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November 28, 2005


Ever wonder whether it's possible to open a padlock by shooting it, the way they're always doing in the movies? Well wonder no more.

(Via Gizmodo)


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That looks like fun! I want to try it!

I've always found that a "key" seems to work fairly well. Just sayin'.


I was very impressed with the scientific way he went about his research...maybe a guy with too much time on his hands, but a true-blue GUY nonetheless. I salute him (wait don't shoot!!!! Aieeeeeee......)

sigh....not first.

Fed, I'm sure a key would work, but it would be BORING!

Now THAT'S meaningful research. Guys, guns, and time - only thing missing was the beer. Maybe that's why no one got hurt.

Or how about when they beat the locks with the bottom of a fire extinguisher and they open up ?

Ain't retirement great?

*Hopes Dave will return to writing humor columns after his hiatus, and not go to a the sad world of retirement.*

I suppose he's going to have the hasp of the lock mounted onto a tiny, polished slab of oak and hung up over the fireplace right next to the antlers..

That's another thing I love about this blog. It's so educational.

Wow. I'm impressed. I'd actually wondered about that myself, but it would never have occurred to me to research it because I hate explosions and can't shoot a gun.

Still, part of me was thinking "Oh, those poor locks, getting shot at like that."

*goes off to be bored in Reference class.*

locks have feelings, too.

Now we know why Doc Holliday carried a shotgun at the OK Corral.

Believe it or not, I have some experience with this. A friend had an old shed out in the sticks locked up with a padlock, the key to which was lost at about the same time the Magna Carta was being signed.

Three shots with a 9mm didn't get it done; the slugs just dented the lock, flattened out and fell off. When a pry bar and a several strategic strikes with a framing hammer also failed, we ended up cutting the door out and building a new one. We also ended up drinking beer.

(Disclaimer: the beer consumption was preceeded by the storage of firearms.)

If I ever go to war again, I'm gonna wear a suit made out of locks (not lox).

Living at/around the homebase of Master Lock, I can still remember the commercials showing a shot fired at the middle/center/whatever of the lock.

Thinking about this recently though, and not to "dis" the local company, but if you wanted to shoot a lock off, wouldn't you aim for the thinner, pipe-like hasp, than the thicker part of the lock?

But I think I think too much.

Well, now what am I going to do with all these locks and rounds of amo?

I wonder if Jack Bauer knows about this?

ALSO...you know how on TV when they kick a door, it flies open? Yeah, doesn't work like that either.

One time when we were out of town, we had a gas leak in our townhouse. A neighbor called the fire department at 4:00 am to report it. The neighbors forgot we were out of town and everyone thought the reason we weren't answering the door was because we were dead. They broke down the door and in doing so, took out half the wall and pulled out electric wires.

Talk about a mess.

wow! this is going to save me so much time during the hectic holiday season now that i know to just carry the shotgun.

sct72- That's what I was thinking. Why shoot at the lock part of the lock and not the shackle?

OK, on TV they shoot the lock from up close, not from a distance (probably a good way to catch a ricochet, but just sayin')

Also, in my experience, you cannot break a padlock with a fire extinguisher (at least not a good lock), a 10 pound sledge works sometimes - but it's a lot less work to just use a good set of bolt cutters...

er...not that I would know or anything...pure speculation on my part...

I have two words for anyone trying to remove a lock without the benefit of a key: BOLT CUTTERS. Works every time!

No, I didn't find this out during an illegal activity. I learned this from my high school janitor who had to bust the padlock off my locker when the stupid, cheap lock I had malfunctioned.


Ooh! A simulpost with TCK, and about the same topic, too, also! I had fun! Did you?

Yes, AN, bolt cutters do work for that, but you can't shoot the bad guy on the other side of the door with a set of bolt cutters. However, if it's a set of dolt cutters, his number is probably up.

Aunt Nancy! I KEEP telling you. That was MY locker, dangit!

My friend Javier and I did this same exact experiment in high school. Only we wented it to be more "William Tell" so we padlocked an apple to his head.

I miss Javier.

C'bol, do you mean you miss Javier 'cause didn't miss Javier?

Aunt Nancy - it was good for me too

AN & TCK: Yup, you're (not your) both right about the bolt cutters. But they only work if you take them out into the sticks with you. Not so effective when left back in town.

Kibby - that's not what you said when they found the doobage.

Stupendous - I prefer to blame the gun manufacturers, the apple growers, and, well, Javier of course.

Doobage??? SNORK!

yesterday I had to explain to my 16 year old daughter why the Doobie Brothers are called the Doobie Brothers if they're not brothers, and why they are the Doobie brothers, which required me to explain what a doobie is -this exchange followed an explanation of what a record is, my daughter having never actually seen a record - she concluded that it's kinda like a CD, only bigger...

God I feel old

Yesterday, I had to explain to my 4.5-yr-old daughter why she can't point her middle finger when in public, without actually explaining why.

That was a hard one. Especially because I couldn't stop laughing...

TCK - you mean you don't still have an actual record collection? Forsooth!
TrwC - LOL

MOTW - I had a record collection once upon a time - I don't really remember what happened to it, although I am suspicious that my wife (a/k/a the garage sale queen) may have sold them for a quarter apiece

I had a friend once who called it a "scooby", rather than a doobie. That way, (he said), if a kid heard you it wouldn't matter. He was kinda strange. Too many scoobies, maybe? :)

Southerngirl - so when he got the munchies, he needed a scooby-snack? Ruh-roh!!

MOTW, TCK, et al - I remember the moment I got my first gray hair: My niece asked me if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings.

I'm ready for my dirt-nap, Mr. DeMille....

I not only have 33 rpm - I have a collection of 78's, too. And the victrola to play them on. Danny Kaye, The Little White Duck, The Thing, some opera, 1812 Overature (two record recording), Rosemary Clooney.

"I remember the moment I got my first gray hair: My niece asked me if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings."

[stunned silence]

Paul who?

Just kidding!!!

YOU know - that guy. That guy who was in the Superbowl halftime without a single wardrobe malfunction.

My husband and I actually do have a record collection. We recently bought (at Office Depot)an old-time looking radio, which also has a CD player, a cassette player and.....a turntable!!! I've been playing my albums constantly. Oh, and we also have a HUGE collection of 8 tracks. Try explaining that to a kid. Haven't yet found a player, though.


Oh, wait! Oh, wait! I wanna try again:

"I remember the moment I got my first gray hair: My niece asked me if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings."

Well... Was he?

MOTW - you've made me feel so much better (and younger) - the very first album I ever bought was Cheap Trick - "At Budokan" (in case anyone wants to listen to clips from the album) - I bought it on an LP record even though it was available on 8 track (another medium of which my daughter is blissfully ignorant) cuz, at the time, I didn't have an 8 track player - as it was, i had to play the record on my older brother's stereo.

I am happy to say that Danny Kaye is a little before my time (NTTAWWT)

"I remember the moment I got my first gray hair: My niece asked me if Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings."

Well... Was he?

this is obviously a trick question, cuz Wings sucked too bad to be considered an actual band...

LOL @ Tamara RWC

southerngirl - try e-bay for the 8 track player. my older brother bought an 8 track recorder off e-bay last year (not sure why - it's not like you can buy blank 8 tracks to record on to)

*Smacks Tamara R-W-C upside the head with a fish...*

Don't make me get up from this rocker, young lady. It's not nice to poke fun at us geezers.

...and by the way, "Cheap Trick - Live at Budokan" was a GREAT album. Ranks right up there with "April Wine Live at the El Mocambo".

*wanders off singing "I want you to want me..." and "21st Century Schizoid Man"...*

April Wine... I love April Wine. Years ago I asked an older friend if she liked April Wine. She said, "I don't know, I never tasted it." ISIANMTU.

My kids were singing out loud to "Surrender" recently, and I was surprised. Turns out it's the song that plays on their ATV OffRoad Fury PS2 game. (sigh)

Anybody notice how I always think of something else to say after I post, and then I have to post again?

I grew up with a record player, and we only just moved it into the garage two years ago. This has less to do with my age than with the fact that my dad thinks of computers as "new fangled" and refuses to get a cell phone.
We listened to the William Tell Overture and the Chipmonks Christmas record.
Some of my friends never realized records were used for more than just scratching.

You know, this guy talks about how great retirement is. I'm 22. And I'm already ready for it. I need enough money to retire for the rest of my life on. In the next five minutes. Who's got an idea?

Anent the kids being unfamiliar with "records" and such ...

I once said to my oldest granddaughter, something about ... "... an LP ..."

Then I asked her if she knew what an LP was ...

"Yeah, it's kinda like a big CD ..."

I did not know (not knot no) whether to feel even older, or be pridefully pleased that her learning has included some historical items ... altho, when I consider the fact that her mom is a Trivia Champion ... mebbe that's got something to do with it ...

It gets worse, when your 13-year-old daughter thinks that 1985 was the height of musical talent in history....if she brings leg warmers into the house, I may have to adopt her out.

Guin --

It's been a long time since my daughters were 13 ... we did have a stretch of about a year and a half when all three were teenagers, tho ...

I'd guess that they'd all like to "youthen" a bit, tho I doubt they'd want to go back to 13 ... mebbe to 18?

Personally, I'd give $100 to be 40 again ... $500 to be 30 ... but that's about it ... I don't think I'd want to be 20 again ...

They'd get upset tho, if I actually listened to some of "their" music, and seem to enjoy it ... this was usually when someone else had covered an oldie, and they thought it was "new" ... "You can't like our music, Dad" ...

I'd say, "Yeah, well I liked it when it first came out ..." and they'd be disgusted ... again ...

Southerngirl - I have a 1973 particle board stereo - am/fm radio, turntable and 8-track. I would give it away, but, damn, I love my set of Beatles 8 tracks. My daughter says I could burn 'em to CDs, but then I'd have to get off the geezer bus to do it....

Beatles....Beatles.....isn't that the band with Paul something or other?

*smacks Mr C with an halibut*

That's the second time you've fish-whipped me, Mr C--and neither time was I pre-prepared with a silly dance.

And, purely for the record, I never make fun of geezers; it is my major goal in life to become one. ;)


Oh my gosh, Southerngirl! You like totally spelled "beetle" wrong!

And, I've been wondering: What's a band? Is that like TWO dj's on TWO turntables? At the same time??

buncha smart-owl whippersnappers ... grumble grumble ...

Wings? I didn't know Paul McCartney was on the TV show Wings.

Whippersnapper --

No, Paul McCartney did the theme music for Wings, the TV show ... Or was that Paul Lynde?

At the risk of being gross - Always™ got Wings. Come to think of it, so does Redbull™ .

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