Dave Barry's Blog: HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

November 28, 2005

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to Jim Weisz

Posted by judi on November 28, 2005 at 04:20 PM | Permalink

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They found that the success rate of the jabs was only 8% in women - meaning that 23 out of 25 women did not receive an injection into the muscle. In men, the success rate was 56%.

8% effective? So why are they injected into the rear at all? Why not inject it into another part of the body that has muscle, such as the arm or leg?

Posted by: reneviht | November 28, 2005 at 04:25 PM

Ew.

Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | November 28, 2005 at 04:25 PM

One obvious solution here is (*shudder*) longer needles.

Posted by: Brainy Jello | November 28, 2005 at 04:29 PM

Not so sure I'd volunteer to have an air bubble injected into me...an excellent way to end up dead.

Posted by: hermespal | November 28, 2005 at 04:31 PM

Somebody cue up a Queen album!!!

*goes off singing, "Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round..."*

Posted by: Mr. Completely | November 28, 2005 at 04:36 PM

Get on your bikes and ride!

Posted by: (Freddy) Mecury Rising | November 28, 2005 at 04:38 PM

Fat Bottomed Girls,etc.

Posted by: southerngirl | November 28, 2005 at 04:38 PM

Sorry, Mr. C! Your comment wasn't showing when I posted. Great minds, huh? Or something.

Posted by: southerngirl | November 28, 2005 at 04:39 PM

Southerngirl - a sick mind is a terrible thing to waste.

High-five to (Freddy) Mercury.

Posted by: Mr. Completely | November 28, 2005 at 04:40 PM

Does this mean if I would need to tranquilize - oh, let's just say a pop star - I need a really big dart?

Posted by: monkeyshines | November 28, 2005 at 04:42 PM

monkeyshines - you would need a 'pop dart.' One that would really make her sing.

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 28, 2005 at 04:50 PM

Oh there are just so many places I could go with this, most of them totally inappropriate.

Posted by: Kilmeny | November 28, 2005 at 04:54 PM

The pharse 'bottom jabs' has be giggling like mad. AGNFARB maybe?

Posted by: KOW | November 28, 2005 at 04:55 PM

LOL @ monkeyshines and Annie!

Posted by: southerngirl | November 28, 2005 at 04:58 PM

You could always hire a lawyer to sue the doc for not administering your meds properly and for accusing you of being fat. Of course, first you'd probably have to pay a 'rock bottom retainer.'

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 28, 2005 at 05:06 PM

More scientific research...35 million people with skin have eczema (courtesy of a banner ad). More research needed to determine how many people without skin have eczema (my twisted brain).

Posted by: monkeyshines | November 28, 2005 at 05:22 PM

Nurse: Isn't it fatal to inject a patient with an air bubble?

Doctor: Normally, but since this patient has a big bottom, that won't be a problem. You'll see on the CT scan.

Nurse: But she's not breathing.

Doctor: Huh. Boy those pants sure made her butt look bigger than it was. My bad.

Posted by: slyeyes | November 28, 2005 at 05:37 PM

We've got to get to the bottom of this!

Cosmo "The A$$man" Kramer

Posted by: Cosmo Kramer | November 28, 2005 at 06:48 PM

The butt patrol has struck once more. Here you are not worrying about your body,and someone interested in your health and well-being throws another brick.
Pretty soon insurance companies will insist two lines form in the offices and clinics. The BB line for big butts and the LB line for little butts. Not that this will cause any harm to the egos of the nurses who love to direct patients. You can hear them now:
No,Ms.Jones you're no longer a LB person.

Posted by: william cormeny | November 28, 2005 at 06:55 PM

So NOW will all the fat butts in the world stop looking for excuses to remain fat and lose the blubber? No, prob. not. They will continue to justify their obesity.

Posted by: Dr. Doug | November 28, 2005 at 07:26 PM

Jabba the Butt ... wasn't he somebody in a Star Wars movie?

Posted by: U.O | November 28, 2005 at 07:32 PM

"I AM big. It's the britches that got small."

Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 28, 2005 at 08:10 PM

"The Butt Patrol" WBAGNFARB!

Also: Kilmeny, don't let inappropriateness stop you--this is DAVE's blog, after all.

Posted by: Ivory Bill Woodpecker | November 29, 2005 at 01:35 AM

Somehow the images of the testing sequence is quite disturbing. Obviously there's some things that short needles can't touch.

Posted by: kibby F5™ | November 29, 2005 at 06:47 AM

*snork*

Posted by: js | November 29, 2005 at 07:08 AM