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January 04, 2006


They know how to party.

(Thanks to Rick Chandler)


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wow. a plastic trumpet. good thing he wasn't the band teacher with access to tubas and such.

They charged him with possession! That was a major frisk-job, EEEWWWW!

I'm surprised a french teacher wouldn't have instantly surrendered.

OK, inquiring minds (such as they are) want to know, did the police follow standard procedure and make the perp drop face down? Did they leave him there in the snow for a while? Would that be considered cruel and unusual punishment or torture? (These days criminals, terrorists and other scum of the earth should afforded better treatment than honest law-abiding citizens -- not that I'm saying which of those categories *I* fit in -- in the view of SOME people.) And, if they did, was the guy in any way associated with the shrinkage studies discussed in another posting in this blog recently?

Jeezly, there ... madsoapboxer ... you really covered a lot of territory in a single post ...

You must've had a really good lesson plan, eh?

Cheezewiz, that is so wrong. And so funny.

Also: Why would Jesus hit God, especially with a plastic trumpet?

Cheesewiz, cela insulterait fortement, s'il n'étaient pas vrai!

Why would Jesus hit God, especially with a plastic trumpet?

Michael sent the good trumpet out for polishing since the apocolypse is so near.


Heck of a checklist:
1) Pot ........ Check
2) Plastic Trumpet... Check
3) Bong..... Check
4) Oxycontin .... Check
5) Clotes ...... Well, 4 outta 5 ain't bad.

And "polishing your trumpet" would be a good euphemism for something, I'm sure.

Tamara: That is good question. Unfortunately we on the blog tend to avoid deep theological issues such as this one. However, as a former member of the Fraternal Order of Anti-Christs and Messiahs (a loose-knit group of drug and alcohol fanciers with grandiose delusions) I can say "what else am I gonna hit 'em with, I'm naked here, for Chrissake!"

Tonight, on a very SPECIAL "Father Knows Best" --

Dad is concerned about how to discipline his son when the lad gets into trouble with drugs and the law.

"Son, you remember what happened when you threw that tantrum in the temple marketplace? I thought you had learned your lesson..."

Perfect defense: It's the only way I can cope with the little bastards!

In all fairness, on some very basic, albeit hazy, level, this guy at least recognized the authority of the police ("I may be Jesus, but this dude in the uniform outranks me.")


Yeah Jesus.... er, Curtis and I had the lesson plan all worked out pretty well with the joint(s) providing inspiration, but when he popped the pill(s) things deteriorated a bit and he unfortunately mistook the cop for me.

(Is that thunder I hear? TZZZZAAAAP! Whoa! Groovy lightning! TZZZZAAAAP! #$^#*&%*^@#$ NO CARRIER)

"He was charged with aggravated assault involving a police officer, resisting arrest, open lewdness, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and unlawful possession of oxycodone, a prescription drug."

Cop 1: "So, whadda we got here?"

Cop 2: "Naked guy, thinks he's Jesus."

Cop 3: "Another one??"

Cop 1: "Sweet, let's see how many charges we can make up! Nobody will question us. He's naked in the snow for God's sake."

Cop 2: "Actually, it's Jesus, as I mentioned earlier."

Cop 3: "Whatever. We've got assault, resisting, 2 drugs, paraphernalia and lewdness so far."

Cop 1: "Are there any children around?"

Cop 2: "No. But I think some live in this county."

Cop 3: "Bingo! We can call that statutory. Any other felonies we can tag on there?"

Cop 4: "I pooped in my squad car..."

Cop 2: "Ok, who let Jim in here? *hands Jim a tazer* Jim, go get the doggie. Get the doggie!!"

Cop 4: "Weeeeeeee!!" *zaaaap*

French Teacher: "Je ne suis pas habituellement ce petit, je jure ! Il fait froid et je n'ai aucun pantalones."

*Jim tazes the Frenchie. Everyone laughs*

now, this guy was obviously impaired, so why not just let him sleep it off... wasnt it new year's eve??

Wow, recreational drugs must have improved since my time. All we had would let us SEE Jesus.

Cop 2: "Actually, it's Jesus, as I mentioned earlier."


Gotta hate it when the deities aren't getting along. Suprised they have plastic strumpets in heaven though. I really thought mail order blow up dolls were the sort of thing one goes to h*ll for. Oh, trumpets. Never mind.

This guy might be better off if he moved to Maryland

Just wondering, Dave. Are your eyes still dilated?

Suprised they have plastic strumpets in heaven though.

*giggles* they can't have live strumpets in heaven. According to the Great Rulebook of the Omnipotent Invisible Friend, strumpets never get to go to heaven. So they are left with cheap (made in China) plastic imitations.

Isn't oxycotin an antidepressant? Will some one with better medical knowledge please answer this.
The problems with mental disease and drugs is that sometimes the drugs make things worse. And then it becomes difficult to tell what the problem really is. Besides the fact that he is ape freaking crazy.

Oh yeah weird thing. Many crazy people seem to be the doppleganger to famous people. I have met some people that I was honestly expecting to any minute admit they where just pulling my leg. Robin Williams the homeless guy comes to mind.

Speaking as someone who had the all the advantages of attending an aggressively Christian high school in the 50's, I'm pretty sure that strumpets DO get to heaven, if they sincerely repent, and meet other requirements as to belief.
You can say what you want, but some fundamentalists are mellower than others.

Oxycontin is NOT an antidepressant. It's a narcotic, like heroin or Demerol or codeine.

Are oxycontin and oxycodone the same drug?

I don't know if they're the same drug, but the people who use it as a recreational drug are OXYMORONS!

LOL, Ivory Bill!

this is why people that think they are Jesus should never, never smoke dope out of a plastic trumpet

Maybe he was conducting a French lesson - "I am = je suis" sounds a lot like "I am Jesus." kinda...if you're toasted...and ginchy.

Say what you want about the members of the education professsion....they probably know how to spell "profession."
Not to nitpick, but I'd want you to tell me if I did this, too. Just as a real friend would point out food stuck in my teeth, or an undone zipper, or my teeth stuck in a zipper...

Annie, haven't you heard the expression "more is better"? If two s's are good, three is better, I always say. Works for other lettters tooo....

Nice to know that I can get away with so much when I become a teacher.

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