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December 28, 2005

ATTENTION, SINGLE WOMEN

If you've been feeling a strong urge to appear pathetic to all your friends, now there's a product for you!

(Thanks to DavCat14)

Clarification: Here you go.

Comments

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Huh?

I don't get it. Does that make me pathetic enough?

Apparently, it's wallpaper with a picture on it so you don't feel so lonely.

OTOH, if you got this, you would probably be too embarassed to ever have anyone over again serving to further exacerbate your loneliness.

Sarc' --

the word "exacerbate" ... um ... I don't get it ...

Is that what you use when fishing for exacers?

I have a teenage son, so I have no need for a picture of a non-moving male human. I have one almost permanently installed on the couch, except when the garbage needs to be taken out.

Well, the clarification explained ... somethin' ... sorta ...

HOWever ... I hate to be picky [No, he does NOT hate it ... he LOVES to pick at other faults! Mrs. U.O] but from the article, life-sized images of whoever or whatever you want ...

That should be whomever ... just sayin' ...

(No, she's really not here, but that's whut she'd say, if she were ...)

Now I get it, you could have a life size picture of Dave himself on your wall (exacerbating, if necessary) while a recording of "you're not pathetic, just stooopid" playing all the time.

The sad thing is I can already hear the cash registers going ka-chinngg! ka-chinngg! as lonely frauleins and madchens (where the hell did I put those umlauts?) begin to see another source of medication for their melancholy.

Stupe' --

Would that make them melancholy bebes ???

(Dang, that's not Deutsch, it's French ... sorta ... doesn't work here ... I gnu that!)

The perfect man for me. JUST in time for me to cancel my new subscription to a major online personals service.. www.too embarassed to say.com (rhymes with hatch?)

Judging from his hairstyle and the vinyl he's holding, this guy has been on that couch for well over 30 years. Just like being married...

If it came with double A's....it would probably be more popular...

I think I'll just keep hoping that something better comes along.

My German teacher is from Mainz.

Und, Andrea Baum must've gotten teased a lot in school. ("Baum" means "tree" in German)

Betsy, and then there's that orange shag carpeting.

Hey, how did those 70's pictures of me as a teenager end up there?

Long hair, orange shag carpeting, old LP player, cheesy art deco background. All that's missing is my black light posters and lava lamp.

"If you have a photo of a dream man, a dream woman...we can make it.”

Perfect for stalkers doing redecorating!

Didn't they also mention a dream dog?

davewallpaper. i like that. would keep me laughing. or, its just desperate. lets get the trading spaces people in there.

Would this mean that I have to remove the montage of over 1,000 photos of Jodie Foster (obtained from various newspaper and magazines) that populate one wall of my room?

Don't answer that, I was asking the voice that lives in my skull.

Personally, I'm flabbergasted that they are selling a CD with sounds of a vacuum cleaner and "someone in the bathroom". If I had known that I could make money by making those sounds, I would have retired a long time ago.

*flabbergast*

You know, these would actually be very good for families with very small children and one parent overseas for a long tour. When they are little they can forget people very quickly and it stinks for everybody when Mommy or Daddy *finally* gets home and is just a stranger who makes the baby cry.

Tom A.

hehehhehehe!

Time to buy that 2005 B Manilow calendar for Dave (yes, Barry) and have a few shots blown up to life-size.

Kind of got it.

www.stuffcougarslike.com

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