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November 23, 2005


But be careful.


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Ahhh, eau de Grandma's House....



Whaddya mean I'm fine! I'm just...acckkekadahhhhggg!!!!

shhhh - house full of in-laws - trying not to attract attention - damn, the monther-in-law noticed me not participating in the stimulating conversation...


Also, even though I have ''poked some fun'' at Mr. Dan Rather, I sincerely believe he is a great journalist and a credit to his home planet.


I love you, Dave! (Okay, and so does everybody else here.)

Happy X-giving, everyone! ;)

OK, I meant mother-in-law...or is that monster-in-law? shhhh

Don't forget the dreaded desert that no one wants, but which some family memeber thinks is a tradition and that everyone else loves it, so makes.

I tried to read the column, but the elephant kept flying in front of the text.

Surprisingly, it wasn't pink.

I should have the milk that just came out of my nostrils cleaned up any second.

OMG, does this mean that Dave has gone back to his day job? I had to do that once myself. Of course, I didn't have Pulitzer prize money to fall back on or a generator to keep my house powered or an oosik to play with, so the need was a bit more urgent at the time, I'm sure. But Dave, you'll soon find that the grind of the day job truly blows and you'll find a way to make the entrepreneur thing work. You have to. Necessity is one ... harsh ... mother. So said one of our Floundering Fathers. Happy Thanksgiving Pilgrim!

Brad~ Hate to disappoint you, but that column was posted last year.

And it's still just as funny. We love you Dave! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! And don't fill up on cheez-its beforehand; you'll ruin your appetite. ;-)

Gobble Gobble everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Ahhhh. (Re)reading Davewerks is like getting a drink of water after being parched.

Happy Turkey Day to everyone - smokers and astronomers, too.

Happpy Thanksgiving to Dave and his family, judi and her family and all blogits!

I wanted to add a special thanks to Dave and judi for providing us with so much great entertainment here but I've taken vicodin and I forgot too....

my bad...

TNX everyone for a blogging great year! As a token of my appreciation, here's my recipe for Holiday Rum Cake. All you'll need is one Graham Cracker and a quart of Bacar...WHACK!!! Thanks. I needed that.

Is it superfluous to note that "Meat Bomb of Death" would make a great name for a rock band? Or at the very least, a made-for-CBS TV movie?

Apparently, this does not mean that Dave is coming out of hiatus (or myatus, or anyone else's atus for that matter). Apparently, in his advanced age, he has decided to spread his comedic cheer by posting links to amateur films of kids lighting bottle rockets in their arses. Which Dave do I like the best? It is really a tough call. Dave, can your kid write or was he scarred for life by the weinermobile? Then we could have the breast of both whirleds again.

Hey, Brad, you just stepped in a great idea. Dave won't have to work again. Ever! Many of his adoring readers are entering the 'senior moment' portion of their (not mine) lives. Just rerun the good stuff - we love leftovers. If it bothers you, just tweak it a little each year (the column, not um...never mind).

And you can even take credit for this idea because I probably won't remember telling you about it. Happy Alzheimers' Awareness Week....again.

Truly, though, Happy Thanksgiving to all. Thanks for making me laugh, and reminding me that there (not here) are people just as comedically-challenged as I am.

Well, after one of those killer turkeys (it was a close call), we decided to go away for Thanksgiving to a little "resort " in the Pocanos. Took the kids when they were little and now the spousal unit and I go by ourselves,leaving our 19 year old to deal with the realities of life (she doesn't cook). A nice deal - no in-laws, no leftovers and no worrying about whether anybody will die from the turkey.

Yes, the sign of a true artist is how long his works last...I was reading Mark Twain this morning..and like the great Mark Twain, it doesn't matter what Dave writes...it will be in the Archives of our National Treasury..along with Twain and be just as pertinant in 3005 as it is today. Dave has only begun his best work. (If he can stay away from Tasers and pythons)

As for the rest of us....We are blessed for all the sloppy seconds, all turkeys born to run.

Thanks, Dave, for the guffaws, chuckles, chortles, hoots, and various belly-laughs you provide; thanks to both Judi and Dave for the fun here on the Blog; and thanks to all you bloglets, blurkers, and blunderers (you know who you are) for the camaraderie. I'm a better person for having found this place and you folk, and I'm thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all, and for those not in this great country, well, neener neener.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in blogland. Dave, BULLETINS make me laugh, Judi, Brandon makes me sigh, and Bloglits, you all make me snork.

Of course I have to add that last year and again this year Dave's articles have made me think of my best friend's continuing turkey mishaps. When she was a new bride and wanted to impress her husband's family she stuffed the turkey so much that it turned into a WMD in the oven (bright side no one had to carve). A couple years later wanting to give a newly arrived immigrant a picture perfect American Thanksgiving dinner she put the turkey back in the oven to keep it warm. The trick was it was on a plastic platter and the platter melted sticking to the bird. This Thanksgiving she pulled the turkey out to thaw and it flew out of her hands landing on her foot. We don't think she's broken anything.

Earwig alert: Hum "Home for the Holidays"

Oh, there’s nothing like naps for the turkey-dazed,
‘Cause no matter how hard and fast you run

When you long to grab a weapon, perhaps a loaded gun,
For the holidays, you can’t beat puns, sweet puns.

I met a man who lived in a moble home,
and he was blogging for,
20 hours and a wife he used to know.

From Miami folks are travelin’
To their local liquor store

From Atlantic to Pacific,
With no hurricanes, that's terrific.

Oh there's nothing like naps for the turkey-dazed
‘Cause no matter how hard and fast you run

When you long to grab a weapon, perhaps a loaded gun,
For the holidays, you can’t beat puns, sweet puns.

Crash a bus, steal a train
Go and hijack an aeroplane
Stash the wife and kiddies in the family car
Nothing good you know will come
When you make those dreadful puns
No trip could seem that far.

I met a man who lived in a moble home,
and he was blogging for,
20 hours and a wife he used to know.

From Miami, folks are travelin’
To their local liquor store,
From Atlantic to Pacific,
Pirateboy's puns are horrific.

Oh there's no place like naps for the turkey-dazed
‘Cause no matter how hard and fast you run

If you want to be *snorked* at in a million ways,
For the holidays,
You can’t beat puns, sweet puns.

For the holidays,
You can’t beat puns, sweet puns.

Happy Turkey Day!

"2. Inside you will find a mess of stringy, stanky, slimy pumpkin innards. Scoop these out and discard them."

"stringy, stanky, slimy pumpkin innards" WBAGNFARB

I would just like to thank all of you for encouraging PirateBoy's tendencies toward puns and bad verse.

It's like living with a Vogon who's had too much sugar.

She's right. Shortly after we were married, my wife introduced me to this blog. My life quickly went from bad to verse.

And I must say that you are some of the funniest people I've never met.

But Mrs. PB, PB makes us giggle, snort, chuckle and spew.

"Giggle, snort, chuckle and spew" WBAGNFA barbershop quartet.

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