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January 16, 2006


OK, here's where we stand:

1. Mean-looking actors with some kind of vaguely Russian accents have taken over the airport in Ontario, a city in -- of all places -- Southern California.

2. I am at a book-signing on Long Island, which is nowhere near the Ontario airport, although it might be easier to get here from there than from Manhattan.

3. Fortunately, Jack Bauer IS at the airport, along with his New Girlfriend  and her Surly Teenage Son, who is looking more like Chloe with every passing minute.

4. Also conveniently in the area are President Manilow, with his unstable cleavage-flaunting wife, who Knows Something but everybody thinks she's crazy but she's not, though she is definitely a few forks shy of a fondue set. What nobody knows except us viewers is that the president's weasel assistant is WORKING WITH THE TERRORISTS.

So the situation is this: At any moment, the terrorists could blow up the Ontario airport, thus putting many many extras out of work and possibly making traffic in Southern California even worse than it already is. Will Jack be able to stop them? There's only one of Jack, and a whole bunch of terrorists, so I figure they're dead meat.

But as I say, I won't be watching, unless there's a TV on at the bookstore. I'll be relying on you folks to provide commentary and analysis. I will need to know: What happened? Did Jack shoot anybody in the thigh, which he has so far failed to do for TWO WHOLE HOURS? Is this terrorist-airport thing just a ploy, hiding Something Much Bigger? Speaking of which, is Edgar going to cut down on the carbs? Because he is not looking good.

I will check back here when I can. Good luck to you all. For now, I am signing off, from a Flank Two position.


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Twenty-fourth! (x2!)

I can hardly wait...c'mon Red Bull, kick in when I need ya!

i'm SO excited. and i don't even watch 24! i might watch it, though, just to see what happens. but will i know?

We'll keep you updated, judi. Though I, personally, have laundry to do and four kidlets to get in bed before I can devote full-time to blogging and watching. yay for DVR!

Join us, Judi, before Jack digs up Marwan to desecrate his thigh...again!

hype, hype, hype, hype, hype....

Shoots him in the thigh....and still Femur does nothing.

Annie....ugh....groan....my thigh hurts I'm laughing so hard...

I only have thighs for youuuuuuu.....

okay.. I can't stay. Just thought I'd leave my 2 cents.

let the wackyness continue

It's time!

Bleep, bloop, bleep, bloop!

Dave, in a completely unexpected move, they're recapping last night's episode!

thg, I think it's more like a chink-chunk-chink-chunk...

Can you hear me now?

Hot(?) New Girlfriend is rushing into the building, and Chloe Jr. is growing increasingly sweaty.
Oh, a guy just got shot for getting out his cell phone.

Why are the Russians the bad guys? Isn't that kind of 1970's?

A guy just tried to use his cell phone after the flight attendant/terrorist told him not to and he was shot.

Boy those FAA regulations are tough!

Lots of squinting.
And Jack's taken on a new disguise: luggage.

Oh, the old "sneaking in through the ceiling vent" trick.

oh, boy, another perimeter...no one will ever get through now.

Didn't Jack kinda shoot that guy in the leg/thigh back at the chemical plant, right before he yelled at Chloe to hold her fire? Does that count?

Yes Jack has a lot to answer for. He armed Chloe for gods sake and look how well that turned out.

The president has a hell of a chicken neck.

Holy Jack Crap Cam!

Luckily Jack has the high-tech cameraphone that paid the 24 producers the most money.

Wow..there appears to be a large hill on Audrey's nose.

oooohooo! Jack told BB, super weeny, "up yours!"

schematics downloading to phone asap. Clearly Jack doesn't have a crapcam.

Memo to Cingular Wireless:

I want Jack Bauer's phone. His battery is AMAZING!!! He can also get service in the most outoftheway places.

i guess his neck is kind of President Weenie's foreskin

A ladder! How convenient!

Grrrr, I hate weasels! >:(

They are widening the parameters!!

Widen the parameters?! Heck, Edgar's as wide as they get!

Edgar made a joke about widening.

Edgar's parameters are wide enough already.

Oh no, four protocol violations! At this rate Chloe will end up on super-secret double probation!

None of these guys/gals seem to make a typo. Impressive.

Chloe and Edgar are finally together! Dang that Audrey for butting in.

The oppressed people of where? It sounded like he said Oregon.

President Weenie is worried about being upstaged by the terrorists. Bah.

Apparently President Manilow is getting into the terrible twos...

Oh-kay. This President needs a lesson in P.R.I.O.R.I.T.I.E.S.

Way to delegate there President Weenie.

Don't care what it takes?! Nuke em.

Sly - it's "None of these guys/gals SEEMS to make a typo...no biggie, just sayin...
butt thanks!

Someone pass President weenie some of the first ladys lil pills. Quick!!

how could you not like curtis?

oooooo cool gizmo!

gizmo? did someone say gizmo?

Jack spotted Kid Cobain. Dammit! Atleast his thigh is in good shape...currently.


I apparently missed a gizmo.

How could he promise that? time to pause and go get a couple of kids off to bed...keep me updated!

Jack spotted Kid Cobain!

*laughing at her desk and cursing the three hour time delay to the West Coast.*

The spyglass was left over from his pirate disguise.

Swearing in a vent is very efficient.
Jack wants to shoot someone very badly...

Jessica, he promised to get the kid back to his mom...... he didn't say in what condition.

Insane Jack Bauer Promise (IJBP) NUMBER 1

why are they always so fast in trusting jack? "Jack, we're going to arrest you" 10 minutes later...."Jack, I need you to run our operation"

Well, Jack may have a cool non-crapcam phone...but it doens't have bluetooth!

Jeez, it's Bill's job to resolve the situation AND make sure no one dies??!

Does the President have ANY idea how this works? And how many people die when they're within close proximity of Jack?

i bet kim's in there

Is it just me, or is the President starting to sound a little like Rainman?

Uh oh. Someones gonna die

Dammit Buchanan...let Chloe do the negotiating

looks like the insurance salesmans had it

Kill #1 goes to Russian Terror man.

Well, one hostage down. Bill just failed at what President Weenie asked him to do. How soon before you think he's fired?

Wow. He's not kidding about the son looking like Chloe.

Kid Cobain is about to bite it! Oh, wait, he's alive for 15 more minutes...and Curtis isn't ready.

Jack's not gonna jeapardize the mission....Kid Cobain's toast

Suddenly Kid Cobain doesn't have such a smart mouth. That wuss

Clearly Sherri was involved with this somehow

if they pull a shot gun on Cobain Kid I might die of laughter and never take this show serous....wait...

What were the odds they'd single out K.C.?

Ontario, California airport? Isn't that sort of the equivalent of taking over the Peoria airport?

I think First Lady Crazy's assistant is a terrorist too.

Sam, that's my thought, too.

Does anyone wonder how Formerly Dead Ex-President Allstate Insurance Salesman knew about the terrorist plan, when NO ONE in the whole US government did?

He must have watched the previews.

Jack to Chloe: "Are you alone?"

What are you wearing?

Jack's jealous. If anyone gets to blow up innocent civilians on this show, it's gonna be him, darn it!

At least Dave's shameless shilling for his new book is paying off, even if they don't provide a live Fox feed in the Long Island B&N.

C'mon, Spencer. You know she'll make it worth your while!

Spencer! Spencer! JUST DO IT, SPENCER!!!

Chloe going rogue with these protocol violations...Spencer's having serious morning after issues

But Chloe admitted she needed him. And ticked off Edgar. Is that a hat trick in espionage terms?

Do you think Charlene will sneak out using sunglasses?

So...First Lady Crazy just entered the men's bathroom to ask about recordings.

Hey, IT Manager, you show her your access, she'll show you her cleavage!

First Lady Weinie's a men's room crasher....she can blame it on the pills later

Must be some kind of 24 rule:

Good President (David Palmer), BAD 1st Lady (Sherri)

BAD President (The Weenie), GOOD (if slightly imbalanced) 1st Lady

Has he flushed yet?

Charlene, tell Burke to get the information, or you'll blab about the size of his weenie

Wow...interesting methods of persuasion. She's very inventive.


Nice call, th.c guy!

Anyone having type-pad issues? I'm signed in to type pad, but every once in awhile when I hit post, it asks me to sign in.

Perhaps if I put on my sunglasses and disguise myself as spam I'll have better luck.

Mrs. President Weasel bared her thigh! And so far, nobody shot her in the thigh.

qetzal: Not only did he know about the terrorist's plan, who did he tell? The freakin' crazy First Lady from Hell (with helluvalotta cleavage!). That makes perfect sense, right? The ONE person you tell...not even your own freakin' brother...

Nice ramparts on that First Lady, there, eh?

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