'TIS THE SEASON
...to have medical insurance.
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...to have medical insurance.
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I am SO glad I spent yesterday on the sofa.
Posted by: Leetie | November 26, 2005 at 09:50 AM
I actually spent a good portion of the day shopping.
Online. Away from the crowds. The only medical insurance I would need would be to cover the injuries received when I stood up, because of my legs and my butt falling asleep.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 26, 2005 at 10:02 AM
Why is that guy holding open what is probably an automatic opening door?
And am I the only one who does most Christmas shopping online to avoid the stampeding herds of 'supersized western people'?
Posted by: gjcjax | November 26, 2005 at 10:05 AM
LOL southerngirl, you beat me to the punch re: online shopping...
Posted by: gjcjax | November 26, 2005 at 10:09 AM
I'll be so happy when I'm not working a retail job anymore.
We have an M&M machine near the door in the store where I'm working. Yesterday a bratty little girl comes in with her mom. Whines to mom for M&Ms. Mom says no. The kid asked me if I had any change, and I said no. She scowled at me and said, "You should have change and give it to kids like me so we can get candy." *must not choke children. must not choke children. must finish college. must finish college.*
Posted by: Bumble | November 26, 2005 at 10:21 AM
Well, I went out shopping (in an actual, physical, in-my-body type experience) yesterday -- about 11 a.m. local time -- got my hair cut ... (all of them) ... then to get tix for the annual movie outing with the g'kids ... then to a Large Electronics Chain Store (not Fry's, they're not in our part of the country) where I got a couple of one MG & 512 memory cards for a BARGAIN price ... asked a store person where they were, and she said, "Right here," (in the basket she was carrying to re-stock ... and thru the lineup to pay ... took me about 18 minutes from parking in the lot until I was out the door ...
HOWever, I then went back inside to manipulate prices (special discount and reward points-type card payment, essentially, better than free final cost) on a non-sale, higher ticket item ... that actually took longer than the other, 'cuz no one knew how to work the rewards discount dealy ...
Then, on to a Large Chain bookstore, discount hardware & TOOLS place and renewal of a medical prescription ...
I was done! Total time: about four hours, including driving ... traffic wasn't even too terrible ...
Then it was back to the kid's place, and crossword puzzles until time for going to the movie ...
G'kids were Great @ the movie (Harry Potter) and then home to bed ...
Least Post-Thanksgiving-Stress-Syndrome I've had in years ... just sayin' ...
Posted by: U.O | November 26, 2005 at 10:24 AM
our family doesn't observe christmas anymore. it's a huge relief.
not to mention the joyous lifting of guilt and self-loathing associated with the construction of a solid wall of separation between yourself and god.
JU
(hoowee, is it getting hot in here?)
Posted by: Johnny Urinalcakes | November 26, 2005 at 10:38 AM
I did the frighteningly-early-in-the-morning-shopping the day after Thanksgiving ONCE. I don't care how deep the discounts, my dignity and comfort are worth much more than that to me.
My butt bonded with the sofa yesterday and I was one happy little camper.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 26, 2005 at 10:43 AM
*whistles and pretends she doesn't know JU*
Posted by: Leetie | November 26, 2005 at 11:01 AM
Pushing through the horde
Starting out the day
Through the crowd we gored
Elbowing all the way
Gotta get the sale
Gotta save a buck
What fun it is to beat and whale
And say "I don't give a ... "
Posted by: Goog L | November 26, 2005 at 11:09 AM
"Duck."
The missing word is "duck."
{Looks up at the sky, whistling.}
Posted by: Goog L | November 26, 2005 at 11:12 AM
I had a similar experience with Wal-Mart about 5 or 6 years ago. The advertised items were already taken upon entering the store the people were vicious and hovered over the sale items like crazy people. In the parking lot my husband and myself almost were run over by cars in the lot and people fighting over parking spots. I remember complaining to the store manager who didn't care one bit. The store then wasn't to open until 6:00am and the people were let in at 5:30am and all the sale items were gone with some people buying 20 and 30 of them. It was just RIDICULOUS.
Posted by: Theresa | November 26, 2005 at 11:26 AM
Theresa: That happened to me too. I'm crossing the parking lot and some guy hits the brakes and honks at me... I was like: WTD?!?! (a/k/a What The Duck - Fowl language courtesy of Goog L)
Posted by: gjcjax | November 26, 2005 at 11:51 AM
Theresa, gjcjax, that's happened to my mom yesterday at the PX.
After Mom walked over everybody to get into the PX, since she's taller and fatter than most people, and brought what she needed, and walked out of the store with her stuff to get to her car, without stepping on people this time, a guy honked his horn at her, so she gave him the finger, but he kept honking his horn at her, so mom left her cart, in front of his car, and walked over to him. The man then rolled down his window, and my mom punched him in the face, so he rolled his window back up.
Mom didn't go to jail this time, which was good, because she scared everybody over there the last time.
Posted by: Rockchild | November 26, 2005 at 12:06 PM
Sorry everybody, my grammer isn't always this bad, I was typing fast and making corections with my spelling.
Posted by: Rockchild | November 26, 2005 at 12:11 PM
No problem, Rockchild. But to quote a song, "That's one tough mama" :)
Posted by: gjcjax | November 26, 2005 at 12:16 PM
Wow Rockchild!! What a mom!! The best legacy I can leave my poor child is the memory of a house "full of books and dog shit,"( as he so lovingly says) We've all FELT like doing this...but...height, weight, (of the man) and fast escape routes usually bring one to one's senses. Your mother is a very brave woman.
As for the crowds, the favorite one the news is playing over and over is the one where the lady's wig falls off her head after she falls down. (Walmart) He main concern is putting it back on...NOT getting trampled to death..Needless to say, WalMart, now does not have to do any advertising the rest of the season.
Just imagine if that lady had been Dolly Parton, and her wig had come off? Would anyone have noticed? mmmmmmm...
Posted by: Novanglus | November 26, 2005 at 12:30 PM
*zips in*
A woman's wig fell off???? WTD???
I like our new *fowl* expression, and it goes quite well with BBQ!
WTDBBQ!! See.
Back on topic: Who wears a wig to a mosh pit anyway, which is what this sounds like.
As a Jewish person, I don't have to be part of this madness, thank goodness. And I do my Hanukkah shopping online - I love online shopping!
*zips out*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 26, 2005 at 12:30 PM
oooh, a simulpost with Novanglus AND on the same subject - wheee!
Posted by: Eleanor | November 26, 2005 at 12:32 PM
I can still remember the day I found out that my grandma wears wigs.
One day when my grandma went into her temporary coma it looked like she was staring at me, so I stared back. I then noticed for the first time that grandma has gray hair growing out of her ears, and that there was also something wierd about her hair, so I got closer to touch it, and it fell off! When that happened I yelled and grandma came out of her coma and said "I'm not death!". Grandma then got up and decided to leave, so my Mom called her a Taxi. When the taxi came I walked grandma to the door, gave her back her hair, and said goodbye.
I hope that never happens again!
Posted by: Rockchild | November 26, 2005 at 12:43 PM
We Canadians are far more organized than you Americans. We believe in truth in advertising, and save all this mad shopping, kicking, and punching for a much more appropriately named day: Boxing Day.
It also means that many of us have much of our Christmas shopping completed 364 days in advance.
Posted by: (_i_) | November 26, 2005 at 12:46 PM
My family didn't take part in that madness, thank goodness. My mother would have had to take us kids, and kids getting trampled was not considered a good trade-off for bargain sales. My grandparents wouldn't go if my mother didn't. My dad would drive over, see the chaos, and drive home.
And yet somehow, during Holidays 1982, I found myself the uncertain owner of a Cabbage Patch Kid ("Don't tell Grandmama, but this is the ugliest doll I've ever seen, Mommy").
Posted by: J who ought to be in NZ | November 26, 2005 at 12:47 PM
i dont dp the big sale things. just not worth it. and 'm boycotting walmart anyway --- low prices at the cost of chinese workers .. whoa. no sermonette. i did go to walgreens to pick up some bengay for my persnickety stiff neck.... bah humbug???
Posted by: queensbee | November 26, 2005 at 01:55 PM
*high fives queensbee on the boycotting thing*
Posted by: slyeyes | November 26, 2005 at 02:23 PM
"Thank you for the iPod, Daddy"
"You're welcome son, I hope you enjoy it- I had to beat up three old ladies, two guys my own age and a twelve year old to get it for you"
"Can I get an Xbox for my birthday?"
"I was just regular Army son, not special forces.. I'm sorry"
Posted by: Dave (not Barry) | November 26, 2005 at 02:37 PM
*high fives slyeyes for high fiving queensbee*
Posted by: Dave (not Barry) | November 26, 2005 at 02:39 PM
I bought a CD yesterday, but I was doing that anyway. And I sold people stuff, but it was my job. So technically, I avoided the madness.
Posted by: Alex | November 26, 2005 at 02:48 PM
*high fives everyone who's high fiving anyone else*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 26, 2005 at 03:52 PM
*joins in the high-fiving party because it beats doing a lit review*
Posted by: J who ought to be in NZ | November 26, 2005 at 03:54 PM
just popped in ta see what was goin' on - and found more high fivin' then at a high school volleyball tournament
Posted by: TCK | November 26, 2005 at 04:25 PM
Mrs. PirateBoy and I went to the 'maul' yesterday, around 9 am, long after the "good stuff" was supposed to have been swept up. Wrong. All that pushing and shoving! I really hope I didn't hurt anyone....
Highlight quote of the trip: We were at Sears (Slogan: Where America rots in line) trying to walk past the stalled checkout lanes back to the main doors at 11 am. A somewhat giddy employee was happily ripping down all the "doorbuster" sale signs, all the while chirping "I'm so glad that this morning is officially over!" Gee, all this time I thought mornings didn't end until noon.
Eleanor, being Jewish doen't grant you a hall pass from the mass marketers. Have you seen http://www.chrismukkah.org? They are even selling an *album" based on the "Chrismukkah" theme created by the teen-angst soap opera called "The O.C.". Not that I ever watched it ir anything, but why am I suddenly coveting a "Captain Oats" T-Shirt, available from the show's "insider" website? (And they only charge you $24.95 a year for 'Exclusive membership". Nope, W.C. Fields said it best: "I'd never join any club that would have me as a member,"
Posted by: PirateBoy | November 26, 2005 at 04:37 PM
*tries to figure out how to do this without embarrassment*
Er, PB, although I am a big Fields fan, he is not the source of your quote.
It is from Groucho Marx and goes like this:
"I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member."
Posted by: Goog L | November 26, 2005 at 05:18 PM
"What it appeared to do is adrenaline pumping and tempers flaring."
Oh.
Posted by: King Wingbipeekaboo Etc. | November 26, 2005 at 05:41 PM
hi-fives all the hi-fivers who are hi-fiv... uh .. shoot. (spikes a hi-five to TC;)
psa question
is anybody but me having trouble getting to the comments - sloooow load, etc. - had to go thru archives to get here. can't go up or down the "ladder", count not "upating" either. - Not griping judi! jus' askin!
(just the MB)
(looove WTD!..Very cute)
Posted by: cyn | November 26, 2005 at 06:04 PM
*#$%ZOT%$#*
Posted by: ~owwww~ | November 26, 2005 at 06:23 PM
*zips in*
It's' slow to "refresh" today.
*zips out to check out "Christmukkah"* eeekkkk!
Posted by: Eleanor | November 26, 2005 at 06:49 PM
*zips back in*
Yes, that was quick! As awful as Chrismukkah is, this is even worse:
Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah!
(same site)
Posted by: Eleanor | November 26, 2005 at 06:52 PM
we went to circuit city last night to buy some blank dvds that were on sale. surely that wasn't intended for the "christmas" audience, right? wrong. the very snotty clerks said those were gone by 6 a.m. (they opened at four!) and they don't give rain checks because they were just a limited-amount item meant to get people to the store to buy OTHER things, not an actual item they wanted to sell to actual normal customers of their store. (okay they didn't say that last part.)
Posted by: judi | November 26, 2005 at 07:03 PM
Bastards.
Posted by: King Wingbipeekaboo Etc. | November 26, 2005 at 07:07 PM
"Medical insurance....aisle 5, if you sign up in the next five minutes we will cover leprosy and butt-mange."
Posted by: insomniac | November 26, 2005 at 07:13 PM
*peeks in, quickly scans the posts*
*high fives everyone possible*
*leaves feeling sad for JU*
Posted by: Aunt Nancy | November 26, 2005 at 07:41 PM
*pops in*
*high-fives self*
*resumes reclining position on couch*
Posted by: Mr. Completely | November 26, 2005 at 09:26 PM
Is it too late to high five everyone here?
Bumble ~ you must not choke children.
U.O. ~ weren't you supposed to get a haircut from your daughter, or sumthin'? Just askin', cause you look different, now.
JU ~ feel the heat. Sorry for the earworm. And sorry for you.
Goog L ~ I would comment, but I don't give a duck.
Rockchild ~ I don't know who scares me more, you or your mama.
Dave (not Barry) LOL
Can you tell I've been gone all day? You people are crazy. That's why I hang out here!! :)
Posted by: southerngirl | November 26, 2005 at 09:34 PM
southerngirl~ I know, but they make it so tempting!
*high fives all around because I didn't have many brats in my line tonight*
*adding JU to my prayer list whether he likes it or not, but I'm going to have to snork every time I say Johnny Urinalcakes to the Lord*
Posted by: Bumble | November 26, 2005 at 10:09 PM
Bumble ~ don't you work in a nursery? Plants, that is, not daycare? Do you have that many brat..uh, I mean, kids there?
Posted by: southerngirl | November 26, 2005 at 10:16 PM
And, I need something to put on my upstairs table, facing the east, with not too much light. Any suggestions?
Nothing that involves worm poop, please.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 26, 2005 at 10:18 PM
*peeks in*
*sees all the high-fiving*
Hey! Did we win a championship or something?
Posted by: slyeyes | November 26, 2005 at 10:34 PM
southerngirl~ The greenhouse is mostly spring and summer work; sometimes a little into the fall. Right now I'm working at a dollar store till they start up planting again.
Some houseplants that can tolerate low light: Boston Fern , Philodendron , Mother-In-Law's Tongue (also known as snake plant), Spider plant , Ivy (as long as it's houseplant type; not ground cover), Wandering Jew . Those are all foliage plants. If you want a bloomer, African Violets are nice.
Posted by: Bumble | November 26, 2005 at 10:34 PM
Those are just a few common ones; there are lots more. If you have a local greenhouse, just ask for houseplants. And anything that's properly tagged should tell you what kind of light/water/soil it requires.
And, yes, we get a lot of kids at the greenhouse, too. But the patrons there are usually of a... how shall I say it? A higher caliber. They usually keep their kids in line. Usually.
Posted by: Bumble | November 26, 2005 at 10:39 PM
I really go for the more antisocial plants. The ones who don't care where you put 'em or if you gave them water this month or if you ever wash their leaves. Only no cacti, since I once sat on one as a child. (Friggin' OUCH!)
So, anyway, Bumble: Are any of those plants Tamara-resistant?
Most of my plants last about a month. I've had one plant for nearly three years, but that one was a gift and I have no clue what it is. It seems to be the slobbery mutt of the plant world; it loves me no matter what I do to it.
Why am I:
1) still awake? and,
2) rambling about my horticultural history?
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | November 26, 2005 at 10:54 PM
a popular thingy in so.cal. at present, is to use
bamboo or "dumbcane" in a vase with a few lil rocks and a betta (lil fishy wit attitude) got a few. they do very well in weak light and are very striking.
Posted by: just sayin' | November 26, 2005 at 11:00 PM
southerngirl -
Yep, got a trip from Daughter #3 ... for free ... (of course, we raised her, fed her, put shoes on her, sent her to school, clothed her, nagged her, din't whip her, paid her for the chores we agreed upon, helped bail her out of jail, helped her when she needed a car ... the usual stuff ...
In return, what do we get?
Two great grandkids, lotsa love, a place to sleep that's cheaper and quieter than the 220+ nights a year I spend on the road, whatever's in the fridge when we visit, lotsa hugs and apparently what passes for filial love ... um ... what am I forgetting ... OH YEAH! Free haircuts!!!
Posted by: U.O | November 26, 2005 at 11:13 PM
... um ... make that a "trim" ... not a "trip" ...
Posted by: U.O | November 26, 2005 at 11:14 PM
... um ... not that I'm ignoring the other three of our F1 generation ... you asked about the haircutter ...
BTW, on the subject of cutting hair, my oldest granddaughter got hers cut ... took about 12" off and is sending it to Locks of Love ... (She's gonna be 12 in February ...)
Posted by: U.O | November 26, 2005 at 11:18 PM
oh hey, TRWC! (din' preview agin)
any of the plants on Bumble's list of houseplants should do great! (tho' i managed quite nicely to ruin an ivy and all attempts at african violets)
the plant/fishy combos do require a bit of attention;)
i love this guy - loren's page. peek around the page y'all. lotsa neat, timely stuff!
hi U.O!
Posted by: cyn | November 26, 2005 at 11:28 PM
Thanks, all of you. I've been going crazy not being able to have plants upstairs, but the upstairs window has been boarded up since Aug. 20 something, (right before Katrina), and hubby just took it down this weekend. (We had to get a scaffold, and an extension ladder, yeah, wah, wah,wah.)Anyway... tomorrow, it's off to the nursery I go!
U.O, glad you had a good trip, and BRAVO to your grandaughter! Tell her she's the coolest!
Posted by: southerngirl | November 26, 2005 at 11:47 PM
Tamara~ Get an aloe. Very hard to kill. A succulent in a cacti-type family, but no prickles to speak of. Useful, too. Raw aloe is great for burns. I hear "Bea! Run up and cut me off a piece of aloe!" a lot when mom's cooking.
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love my aloe plants, and "Bea", your mom probably doesn't read this, does she? :)
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 12:07 AM
tnx sg ... I think she's pretty much the world, my ownself ...
Hi Cyn ... how's the weather out there? I was tolerating the stuff in Fargo, but sorta secretly smug about the fact that I'm flying back out there tomorrow ... but I tried not to gloat about it too much ... at least I shouldn't until I'm outta reach of sox full of nickels and such ...
Posted by: U.O | November 27, 2005 at 12:08 AM
And, btw, Tamara, I love the plants "who don't care where you put 'em or if you gave them water this month or if you ever wash their leaves." Yet, mine still seem to survive, which is another reason my mother-in-law doesn't like me very much! Like she needs another reason.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 12:10 AM
southerngirl~ Nope. But in case she decides to start tonight, she's an excellent cook and I love her dearly. And that's the truth. :-)
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 12:10 AM
I'm a little late posting tonight 'cause I pulled a hamstring trying to high five everyone earlier. It doesn't hurt much, though, because of the shrapnel wound I suffered at Walmart's Stupor Center Friday morning while running interference for a Swedish buddy to gain access to the computer area to purchase a laptop on sale for $488. It turns out they only had 30 of the thingies in stock, and they were all gone before the automatic doors were completely open. I had to doodle chop a blue-haired Walmart greeting lady, who had a steely glitter in her good eye, just to be allowed to leave the store without a purchase in hand. In the melee I lost track of my friend but think I heard someone scream "Mama!" in a Teutonic accent just before I reached the parking lot. I've organized a search party with GPS tracking devices and fully automatic paint ball guns to try to break him out. We'll be attacking at dawn through the automatic door on the east side of the store, hoping the enemy won't be able to recognize us with the sun in their eyes.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 12:19 AM
SM~ *snork*
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 12:23 AM
Bumble, shame on you for *snork*in' after midnight.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 12:40 AM
Stuman .. Snork!
(n y'all quit pickin' on B. it wuz only about 10-11 thirty there!!)
U.O .. it's frikkin' freezin' out here .. musta dropped below 70f .. bring thick socks!
Posted by: jus' silly | November 27, 2005 at 01:08 AM
:-P
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 01:08 AM
cyn~ Actually I'm on the same time as the blog clock.
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 01:09 AM
OK...stupendous man might try putting on a wig and going to K-MART tomorrow, where if he gives high fives to everyone there, he MIGHT be able to score his laptop, and pick up a aloe plant on sale to send to southengirl.
Rockchild, I wish some of MY relatives would go into comma's..tell me your secret.
Eleanor...I have only two words....medical plants. (how's that for staying on subject)
My ancestors are from Braintree, Wales, and that's why I have trouble with subjects...they named a tree after someone's lost brain. I WANTED to be Jewish really bad, since according to the book "the Bell Curve" THEY score the highest on all IQ tests of all humans, but my Father and mother INSISTED I be a mutt. (see there I go again....can't be helped)
Hey, maybe I you guys could teach me how to "SNORK"?
Posted by: Novanglus | November 27, 2005 at 01:15 AM
But I have to learn to read first.
Posted by: Novanglus | November 27, 2005 at 01:18 AM
Didn't Patsy Cline sing "*Snork*in' After Midnight?"
Actually, Cyn, I wasn't picking on anyone. I was just trying to keep the blog alive late at night. The last time I was in Cal, it got so cold one night that when I rolled over in bed, I rolled on something hard. It was egg shaped and about the size of a hen's egg. When I switched on the bedside light I could see it looked semi-clear but smoky. As I held it up close to the lightbulb, it just went (and I quote) "pblfft!" Yep, it was the only frozen fart I've ever seen.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 01:19 AM
I HATE shopping. Ask anyone in my family, I can get ALL my shopping done at Fred Meyer (aka Kroger for those of you not here the great PNW) in about 1 hour. Granted it ain't all the best stuff but at least I don't hafe to suffer the slings and arroews of the MallStalkers. And although I may have mentionited it here earlier this eveining I have been partaking of a particular malt beverage and I can't type worth a duck. I just got tired of backspacing and fixing stuff. Blahblahblah ramble ramble ramble. Mwee!!!
Posted by: Mrs Swooshman | November 27, 2005 at 01:20 AM
Mrs S, I hate shopping so much, I even buy my clothes in a blisterpak. There's much to say, all positive, for malt beverages.
And Novanglus, we don't rate a Kmart in my neck of the woods. Besides, I lost my wig in the mad dash from Walmart Friday morning. According to onlookers, when the wig came off, the glare startled the Walmart folksturmjaegeren into believing someone had fired a mortar round, so they goosestepped to the rear of the store.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 01:35 AM
SSSSsssssshhhhhh!
Don't say that "freezin' ... gettin' down to 70 tonite" where My Bride (Remember Her?) can hear it ... she's asleep right now, but our thermometer says 30.4 degrees, Fahrenheit, as I enter this ... and that's pretty decent, for the last few days ...
By 6 p.m. tomorrow, approximately, I'll be back in the land of warmth @ Ontario and going to get my truck to check in @ Pico Rivera ... until our Christmas break ...
It may have earthquakes, gangland drive-by shootings, wildfires and mudslides, but I gotta grant you ... it's warmer than home ...
Posted by: U.O | November 27, 2005 at 01:43 AM
Well, it looks like everyone's gone to bed, so I guess I'll just turn on the TV and watch a rerun of the famous episode of The Waltons where John Boy takes a shower and discovers he's John Man.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 01:45 AM
SM .. ooo, pass you the butter cause you are on a roll!
Novanglus, forgive me in advance .. can't stop m'self.
"Hey, maybe you guys could teach me how to "SNORK".
of course .. you just pinch your nostrils together, and blow!
Posted by: mebbe that needed work | November 27, 2005 at 01:53 AM
Time for a comment or two before the late movie starring Lex Barker and Maureen O'Sullivan called Tarzan's Bar Mitzvah begins.
Novanglus, it's impossible to teach someone to *snork*. *Snork*ers are born, not made. No doubt you've *snork*ed before, probably back when you were just a little Nova, and you've subconsciously prevented your adult Novanglus persona from enjoying a full blown *snork*. You just have to free your inner child and you'll soon be *snork*in' like a warthog in heat. I hope this helps. Now back to the movie; I don't wanna miss the part where Tarzan gives the witchdoctor a hickey.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 02:08 AM
My goodness - who gave Stupe Man all the eggnog? Usually I'd have a few more oddly unusual yet amusing comments, but I think I pulled a humor muscle putting our overly stupendous yet incredibly huge Christmas tree into place. Dang thing must be 15 feet tall. 3 hours of tipping levers and flying my buttresses. I'm so sore it even hurts to type. The letter "q" (ouch!) seems to hurt the most. Pain meds kicking in - going back to sleep.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 27, 2005 at 03:56 AM
Time for a few more quick comments before tonight's double feature, In Cold Blood followed by Dracula Freezes His Tonsils Off (starring Suck the Wonder Bat) begins. A W-but-h, remember the first rule of Christmas trees, groceries and lovers:
Never bring one home that won't fit through the front door.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 04:23 AM
*enters StupeMan's rule in her Palm Pilot*
I brought my Christmas tree home yesterday and it fit in the trunk along with the groceries and Poinsettias. Alas, I didn't bring home a lover. The stores were all out. They told me some wigless woman with one good eye got the last one; and he was last year's model and irregular at that.
And as far as the tree, I'm downsizing this year. It's a three foot tall rosemary plant and is sitting on my coffeetable decorated with little red bows.
*****
and apparently Nava has deemed this post to be malicious as he/she/it is making me wait to post it.
It's not malicious............YET!!
Posted by: slyeyes | November 27, 2005 at 08:33 AM
sheesh!
Posted by: slyeyes | November 27, 2005 at 08:34 AM
SM~ Thank you for that nice simile about snorking. Now I never want to snork again. Ugh.
Posted by: Bumble | November 27, 2005 at 09:39 AM
U.O - The temp here in La La Land is dropping - it's in the low 60s, with lots of wind. Bring your mittens.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | November 27, 2005 at 09:54 AM
S-man ~ *snork, snork, and snork* Oooh, that hurt.
I'll be waiting for my aloe vera to arrive. Maybe I can sit outside on my swing to wait. No, maybe not. After all, it's 70 degrees here. *shiver* I may even have to wear shoes. Nah.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 10:51 AM
'round here, folks sometimes gather up a couple of tumbleweeds and decorate them instead of Christmas trees. Don't know why-they've got lots of little prickles on them that are much worse than pine needles.
Sorry, the above is true, but not funny. It's cold here and my brain is frozen. Maybe I should pour the coffee directly into my ears instead of this wimpy sippin' at it.
Posted by: Artchick | November 27, 2005 at 11:01 AM
Southerngirl, I faxed you that aloe vera. Didn't you get it? If not, I'll have to put a trace on it with FaxPol. Is it a porch swing?
And Slyeyes, I hope you enjoy your rosemary Christmas tree. I'm not having a Christmas tree this year after what happened when the dog shorted out last year's model. For your Palm Pilot, here's another rule: Never drink an alcoholic beverage (think eggnog) heavier than you can lift. As for the "lover," you can probably build your own from parts you already have lying around the house.
Bumble, do not give up the right to *snork*! And remember, he/she/it who (not [not knot, naught, gnawed or gnaw it] whew, hew or Hugh) *snork*s last, *snork*s best.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 11:15 AM
SM, Nah, I don't want to assemble anything from what's lying around here. Any parts that are left are too old and rusted. I want something new and shiny.
Oh, something just triggered my memory; I need to take out the garbage.
Posted by: slyeyes | November 27, 2005 at 11:26 AM
Slyeyes, around here (SoFla), if you forget to leave something out for the garbagemen, they leave something for you. Many is the time I've run after them yelling, "Hey! You dropped your used Pamper!" But I digress. Oooh, look! Something shiny! Now I can build a lover!
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 11:41 AM
Stupe and Slyeyes - just don't end up like that poor shmuck of a kid who was arrested for trying to have sex with a mannequin. That would be bad.
Posted by: Mr. Completely | November 27, 2005 at 12:16 PM
The getting arrested part would be bad, or the whole concept? I'm taking notes for future reference.
Posted by: Artchick | November 27, 2005 at 12:45 PM
SM, I forgot to check my faxes. I was too busy swingin' on my porch (patio, really) swing. With my eggnog (beer, really.) Did I mention I wasn't wearing shoes? :)
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 12:46 PM
Artchick ~ I'm going with the whole concept.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 12:47 PM
Artchick, there won't be a quiz, so forget the notes. Anyhow, you can always come back to the blog if you need an update.
Mr C, mannequins are so passe! This year it's androids.
Southerngirl, no shoes? No problem. No shirt, a different story. I don't care what Kenny Chesney says. And beer? Are you conducting a study?
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 12:54 PM
SM, I don't know about Kenny C., but I usually do wear a shirt outside. Some people might be distracted, otherwise. And a/b the beer - a study? No, I'm not.....oh, yeah! A study! Riiight.
Posted by: southerngirl | November 27, 2005 at 01:05 PM
Study on, Southerngirl!
BTW, I'll be absent from the blog for a few hours. I have to take my inflatable girlfriend to Palm Beach. She says she needs a change of air.
Posted by: Stupendous Man | November 27, 2005 at 01:37 PM
Hey you snorkers finnally went to bed?
OK...tell me if I get it...
A snork is like like what Lily Tomlin used to do when she would pick up the phone and say..
"one ring a dinie" snork.
Or when someone is telling a joke and you are drinking, and you can't control it, so your drink comes out of your nose and your mouth all at the same time because you did NOT have time to swallow and you spit your drink over anything within 7 ft?
I'm also hoping that a good snork would come from SM if he was actually sitting on the porch with southergirl and she took off her shirt....
yes, my little shit Zulu (you look it up) snorks every night because her little nose is too small after years of genetic tampering...vet says we could "snip" but, I actaully enjoy the sound of the snork.
Can you snork under water? Please give me futher examples of the "snork" so I can get a clearer picture....I'm not SURE I've got it.
Posted by: Novanglus | November 27, 2005 at 04:09 PM
looks like you got it, N.
but, just sayin', if you attempt snorking under water, please be wearing scuba gear;)
Posted by: cyn | November 27, 2005 at 06:15 PM
"all your snorks are belong to us!"
Posted by: LTTG | November 27, 2005 at 06:20 PM
Personally, a snork is what happens when something is so funny there isn't enough time for a laugh to form. Doesn't necessarily have to involve food or drink, though in some cases it's unavoidable.
Novanglus, I think you've got the gist of it. Snork on!
Posted by: Dux | November 27, 2005 at 06:32 PM
Sandra Bullock snorked a lot in that movie in which she played Gracie Lou Flatbush, the undercover beauty contestant.
Posted by: Sondra | November 27, 2005 at 08:16 PM
*zips in*
The Lily Tomlin description is perfect.
That's all.
*zips out*
Posted by: Eleanor | November 27, 2005 at 08:27 PM