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January 29, 2006


Today I'm on my way to Seattle, which I understand is where they keep the Internet. I look forward to seeing it.


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Yes, I confirmed that first for you last week during my stay near Redmond. It's a fun place to stay. I think. They have a needle that sews space there as well...

And bring a tape recorder, you'll want to record the sound that the puget thingy makes.



Has it stopped raining there yet?

So THAT'S what that sound I heard was...I thought it was the guy across the hall from me...

I hope you won't be sleepless. :-)

CoastRaven wrote:

Has it stopped raining there yet?

Of course not. It isn't June yet. Now, if I can find my rowboat, I'll head off to see the strumpeter.

Ahh - my mistake. Our TV Weather guys are real chipper around here - I can only imagine the ones out there being manic depressives about their job.

Anchor - Lets go to to our meteorologist Bill Lameass with the exclusive InstaWeather forcast

Bill - Exclusive my ass... every freakin station in town is telling you its going to rain. Back to you!

Anchor - uhh Bill, dont you have a map or something for us?

Bill - Look out the window ya freak it's STILL raining!!! Whats the use in telling people what nice weather there is somewhere ELSE?? Back to you (jerk)

Anchor - uh yeah well...

(Off camera) BANG

Anchor - We have breaking news from the set of Action News this evening.....

Maybe I should quit reading the blog for a while. Dave is my hero, and I really want to write a good book, but this book tour thing... It's like having a baby - it's all "wonderful!" and "you'll love it!", but they fail to mention the 12 hours of labor, the night feedings every 2 hours, or the loaded diapers that sear your eyelashes off.

They shouldda seen it coming from a conversation earlier in the day during the 6 O'clock report...

Anchor - ... Thank you Biff Jockstrap live on locastion from the site of the Seahawks first Superbowl in Detroit Michigan. Now lets check that forecast once more with Bill Lameass.

Bill - Yeah um why is it that when Biff goes "on location" he goes to Detroit? When you go "on location", you cover the Presidents State of the Union in our lovely nations Capital? When they send my hump "on location" they give me an umbrella and a microphone and make me stand in a puddle in the parking lot?!? Where did I make the wrong Journalistic choice?!

And I shall greet you tomorrow at Third Place Books as "the lurker that nobody knows..."

geezer earwig alert- anyone else remember the Bobby Sherman song "Seattle" which was tied in somehow with his show "Here Come the Brides" (which title could be interpreted in a different way)

here are the lyrics from this site


The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle
Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild
Full of hopes and full of fears
Full of laughter. Full of tears.
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle, In Seattle

The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle
Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild
Full of hopes and full of fears
Full of laughter. Full of tears.
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle, In Seattle

When you find your own true love you will know it.
By her smile and by the look in her eye.
Scent of pine trees in the air,never knew a day so fair
It makes you feel so good that you could cry.

The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle
Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild
Full of hopes and full of fears
Full of laughter. Full of tears.
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle, In Seattle

There's mildew upon the folks in Seattle
Bill Gates rules cyberspace from Seattle
Wring your clothes like a sponge
While you listen to grunge
Home of Mariners and Seahawks
There's a Starbuck ev'ry block
In Seattle.

Insomniac will you marry me?

Insom: There's a Starbuck ev'ry block

According to my neighbor, there isn't a Starbuck every block in Denmark. But, you know, that's Denmark.

Dave - in Seattle, do you actually see hawks? I heard something about them being near a huge bowling alley this year.



Sorry for the screaming but I have been up since 5 this morning staning in from of Qwest Field shouting myself horse for the Seahawks. Tomorrow I get to do the same for Dave.

J who oughta ...

there's not a Starbuck's™ every block in Nodak, either ...

but the entrepeneurs are workin' on that problem ...

Dave looks really tired to me. I hope Seattle has some place where he can get some coffee....


You are welcome to drop by Bend Oregon if you are in the neighborhood. We can go to Redmond (Oregon) and you could see the one eyed kitten if we got bored (as if). Of course, we have like 4 Starbucks here too.

there are more Starbucks in Portland.

As well as Seattle's Best.

And Portland's own Coffee People (best coffee evah).

It's times like this when I wish I had a car, and no mountain pass between myself and Seattle. So I must resort to begging... Dave! Come to Ellensburg, home of the CWU Wildcats. We've got lots of college students with pockets full of laundry money to spend on your book. Not to mention the lack of rain. And if you need some coffee, I think we're up to 4 Starbucks now. Sadly, they're not all on the same corner.

Any chance that while you're up in Seattle, you'll ignore the itinerary and come on up to Vancouver? Whereas it is, technically, in a foreign country, it's just like Seattle except friendlier, cleaner, and prettier. Just as many Starbucks, even.

And you can smoke weed in front of a cop and the worst that'll happen is that you might get a ticket. More likely, the cop will say, "Gimme a toke" and you give him a toke and it's all good.

Collegiate- Ellensburg makes up for it with wind. Lots and lots of wind.
Yakima has it far worse. You see clouds but have no idea what the clouds will do. Will it be rain? Fog? Snow? Or nothing but clouds. Yakima the palmsprings of Washington.
Which reminds me. What is the general opinion of Palms Springs. The opinion of Yakima is that it has way to many drugs.

Phoenix weather is just as annoying during the summer. "Hey look a cloud! Lets get a close up of the cloud. Obviosly must be lost from the cloud herd heading toward Seattle. Poor little stray cloud." And then the humidity goes up to 100% and we all stay in side.

Seattle weathermen say 'partially sunny' or 'some sun' when every one else would say 'mostly cloudy'.

The rain stopped a while ago. Only 27 days of it. The rest of the time the rain comes in small parts. Nice warm gentle rain. That makes everything green. That sound of Puget. Its the color green. Bill Gates has a lot of it.

We also seem to have the monopoly on cell phones and people dressed in black who know everything.

Sorry, home town pride. Go Seahawks?

I hope you won't be sleepless. :-)

Posted by: Bumble | 12:11 PM on January 29, 2006

LOL, Bumble - great line!!! :)

We're a bit worried about you. Are your getting enough sleep? Strumpeting can be pretty strenuous. Why don't you call it a day and go home. The book will sell fine.

Although we haven't seen you up here in Boston yet.
How 'bout this...come to Boston, THEN you can go home.

Gee, thanks a lot for that earwig, insomniac. I just love it when someone reminds me of a fogotten song that I hated. (I'm a geezer at 43y? Ugh!)

Dave ~ As part of my (and Chianca's) neverending effort to get you to come to Boston, I can promise you that it NEVER EVER rains here, there is a magic conveyor of happiness from the airport to Chianca's basem, um, I mean, bookstore of your choice, which also happens to be the East Coast Distribution Center (yes, the E.C.D.C) for SNICKERS! Steven King can attest to the glorious treatment he received while here several years ago. I believe he even wrote a book about it - Misery? was it?....

We're truly your NUMBER ONE FANS, Dave!!!!!!

R.T. - You in on the "Bring Dave to Boston in 2006" campaign????

I'd guess that R.T. is Chairman and CEO of that effort ... with a lot of able assistnats providing assistance ... aides aiding ... et cetera, et cetera, et cetera ...

Anyone in the New England area who would like to sign up for the campaign, just email me. If you give me your address, I'll send along your commemorative T-shirt.

El~ I do my best. ;-)

*munches a ghirardelli square*

Here, El! Have one!

Thx Bumble! They're my very favorite and now that you mention it, I think I have 1 left from the pack in my kitchen drawer!!!

*zips out to look*

Jeezley, y'all hadda bring up chocolate, din'tcha ... now I gotta go open another package of Snickers™ ...

Punkin' and U.,
I'm with you on the "BDB 06" Campaign.
Regretfully,I must decline the position of CEO
and Chairman. (think I'm underqualified...)

Keepin' the dream alive.
Mr. Barry Comes to Boston.

That's "BDB2B '06" (try and say that really fast...BDB2BBDB2B...)

OR "2B or not 2B" )to Boston or not to Boston....

I say "2B!"

Oh, and I'm serious about the T-shirts!
(One size fits hardly anybody)

*was just typing and computer crashed ... was very afraid ... okay, feeling better now*

As I was saying, Punkin -- I'd make the drive up from Hartford, and you don't even need to send me a t-shirt.

*whew. now must go have a martini to recover from computer trauma.*

So many comments...and most of the good bad jokes about Seattle are gone. *sniff* For those who have been living under a rock, in case you haven't noticed, there are most certainly Starbucks on every corner everywhere. As a matter of fact, there are three in the mall I work in alone, a drive-thru Starbucks in the parking lot, and I work in Borders which has a Seattle's Best cafe (which is owned by none other than the Starbucks people). Oh, and in case you have caffeine withdrawals on your way home, there's a Starbucks in the shopping center kitty corner to the mall. (I only wish I were making this up!)

Cheryl - Good idea! You and your troops can defend the southern line should Dave manage to escape, I mean, venture off course!

40 minutes until the 24 rerun (2 episodes in a row- 2 hours) airs on WGN

Hi Dave,

I tried STRUMPETING. It made my head hurt! You have to smile a lot and say nice things to people you don't know. People want you to look at pictures of their cat. You can't say things like.. "Is it healthy for a cat to be THAT fat?"

Washington State IS where they keep the Internet. I also heard Bill Gates has a monkey locked away somewhere. It looks like "Big Foot." (The monkey, not Bill Gates.) Speaking of which.. If you travel south-east, you will find Yakima, Washington. This is the UFO and Big Foot capitol of America. On any given day you can see 6 or 7 big foots walking around. They like Starbucks (Trade Mark) too.

If my comment sounds strange, it is from reading your books, Dave. I got three jobs because I talk like this. They pay me money, but they don't want me hanging around after work.

Thanks Dave!

Nicole: Do you work at Alderwood Mall in Lynnwood? 'Cause I've been to the Borders there which has a Seattle's Best Coffee inside. I know there's a Starbucks inside and a Starbucks outside near the Loews theater, but where's the third? And if Starbucks owns Seattle's Best Coffee, why don't the just turn them all into Starbucks?

I have so many jokes for that one.
-BoeingMicroStar sounded to pretentious
-Throw a rock see if you hit a coffee shop. If you didn't check again.
-The UFOs and Sasquatch make sense for Yakima
-Well at least we don't have some evil over lord controlling everything.
-Anyone found Nintendo? I looked?
-Should I tell my parents to open their doors for the Bigfoot.
-What is the plural of Bigfoot?

Alfred, Palm Springs is populated mostly by gay people (NTTAWWT) and senior citizens (NTTAWWT either.) I guess that this makes Palm Springs the Miami of California. Except that it is nowhere near an ocean. Palm Springs also has a monoploy on people wearing polyester warm up suits. Which is weird since the average temperature in PS is 120F. Maybe too many drugs are involved, I don't know.

Good luck finding the Internets. I hear they put them on computers recently, so they may be harder to locate.

Capatin Kirsomethingwaytoolong, I work at the Oakridge Mall Borders in San Jose. (Otherwise known to local Borders insiders as "San Jose #2" because well, they like Santana Row better than us. And is it coincidence that #2 is well, a euphemism for uh, well, you get my drift - I would say probably not.)

Here's a song for you guys

For the popular crowd:
(Parody of Seattle by Perry Como)
For the purist:
(Parody of Seattle by Bobby Sherman)

The bluest skies you’ve ever seen in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle
Like a beautiful child growin’ up free and wild

The most caffeine you’ve ever seen in Seattle
And they grind the meanest beans in Seattle
It’s a beautiful trip from the very first sip
We’re the java pioneers
Served by chicks with no brassieres
Till the foam comes out our ears
In Seattle
In Seattle
When it’s time to go to work
You’ll be draggin’
And you need a little buzz to get you through
Don’t be shakin’ till you find
A hot barista sweet and kind
That triple mocha’s waitin’ there for you

The most caffeine you’ve ever seen in Seattle
And our teeth are turnin’ brown in Seattle
Have a grande-size cup
It’ll jack you right up
Serve it iced or serve it hot
Single short or triple shot
Six bucks a cup is not a lot in Seattle
In Seattle


Sam I have the mp3 of that caffeine version of Seattle but have no idea who sings it. Could you help me?

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