snork* @ Mad Soapboxer

[Blue Meanie]

Daisy - not Bill Withers.

[Crash]

He pees into the terrorists' food, cars, hats, guns, etc, when the camera cuts away and he's not busy eating their brains.

I don't know when he shaves. I think maybe he just doesn't.

[Christobol]

Best I can tell, without having seen an episode, 24 is like a big-budget action movie you get tricked into enjoying, but the moment it's over, before you can even get to the lobby, your brain kicks in and starts asking stuff like "Why did Noogypants Blackheart tie Flint Strongjaw to that angry squid contraption instead of just shooting him when he had the chance? And how the squid have exploded like that, underwater? And what did that have to do with all those women who couldn't find any clothes?

Your brain had been wanting to ask those questions during the movie, but clever sensory overload plot twists, such as trains running into blimps and causing the Eiffel Tower to fall into Chesapeake Bay kept distracting you.

So 24 would probably work better without commercial breaks, and certainly can't withstand time between episodes, unless you work hard to stay very drunk.

Hope this helps.

[kibby F5™]

...and the name of the lady whose underwear I was using for a helmet.

Coast, I have that problem with Cuervo too. Difficult to understand.

[daisymae]

*snork* @ kibbyF5 AND CoastRaven

[«LabSpecimen»]

"But I don't like spam!"

[daisymae]

judi/dave: why is there a post with a bunch of casino sites in the blog?

[crossgirl]

aaahh raven, i was wondering where i left those.

[targetgirl]

I miss Marwan too :(

*weeps*

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

It wasn't me, 'cuz I wasn't wearing...

*befuddled expression*

*squinting at ceiling*

Was I?

[kibby F5™]

I really think 24 is a cleaver plot by Al Qu guys to keep us from finding out the truth behind their fiendish plan to corner the penut butter futures market. While we're blogging 24 they're out there, one peanut at-a-time, cornering everything for which America stands.

The free pursuit of peanut butter happieness.

A car in the garage and a jar of peanut butter in the cupboard is as American as Apple Pie and baseball! Just think about it. NO PB&Js! NO brittle! NO Reesies! No mouse trap bait!

WHERE WILL IT END!!!???

THIS is ONE! American that will not fall for it! NO WAY BUDDY! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ME!!!

... what was the question?

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Oh, thank heavens for Crossgirl!

I wasn't! *Whew!*

[Christobol]

Dave,

You owe me a beer next time I run into you. That article from Ken Tucker was completely unfunny.

Unless the joke is that someone is trying to write serious critical commentary on a goofball tv show.

Okay, I get it.

But I still want that beer.

[kibby F5™]

no Tamara, I don't think you were ;-0

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Kibby, I've been stockpiling peanut butter since 1982 for that very reason.

And some of you bloglits may be skeptical, but, I mean, why do you think Jimmy Carter grows peanuts?

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

"He grows peanuts because he hasn't got any--"

STOP THAT! BAD bloglits!

Also, I am not stockpiling peanuts for any reason relating to a lack of undergarments. Just to clarify.

[CoastRaven]

Psst - crossgirl wears SEXY undies... pass it on!
*wonders if she ever sold a cross MADE out of thongs... just thinkin*

[Schadeboy]

I feel good knowing I don't have to watch this show. I watch CSI: Miami, which tends to have easier to follow plots. But maybe that's just an example of my simple mind? I don't know. At any rate, all I have to do to get as utterly confused as (apparently) y'all who watch this show is come here an dread the updates and the comments.

So I feel included, now.

[Atticusser]

Did anybody notice that the new terrorist leader guy is the Professor who "accidentally" brought a killer spider back from South America that eventually would have wiped out an entire small town, and probably the entire west coast, if Jeff Daniels hadn't shot it with a nail gun first? Do I smell a connection here?

Conveniently, he didn't have a Russian accent in that movie (Arachnaphobia) either.

[J who.]

I have never seen 24 either, but I love to read the comments-- I just wind up thinking, "what an odd show I am missing." I prefer CSI as well, though I watch the Las Vegas one. You're right, CSIs have easier-to-follow plots. That's why I like them, I can study and do my homework AND watch the show without worrying that I won't understand something.

[ZP]

I'm curious...does the First Lady actually believe that given the fact that Pres-Manilow has uttered the phrase "...if only we had let them release the nerve gas!" that he would really stop the assasination attempt on the Russian Prez? - that said Pres-Manilow is now fully complicit in? - just because she's in the car?

I suppose if he loved her enough to think she was crazy and send her to the loony hospital because she got in the way of his press conference, he'll love her enough to call off the terrorists.

[Blue Meanie]

Way back I pledged not to pedantically bring attention to meaningless typos, but reserved the right to point out ones that were funny. And so,.....

"....come here an dread the updates and the comments." Attention, Sigmund!

(Sorry, Schadey, couldn't help m'self. I love 'em so.)

[Atticusser]

Kibby F5 said: "I really think 24 is a cleaver plot..."

So that whole clean cut image by Wally and the Beaver was just an act? Diabolical! What's next? Opie and Richie are actually the same person? Yeah right! And I suppose it's all just a ruse to cover he true identity as a Hollywood power broker!

You and your crazy stories kibby!

[J who]

Doth it cleave the plot in twain?

[ScottMGS]

Coast - Re: that number 3 vacancy: I figure that it's kept open for a reason...

ObL: So, number 2, what do we hear from Peshawar? Is that whippersnapper shaping up?

#2: Hmmm... I'm sorry to say that he still doesn't agree.

ObL: Yes, but is he doing what I told him to anyway?

#2: Ah... no.

ObL: Okay, #4, you have a new boss...

#4: No!

ObL: Yes. Head over to Peshawar and let him know he's my new #3. He'll know what I mean.

I suppose, though, that it's no different when the Pres doesn't get his way...

POTUS: Dick, why don't you invitate Brownie on your next, ah, excursionation.

VPOTUS: Sure.

POTUS: Why don't you take that young whippersnapper, Jack Bauer with you, too.

[Stealth]

Never have watched 24. Assume it's on TV. Betting it's Monday nite.

Question: Is Barry Manilow the President?

[J who (really ought to be listening to the lecture)]

As I understand it, the President is a sort of weenie guy who, if he were to open his mouth and sing, would sing just like Manilow.

[«LabSpecimen»]

Stealth: Yes, he is. And no, not really. Sort of. Yes. Maybe.

Hope that helps.

[«LabSpecimen»]

Origin (May 2, 2005):
And let us not forget that the acting president of the United States is a man so severely testosterone-impaired that he makes Barry Manilow look like Vin Diesel.
-- The Blog Himself

[CoastRaven]

*snork* @ ScottMGS
Can't fault THAT kinda logic!

[Daniel]

I didn't watch 24 but i did watch Ice Dancing on NBC.

[ArcticAl]

Don't know if you guys down south got this short 24 commercial on FOX during 24 last night, but we had it on Global up here in Canada which carries 24 here. The short ad said that Bill Gates is a 24 fanatic to the point where his family asked to hire Keifer Sutherland to star in a short movie to be shown at Bill's birthday 50th party. Don't know if Jack made it to MS land or not (not knot). At least we have something in common with Bill Gates, even if it isn't 24 bazillion dollars.

[crossgirl]

hey, raven, i have made a cross with a garter belt and have another with a fishnet stocking. no thongs thus far.

[Mad Soapboxer]

OK folks, Marwan's been located, in Ohio.

[Joeltron]

Best quote of the night -

Jack: WHERE CAN I FIND THE NERVE GAS CANISTERS!?!!?

Nathanson: In my pocket.

[Flank 2 Position]

Nathanson looks like Benny Hill.

[arminius]

FYI, for site administrator: Last night's analysis of 24 is the only 24-related item that isn't categorized under the 24 section of the blog. Would hate for it to get lost to history....

[Novanglus]

My husband thought Nathanson looked like Rush Limbaugh. Let's see, we have a Dick Cheney look a like, a Nixon look-a-like, how about a Bill Gates look-a-like?

And we've gone from ice skating to thongs. Maybe we'll see some thong ice-skating costumes.

[Cretin]

Did anyone notice that one of the terrorists indicted in Ohio today was named Marwan?

[Ellasmom]

All I want to know is where does Jack come up with the cellular telephones that he uses?
They do EVERYTHING and the battery never gets low.
And last night apparently he changed phones at some point and managed to pick up one that can read computer chips! My phone still has trouble getting my voice mail to me within the same day.

[KDFgirl]

Whoa. That Ohio Marwan article also quotes Assistant U.S. Attorney David BAUER, and ISIANMTU. Coincidence?

[CoastRaven]

garters & fishnets huh crossgirl... THAT would be an interesting cross to bare.

[U.O]

NEone read the comments after that article?

Sheesh! These ... um ... blog posters ... are so fanatical they can't even see the ineptitude and lameness of the (so-called) plot line or the weakness of the writing ...

Face it! It's all a Hollywood-inspired fantasy ... any resemblance to reality, logical thought processes or competence is totally unexpected, though, theoretically, remotely possible ...

[Deborah]

puppytoes: it's okay to not watch the show. I quit watching tv several years ago when I realized it's more fun to read about the shows than watch them. Everytime I'd read a review that raved about a show I'd be disappointed when I saw it. This way I can continue to believe that all the shows are just great! (Except for the shows that get panned in reviews; reviews about a performance the reviewer hates are the best entertainment around.) And I never have to live with the let-down that comes from dashed expectations.

[Selena Kang]

I wanted to point out that at one point during this episode, Chloe told Jack to "upload it to her socket."

Also, when new bad guys were plotting out the path of the Russian president's motorcade, they said the best place to strike would be...here. Then drew a giant circle and a giant X in it that covered half of the map they were looking at.

[toofout]

Looks like I've found my new favorite 24 blog.

I love how no matter what 24 blog you go to, they're all calling McGill either "The Hobbit" or "Rudy". Do you think they do that around CTU? It would certainly explain why he's so testy all the time.

Also, check out this 24 blog: http://underpantsontheoutside.com/blog/?p=66. It's not as good as Dave, but it still makes me giggle.

[Patty]

Is anyone else having this problem? It's only Thursday and I have completely forgotten every plot twist and detail from last Monday!!!! Thanks to the postings, Marwan is coming back into memory but I don't remember the ice skating in Ohio episode. Was that last Monday?? Is there a cure for this random memory deletion??