OK, here's where we stand:
1. Mean-looking actors with some kind of vaguely Russian accents
have taken over the airport in Ontario, a city in -- of all places -- Southern California.
2. I am at a book-signing on Long Island, which is nowhere near the Ontario airport, although it might be easier to get here from there than from Manhattan.
3. Fortunately, Jack Bauer IS at the airport, along with his
New Girlfriend and her Surly Teenage Son, who is looking more
like Chloe with every passing minute.
4. Also conveniently in the area are President Manilow, with his unstable cleavage-flaunting wife, who Knows Something but everybody thinks she's crazy but
she's not, though she is definitely a few forks shy of a fondue set. What nobody
knows except us viewers is that the president's weasel assistant is WORKING
WITH THE TERRORISTS.
So the situation is this: At any moment, the terrorists
could blow up the Ontario airport, thus putting many many extras out of work and possibly making traffic
in Southern California even worse than it
already is. Will Jack be able to stop them? There's only one of Jack, and a
whole bunch of terrorists, so I figure they're dead meat.
But as I say, I won't be watching, unless there's a TV on at
the bookstore. I'll be relying on you folks to provide commentary and analysis.
I will need to know: What happened? Did Jack shoot anybody in the thigh, which
he has so far failed to do for TWO WHOLE HOURS? Is this terrorist-airport
thing just a ploy, hiding Something Much Bigger? Speaking of which, is Edgar
going to cut down on the carbs? Because he is not looking good.
I will check back here when I can. Good luck to you all. For
now, I am signing off, from a Flank Two position.
Twenty-fourth! (x2!)
I can hardly wait...c'mon Red Bull, kick in when I need ya!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 07:45 PM
i'm SO excited. and i don't even watch 24! i might watch it, though, just to see what happens. but will i know?
Posted by: judi | January 16, 2006 at 07:49 PM
We'll keep you updated, judi. Though I, personally, have laundry to do and four kidlets to get in bed before I can devote full-time to blogging and watching. yay for DVR!
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 07:52 PM
Join us, Judi, before Jack digs up Marwan to desecrate his thigh...again!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 07:52 PM
hype, hype, hype, hype, hype....
Shoots him in the thigh....and still Femur does nothing.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 16, 2006 at 07:52 PM
Annie....ugh....groan....my thigh hurts I'm laughing so hard...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 07:54 PM
I only have thighs for youuuuuuu.....
okay.. I can't stay. Just thought I'd leave my 2 cents.
Posted by: Kafaleni | January 16, 2006 at 07:55 PM
let the wackyness continue
Posted by: homeybeef | January 16, 2006 at 07:55 PM
It's time!
Bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:00 PM
Dave, in a completely unexpected move, they're recapping last night's episode!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:01 PM
thg, I think it's more like a chink-chunk-chink-chunk...
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:03 PM
Can you hear me now?
Posted by: Bizrey | January 16, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Hot(?) New Girlfriend is rushing into the building, and Chloe Jr. is growing increasingly sweaty.
Oh, a guy just got shot for getting out his cell phone.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Why are the Russians the bad guys? Isn't that kind of 1970's?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:04 PM
A guy just tried to use his cell phone after the flight attendant/terrorist told him not to and he was shot.
Boy those FAA regulations are tough!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Lots of squinting.
And Jack's taken on a new disguise: luggage.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:06 PM
Oh, the old "sneaking in through the ceiling vent" trick.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:06 PM
oh, boy, another perimeter...no one will ever get through now.
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:06 PM
Didn't Jack kinda shoot that guy in the leg/thigh back at the chemical plant, right before he yelled at Chloe to hold her fire? Does that count?
Posted by: Rian | January 16, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Yes Jack has a lot to answer for. He armed Chloe for gods sake and look how well that turned out.
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:07 PM
The president has a hell of a chicken neck.
Posted by: jeese | January 16, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Holy Jack Crap Cam!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Luckily Jack has the high-tech cameraphone that paid the 24 producers the most money.
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 16, 2006 at 08:08 PM
Wow..there appears to be a large hill on Audrey's nose.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:08 PM
oooohooo! Jack told BB, super weeny, "up yours!"
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:08 PM
schematics downloading to phone asap. Clearly Jack doesn't have a crapcam.
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:09 PM
Memo to Cingular Wireless:
I want Jack Bauer's phone. His battery is AMAZING!!! He can also get service in the most outoftheway places.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:09 PM
i guess his neck is kind of President Weenie's foreskin
Posted by: jeese | January 16, 2006 at 08:09 PM
A ladder! How convenient!
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:10 PM
Grrrr, I hate weasels! >:(
Posted by: Bizrey | January 16, 2006 at 08:10 PM
They are widening the parameters!!
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:11 PM
Widen the parameters?! Heck, Edgar's as wide as they get!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:11 PM
Edgar made a joke about widening.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:11 PM
Edgar's parameters are wide enough already.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 16, 2006 at 08:12 PM
Oh no, four protocol violations! At this rate Chloe will end up on super-secret double probation!
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 16, 2006 at 08:12 PM
None of these guys/gals seem to make a typo. Impressive.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:12 PM
Chloe and Edgar are finally together! Dang that Audrey for butting in.
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:13 PM
The oppressed people of where? It sounded like he said Oregon.
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:13 PM
President Weenie is worried about being upstaged by the terrorists. Bah.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:13 PM
Apparently President Manilow is getting into the terrible twos...
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Oh-kay. This President needs a lesson in P.R.I.O.R.I.T.I.E.S.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Way to delegate there President Weenie.
Posted by: Bizrey | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Don't care what it takes?! Nuke em.
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Sly - it's "None of these guys/gals SEEMS to make a typo...no biggie, just sayin...
butt thanks!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Someone pass President weenie some of the first ladys lil pills. Quick!!
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:14 PM
how could you not like curtis?
Posted by: jeese | January 16, 2006 at 08:15 PM
oooooo cool gizmo!
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:16 PM
gizmo? did someone say gizmo?
Posted by: Kafaleni | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Jack spotted Kid Cobain. Dammit! Atleast his thigh is in good shape...currently.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
?
I apparently missed a gizmo.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
How could he promise that? time to pause and go get a couple of kids off to bed...keep me updated!
Posted by: Jessica R. | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Jack spotted Kid Cobain!
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
*laughing at her desk and cursing the three hour time delay to the West Coast.*
Posted by: Mad"ly in love with weasel" Scientist | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
The spyglass was left over from his pirate disguise.
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Swearing in a vent is very efficient.
Jack wants to shoot someone very badly...
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:18 PM
Jessica, he promised to get the kid back to his mom...... he didn't say in what condition.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:18 PM
Insane Jack Bauer Promise (IJBP) NUMBER 1
Posted by: jeese | January 16, 2006 at 08:18 PM
why are they always so fast in trusting jack? "Jack, we're going to arrest you" 10 minutes later...."Jack, I need you to run our operation"
Posted by: homeybeef | January 16, 2006 at 08:19 PM
Well, Jack may have a cool non-crapcam phone...but it doens't have bluetooth!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:19 PM
Jeez, it's Bill's job to resolve the situation AND make sure no one dies??!
Does the President have ANY idea how this works? And how many people die when they're within close proximity of Jack?
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM
i bet kim's in there
Posted by: jeese | January 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Is it just me, or is the President starting to sound a little like Rainman?
Posted by: Angie | January 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Uh oh. Someones gonna die
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Dammit Buchanan...let Chloe do the negotiating
Posted by: mnich | January 16, 2006 at 08:21 PM
looks like the insurance salesmans had it
Posted by: philintexas | January 16, 2006 at 08:22 PM
Kill #1 goes to Russian Terror man.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:22 PM
Well, one hostage down. Bill just failed at what President Weenie asked him to do. How soon before you think he's fired?
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:23 PM
Wow. He's not kidding about the son looking like Chloe.
Posted by: Angie | January 16, 2006 at 08:23 PM
Kid Cobain is about to bite it! Oh, wait, he's alive for 15 more minutes...and Curtis isn't ready.
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:24 PM
Jack's not gonna jeapardize the mission....Kid Cobain's toast
Posted by: philintexas | January 16, 2006 at 08:25 PM
Suddenly Kid Cobain doesn't have such a smart mouth. That wuss
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:25 PM
Clearly Sherri was involved with this somehow
Posted by: mnich | January 16, 2006 at 08:26 PM
if they pull a shot gun on Cobain Kid I might die of laughter and never take this show serous....wait...
Posted by: homeybeef | January 16, 2006 at 08:27 PM
What were the odds they'd single out K.C.?
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:27 PM
Ontario, California airport? Isn't that sort of the equivalent of taking over the Peoria airport?
Posted by: FleaBailey | January 16, 2006 at 08:29 PM
I think First Lady Crazy's assistant is a terrorist too.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:29 PM
Sam, that's my thought, too.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:30 PM
Does anyone wonder how Formerly Dead Ex-President Allstate Insurance Salesman knew about the terrorist plan, when NO ONE in the whole US government did?
He must have watched the previews.
Posted by: qetzal | January 16, 2006 at 08:30 PM
Jack to Chloe: "Are you alone?"
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:31 PM
What are you wearing?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:31 PM
Jack's jealous. If anyone gets to blow up innocent civilians on this show, it's gonna be him, darn it!
Posted by: Stormy Dragon | January 16, 2006 at 08:31 PM
At least Dave's shameless shilling for his new book is paying off, even if they don't provide a live Fox feed in the Long Island B&N.
Posted by: Guin | January 16, 2006 at 08:32 PM
C'mon, Spencer. You know she'll make it worth your while!
Posted by: qetzal | January 16, 2006 at 08:32 PM
Spencer! Spencer! JUST DO IT, SPENCER!!!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:32 PM
Chloe going rogue with these protocol violations...Spencer's having serious morning after issues
Posted by: philintexas | January 16, 2006 at 08:32 PM
But Chloe admitted she needed him. And ticked off Edgar. Is that a hat trick in espionage terms?
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:33 PM
Do you think Charlene will sneak out using sunglasses?
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:34 PM
So...First Lady Crazy just entered the men's bathroom to ask about recordings.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:34 PM
Hey, IT Manager, you show her your access, she'll show you her cleavage!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:34 PM
First Lady Weinie's a men's room crasher....she can blame it on the pills later
Posted by: philintexas | January 16, 2006 at 08:34 PM
Must be some kind of 24 rule:
Good President (David Palmer), BAD 1st Lady (Sherri)
BAD President (The Weenie), GOOD (if slightly imbalanced) 1st Lady
Posted by: qetzal | January 16, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Has he flushed yet?
Posted by: scat | January 16, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Charlene, tell Burke to get the information, or you'll blab about the size of his weenie
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Wow...interesting methods of persuasion. She's very inventive.
Posted by: Sam G. | January 16, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Slightly?
Posted by: wolfie | January 16, 2006 at 08:35 PM
Nice call, th.c guy!
Posted by: qetzal | January 16, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Anyone having type-pad issues? I'm signed in to type pad, but every once in awhile when I hit post, it asks me to sign in.
Perhaps if I put on my sunglasses and disguise myself as spam I'll have better luck.
Posted by: slyeyes | January 16, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Mrs. President Weasel bared her thigh! And so far, nobody shot her in the thigh.
Posted by: Stolzi | January 16, 2006 at 08:37 PM
qetzal: Not only did he know about the terrorist's plan, who did he tell? The freakin' crazy First Lady from Hell (with helluvalotta cleavage!). That makes perfect sense, right? The ONE person you tell...not even your own freakin' brother...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | January 16, 2006 at 08:37 PM
Nice ramparts on that First Lady, there, eh?
Posted by: Lairbo | January 16, 2006 at 08:38 PM