24
For the third consecutive Monday night I'm going to be strumpeting for my book and will miss 24. So once again I'm counting on you folks to provide commentary and analysis. As I understand it, here's where the plot stands:
1. The terrorists have these canisters of nerve gas, which apparently they're going to use on... Moscow! Why they came all the way to California to get nerve gas to use on Moscow is beyond me. Maybe you can't get good nerve gas in the Mosow area. Maybe the terrorists just wanted to be on 24. Whatever the reason, this canister thing can't really be the REAL plot, because the worst that could happen is that everybody in Moscow would die a horrible death, and that is frankly not enough of a menace to require Jack Bauer's attention.
2. Speaking of Jack, he had a slow episode last week, with virtually no physical activity other than killing an assassin by stabbing him in the neck with medical scissors. Jack also discovered that President Manilow's weasel assistant -- the one who knocked out the first lady and snatched the classified document from her cleavage -- is a mole.
3. Meanwhile the first lady is on the lam in her pajamas. Pajama-lama-ding-dong! (Pay no attention. I am sleep-deprived.)
4. And a bunch of other stuff.
As always, we will fulfill our obligation to make fun of Chloe and occasionally comment on the plot.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 05:04 PM
Re: #1--woo!
Posted by: Jaybird | January 30, 2006 at 05:05 PM
re: my post above.
dang it!
Posted by: jaybird | January 30, 2006 at 05:06 PM
Well, it might be better that the First Lady is on the lam in her jammies because her regular clothes show alot of the First Lady's national assests, if you know what I mean.
Posted by: ncc1701 | January 30, 2006 at 05:16 PM
Chloe's boyfriend will continue to make Edgar jealous. But Chloe won't care. So he'll turn to comfort food. And explode!
That's it! Terrorists are using EDGAR as a WMD!!
Posted by: laura | January 30, 2006 at 05:20 PM
Go fight terrorists. win.
Out of curiosity. Has Jack eaten yet? Will he eat.
Is there any sort of place to order food fast for the on the go Secret mission guy. If so, is it owned by Starbucks.
Posted by: Alfred | January 30, 2006 at 05:20 PM
Dave, if Jack Bauer were there, he'd get you set up with a satellite feed of a FOX affiliate on the East Coast so you could watch 24 at 6pm. Unfortunately, Kiefer is too busy celebrating his SAG award by trying to put it on the top of a Christmas tree.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 30, 2006 at 05:23 PM
You Say Tomato
I Say Tomato
You say Pajama-lama-ding-dong
I say Pajama-llama ding-dong
I swear, anything triggers an earwig in me anymore!
Posted by: Earwig | January 30, 2006 at 05:26 PM
Let the good times roll. 24: Singlehandedly dragging Mondays out of the crapitude in which they so often wallow.
Posted by: KOW | January 30, 2006 at 05:30 PM
Dave, you will you be missing a good one tonight. I have a friend who knows someone who overheard something at a preliminary read thru last year. Tonights episode has several booger joke references and....... a walrus penis bone is used in the commission of a felony. *BUT KEEP IT QUIET*
Posted by: PeeJay. | January 30, 2006 at 05:32 PM
24: Singlehandedly keeping dangerous people off the streets and in front of their tv sets.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 30, 2006 at 05:33 PM
Alfred, Jack loves Starbucks, which is in Seattle, where it rains, but who's football team is in the Super Bowl - so, Go Jack and Go 'Hawks!!
Posted by: lawman | January 30, 2006 at 05:40 PM
Sorta sad that this week I will be at an undislosed location that might not be 24 friendly (or 420 friendly for that matter). :-(
Sorta happy that it is because for the first time in a long time there is a social life involved. Whodda thunk. I will be watching on a delay that might be coinciding with the Left Coast though. Happy Blogging all. If I dont catch up with you l8r, I'll c ya at work 2morrow.
Posted by: CoastRaven | January 30, 2006 at 05:40 PM
Do you think Jack could clear out a lane for me in the morning rush ?
Posted by: Down in Texas | January 30, 2006 at 05:56 PM
Hmm. President Manilow's weasel assistant is a mole. Does that make him a mole weasel? Is that anything like a naked mole rat?
I'm guessing yes, although I admit I see more physical resemblence to President Manilow. (Maybe they're related? Manilow and Asst. Mole Weasel, I mean.)
Posted by: qetzal | January 30, 2006 at 06:04 PM
I think I can explain the lack of killing. I don't know if any of you watch the best show on TV, Battlestar Galactica (and if you think I'm joking, you haven't seen it), but one of the reasons it's such a good show is what the producers have done for fans of the show. There is oodles of pretty raw behind the scenes stuff on the SciFi channel website... outtakes, interviews, blogs, podcasts, etc. If you read the producer's blogs, you can get a sense of the business of having a hit show. Cost of effects and shots, budgets for season, etc. dictate a lot of the action level from show to show. For example, they can do a very inexpensive episode by having a couple standard sets and no CGI. This lets them save up for a wild multi-location season finale with tons of expensive effects.
So to make a long story short, maybe it costs the 24 producers a lot to have Jack killing people, and they are saving up for a blockbuster episode.
Posted by: Brad | January 30, 2006 at 06:10 PM
Dave, get your rest. That's a helluva trip. We'll fill in, as usual. Just don't make this a habit. ;)
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 06:14 PM
for Dave (and other child-friendly people, and people who were at once children, and/or still are):
My 3-year-old son was playing on the bed while I folded laundry. At one point he said, "Mommy, look at this," and stuck out two of his fingers.
I reached out and stuck his fingers in my mouth and said "Roar! I'm gonna eat your fingers!", pretending to eat them.
My son had a devastated look on his face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
He replied, "What happened to my booger?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 30, 2006 at 06:23 PM
I saw Jack Bauer on tv last night,... and he didn't shoot anyone in the thigh! Or anywhere else!! Or even stab them with scissors! Nothin'. I was so confused and/or disappointed. Where's the Jack we know and love?!
Posted by: Muffles | January 30, 2006 at 06:36 PM
Hey, do you think Jack listens to JackFM?
Posted by: Betsi | January 30, 2006 at 06:38 PM
AnnieWBH: SNORK!
Posted by: Leetie | January 30, 2006 at 06:38 PM
Annie - as one of those people who are still children: LOL!
Oh, and just for El: VF!
Posted by: TCK | January 30, 2006 at 06:39 PM
For Dave and everyone else out there, this is the 24 site you need to know. Dedicated fans providing the humor and commentary that 24 deserves.
Posted by: Jon Witz | January 30, 2006 at 06:39 PM
For Dave and everyone else out there, this is the 24 site you need to know. Dedicated fans providing the humor and commentary that 24 deserves.
www.theydontknowjack.blogspot.com
Posted by: Jon Witz | January 30, 2006 at 06:40 PM
ROFL, AnnieWBH!
TCK - *smooch*
Posted by: Eleanor | January 30, 2006 at 06:43 PM
did anyone else notice CTU Online is helping maintain the running of this blog? But who could be responsible from CTU???? :O
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 30, 2006 at 06:48 PM
I am friends with a TV Newspaper critic and all the bastage will tell me about tonight is that "someone will get what is coming to them and someone else will be exonerated." This sounds like a thigh doubletap in the making!
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | January 30, 2006 at 06:49 PM
This was from our paper regarding our boy Jack in the gossip column.
Kiefer Sutherland, the star of "24," stunned staffers at Ye Rustic Inn in California Sunday when he and his pals walked into the bar and started ordering drinks -- at 9 a.m.
Steppin' Out magazine reports the "rail-thin" actor got a bit unruly when presented with the bill. Sutherland, 39, claimed his wallet had been stolen and then he "started to go into a series of karate kicks in the middle of the floor." A fan offered to foot the bill, and Sutherland left the locale after snarfing down a plate of chicken wings and littering the floor with bones.
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | January 30, 2006 at 06:54 PM
Bastage?
Posted by: pogo | January 30, 2006 at 06:55 PM
OK, I'm un-hip. "Bastage" has been used as a milder version of "bastard" since the movie "Johnnie Dangerously" in the 80's.
Posted by: pogo | January 30, 2006 at 06:57 PM
in case anyone didn't notice - El game me a "smooch"
Posted by: TCK a/k/a insufferable bragging monster | January 30, 2006 at 07:03 PM
Last night there were two reruns of Season 3 or 4. It would be cool to have all five seasons running on different nights/days all week.
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 07:12 PM
Did Dave say he was strumpeting in Moscow tonight?
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 07:14 PM
Sounds like Kiefer Sutherland thinks he really IS Jack Bauer!
Posted by: Blogchik | January 30, 2006 at 07:24 PM
Congrats, TCK!
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 07:26 PM
Ye Rustic Inn in Los Feliz? I would kick Kiefer's butt for being such a rude inconsiderate litterbug, but he'd probably enjoy the butt-kicking. Still, wouldn't mind seeing the tabloid headers - "Chic Decks Jack in Under 24 Seconds."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 30, 2006 at 07:30 PM
apparently CTU has taken down their advertisement...maybe it will reappear in the case of an employee dying???? it could happen...
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 30, 2006 at 07:35 PM
i've never actually posted a blog comment before, but i had to say i'm SO looking forward to your running commentary on 24. i'd never watched the show until i read all your posts on it and decided it must be the best comedy on television. i have to say i'm a little lost though...were edgar and chloe an item, or just one of those 'never meant to be' items?
Posted by: sgt sickler | January 30, 2006 at 07:44 PM
Oh gawd, I am on the geezer bus. Yes, bastage is from Johnny Dangerously.
Posted by: Crabby Appleton | January 30, 2006 at 07:54 PM
Not gonna make it tonight. Too sick to continue. Carry on.
Posted by: jlfintx | January 30, 2006 at 07:56 PM
Oh, no - they got jlfintx! And there's a mole on my thigh that looks like Edgar! Actually, it looks more like a groundhog.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 30, 2006 at 08:00 PM
This is Jack Bauer.
Tonight,I might have to get violent.
I'm going after Walt.
I don't like Walt.
Walt must be stopped.
So I'm going to stop him.
My way.
Posted by: Jack Bauer | January 30, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Daddy....don't !!
Posted by: Jack Bauer Jr. | January 30, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Sorry, Jack Jr.
a mans gotta do
what a mans gotta do.
Besides, I kind of like it.
Posted by: Jack Bauer | January 30, 2006 at 08:27 PM
*sniff*
Posted by: Jack Bauer Jr. | January 30, 2006 at 08:29 PM
When did Jack adopt a son?
I mean he never eats or pees so I'm fairly sure he's never taken the time to impregnate anyone.
Posted by: wolfie | January 30, 2006 at 08:29 PM
Sgt. Sickler: As a fairly new 24 convert, I gather Chloe and Edgar haven't hooked up.
And welcome to the craziness.
T- 29 minutes to launch.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 30, 2006 at 08:32 PM
Don't you talk to my daddy like that. Unless scissors in the neck sounds good to you or maybe a thigh shot.
Posted by: Jack Bauer Jr. | January 30, 2006 at 08:33 PM
It's nice to know your son is chip off
the old "ass-kickin" block.
Daddy's gotta go to work now.
Go to bed junior.
Posted by: Jack Bauer | January 30, 2006 at 08:41 PM
re: Jack & Jack, Jr. LOL
AND T- 10 minutes to launch
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 08:51 PM
Terrorists are using EDGAR as a WMD!!
Edgar is a Weapon of Mass Digestion? Who gnu?
Posted by: U.O | January 30, 2006 at 08:51 PM
LOL U.O
It's 10 minutes before the show and we've already got 50 posts on this thread...
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 08:52 PM
Oops. Just saw the preview. Looks like Presidential Assistant Mole Weasel is in for a rough episode.
Posted by: qetzal | January 30, 2006 at 08:56 PM
slyeyes,
thanks for the welcome, although i feel like i'm intruding on someone's family reunion or something.
Posted by: sgt sickler | January 30, 2006 at 08:57 PM
CTU badges? I ain't got no CTU badges, I do need no stinkin CTU badges.
Posted by: Fred Farkel | January 30, 2006 at 08:57 PM
Can't Jack just stab/shoot one of these ice skaters in the thigh/neck? THEY CAN'T DO FREAKIN' MATH!!!!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 08:58 PM
The show hasn't even started yet and there are 56 comments???
Posted by: Angie | January 30, 2006 at 08:59 PM
Just stating a fact there Jack Jr. And I know I'm safe enough. All I have to do is flash my national assets. Ladies with nice ones just get them plundered for transcripts, not scissored in the neck. Altho if you want a shot at my thighs we might be able to work something out.
Posted by: wolfie | January 30, 2006 at 08:59 PM
Good. I only had to endure about 4 seconds of Skating with Celebrities.
Now lets get to 24!
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:00 PM
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!!!!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:00 PM
Did you hear that? Graphic Violence people!!
Posted by: bizrey | January 30, 2006 at 09:00 PM
NERVE GAS!
Posted by: MoFaux | January 30, 2006 at 09:01 PM
They love showing that blouse scene, don't they?
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:01 PM
Wow...did all that happen in the last hour??! Amazing!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:02 PM
Former President Insurance Jesus saves...
...you money on car insurance.
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 30, 2006 at 09:02 PM
Jack knows Mike! That's why you should trust him! But, then again, he knows Audrey...that's a chink in his armor, if you ask me...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:03 PM
Cousin Sgt Sickler, don't worry.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 30, 2006 at 09:03 PM
I feel sooo much safer with Samwise in charge
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:03 PM
Ugh...Audrey's sorry for being distant with Jack.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:03 PM
wow. that audrey sure has a firm grasp on the obvious, doesn't she?
Posted by: sgt sickler | January 30, 2006 at 09:04 PM
There's Blofeld again.
Posted by: qetzal | January 30, 2006 at 09:04 PM
How come all the bad guys have accents?
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:05 PM
oooooh, that truck driver is HAWT!!
Posted by: slyeyes | January 30, 2006 at 09:05 PM
so nothing is going to happen for 9 days? this season might suck
Posted by: homeybeef | January 30, 2006 at 09:05 PM
Uh oh, first lady's still on the lam
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:05 PM
The Russian Terrorists' Science Fair Project: How Nerve Gas Affects a Human Subject.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:06 PM
in other words...the same process that happens in any frat house in the nation on any weekend
Posted by: philintexas | January 30, 2006 at 09:06 PM
Uh-oh. Mike has a Blackberry! The fool! Doesn't he know that their service is going to be shut down! And at the worst possible moment for Jack!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:07 PM
Since when is Mike not comfortable with secrecy?
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:07 PM
Not comfortable with the secrecy? Hellooo? Secret is what they are all about.
Posted by: wolfie | January 30, 2006 at 09:07 PM
STS is still alive? How long can that last?
Posted by: qetzal | January 30, 2006 at 09:08 PM
STS: Are you coming home with us?
Yeah. Ok.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:08 PM
Love how your mind works daisymae. Simul too. Sweet!
Posted by: wolfie | January 30, 2006 at 09:08 PM
Bad news, Dave: Jack still loves Audrey.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
He still loves AWWW-drey?
Posted by: qetzal | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
Awwwww, poor NGF T_T
Posted by: bizrey | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
Heh. Go figure. Jack has Audrey back, who cries rivers better than his current woman...time to dump the other chick and her son!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE STILL LOVES AUDREY!!! wait
this might mean she'll be killed....there's a decent chance of that happening....
Posted by: JBismyhomeboy | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
Wolfie: Yeah..baby!
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
Would somebody just shoot someone in the leg already?
Posted by: Momanon | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
oh, that all breakups could be that easy.
Posted by: sgt sickler | January 30, 2006 at 09:09 PM
OK, how is Walt taping a secure line?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 30, 2006 at 09:10 PM
KILL ME before I go through another one of these tender moments....
Posted by: Peg Leg Pete | January 30, 2006 at 09:10 PM
Uh oh...TAPPED!
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:10 PM
Apparently the only thing you can do at this point is to cut to commercial.
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 30, 2006 at 09:10 PM
Apparently the new lincoln can outrun a carpet. Nice to know.
Posted by: wolfie | January 30, 2006 at 09:11 PM
clearly Walt's only option is to be shot...in the thigh....good times
Posted by: mnich | January 30, 2006 at 09:11 PM
"At this point, there's only one thing you CAN do..."
Yeah. Dress up for a fancy tea party with Jack and President Weenie. Jack will bring his Jack Sack™ to bring some masculinity to the festivities.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 30, 2006 at 09:11 PM
Hey, guys, I keep getting this message asking me to copy a code so they can verify that I'm not a robot. It's happened twice tonight.
daisy who thinks the terrorists have infiltrated out thread
Posted by: daisymae | January 30, 2006 at 09:11 PM
When a Stranger Calls looks like a very original movie.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 30, 2006 at 09:12 PM