24

My wife is off covering the Olympics, which means that I'm solely responsible for our five-year-old daughter. So I regret to announce that tonight I had to look into my heart and make a decision: Should I watch a silly, meaningless television show, or should I act as a responsible parent and take care of my child?

I'm sure she'll be fine.

I am not so sure about 24. The plot has been moving at the speed of the Department of Motor Vehicles. Last year, we had Air Force One getting shot down AND half the nuclear power plants in the United States melting down AND a nuclear missile heading to Los Angeles. This year, so far, we have: canisters. A large chunk of last week's episode was devoted to showing the reconfiguring of these canisters; in terms of dramatic visual impact, this was not unlike watching brake repair.

I'm hoping things improve tonight. President Manilow has turned over control of the United States to his unstable cleavage-flaunting wife, so that's a good sign. She seems like the kind of gal who just might do something wacky. And apparently the terrorists are going to take the canisters to a mall, which also holds promise for some action. Like the terrorists could try to set off the canisters in a department store, only to be thwarted when helpful sales clerks squirt them in the eyes with perfume samples. Or the terrorists could actually detonate the canisters and release the nerve gas, but nobody notices, because at the same time there's a major shoe sale. I'm just thinking out loud here.

Whatever happens, one thing is certain: When the trouble starts, a certain high-level federal agent will be on the scene -- a man who takes no prisoners; a man who shoots first and asks questions later. He's not perfect, but, darn it, that just makes us love him more.

UPDDATE: We have no update at this time.

UPDATE: What kind of moron watches Skating With Celebrities? Besides me, I mean.

UPDATE: They're advising viewer discretion.

UPDATE: Increased canister chatter!

UPDATE: They're probably going to kill Jack!

UPDATE: Edgar's on the schematic.

UPDATE: Mike thinks President Manilow is whipped.

UPDATE: Blah blah blah. WHEN IS THE SHOOTING??

UPDATE: Edgar is running the plates.

UPDATE: "Show time!"

UPDATE: Chloe knows how to install the chip. She is some woman.

UPDATE: I bet that voids the canister warranty.

UPDATE: How come nobody ever punches Audrey?

UPDATE: Why can't the president get a shirt collar that fits? He's the PRESIDENT!

UPDATE: President Manilow is definitely sleeping on the First Sofa tonight.

UPDATE: Twenty minutes and not a single shot fired. What is this? Sesame Street?

UPDATE: They obviously don't watch their own previews, or they'd have known the target was the Sunrise Hills Mall.

UPDATE: They never see anything, these people. They have visuals.

UPDATE: Toyota is having a Think Big Truck Event.

UPDATE: Chloe's in the server.

UPDATE: Oooh! Mall security! Those guys are good.

UPDATE: Gas the mall! Sounds crazy at first, but makes sense, now that you explain it!

UPDATE: This has to be the dumbest plot development yet.

UPDATE: It's a tragic choice, darn it, but what the hey.

UPDATE: I have this feeling Jack is going to....

UPDATE: OK, he's pretending to be knocked out, right? You can't knock out Jack Bauer just by hitting him really hard on the head!

UPDATE: The terrorists are talking to Canister Technical Support.

UPDATE: Yes! Neck breakage!

UPDATE: All teams are moving in.

UPDATE: Not the Food Court!!

UPDATE: Jack does not have a visual on the hostile.

UPDATE: It's either the nerve gas, or some bad mayonnaise at Chick Fil-A.

UPDATE: Jack is also of course a highly trained paramedic. Later, he will do everybody's income taxes.

UPDATE: He's on foot!

UPDATE: He's stealing a car! The bastard!

UPDATE: Boooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnngggggggggg

UPDATE: A perimeter! They should just put all of California in a perimeter and be done with it.

UPDATE: Hostile down!

UPDATE: They've got NOTHING! Which is pretty much what we got out of this episode. I don't know about everybody else, but my feeling is: enough already with canisters.

Comments

[adonis]

first?

[homeybeef]

no

[wolfie]

I'm so excited.
*gets giddy*
Way to choose the responsable thing to do tonight Dave. We won't tell Mrs. Blog. Promise.

[jim]

let's hope jack doesn't shoot someone, in the thigh, that is...

[Betsy]

Whether or not Mrs. Blog is told, she may become suspicious when she returns to find Sophie and her little friends playing endless games of "shoot'im in the thigh! shoot'im in the THIGH!!"

[slyeyes]

Give Sophie Cheezits, Lucky Charms and her Barbies and she'll never know you are busy.

[Mad "-ly in love with Weasel" Scientist]

Snork at Insom and everyone else since as a left coaster I will have to wait until tomorrow to see how things turn out.

[Peg Leg Pete, CPA]

I hope he shoots SOMEBODY. Is Jack getting soft on us?

[TCK]

I don't ususally hang out in the "24" threads, since I've never seen the show - but when Wolfie gets giddie and excited like that, I just gotta hang around ta see what happens

oh, and Dave - you can still watch Sophie during commercials - that way you can honestly say you watched her DURING the show

[slyeyes]

Is Jack getting soft on us?

If he is going soft, that would definitely make Audrey cry.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Ugh. I think Jack Bauer needs to investigate my home network. :( It's not stable...so I won't be able to make comments as easily tonight. :(

[slyeyes]

TCG: You probably need some vectors and schematics.

[homeybeef]

is it Jack Bauer time yet?

[Brad]

Dave, whatever you do, don't let your daughter go hunting with Dick Cheney or driving with Ted Kenndy while you dutifully keep us informed!

[wolfie]

TCK ~ welcome to the 24 party *smooch*. I never watched the thing either but geez the people here are too funny. I'm just tryin to blend in and look like I belong.

5 minutes till thigh shootin time.

[qetzal]

th.c guy - did you try establishing a perimeter?

Maybe if you move your computer into Flank 2 position.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

TCK-It's speed blogging at its finest.

[Sam G.]

Yeah, TCG. You need Edgar to upload some interfaces for you or something.

Anyway, the previews from last week were promising. I'm predicting some major action in this episode!

[Peg Leg Pete, CPA]

Don't get in ANY vehicle with a Kennedy...

[F Newby]

Can we please start calling the Hobbit Rudy? He's obviously not big enough to run CTU and he got blindsided by his junkie sisters boyfriend last week.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

slyeyes: Yeah...anyone got Edgar's private number? Everyone seems to have Jack's...but no one ever tries to reach Edgar in a pinch...

JACK BAUER POWER HOUR IS ALMOST HERE! C'MON JACKSACK™!

[Eleanor]

brad - *snork*

I wondered if I was the only person who thought of the Ted Kennedy "accident" re Cheney's "accident".
Major *snork*. (But not so much for Mary Jo. RIP)

[jim]

what happens if the kid comes down in the middle of an update?

[homeybeef]

dave, yo're watching skating with celebrities? I thik you've lost some cool points

[qetzal]

I think Samwise should hook up with Awwdrey...

[FleaBailey]

Scott Hamilton is not aging well.

[philintexas]

First! (in off-topic commentary) Why would anyone want to watch Skatin' Wit Da Starz when olympic skaters are on another channel?

Dick and Jack definitely need to do some shootin' tonight...

[Eleanor]

Left Coast Left Out. :(

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

IT'S TIME!!!! YEEEEHAW!!!

[slyeyes]

HEY! How did Scott get there? Isn't he in Turin(o) with Dick Buttons?

[qetzal]

Al-RIGHT! Graphic violence!

[wolfie]

WooHoo. Graphic violence. Eye or thigh?

[homeybeef]

no graphic violence warning. This one might be very violent

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

There's credibility?

[alco4343]

When my crack addict sister and her leather clad boyfriend hit me on the head and stole my money and my secret agent id card, the first thing they did was go on a 5 day bender. Is it just me or does sister samwise not have time to be a subplot?

[bizrey]

Yay! Pairs Figure Skating!! Uh, wait. Wrong blog >.<

[homeybeef]

maybe I missed it

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I think the new girl ruined her chances w/Jack.

[wolfie]

Yeah that's it. try and look professional hobbit boy.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Tractor on the chip. I want one of those!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I'm glad they do that time of day thing on the screen...it helps me keep track of things. What time did they say it was again? How does this show work?!?

[Sam G.]

That is such a strange wall Jack's standing in front of.

Sorry, I notice weird things.

[FleaBaileyrr]

"Increased chatter." I love it. Those chattering squirrels are at it again.

[philintexas]

now that's a terrorist on the ball...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

No one could mistake Jack w/anyone else. What is he thinking?

[bizrey]

Uh, they do know its Jack BAUER on the phone,right?

[wolfie]

Jacks gonna do it. I think maybe he isn't soft after all.

[qetzal]

Quick - set up a perimeter around the meeting site!

[slyeyes]

If Edgar is on ANYTHING, it's gonna get crushed.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

What? They might kill Jack? Alright Jack, do it? Jack says "thank you" for the ability to go and get killed? Who writes this stuff?

[jim]

oh, the tracker is in the chip...

[Varjak]

Jack's going to play it non-threatening?

[philintexas]

is it just me or is Edgar looking particularly bloated tonight?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

20ft radius qetzal. Check!

[silhouette]

The plan is DOOMED. THey have to believe Jack is scared.

[FleaBailey]

God bless Curtis, but he's no Tony Almeda.

[qetzal]

Where did they find the guy playing head terrorist? Bad Accents R Us?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I bet they'll call the hanging a suicide.

[philintexas]

Moot? Uh oh...a lawyer in the room

[daisymae]

Jack's going!

[Adamo]

I'm stuck at work and am missing 24. This is a more than suitable alternative. Thank you Dave Barry!

[slyeyes]

Uh. Oh. Cover up.

[daisymae]

The Hobbit looks remarkably composed for somebody who just got mugged.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Uh Oh - Prez has to make a decision. Let's see "What would first cleavage do?"

[FleaBailey]

What the hell is up with Mike Novick?

[qetzal]

President Weenie 'rises' to the occasion once again.

(Har.)

[wolfie]

Wonder if First Lady of ginormous tatas is blogging? Eeekkk!

[jim]

the president's wife is blogging...

probably watches the show...

[Blaaa]

Who uses apples anyways?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

They already announced the suicide? Where have I been? (Don't answer that.)

[Varjak]

Yeah, it's going to stay in the room. Suuuuuure.

[Sam G.]

Evelyn supports the weasel-murder theory.

[bizrey]

Don't tell Evelyn anything!! She can't keep her big yapper shut!!

[qetzal]

First Lady Cleavage let's it all out!

[wolfie]

Yes, I always trust stories from crazy drugged First Ladies, don't you?

[Momanon]

Do you think the 1st lady's aide is a mole too?

[slyeyes]

I think Mike did him in.

[Sam G.]

What is up with this music??

[Stormy Dragon]

They should tell the press that he died in a quail hunting accident.

[Jessica R.]

I can't watch and blog tonight; so I 'll just make stuff up.

[qetzal]

Time for a bad, 70's style detective show chase scene down a spiral parking ramp?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Edgar's running the plates. Jeez, doesn't he have a nuclear meltdown to stop somewhere? I mean, isn't that job a huge step down?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I'll show you mine if you show me yours! I knew that would come into play here.

[wolfie]

My Chloe is looking terribly fierce tonight.
'Do it gently. Then clear your throat'
*giggles*

[qetzal]

Wait - how is Jack hearing this? Does he have a cell phone implanted in his brain?!!

[Jessica R.]

"Showtime!"? Is there shooting?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Jack Bauer, TV remote repair-man!

[FleaBailey]

Stormy--

[TCK]

OK, I can't watch the show cuz there's no fox network here (it's on fox, yes?)

but this has gotta be way more fun than actually watching anyway

[jim]

aargh...blaughgh...blechh

[slyeyes]

He has one of those eensy teensy teeny tiny blue tooth things in his ear canal.

[qetzal]

Curtis! Maintain your perimeter!

[Sam G.]

Audrey's starting to get emotional! Get her out of the room.

[Jessica R.]

I think that the warranty was void when they hired the, now dead, welder to cut them open, Dave.

[Glow]

Ummm, can Jack do a triple throw axel, huh? With Audrey?

[FleaBailey]

I meant to say:

Stormy--snork!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

We're in commercial now TCK

[Jessica R.]

Audrey saved up all her weeping from last week, remember.

[qetzal]

Damn. Mrs. qetzal wants to watch now. Gotta rewind and start all over. Arggh.

[Blaaa]

"then they made her 'The ultimate weapon'"