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I'm going to Kansas City. Kansas City, here I come! As the song goes:
They got some crazy little women there
But they can control that
With medication
UPDATE: Here's a nice report from a relatively sane KC blogger-woman named Katy.
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I'll be there, Dave! With bells on. That's how you'll know it's me. And I will probably say something. I'm like that.
Posted by: mb | January 25, 2006 at 08:47 AM
Everything's up to date in Kansas City ...
They've gone about as fur as they can go ...
Now that Dave™ will be there, their lives are complete ...
Posted by: U.O | January 25, 2006 at 08:59 AM
Ahhh, the humanity!
Just to retaliate I let loose with:
Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it's off to work we go!
Posted by: Earwig | January 25, 2006 at 09:01 AM
Woo! I have taken all of my "vitamins" and have Walter's gifts ready!!
Posted by: Jaybird | January 25, 2006 at 09:04 AM
If only the Great Zucchini had had Dave's Money Secrets in time to avoid his financial troubles.
Also, as a companion to a comment from yesterday:
"Strumpeting" anagrams to "Trump Stinge"
Posted by: Blue Meanie | January 25, 2006 at 09:16 AM
Dave, I'm working on my way-back machine, and plan to pop in on your book signing back there in 2006.
I figure it'll be my last chance to see you before you....um, well...nevermind. It's best not to mess with a man's destiny.
Posted by: Mr. Peabody | January 25, 2006 at 09:37 AM
I once spent a month in KC one day. BLEAH! ya shoulda come to sunny southern arizona dave. I can personally guarantee a room full of cacti politely lined up to get their books signed. (hey, when you live 30 miles south of nowhere, you make your own entertainment.)
Posted by: azred | January 25, 2006 at 10:03 AM
Hey, Mr. Peabody, any good stock tips from the not-too-distant future you'd like to share with us? (Just following along with a DB Money Secrets stragety.) And, since you mentioned it.....
PS - Unexpected bonus link! from same site.
Posted by: Blue Meanie | January 25, 2006 at 10:33 AM
I am so excited - I actually get to see Dave here instead of traveling.
mb - is it just us?
Posted by: miel | January 25, 2006 at 10:34 AM
Dave has got two dates in Kansas City
The fans who want his signature will go
They'll listen to his stories and the laughter will begin
His poufy hair and bloglit thong will cause them all to grin
He'll sell his book, not like a schnook, his pocketbook will win
Then he's got a few more cities left to go
He's got a few more cities left to go
Posted by: MOTW | January 25, 2006 at 10:55 AM
"But they can control that
With medication"
Unless they're bloglits....
Posted by: qetzal | January 25, 2006 at 11:00 AM
I know yer a SoCal dude now , U.O, but were you an Okie once't?
Posted by: Blue Meanie | January 25, 2006 at 11:12 AM
With any luck, there will be a blizzard for Dave. The AAA people recommend touring Kansas that way ... at night during a blizzard. You catch a glimpse of Kansas during the day in January, it will suck the soul right out of you.
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | January 25, 2006 at 11:19 AM
Dave, while in KC be sure to visit Fiorella's Jack Stack BBQ. Get the Crown Prime Beef Short Ribs, and make sure you get the beans. This is some of the best BBQ in the world, at least as far as upscale eateries are concerned. Their beans are excellent, and make a great breakfast if you keep the leftovers.
If you're there later in the week, get to BB's Lawnside BBQ. Informal, great music, great food, and informal.
Man, I love going to KC for the food.
Posted by: John | January 25, 2006 at 11:33 AM
So his orbit of St Louis continues. Hopefully the region will continue to supply him with bizarre events.
The sad part is that, despite all this community effort to provide lunacy for him to blog, Dave is snubbing the entire city on his own book tour, at least according to the link above.
Of course if I still lived in DC it'd be no better, he actually stood them up.
Maybe it's my fault...if I had taken that contract in Kansas City, he'd probably be on his way to Hawaii now instead.
--
Words of the Sentient:
...if the Perennially Indignant think pollution is the fault only of Reaganites wallowing in capitalist greed, then they should go take a deep breath in Smolensk or a long drink from the river Volga. -- P.J.O'Rourke
Posted by: Kaz | January 25, 2006 at 01:02 PM
azred - I don't want to hurt your feelings, but is there anything more that you need to know about a state when their state "flower" (HAH, what a joke!) is this incredibly unattractive, non-flowering thingy? Enough said.
Signed,
SoCal chick! :-)
Posted by: Eleanor | January 25, 2006 at 01:05 PM
Indeed, cacti are simply flowering plants which are highly adapted to life on the ocean floor.
Or something like that.
They even bear fruit. The Prickley Pear's fruit is quite yummy.
--
Words of the Sentient:
There are just two rules of governance in a free society: Mind your own business. Keep your hands to yourself.
--P.J.O'Roarke
Posted by: Kaz | January 25, 2006 at 02:09 PM
To think...Kaz and I COULD have taken a train to Kansas City, got FED, and taken gifts of ingratiating sentients to the Master...(sigh) Or maybe, I would have just worn a short skirt, and a beanie.
We would have had four hours to things of all kinds of wonderful thinks to say on the ride over, which we would NOT have said because we would have been lost for words, in which Dave MIGHT have saved us...but not before we would have gotten our picture taken for the blogsters.
Or in fantasy have captured Dave, taken him to twelve Street and Vine (close to the Volga) and done whatever we wanted to him...If you have ever been there..then you know what I'm talking about.
P.J. would just have to forgive us.
Posted by: Novanglus | January 25, 2006 at 02:48 PM
mmmm, strumpets.
Posted by: sct72 | January 25, 2006 at 04:28 PM
Crap! He was in Milwaukee yesterday! Crap!
Posted by: sct72 | January 25, 2006 at 04:30 PM
I am the relatively sane blogger Katy, of whom Dave speaks in his "Update." If you can catch Dave on this book tour, DO! I haven't stopped grinning yet!
Posted by: Katy Raymond | January 25, 2006 at 06:09 PM
I want to second John's motion for Dave to try Fiorella's Jack Stack BBQ! Maybe after he entertains the masses tonight, it won't be too late. It is THE best BBQ in the universe.
Posted by: Katy Raymond | January 25, 2006 at 07:05 PM
**snif. sob.** el hurt my feelings.... I'm gonna go hug a cactus. OW. OW. OW. OW......
thanks guin. when I got my first view of my "new home" back in '88, I absolutely hated it. but it grows on you..... but not like mold, cause there's no humidity here!
Posted by: azred | January 25, 2006 at 09:25 PM
honest, I posted wayyyyy later than guin.
Posted by: azred (not reading guin's mind) | January 25, 2006 at 09:27 PM
Psst, El...they aren't non-flowery
Posted by: Guin | January 25, 2006 at 09:37 PM
Pssst, Guin - I knew that. I was just trying to find the ugliest picture I could because I once had a very truamatic experience in Arizona. No, I can't talk about it - sorry..
azred - here's my solution to avoid having your feelings hurt again: MOVE!!!
Katy Raymond: Good article and it was nice to see Dave NOT wearing a blue shirt - for once!
Posted by: Eleanor | January 25, 2006 at 10:06 PM
sorry
Posted by: Eleanor | January 25, 2006 at 10:06 PM
Kaz, Novanglus, we could have carpooled from St. Louis; and maybe could have talked Pee Jay into driving.
ROAD TRIP!!!
I would have brought Ted Drewes and toasted ravioli for everyone.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 25, 2006 at 10:25 PM
Katy, good article. Thanks. Dave, nice shirt.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 25, 2006 at 10:30 PM
Thanks, Eleanor and Slyeyes! Dave did indeed have on a very nice non-blue shirt. And while he talked about Ann Curry of The Today Show using a bit of her own spit to put his hair in place before he went on the air with Katie Couric, I must say I thought his hair looked completely spit-free in Kansas City.
Posted by: Katy Raymond | January 25, 2006 at 11:00 PM
ok el, I moved from the parlor to the kitchen. you were right - I feel much better now. mmmmm.... snickers.....
Posted by: azred | January 25, 2006 at 11:06 PM
Golly, bein' a DB bloglit is sure fun, innit?
Posted by: U.O | January 25, 2006 at 11:18 PM
It is fun! I took Dave a Snickers. Hope he posts the crapcam pic tomorrow! And no blue shirt!
Posted by: Jaybird | January 25, 2006 at 11:21 PM
I don't have a comment. I just want to get in on the BOLD type thing before someone who knows how turns it off!
Posted by: AlanBoss | January 26, 2006 at 12:38 AM
*looks around*
What bold?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 26, 2006 at 08:16 AM
Yeah, Sue ... whut BOLD?
Posted by: U.O | January 26, 2006 at 08:29 AM
AlanB, Darlin', yer LTTG. blush
Well said, Katy. You have a beautiful blog.
Posted by: MOTW | January 26, 2006 at 09:22 AM
"Dave Barry, retired now from the Miami Herald, is legendary for his wit and wisdom. Dave won the 1988 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary, 'For his consistently effective use of humor as a device for presenting fresh insights into serious concerns.' Dave can bring helpful insight and humor to the most puzzling current events. Dave, who is truly and family-man and really a nice guy, has the gift to bring his intellectual thought-provoking gut-busting humor to any and all topics. Now, Dave shares with us his Money Secrets and enlightens us with his insights into the financial world of how money is made, invested, saved, spent and wasted. www.RainyDayBooks.com has Author Autographed copies of Dave Barry's Money Secrets from our two Author Events with Dave on January 25th. This book makes a great gift and Dave will receive royalties! I learned a lot from Dave's Money Secrets, and now, like Dave, I will be laughing all the way to the bank." ~ Roger Doeren
Posted by: Roger Doeren | January 26, 2006 at 09:55 AM
MOTW--Aw, thanks! My hubby is my web designer. Nice to have him around! Thanks for hanging out at fallible for a while!
Posted by: Katy Raymond | January 26, 2006 at 05:52 PM