24

Here's the situation going into tonight's episode:

 

-- Despite the best efforts of fearless super-agent Jack Bauer, the terrorists are still at large with 19 deadly nerve-gas canisters and at least that many accents.

 

-- The president of the United States continues to display the leadership qualities of a dead conch.

 

-- Nobody at CTU has been able to stop the terrorists or – more important – make Audrey shut up.

 

In another alarming development, troubling cracks have begun to develop in the plot. In the blog comments regarding last week's episode, commenter Jimmyk offered this analysis:

 

Ok, I don't mean to take any of this seriously, but here's the situation: The canisters are useless without the 'chip,' as far as CTU knows. So (they) send Jack out to the terrorists with the chip, GIVE THE CHIP TO THE TERRORISTS, allow hundreds of women and childred to die, just so they can make sure to get those other canisters, WHICH WOULD BE USELESS WITHOUT THE CHIP THAT THEY JUST HANDED TO THE TERRORISTS… Can someone help me?

 To which commenter Tallulah added:

 

Jimmyk -- I was thinking the exact same thing, re: if the terrorists need the chip for the nerve gas to go off, why give them the freaking chip? At first, I was thinking, surely it's not a chip that actually detonates the device--it must be a tracking device! But, no! It's the real thing, and now CTU and Jack have actively participated in giving the terrorists back a functioning weapon, which they must now move heaven and earth to prevent from functioning. I don't get it, either.

My own feeling is that the main problem with the canisters is that they are boring. I've decided I'm going to give this season one more episode to improve, and if it doesn't, then, dammit, I'm going to keep watching anyway. Because that's the kind of American I am.

UPDATE: The beautiful woman on House is actually a man!

UPDATE: There's going to be a twist we won't believe.

UPDATE: Oooh. An early stabbing. Good sign.

UPDATE: I have NO idea what's going on so far, but it's violent, which is good.

UPDATE: Does it seem like every 15 minutes, they (a) set up a freaking perimeter, and (b) take Jack back into custody?

UPDATE: I can't put spaces between my updates.

UPDATE: Jack choked his own guy. That wacky renegade loner Jack!

UPDATE: OK, I am experiencing serious technical difficulties with my update capability. I will try setting up a perimeter and downloading the schematics, but you may be on your own for the rest of this episode in the comments section. This is probably a good thing, as I do no remotely understand the plot any more.

UPDATE: I can't be certain, but I think the president is on T-Mobile.

UPDATE: Maybe the Hobbit will shoot Audrey.

UODATE: It's all about oil!

UPDATE: Why is Jack suddenly helping the guy who shot Palmer? Who are the hostiles? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

UPDATE: I admire how they get excellent phone reception, even inside a building with a hail of bullets.

UPDATE: I have no idea who that guy was, and now he's dead.

UPDATE: Chloe's gonna data-mine the files and keep it under the radar. God, I love Chloe.

UPDATE: The president reminds me more and more of Lincoln.

UPDATE: Why is the Hobbit in such a snit? Does anybody understand that? Or anything else? No? OK, then.

UPDATE: Omichron! I KNEW it!

UPDATE: This episode was written by the Random Plot Generator.

UPDATE: The first lady TAKES ACTION.

UPDATE: What was the twist we don't believe? I am SO confused.

Comments

[adonis]

first

[PirateBoy]

So that is the problem with 24? Jack Bauer has a chip on his shoulder?

[jim]

i have this growing sense of reality being suspended...you know,like strange, unexplainable things could begin to happen...
different, but not necessarily bad...

i have the strangest feeling that this will last about an hour or so...

but i don't know why...

weird...

[Betsy]

PB...I'm glad to see you! The hell with the canisters; what I want to know is, are you PirateBoy because of your devotion to the FSM? Are you among those who are come (note archaic language) to save us by building up the pirate population?

[Brian Day]

What, no "House" comments yet?

We need CTU to move East. Then House can treat bullet wounds to the thigh.

[daisymae]

House is on morphine.

[qetzal]

That's a great picture of Audrey! Has she done something new with her hair?

[Lane-o]

Hi All,
I would have posted sooner but I had to go through my ritual preparations for the Bauer Hour. First, I squeeze (by hand) a grapefruit, then add a hefty shot of vodka (if I can sneak it, my husbands good Gray Goose, if not Smirnoff will do). Then add a handful of peanuts and I'm ready to suspend all disbelief. Which the way this season is going sometimes means I need a second drink to get me through the last half. See you in the TV room.

[daisymae]

On Star - when nobody else understands...

[qetzal]

BTW - did the terrorists do something to The Blog's font size?

[daisymae]

Is somebody planning to kill the Russian president?

[jim]

you are now entering the "24 Zone"...

[adonis]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHERECOMESJACK! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE THIGH!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! *Jack stabs someone in the thigh* BLOOP!

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!

GO JACKSACK™, GO!

[daisymae]

Maybe House should take a look at Tony.

[wolfie]

WooHoo graphic violence. They better not be toying with me again.

[Stormy Dragon]

qetzal:

View->Text Size->Larger

[Momanon]

It was actually easier to believe that the House girl was a man than to believe that she is really 15.

[bizrey]

Actually Mr. President, they died in a mall.

[adonis]

Hey! The blog cut off the end of my long word. I meant HERECOMESJACK! Aw poopie.

[daisymae]

Oooo...if the Hobbit were in Jack's shoes we'd ALL be in trouble.

[qetzal]

A twist we won't believe?

Nah. Fox knows we 24 fans will believe anything.

[FleaBailey]

Jack has NOTHING!

[adonis]

Maybe Pres Weenie wanted all those people in the mall to die so he could look important. "See honey? I can make life and death decisions!"

[daisymae]

A new terrorist...Adonis...killed pretty boy.

[AlmeidaisGod]

i FINALLY BEAT 24 THE MOBILE oops... mobile game today.. 8 days till the ps2 game gcomes out... oh no the Bad Guy in his headache inducing tv room!!!

[bizrey]

Wow, this group has the worst benefits program ever.

[wolfie]

Sweet! One terrorist down and we are only 3 minutes in. This episode has potential.

[philintexas]

Not sure I like the Terrorist retirement plan

[2.0]

If Jack doesn't kill someone with a fork tonight, I am going on a hunger strike. This is just ridiculous.

[FleaBailey]

Julian Sands???!!!!!

Yummy!

[qetzal]

Stormy -

Yeah, except it's only affecting The Blog's 24 post. Not even the Updates.

Is it also only affecting me? Weird.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

No! Don't stab the Russain Al Michael's in the stomach! IT'S THE THIGH, YOU FOOL!

YOU'RE NO JACK BAUER!

[AlmeidaisGod]

Bad guys dont last long in this show

[daisymae]

Oops - adonis...didn't mean you.

[bizrey]

I want a hot dog, find Nathan NOW!!

[Thomas Boas]

GO! JACK Just Shoot

[Cheesewiz]

Every one is getting a shot off except jack

[adonis]

WHAA? daisymae, did you just shoot me in the thigh? Look, just because we have differing religious views doesn't mean... HEY, STOP THAT!

[AlmeidaisGod]

DONT GIVE LYNN THE KEYCARD BACK!!! he needs to suffer for trying to kill jack

[qetzal]

Who ARE all these people? Have we seen them before?

I'm confused....

[daisymae]

Samwise needs the keycard

[FleaBailey]

Duane?

His name is Duwayne???!!!

Obviously NOT a mole.

[bizrey]

Words fail me...

[daisymae]

Now Samwise needs a job...

[philintexas]

crack ho sister and pissed off wienie president...hobbit's having a bad day

[AlmeidaisGod]

Yeah lynn take friggin responsiblility... i think we all know lynn wouldnt last 5 minutes in jacks shoes... i hope he gets shot soon.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

CTU Hobbit is not having a good day...

[FleaBailey]

Oh my, they're setting up a perimeter again.

God help us.

[jim]

another perimeter?

[qetzal]

Wow. They've activated all search protocols. Impressive.

[daisymae]

Chloe looks pissed as usual

[Momanon]

Perimeter!!! Everone take a drink!

[m4ttb4rr]

Tricksy hobbitses

[Joe L]

A Perimeter! A Perimeter! They're going to set up a Perimeter!

[philintexas]

uhoh ...Jack's gonna get detention for this one

[scat]

Jack can be diciplined later. I like the way he said that.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Me thinks CTU Hobbit needs to cut back on the caffeine...

[Sam G.]

Wow. I missed like...two lines of dialogue and now I have no idea what's going on.
A bunch of people died, and Samwise is getting short (Har!) with the rest of his CTU team.

[bizrey]

Yeah, hobbit looks like he's got about 30lbs of overpressure in him.

[AlmeidaisGod]

I think jacks gonna beat the crap out of the people who want to take him in...

[jim]

oh no, not his gun...

[philintexas]

no thighshooting for Jack ...at least for now

[Blue Meanie]

President Weasel eats....

[m4ttb4rr]

Taking Jack's gun will leave him with only 46 ways to kill a man.

And 13 to shoot him in the thigh.

[qetzal]

Oh, good. The Blog is also confused. I'm in good company.

[Reddish Jode]

If Chloe and Jack had a child, would it grow up to look cool and confused simultaneously?

[wolfie]

No gun = sharp pointy things to the neck?

[Sam G.]

Jeez. Everyone knows of Audrey's "special" relationship with Jack.

[FleaBailey]

Audrey to Nathanson:

"No I will not put you through, because you did not use the magic word."

[bizrey]

(Incoming obscure geek reference -->) I guess Nathonson found a cure for his vampirism

[AlmeidaisGod]

Curtis is goin down

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I think Jack is about to stab Curtis in the thigh...

Poor Curtis...

[AlmeidaisGod]

WHO WAS RIGHT? TOO PREDICTABLE.

[bizrey]

Geez, remind me to come to a full stop when riding with Jack Bauer!

[m4ttb4rr]

Jack didn't like Curtis' advice about Audrey

[Cheesewiz]

bauer nap grip

[Sam G.]

Almeidais-You called it!

(I'm still utterly baffled)

[kimsch]

Dave - use a couple of break tags < br > without the spaces at the end of each update, should give you spaces between.

[qetzal]

Something is very wrong. First the terrorist tamper with The Blog's font size. Now they've stolen is spaces!

Why is Jack never around when there's a REAL emergency?

[Geoff Brown]

DING! Jack just threatened someone's life again.

[wolfie]

*snork* @cheesewiz

[adonis]

qetzal! Don't look now, but THEY STOLE YOUR "H" TOO!

[qetzal]

And they stole my "s" and my "h"! Bastards!

[Geoff Brown]

Good Lord, now he's punching the guys who are on his side!

[daisymae]

SNORK @ wolfie

[judi]

audrey is the paramedic from THIRD WATCH for gods sake. why didn't anyone TELL me?

[daisymae]

judi's right! OMG!

[wolfie]

Ummm.. cause I've never seen it judi?

[qetzal]

This is scary. They steal my "s" and "h" and add a "d" to Dave's Update.

Where will it all end?

[«LabSpecimen»]

I know it's just me, but how would have allowing all of the gas to be released prevented the guy that was ALREADY PACKED AND IN HIS CAR from sitting there and WATCHING TO SEE IF HIS PALS WERE FOLLOWED?

And also, WHY AM I SHOUTING?

[adonis]

judi- THATS where I knew her from. Wasn't she whiny on that show too?

[cloturemonkey]

Julian Sands is the new Marwan.

[daisymae]

uh oh Audrey's in trouble.

[Shattered]

Wow, Curtis bounced back fast. It usually takes me at least 5 minute to rebound from being knocked out and left by the side of the road.

[judi]

she was pretty whiny... i just watched an ep while i was sick where her boyfriend died, though, so i guess it was okay to be whiny.

[Reddish Jode]

NOW THEY ARE TRIANGULATING!!!!

I'd like to slap Curtis myself!

[wolfie]

WonderChloe can't triangulate on Jack? That's it. She's getting punished later too.

[Cheesewiz]

the hobbit is trying to be cunning. Not working.

[adonis]

qetzal! It happened to Shattered too! Everyone watch your s's!