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November 29, 2005


Get out of your car now.


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I buy my snake a monthly pass for public transit. Keeps him out of my car!

I grew up in southern Florida, and I came face-to-face with a spider the size of Godzilla while driving one evening. He was behind the visor. You can bet I was out of that car faster than a clown escapes his tiny car. (I kid you not, those miserable "house spiders" can be bigger than your widespread hand.) *shiver*

Dave, ith yoo mouf awite?

Somehow, I never pictured snake wranglers heading out to quarry their prey with a holster of Aqua Net.

Did you scroll down to see the other stories? I think "Naked Ear Squat" WBAGNFARB

Whether or not is WBAGNFARB, what the heck is a 'nude ear squat' anyway?


Let me get this straight. A poisonous, death-causing serpent 3 feet long slithers into his car, and the first place he calls is City Hall? And then he calls the police?

Am I the only one who finds this odd?

Perhaps the Kuala Lumpur City Hall is where the Serpent Extermination Board is located.

hmm. serpent elimination board wbagnfarb, or board of serpent elimination... nah. i've worked for the govt for too long...

"Snake wranglers. Why did it have to be snake wranglers?" Also, "The Snake Wranglers" WBAGNFARB.


(1) Go to www.80s.com
(2) Click on "Entertainment"
(3) Scroll down & click "Valley URL"
(4) Type in a URL (Dave's, for example), then hit "Enter" on your keyboard, and...
(5) The site is translated into totally awesome Vallingo, fer sure!!!

From the grody swamps of Arkansas, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

Jilly, I would have to bet that the aerosol they used was not Aquanet, but Axe body spray (fav motto: "Farmers have asked to use you as pesticide"). My teenage son brought some home from practice one night and, GAG, suffice to say, it found its way to the bottom of a trashcan pretty quick.

Overheard on the phone:

Hello, City Hall? Got a metRe long cobra listed in the Lost & Found? Nope? Well, I've got one here - just crawled into my car as I was eating breakfast. You'd better put me through to the Fire Department then.

Hello, Fire Department? Yea, got this metRe long cobra in my car ... what? NO, it's not on fire! No, the snakes not on fire either! Oh, you only deal with fires huh? NO. It's not a rental, it's mine. Calling the rental office is out. So? Who could you recommend to me that'll ... oh, the next desk is the Rescue Squad? Ok, I'll try them.

MOTW - Axe not only stinks, but my neighbor tells me it permanently etched the glass in her bathroom mirror (courtesy of her teen son). You're right - it could easily kill a snake.

Well you’re the real tough cookie with the long history
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me
That’s o.k., lets see how you do it
Pull down your drawers, lets get down to it!

Do a naked ear squat!
Why don’t you a naked ear squat!
Do a naked ear squat!
Fire away!

I make up bogus charges, I know it ain't fair
But that’s too bad, see if I care!
Squat on down, feel the burn!
Then get ready for another turn!

Do a naked ear squat!
Why don’t you a naked ear squat!
Do a naked ear squat!
Fire away!

We'll be contacting you shortly, Mudstuffin.

Like, Ivory Bill, I tried it, and it was you know, like, totally tubular. Especially the, you know, comments section.

IBW, I'm, like, you know, crying right now. That was just like, so, totally excellent.

Two hours to catch a snake? The should have just called in this guy.

Or this guy. It takes one to catch one.

Ooh, Bumble, good connection there!! (See, for those who don't know, Tom Sizemore played Snake in the movie Big Trouble, based on Our Dave's blockbuster novel.)

Is Big Trouble available on DVD?

Southerngirl - Amazon has it, for $13.99 with free shipping (and used ones from $4.13).

Trust me, if there's a snake ANYWHERE in my vicinity, I will be on TOP of the car before I can call ANYONE!

Mrs. Thepoint~ Is Mr. C the sort of guy who does his manly duty and catches the snakes, kills the spiders, chases the bats out of the house etc? :-)

Snakes. Why does it have to be snakes?

Bumble - You bet I am.

Mr. C- Was I asking you? ;-) Just kidding.

I'll call you next time a bat gets in.

Maybe I'm touching a third rail here, but you seem to have a thing for snake stories. So, can you tell me, do you have an issue in the "oosik" department? IYKWITA? NTTAWWTNTTAWTNTTAWWT...

Thanks, Mr. C. I ordered it last night.

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