FOR THE WINTER VACATION PLANNER

Where not to go.

(Thanks to [whoops] Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

[Mr. Completely]

Good travel tip. Thanks, Judi (and Eric).

[Lairbo]

First Chinese New Year Traveler: "So, are you going First Class or Coach?"

Second Chinese New Year Traveler: "Depends."

(rim shot)

[MOTW]

New Travel Agency Slogans for Shanghai:
Boldly going.
Wear adult diapers and keep going and going and going.
Trains and Diapers: two great containers that contain great together.

Thank you. Don't forget to take the on-line survey in the article!

[P.P.]

We have the same solution on the New York subway system......except without the Depends part.

[Down in Texas]

You have got to be kidding. In Texas, there is a law about adult diapers.

[TCK]

husband to wife: Hey for our vacation this year, why don't we put on some diapers and cram ourselves into the overhead rack of an overcrowded chinese train?

wife to husband: How about you do that, and I'll go to Vegas with the hot guy that just moved in next door?

*note to self - cross Shanghai off the list of potential vacation destinations*

[Kafaleni]

only round their New Year, TCK!

Does anyone else shudder at the thought of cramming yourself onto a train that smells like a daycare centre without the talcum powder?

That's what I thought.

[southerngirl]

Kaf - definitely YES.

[Blue Meanie]

Times Square never looked so good.

[Dave R]

I'm not sure if the conversion is complete, but a lot of the locomotives were coal and steam.

Once you are on the train, you can purchase an upgrade. You can also pay the person who has taken over the Necessary to step out for a moment.

My last Chinese train trip involved having to purchase a ticket to Beijing and slip out of the train without being noticed in my destination city. I heard from a fellow traveler that my first class seat was occupied within minutes of my unauthorized departure. Communism with Chinese Characteristics was a lot like getting things done in large cities with hidden bills in one's palm.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Well...

Well...

On the "up"-side...

*thinking There's got to be an "up"-side...*

I guess if there's a black-out and the train is stalled, there won't be much ugly-bumpin' goin' on. Right?

[Rockchild]

I voted "NO" on the adult diaper poll, because I'm not a big baby! I'll just pee out the window, like my big brother says, just hope he doesn't push me out!

[insomniac]

("Vacation" The Go-go's)

Can't seem to find a space to poo
Guess there's just thing I can do!
Now we're on the road
Droppin' a real load
Is a thing that would take some planning!

Clearing some space might take some guns
Thank God that I don't have 'the runs'!
I see that your thong
Won't last too long
Since we're on this train for hours 'depend'ing.

A trip in Pampers
Thought I'd explode
Puts lots of dampers
On taking pictures of the train we rode!

Vacation
More than we ever wanted
Vacation
Stains that will never go away
Vacation
Even spent without a chamber pot.

[Lmd33]

The Chinese must live really, really boring and desparate lives the rest of the year to be willing to do something like this.

One good thing out of all of this - we all now know which stocks to buy @ November 15 and sell @ January 30.

[slyeyes]

I'd stay home.

[Dave R]

New Year is a really, really big deal out culturally.

A service in Beijing or Shanghai was linking remaining poor people to be the nannies and servants of the new rich while the regular servants went home for the holiday.

Families get together, iron out the details for the new arranged marriages with other families with their relations back in town, and kick back. LIttle red envelopes with pretend money is burned to appease the spirits of family members that have died. Firecrackers. It's a lot of fun.

My best Chinese New Year gift was that the Anti Bourgeois Liberal Campaign was relaxed in favor of the Anti Rat Campaign. Since both events are too old to be on the Internet, both historical elements will probably fade off into an aging former idealist's mind.

[Brainy Jello]

to put themselves, including in overhead racks, between cars and in toilets.

I actually first read that as "to put [used diapers]...in overhead racks, between cars and in toilets."

"Mommy, I think I'm car sick."
"Don't be silly. This is a train! It's probably just cholera."

[slyeyes]

Dave R, have you heard of this?

Ancient Chinese Law of Abundance. (must be done be fore the first new moon of the new Chinese year.

1. Get a blank personal check.
2. Make the check payable to you! Use your full legal name.
3. Date the check with today’s date.
4. On the "memo" line write: "Paid in Full"
5. Sign the check: "Law of Abundance".
6. Leave the amount box and line blank.
7. Keep this check with you at all times in 2006. (Stash it away in purse or wallet)
8. Do this before 8:15am Sunday January 29, 2006. (The first new moon of 2006)

[slyeyes]

p.s. How ancient can it be if you use a check?

[Dave R]

Slyeyes --
It's not that much different from burning fake money to appease dead relatives.

Don't forget that checks are only good for six months....

[KCSteve]

Shouldn't the title for this item have been "Where to not go"?

[Kat]

*rethinking travel plans*
I was thinking about going to New York City for Chinese New Year - do you think the diapers are necessary for the travel between Baltimore & NYC on the bus? I know grayhound doesn't have the nicest restrooms....but....

[Shredder]

To make this a little more disgusting, I read that some riders jump off the train because the smell gets so bad.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Are lemmings Chinese?

[Brainy Jello]

FINE! I'll just give myself a snork! I thought I was funny, anyway.

*sno..forget it*

[Betsy]

*SNORK*
(the preceding was a spontaneous, sincere, and unsolicited *snork* for Brainy Jello. I thought it was pretty darned funny!)

[Eleanor]

*add another SNORK to Betsy's for Brainy*

It was hysterically funny!!! LOL! :)

[Annie Where-but-here]

*SNORK* Oh, my...I didn't get it the first time...very funny, Brainy! ROFL!
(the preceding commentary is in no way meant to resemble, mock, or deride any other commentary on this blog or any other blog.)

[Dr. Doug]

Oh, very special; ingenious management skills: I have a train with 150 sets, now let's see, how many tickets should I sell? Oh heck, as many as I can get away with! Only in a society without legal recourse is there such foolishness.
God bless the USA and I am soooo glad I live here.

[Eleanor]

Brainy - Happy now? Are 3 (three) *snorks* enough?? :)

[U.O]

... um ... not exactly ... (checks are good only for six months ...) ...

A check is a legal document.

While the paying bank may decline to honor a check with a "stale" date, the check remains a document of promise to pay a debt.

Granted, certain legal steps may be required to collect that payment -- and subsequent expenses created by collection costs -- the legality and liability of the promise to pay still remains valid ...

At least, that's whut My Bride (Remember Her?) tells me ...

Tho sometimes I wonder if she's referring to my mind writing checks that my body can't cash ...

[Brainy Jello]

*bows*
Thank you! Thank you all!

*looks around, sees no one*

"Oh. We've moved on, have we? Right."

[Annie Where-but-here]

*snorklet at Brainy*

[Blue Meanie]

Everybody's snorkin' at me.
I hear every word they're sayin',
The applause echoes in my mind.

People bloggin' postin'
I can't see the faces,
I sense the rollin' of their eyes.

I'm goin' where the train keeps rollin'
Thru the Mandarin plain,
Goin' where the toilet overflows.

Bankin' off the northeast wind,
Sailin' on a summer breeze,
Holdin' up my pants as I hold my nose.

Everybody's snorkin' at me.
I hear every word they're sayin',
The applause echoes in my mind.

And I won't let you see my behind. Repeat and fade

[Brainy Jello]

*applause for BM*

*stops mid-clap and thinks about rephrasing that"

[Annie Where-but-here]

Brainy - feel free to applaud. My 2 sons always doo(-doo)!

[Brainy Jello]

Annie - Please tell me they're not in highschool yet.