I AM OFFICIALLY 800 YEARS OLD

So we're going to this New Year's Eve party at the house of a friend, and since my wife and I are always the first (and sometimes the only) couple to start dancing, the hostess asked us to call the DJ and tell him what kind of music we'd like. So I called him and explained that it would be an older crowd, and suggested that he play at least some songs from the Sixties and Seventies.

And he said: "The thing is, there were no dance songs in the Sixties. My stuff starts in the Seventies"

For just a moment there, my mind flashed back to some insane nights 40 years ago, with lights flashing and drums pounding and guitars screaming and bodies gyrating everywhere for hours and hours. I thought about trying to convey this image to the DJ.

But what I said was: "The Seventies will be fine."

Comments

[Bismuth]

Happy 800th, Dave!

[Brad]

Dave, Just a little tip for you I learned on Scott Adams' blog. Move your hips. You'll look like you know what you're doing. Good luck!

[Dave]

Hey, I'll have you know I am a good dancer, for an 800-year-old white guy.

[U.O]

Aaah, c'mon, Dave ... no guts, no glory ... Mebbe you should take a guitar along to the party ... show 'em some REAL hot licks ...

... um ... whut about the 50s?

[U.O]

... and ...

Where's Allan Freed when you really need him?

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

'Motown'
you're welcome

[U.O]

... 'cuz I know the Wolfman is not longer available ...

[judi]

there are no DANCE SONGS FROM THE SIXTIES?! shoot me now.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Bang!

[Christobol]

Thanks for the line, Dave.

I think I'll start using it, but not at parties. Maybe like this:

"Sir, you can't park your car there."
"Why not?"
"Well, it's a lawn. And you're on Oprah's foot."
"Hey, I'll have you know I am a good dancer, for an 800-year-old white guy."
"Oh. Carry on."

[kevin]

lol @ Bismuth

[KOW]

Hey, Yoda was kicking it at 800. Don't let that get you down.

[southerngirl]

Dave and Judi - I've also heard that there were no drugs in the sixties.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

And no crime. Or hanky-panky.

[Christobol]

Also Dave - Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Some funny smart guy said that.

[Eleanor]

LOL, s'girl! But you're right. There were no drugs, no dance music, no sex - all we did was go to the corner drug store and drink milkshakes and malts after school.
very fun.....

[Eleanor]

...and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was a song about butterflies - really. That's what Paul told me anyway. :)

[Brian Jackson/James]

No dance tunes from the '60s? Tell that to my father Tommy James who recorded Mony Mony in '68! Guess he's going on 800 too:-)

Cheers,
Brian

[mudstuffin]

I think maybe it was the presence of such things as psyillicibin, peyote, LSD, marijuana, etc. that made us capable of dancing to such music. The kids these days need a little more help from the music itself since the drugs they're on (crack, methamphetamine, prozac, etc.) don't do much to make the music visible, three-dimensional, or whatever IYCMD.

[Dave]

Brian -- We're honored by your presence. I LOVE that song. They can play that song at my funeral (possibly next week).
Really, I love that song.

[JustLinda]

Hang in there for just a couple more years and your memory will go and then you won't have to feel frustrated with idiots like that because, well, you won't be able to remember whether they're wrong or not.

[Betsy]

Mud...I never ever ever remember dancing on LSD. I was too busy trying to keep my molecules from flying off into the void. But Mahatma's first post has it right on target. I still make an annual pilgrimage to Merillville, ID to see their Motown/DooWop revival shows...with Little Eva, and Question Mark (no Mysterians, though) and Cannibal, and assorted Temps, Tops, and proto Temps/Tops. We were dancing in THE 60's and we're still dancing in OUR 60's. We're pathetic, yes; but we're still dancing.
Brian...and the Shondells???? Duuuuuude!!!

[Betsy]

For those of you making up a doowop caravan, Merrillville is in IN, not ID...'k? Must be the acid flashback again.

[Addicted to 24]

As the unoffical under 30 rep for the blog let me say that the DJ is on crack as the twist is a great dance song (beacause it is one of two songs I can actually dance to the other being House of Pain's Jump. I came to get down I came to get down so get off your seat and jump around. I know it doesnt make much sense but dang if it isnt fun)

[mudstuffin]

Yeah, dancing on LSD looks a lot like a slow-motion skipping, or simply swaying back and forth with a big grin. (This was done when molecule suppression is not the highest priority.)

[Calendar]

Skip the party entirely, Dave; it sounds like a loser. 70s music sucked; the 60s were far better. Retro Country is better yet. Stick with Haggard, Nelson, Jones, Jennings and the rest. For a "new" artist who's hot, try Heather Myles. A great songwriter and performer.

If all else fails, make a fool of yourself.

[madsoapboxer]

NO DANCE MUSIC IN THE 60's!??! What the.... ? Don't let Chubby Checker hear that or he'll twist that DJ like a pretzel!

Besides, I can personally attest to the fact that ANY music can be danced to with enough alcohol in one's bloodstream... I'll grant you, it takes an extra coupla snorts to get the right moves going for some of Tchaikovsky's works from the 60's (1860's, that is), but it CAN be done.

[Annie in Texas]

"And no crime. Or hanky-panky."

No, no, you're thinking of the 50s.

Come on, no dance music in the 60s, what the heck were we twisting to? The mashed potato and the jerk were more than just food groups and a bodily spasms. Ok, the jerk was ALL about bodily spasms, but DOO the LOCOmotion with MMEE.

"You gotta swing your hips now, come on
Oh, well I think you got the kna-ack, whoa, whoa,
Now that you can do it let's make a chain, now
Come on, baby, do the locomotion . . ."

Heck, if that ain't dancing I don't know what is! No dance music in the 60's, grumble, mumble, mumble, I oughta smack him over the head with his own miserable 45s!

[artchick]

Ahem.
Shake it up, baby, now, Twist and Shout.
Thank you.

If anybody needs me, I'll be behind the geezer bus, smashing a disco ball.

[qetzal]

Better plan: get a new DJ. If this one thinks that dance music started in the 70s, you can already tell what he means by "dance music" -

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Disco. (As in, SUCKS.)

[Addicted to 24]

Annie I have a question...
What is a 45?
(ducks to avoid being hit by serveral 45's)

[Marie in Kourou]

I was born after John Lennon died, but even I know the 60s gave us some of the best music ever.

Excuse me while I go play some Beatles so loud that the neighbors will feel like boogying, too.

[Annie in Texas]

Another young whippersnapper, feel the rath of my hifi stereo on full blast stun mode!

BWA HA hahahahahahaha

[queensbee]

there were no drugs left AFTER the 60s because Keith Richard took em all. and beware of that disco!!

[Suzy Q]

Dave, hows about you bring some of your own CDs to the party? Might liven things up a bit, and also teach that twit of a DJ a thing or two.

[Noob]

Addicted, you've got to be kidding. I'm only 33 and my first music (that I owned and my folks hated) was on 45 (i.e. small vinyl for singles, one on each side, played at 45 rpm). John Cougar's "Jack and Diane."

As for the DooWop, etc., I'm a huge Coasters fan. Little Egypt, Poison Ivy, Shopping for Clothes, etc. Yep. Even more fun was watching my folks dirty dance or jitterbug to such music as they had in the '50's and '60's. In our house, we had Cajun music, Zydeco, and everything from Big Bands to the Eagles "Hotel California." My favorite song as a kid was "Lay Down Sally" by Clapton. And I didn't even know he was cool!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

Just put this record on and send the DJ home . . .
(I know, I know, it's good, really!)

[U.O]

Yeah, whut they all said ... and ...

Blue Eyes, Ella, Hoagy Carmichel (sp?), Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, Xavier Cugat, Guy Lombardo and a bunch of them others will be surprised to learn that there was no dance music before the 70s ... that musta been "virtual" money they all made, from all those records and live appearances ...

and ...

Who says you can't dance to Tchaikovsky? Barishnikov did it many times ... just sayin' ... as one example ...

[Addicted to 24]

For the record let me state that one of my most prized posestions is a 45 of Elvis singing "In the Ghetto". I firmly believe that the sound quality with records is way better than CD.
And his mamma cried.

[mags]

I think what the DJ meant to say was "I'm a moron. Please fire me." I can totally understand where he went wrong between the brain and tongue.

[John]

Brian....last week I saw a nice article about your dad in the local paper...where he grew up. He wrote some of that stuff when he was just 17!!

Anyway, what's this DJ's email adress? Maybe we should send him a pile of MP3 dancin' music from the 60's.

[U.O]

One word:

Rock 'n' Roll ...

Wait ... that's two words ...

Rock around the Clock ...

No, that's three words ...

... um ... nevermind ...

[Bumble]

OK, I'm only 21 and I know that guy's a moron. I sang and danced (multiple times) to a show called Sixties with a Twist when I was in high school swing choir (memories...). Tell you hostess to get another DJ, Dave.

[Wavey]

You're too polite, Dave. I think I would not have been able to help laughing in that guy's face. And I definitely would NOT have settled for the '70s. I'm thinking that this guy is equating dance music with disco, so that's why he thinks that dance music started in the '70s. Ugh! Disco sucks!

'60s music was the BEST decade for music. And that's coming from a guy that was too young to even know what was going on in the '60s, but discovered it later and now owns tons of '60s music. Actually, I can thank disco for driving me to discover '60s music in the first place. At the height of Saturday Night Fever mania, when all of the stations were playing Bee Gees, Samantha Sang and similar crap endlessly, I just HAD to find something better to listen to. So I went a decade backwards in time, and found precious treasure!!

[madsoapboxer]

U.O, I recognize that Barishnikov and others may have danced to Tchaikovsky, but they aren't built like ME! Besides, who's to say THEY didn't get tanked up before they danced too?

BTW, Noob, pop on out to The Sahara in Vegas to see the Coasters in action (with the Platters and Drifters) and you can dance in the aisles... I didn't see the show when I was there for New Years 2003 (didn't win enough to pay for the tickets) but we did play Blackjack with one of the Platters for a while right around midnight. He was nuttier than a fruitcake -- it was a blast! (not an advertisement, but if they send me a pile of money I'll make even MORE comments about them)

[U.O]

msb -

I know whut yew mean ... I don't dance, either ... not with my total lack of rhythm and motor skills ...

Kinda like how I look and sound ... when I was in journalism I always thot I had a "radio" face and a "typewriter" voice ... so that's where I stayed ... off TV and off the air ...

[AlanBoss]

Brian (and everyone), the worst part is, if you asked DJ Sparky to play "Mony, Mony" he would say, "The Billy Idol song? Yeah, I got that!"

Speaking of Hanky Panky (of which, there was none in the 60s) Didn't Tommy James also do "My Baby Does the Hanky Panky?"

[U.O]

Yep.

[Wavey]

From Allmusic.com's bio of Tommy James & The Shondells:

"Tommy James & the Shondells -- the very mention of their name, even to someone who doesn't really know their music, evokes images of dances and the kind of fun that rock & roll represented before it redefined itself on more serious terms."

You can tell that DJ, "See the word 'dances' in there? Yes, people actually danced before 1977."

And yet...I don't fully agree with the Allmusic description. Some of Tommy's stuff was deep. Crystal Blue Persuasion, Sweet Cherry Wine, and Ball Of Fire immediately come to mind.

[U.O]

Wavey, don't forget the trancendental fortes and intellectual chiarscuro displayed in ...

Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram
In the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop
In the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip
In the dip da dip da dip?

and in that other mentally stimulating opus ...

Arnold, Arnold bo Barnold Bonana fanna fo Farnold
Fee fy mo Marnold Arnold!

Ahhhhh ... those were the good ol' days ...

[Brian Jackson/James]

Dave,
I'll pass that along. He's up here (Niles, MI) for the holidays & we're hangin' out.

John,
You mean the South Bend Tribune Business Weekly? Good article. I take it you're also from this nebulous "Michiana", wherever that is:-)

AlanBoss,
It'd be funny if that wasn't the truth! But I think the Billy Idol version rocks!

Cheers

[Kev]

"It'd be funny if that wasn't the truth! But I think the Billy Idol version rocks!"

And besides, your dad would still get all the songwriter royalties from that one as well...

[Noob]

MSB, thanks for the tip. Unfortunately, I'm in Memphis and Vegas is a ways from here. But my folks got to see the Coasters live in a small venue in central Louisiana when I was a teenager. For once, I listened to them with rapt (not wrapped or rapped) attention. Hehe.

I have CD's of songs from most every era of known music, some not even Western (i.e. Europe/America).

My grandfather was a Cajun musician who recorded a couple of albums. Google "Cheese Read" if you are curious. Arhoolie records recorded his stuff. I'm even pictured in one of the booklets with one of his CD's.

Most of the Cajun/Zydeco musicians are either friends, relatives or schoolmates of mine.

You don't know the meaning of small world until you live in south/central Louisiana.

[U.O]

Noob -- not argufyin' ... just sayin' ... but from your narrative, it sounds as if "small world" (NO, NOT THAT SONG! THE OTHER KIND ...) in S/C Louisiana is a lot like the "small world" of folks from the Northern Great Plains ... so, I really do, sorta, know the meaning ... fun, ain't it?

[CandyT]

Okay - everybody who still owns vinyl from the '60s, raise your hand - er, well, raise something!

[Wavey]

*Raises hand*

I own lots of vinyl from the '60s.

One of my fave items is an original Magical Mystery Tour EP (UK Pressing), which came on two 45 RPM records containing three songs each, and included a story booklet.

And speaking of Tommy James & The Shondells, I also own a copy of "Cellophane Symphony" on vinyl.

[U.O]

ya best watch out, Wavey ... yer gonna make some of us jealous ...

[U.O]

... nah ... not "jealous" ... wanna keep this friendly ... "mildly envious" sounds a little more frleindlier ...

[southerngirl]

I might be a little late , but just wanted to say....

My most favorite (sorry, U.O.) aunt, my Aunt Jan, died in 1975, on her birthday, when I was 10. She was 19.

Anyway, years later, after begging for quite some time, my Granny, her mom, finally gave me her (Aunt Jan's) album collection. To this day, one of my most prized possessions is her "Johnny Rivers L.A. Reggae" album. It plays better than any other album I own, (and I own a few!), and better than any CD, also.

Ya can't beat vinyl. Scratchy sounds and all.

*sniffle*

[southerngirl]

Oh, and her younger brother, my only 5 years older than me uncle, used to take such pride in not letting me see his "Cheech and Chong" album..("Up in Smoke", probably), cause it had parfait papers inside.

Ahh, memories...

[Sherbert]

Wow ... I am so sorry to see my generation, as represented by our poor deluded DJ, so misrepresented. As a slightly off-kilter member of the scourge of the country, i.e, teenagers, I must profess my love for all things 60's, included but not limited to THE BEST of rock n' roll. Although I do have a soft spot for "Staying Alive" by the BeeGees. Mostly because no matter how many times I hear it, it remains impossible to determine the lyrics.

Just don't bust out the teen repellant alarm! I promise to leave the store premises. Jeez.

[AlanBoss]

Sherbert, As a child of the 60s/70s and a deep down disco hater, I confess that I too have a soft spot for "Stayin' Alive." I recently found a cover version by Ozzy Osborne and Dweezl Zappa that I am far less embarrassed to be caught listening to.

[Lauren]

Bwa--uh?
I'm 18, and I feel like I should apologize on behalf of my generation. Not all of us are that musically myopic. Just most of us.

Yet another reason I've actually thanked my parents for their "no teen radio station" rule when I was in grade school.

[Mike]

It don't mean a thing if it aint' got that swing... Oops, that is more dance from before the DANCE MUSIC FROM THE 1960's.

Was that DJ for real... I'm not all that old. Something is very wrong out there.

[DesertRose]

*is completely horrifed* I think that DJ was being completely moronic, but then he's a DJ. Keith Richards has more intact, undamaged brain cells that that guy. You're too nice, Dave. I would have laughed wickedly, waited for him to show up, and then beat him over the head with a frying pan until he agreed to play music I selected, ALMOST ALL OF WHICH WOULD BE FROM BANDS THAT STARTED BEFORE THE '70S! *puts on Jimi Hendrix's "Are You Experienced?" album* *does the frug* BTW, I'm under 25 and downright embarrassed at what a lot of people in my generation call "music", and yes, I own vinyl records from the '60s and '70s, Hendrix, Muddy Waters, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, Yardbirds, etc. I think the amount of good dance music from the Sixties was about equal to the amount of drugs available in the Sixties BEFORE Keith Richards and Aerosmith got their hands on them, and of course, we all know what a model citizen Keith is, and how he's never even tried drugs, and of course I have no idea why Aerosmith's Joe Perry & Steven Tyler are called the Toxic Twins. *snork* *Listens to 'Are You Experienced?''s title track backwards* Try _that_ with a CD.