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December 20, 2005


The ski trip is going well. Not a single fatality in our group so far, although several people have shown that it is possible to go down the side of a mountain using primarily your face. I myself have been taking it easy, sticking to the easier ski areas, mainly inside the condominium. It has a spiral staircase, but if I take it slow and keep my knees bent, I can handle it.


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Dave, I always knew you were a natural athlete!



The ski run that requires the most knee bending to achieve maximum results is Porcelain Peak... just at the bottom on the spiral staircase.

Try a toboggan, Dave. Perfect for spiral staircases.

You're my kind of skier, Dave. I've always wondered what's the big deal with freezing your nose off just to fall down a mountain, then pay lots of money to stand in line and do it again.

Dave - I hear sliding off a barstool in the lodge is also challenging but managable - it also involves less equipment

Sounds like the time as a child that my older sister and I decided that a cardboard box and the stairs were a sledding opportunity.

TCK - what is SG going to say?

And for this I get a robot?

mudstuffin skiing?
like chocolate covered mushrooms
it just isn't right

monkey ~ my name brings up the robot deal?

John, I agree with you completely.

I live near Cleveland so our idea of skiing is going out to bars all night in the Polish part of town...

monkeyshines - I predict that southerngirl will ask about the robot thingy, and agree completly with john...

why do you ask?


I'm reminded of the "Ski Kansas" T-shirt with the silohuette of skier being pulled over flat ground by a farm tractor.

I understand "Spiral Staircase Speed Skiing" will be on the Olympic agenda this year!


Judging from the volume of blogging The Blog has been blogging, The Blog ain't been anywheres near snow. So, to make you lodge-blogging more comfortable, I offer the following recipe:

1 cup of hot cocoa (mudstuffin's marshmellows optional)
1 shot of Bailey's Irish Creme
Mix, drink, repeat as necessary

Now there's a serious apres skiing activity!

*goes off to consider which Austrian Alps skiing area he's going to visit this weekend*

I thought Florida folks only skied on water. Of course, snow is frozen water...


Kibby - I am soooooo jealous! The Austrian Alps? Please, take me with you! Please please please?

Oh, plane fare? Um, let me check my wallet...


I think that I did the dreaded repost too (not to or two) soon. Unless all of those references to regions under SG's bed have the robot screening for her name;)

TCK - You are psychic! Do you think that Twitney will marry one of her dancers?

monkeyshines -

I had that exact same experience as a child. Except it was putting my younger brother in a barrel and rolling him down the big hill behind our house.

Luckily, the ditch kept him from rolling out into the road at the bottom.

qetzal-We graduated to contests to see who could sled from the barn to the road. Tenth of a mile of snow and ice heaven. I still have the sled. Wax and baby oil on the runners helps cut the friction. Okay, the older, wiser(?) me is now scared.

monkeyshines - I'll have to get back to you on that one - I left my magic 8 ball under southerngirl's bed

The sharp drop off the bar stool seems a little riskier than the gradual downslope of the spiral staircase. Of course, with the proper equipment ...

the sledding trick.. Grumpy Roommate's 2 boys used to do this with a large laundry basket and the stairs at our old townhouse. until they went through the wall at the bottom, that is. he was so mad he plastered it back up with them inside, and then we moved.

(oh, they got out and followed us. consarnit)

Just remember, Dave: Making the "pizza" with your feet won't really slow you down too well when you descend the stairs, though it will look funnier as you fall.

Actually, works the same on the side of a mountain.

TCK - it's near the head of the bed, toward the left. Hang a right at the second dust bunny.

This brings back memories of tobogganing under barb-wire fences.

I have always been fond of ski-trip hot tubbing as a recreational activity. Well, not always, but ever since I fell off the ski lift when I was 12. (I am not making that up)

If you think of trying to "ski" down the slope or a staircare with toboggan, sit down until the thought passes.

My tailbone still hurts on Crash Day + 9

Post-rum fun - inner-tubing down ski slopes!

Wonder if he took a detachable cast for his legs so he can sit in the bar by the fireplace waxing about the 4 black diamon slope he broke his legs on?

Once you master the spiral staircase, Dave, try skiing through a revolving door. They say it improves your coordination.

The best way to learn to ski is to travel in time back to when you were seven or so. My kids took about 8 minutes of lessons and then starting going off a ramp at roughly 700 mph.

Climber 10 flights of stairs, five stories, yesterday at the dr.'s office. No skiing.

These stories remind me of when we were teenagers, and my ex-husband (then boyfriend) wanted to teach me to (water)ski. He said it doesn't hurt too much when you fall! I still don't know how to water ski.

Well, don't strain your funny bone; then we'd all be up a creek.

Hey, Bumble, are you there yet, are you there yet?

I've never been skiing before, but I have been thinking of going skiing over break. I'm just not sure if I'll even be able to stand up. Seriously, how hard is it? For someone like me, with no balance? I don't want to go unless I would be able to effectively ski down a slight slope by the end of the trip. Falling on my face in the snow and applying heat packs isn't a great vacation.

Patchy... then Maui sounds like a better destination. avoid surfboards tho'.

Patchy - most ski places have "bunny" hills for beginning skiers. Very gentle, usually short slopes, and from there you can work your way up to trickier slopes as you feel comfortable. Personally, I've never fallen on my face skiing. When I hit the deck I land on my butt or my hip. Skiing isn't hard if you take your time and exercise a little common sense.

southerngirl~ I am in Portland. I read a large stack of books to my darling, and now I'm making a heroic effort not to respond to the pitiful cries of "Auntie Bea!" which are currently emanating from the bedroom where he's supposed to be napping.

Patchy - I first skied as a grand old man of 40. There was package deal - equipment rental, a lesson, and a lift ticket for a reasonable price. I made several trips down the bunny slopes and the intermediate slopes on that day.

I was not a "picture of grace", but I didn't injure myself and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Go fer it!

Remember ,Skiers, Orthopeadic Surgeons set up practice at the foot of local ski resorts,and make a mint...soo... if you really wanna pad their paychecks, go ahead, break something!!! HAVE SURGERY AND INSUFFICIENT NARCOTICS!

I'm the nervous type, who sits in the ski lounge, lears at The Gentically Superior types walking (or limping) nearby, and worrying that an avalanche will get us all...(let's see, on the probability scale of.......)

EB. Built for the Prairie!

Bumble ~ glad to hear you made it. Have fun!

So, a fun ski trip requires the use of the phrase "I didn't injure/kill myself or anyone else"?

Call me a flatlander if you must, but maybe I'll just stick to cross country skiing.

I concur with EB - there is a wide variety of perfectly good alcoholic drinks being served in any ski lodge worth its logs - why would you ever leave to go risk your life barreling down a freezing cold mountain with long pieces of wood strapped to your feet? If God had wanted us to ski, well it would be in the Bible, now wouldn't it?

Actually its mentioned in Ephesians 23 verse 12

"Verily I say to you my children, it is righteous to travel down the mountain on the snow that God has given you, enjoying the beauty of the world and its many creatures. Thy shoes should be made of wood and be 2 cubits long."

Actually being serious just for a minute, one of the most religious experiences that I've had was at the top of a mountain in the German alps, well above the clouds with the sun shining on the ice crystals floating in the air. It was so intensely beautiful that it was impossible to imagine that there was not a God who had created something so wonderful.

OK - Back to the silliness.

wow ArcticAl, that's beautiful - one of the most religious experiences I have ever had was with a girl named Veronica, who could do this thing with her...

well, maybe that was more erotic than religious...

on the other hand, Veronica was intensely beautiful, and I'm pretty sure I saw God when she did that thing...

All right, it sounds like it's worth a shot. Plus now my friends want me to go because they think there will be attractive ski instructors.

ArticAl - that's what THEY want you to think.

TCK - I think Veronica had a sister we called "Amazing Grace".

Good luck, Patchy. My instructor was Bertha the Hun. But there's lots of folks on the slopes.

I'm not bad looking if I say so myself and I'm a ski instructor.

Patchy, one word (sometimes two) Skiblades aka snowblades or skiboards.

I had been snowboarding twice and regular skiing once when I first tried snowblades. In my previous 3 trips I had spent a considerable amount of time in the snow. On my FIRST experience with the blades, I think I only fell once and that was because I got too over-confident.

They are shorter and therefore MUCH easier to control. The shortness also keeps you from going TOO fast although you'll still go plenty fast enough to have a good time.

monk' -- I thing mebbe the word in your post that awakened the robot "thingy" might've been b*x ... just guessin' ...

Bumble - as to being "up the creek" ... the next time you're "up the creek without a paddle ..." just be thankful you've still got a canoe ...

Is this thread-ki!!er on every thread?

Let me say to ArcticAl, I happened to appreciate your imagery. Seriously. And I'm sure you are quite attractive.

Also, ignore TCK and pogo, they're just freaks. NTTAWWT.

And, I've heard that for Veronica's sake, well, I've got to get out of here.

U.O~ Apparently. People who don't have anything better than that to do are pathetic.

Hi, Bumble ... you're up late ... of course, you added a couple of hours to your day by going to Portland ... had nefoo been keeping you busy?

Been to Powell's yet? Mebbe you could take him, and find him some great books to read ... well, you could read to him ... you know whut I mean ...

... does he like Curious George?

Harold and Purple Crayon? (That one usually gives little critters ideas ... the kind that they act upon ... mebbe Mom doesn't want him to think about coloring the walls?)

U.O~ He's a smart one. He has most of his books memorized now; he reads them to me. And he has tons of books. I'm not heading to Powell's till after Christmas. I know one of my sisters bought me books, but I don't know which ones. And, yeah, it's only 8:41 here, but my yawns are telling me I'd better take the same bedtime as the little guy. Though my bro-in-law is threatening to improve upon my non-existent chess skills tonight...

That's really cool, when they "read" to you ... my ma used to say that the first time I did that, she thot I was really reading, but then she realized my trick ... not too long after that, apparently, I did learn how to read ... and I got impatient with how slowly she read to me, so I was reading ahead ... then she gave up, and let me read on my own ... whatever I wanted to read ... that habit has stuck with me all my life ...

Hope he keeps reading ... that's the ticket ... if one can keep them from getting too mesmerized by TV and video games, look where it can take them ... just where I am, at this moment ...

Blogging ...

On Friday evening? I skied down the basement stairs. On my butt. They're wood and I was wearing fleece socks. Bad combination. You should see the bruise...

Actually, no you shouldn't.

Discover more great stories like you have just read on our blog designed for worldly ski enthusiasts at www.skirebel.com

I tried to find the origin of an old song my father used to sing.-in the twenties!
'She practices toboganning on the old staircase
Seated on the tea tray she challenged me to race,
The first time I tried I did the journey on my face-
So she can go TOBOGANNING for me.

Google failed to come up with an answer. However it led me to this excellent blog with similar humorous ideas.
My father was a violinist and sang the above verse to a tune I still remember. He was born in 1870 and he lived as an enthusiastic amateur, in a world of opera and music hall. I suspect it is the latter that this comic ditty owes its origin.
Despite this small failure I still hope to justify the aquisition of aq new iMAC -for my wife!

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