FOR THE LITTLE GIRL ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST

My Little PonEEeeeeEEEEEeeee

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

Comments

[southerngirl]

If we get one for the blog, will it get rid of Twitney?

[ArcticAl]

I vote for the mime.

[gjcjax]

I'd like a mime for Christmas... for my ex-wife's present. It'd be nice to give her the silent treatment for a change :)

[Pirateboy]

I'd like to see a mini Al Gore doll, just to be able to say "Al Gore's gored"

All together now:
Green alligators and long-necked geese...

[TCK]

Everyone needs an imaginary unicorn friend that they can call forth to smite their enemies? Geez, my imaginary freind looks like Willie Nelson, eating a parfait. I can't imagine Willie smiting an enemy, let alone impaling a mime (NTTAWT)

[philintexas]

Okay, the boss is a given, the mime....good idea....but the new age lady?

[U.O]

IMHO there should be a "politician" figure, possibly with a face that might be colored or painted or decorated to represent a person's "favorite" ...

or ...

how about ... um ... your average garden variety TV weather person?

[southerngirl]

humpty-backed camels and chimpanzees....

[southerngirl]

Ok, TCK, you know I luv ya, but this is making me crazy. (I'm the spell police.) It's friend, not freind. That's ok, I'm sure it's the parfait talking. :D

[southerngirl]

Cats, rats & elephants, and sure as you're born....

Take it away, Pirateboy!

[KOW]

Therapy sold separately.

[U.O]

Therapy? Why?

What's wrong with someone wanting to ... um ... nevermind ...

[TCK]

sorry Southerngirl - the whole "i before e" theing has always been trouble for me - cuz it's a rule, except when an exception applies ("either, neither, leisure, seize, are exceptions, watch for these" serious junior high flashback goin' on) - either way, we can still be freinds, can't we?

[U.O]

" ... or when sounded as 'A' ... as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh' ..."

Sorry, TCK ... I useta teach Jr. Hi English ... just part of the flashback ...

[TCK]

all is forgiven, U.O., if you can explain why there isn't an exception for "friend" (not freind)

[Ellie]

So exactly how many of you also read Carolyn Hax's chat...?

[Jacki]

No one snorked at gjcjax, who was quite humorous, so please allow me to do so.

The rule is "I before E except after C and words that sound like way".

This makes, of course, absolutley no sense seeing as WAY doesn't have an I nor an E in it and the rule does not address the concepts of weird or their, neither of which have C's or sound like WAY.

Just for the record I would also like to point out that we are also lacking a rule on how to recall the correct spelling of rhyme and rhthym, neither of which is inherent in the English language.

[Jacki]

rhythm (I think) - damn, I almost had it.

[reneviht]

English is weird like that.

[TCK]

OK, so I gotta ask (since nobody else is) - who's Carolyn Hax, and why should we read her chat?

[reneviht]

I had always heard

"I before E
Except after C
Or in the Sound of an A
As in neighbor or weigh.

I've even seen an extended version that mentioned the exceptions for "seize" and I think a few of the others (it was in one of the books in the Imponderables series) but I don't remember it.

[TCK]

I learned the "either, neither, leisure seize" part from my 7th grade English teacher - I think the only reason I remember it after all these years is cuz she was SO HOT that I was hopelessly in love with her...

[U.O]

reneviht -- Yeah, English is weird like that ... glad you pointed it out, so I din't hafta ...

(I know, now at least one or six of vous are thinking ... "English teacher --- and he talks/writes like THIS????? OMGWTDBBQ!!! ... in defense of moi ownself ... that part of my expressionistic being is governed by my pleasureable experiences when I wrote a personal column for most of 17 years in the newspaper bidness ... it was fun, it was in the vernacular -- sorta -- and ... that "style" has spilted over into my fun on the blog ...)

Friend doesn't need an exception ... it follows the rule ... "i before e ..."

Their ... stems from the rule of "sounds like A, as in neighbor and weigh" because it derives from the archaic designation "they irr" which meant (in early English, which derived mostly from the Latin, with influences from the Celts, Druids, Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Kallikaks, Sessue Hayakawa and Ted Habte-Grabber) "they are ... or, they should be, at least ..."

Weird ... stems from that same "sounds like A" rule, since it, too, derives from a similar source, namely: "we irr" -- which, in turn, derives from
"we irr" -- again, from the Latin, some Greek, Aramaic, Coptic, Floptic, Moptic and Cottontailic, with minor inputs from Abbotic and Costelloic, Larryic, Moeic and Curlyic ...

Does that clear things up?

You're welcome.

You're ... stems from the WHACK!

Sound of nickels, dribbling out of ruptured sock, with a metallic clatter, onto the floor ...

All the rest is silence ... at last ...

[Jacki]

You gotta admit (to use the vernaular) that "vous etes" and "vos" is a lot easier to remember and understand than they're and their.

I think the Anglos were drink a might bit too much rotten hops when they began speaking....

[Jacki]

vernacular even - this is the problem with American, I can speak it but I damn sure can not (can't, cannot) spell it...

[reneviht]

Easier to understand, maybe. But it's easy to remember which one "they're" is; it's a contraction of "they are" like "it's" is a contraction of "it is." Contractionhood is signified by the apostrophe.
See, this is why all communication should be done with propositional calculus and set theory.
Oh, and the unicorn thing is cool. I should get one for my sister for chrismas.

[TCK]

U.O. - freind needs an exception, cuz I can't spell it correctly to save my life! If there was an exception, I could keep spellin' it the way I always do without annoying southerngirl...

[southerngirl]

U.O. and TCK ~ Tu est mon cher amis!

[U.O]

Oh, My Bad, TCK ... I thot you meant a general exception ... in the English teachers' trade, this is known as the "Spell it correctly, or just sit down and shut up" interpretation of the rule ...

HOWever, it seems to me that you're talking of a specifically genderized application type of exception, which is often hoped for in situations similar to what it is perceived that you seem to have placed your ownself ...

These exceptions are seldom granted, but given your blogness, pleasant attitude and overall good looks, in this instance I hereby grant you this exception ... it is a very powerful tool ... use it wisely, Cricket ... um ... Beetle ... um ... Ladybug ... um ... no ... GRASSHOPPER! That's IT! I gnu I'd dismember it ...

Use it wisely ... and only for good and honorable purposes ...

(You may send my bribery stipend to my home address ... Cash preferred, but gold, jewels, oil leases and Blue-Chip stock certificates also accepted.)

[TCK]

U.O. - I don't normally send cash by mail - my shipments are generally more, well, organic in nature - but due to the great and powerful nature of your gift, oh wise and poweful OZ (sorry, got carried away), I will make an exception as well...

[Jacki]

Et je, Southern Girl? Je ne suis pas assez bon pour être votre ami? Je suis sûr que vous avez oublié ainsi je vous pardonne, cette fois.

Just kidding. I just couldn't resist as I don't often get the chance to utilize my most ever so useful minor degree in French here in rural Kentucky...lol

[marlodianne]

Jacki: But French has a ridiculous number of irregular verbs. There ARE no regular verbs in French, it's a filthy lie sold by high school teachers who can't speak French and want to waste your time on pointless charts that will never be on the test.

(The test will ALWAYS feature never before seen irregular verbs.)

Also, French has irrational arbitrary gender, which is a sick sick thing occuring in several other languages. I want to know who in fook decided a 'chair' was female (thus 'une chaise'), or a 'dog'--every dog--is male (thus 'un chien). The only reason I can think of is inbreeding, loneliness, and lots and lots of 'alcool'.

[U.O]

OH!

Bless you, my child ... (figuratively, of course, on the filial offspring part of this phrase) ...

You are a wise and wonderful person ...

I'm just wonderin' a bit tho ... I thot it hadda be a real person's pix on the money ... ???

[Bumble]

southerngirl~ Guess PB wasn't listening.

...the loveliest of all was the Unicorn.

I want this for Christmas.

[southerngirl]

Jacki ~ tu est bon amie, aussi.

Dang, I didn't think I would have to take a test. ;)

[reneviht]

U.O.: It is a real person, if you consider who modeled for it.

[southerngirl]

"mon amie"

*maudit*

[Bumble]

Warum sprechen wir Französisch?

[TCK]

dang - busted on the faux (that's French, right?) million dollar bills! Fine, here's some cash with a real person's picture

[U.O]

L! O! L!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Tnx TCK! I needed that!

reneviht --

THAT WAS A TERRIBLE THING TO DO TO AN OLD PERSON!

I laughed even louder than I did @ TCK's !!!

Tnx muchly!!!

[Stupendous Man]

If you place the horn on the unicorn in a certain manner probably not mentioned in the official directions, he becomes My BIG Little Pony.

[TCK]

Stupendous Man: that's, well, it's just stupendous

[Ivory Bill Woodpecker]

I am amazed to be the first dude to point out that "Avenging Unicorn" WBAGNFARB!

Also: "Unicorns. Why did it have to be unicorns?"

[Ivory Bill Woodpecker]

Or would "Avenging Unicorn" be better as the title of a Spinal Tap album? An avenging unicorn would go well with the Stonehenge stage prop--the sizes would be roughly proportionate...

How can I leave this behind?...Ivory Bill Woodpecker

[queensbee]

well, avenging unicorn would also be wbagnfarb of course, and they could have really cool costumes, n'est ce pas?

[judi]

not to mention french has even more extra letters that aren't pronounced than english does. GEEZ. now spanish, that's a straightforward, essentially rule-driven pronounce-the-letters-this-way-every-time language. i love it.

[kibby F5™]

***ANNOUNCEMENT***

Today's "comments" isn't working! Get "Page not found".

... that is all.

[Bumble]

kibby~ Me, too.

[kibby F5™]

Seems Dave's taking advantage of the Florida Resident's Disney special and Goofie's "goofed" the Blog?

[Witchiecoo]

*aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!*
I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!

southerngirl:
"Tu es une bonne amie." or "Tu es mon amie" (referring to Jacki, 'cause I think she's a girl).
or "Tu es mon ami" (referring to one male)
"Il est mon ami."
"Elle est mon amie."
"Je suis ton amie." (cause, like, I'm a girl. 'k?)
"Vous êtes mes amis." (to TCK & U.O.... 'cause I think they're both male... and even if they're not, it's correct)

Ok. I'm done now. La Maîtresse de grammaire has left the building.

Je m'excuse infiniment de venter de cette façon. Mais mon père serait fier :)

[Mr. Completely]

Voulez-vouz fromage avec moi?

Okay, that's the extent of my French. Now, about English:

-Why do we call them "apartments" when they're all stuck together?
-Why do we call them "buildings" when we're already done building them? Why aren't they called "builts" (or "crumblings")?
-Why do we call the governmental body in charge of everything outdoors the Department of the Interior?

That's enough for now, dontcha think?

[U.O]

Witchiecoo!!! HI!

Whir yew bin?

Sprechen sie Irish?

(Or have I been sleeping at the keyboard?)

Mr. C ...

Dept. of "Interior" refers to the inside of the country, since we had the department of "State" to deal with the "Nation And Its Relationships With Other 'States' [Nations, Really]" which is really "Outside" the country ... and we useta had a Dept. of "War" but now it's "Defense" and we only useta had four Depts. like that, but I lost count when we got the benefits of about number 11 or 12 ... and we've got a Dept. of HUD ... which is NOT one for fans of Paul Newman, and I'm wondering why we've gotta have the government be in charge of creating slums, seems as if absentee landlords were doing okay by their ownselfs ... and ...

Well, government has even more exceptions to rules ... and silly ideas ... and odd departments ... than English (or French, or German) has ...

I dunno ...

[jamie the star wars nerdgirl]

NO ONE PICKED UP ON THE BARRY MANILOW-SINGING GNOME!!! you people are getting slack.

[southerngirl]

Voulez-vouz fromage avec moi?

*snork*

Witchiecoo, I am an excelant spellar in English, not in French. Merci.

[U.O]

Key quote, in the ad: Not for children under 3 years.

Nor for anyone else ... ?

HOWever, if one might be able to record whatever one wants to, you could always delete the BM and put Willie Nelson -- or Wynton Marsalis -- on there instead ...

(How would a trumpet sound on this, with its "altered" and "hysteria inducing" characteristics?)

[Mr. Completely]

U.O - uh... yeah. What you said.

[monkeyshines]

Did they get that Manilow Singing Gnome from the errotic gnome gardens in Germany?

[Ellie]

Carolyn Hax is an advice columnist for the Washington Post (where Dave's friend Gene is also a columnist) - and the blog item here (the Avenging Unicorn) was discussed in her chat a few hours before it was posted on this blog...

I mean, I know people steal from this blog and send stuff to Gene all the time, but this is a new twist.

[U.O]

I bet she did not (not Knot) have as funny of a running commentary as we've had here tho ... more intelligent, most likely, but not as funny ...

[reneviht]

I bet her commentationators didn't mention prepositional calculus, though.

[U.O]

Huh? Where?

(commentationators ... Definite Snork!)

[reneviht]

Woohoo! I won another snork! My long hunt is finally over!

[U.O]

well ... I gnu that, reneviht ... I just din't see your example of predicative cumulus on the first link, that's all ...

You're welcome for the snork ... I mean that sincerely ... I LOLed!

[Rene]

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